Cast of Characters

(Listed more or less in order of appearance and by type)

INDOOR ANIMALS

Bunnies

Binky: stubborn dwarf Dutch troublemaker

Bertha: feral Netherland dwarf, captured in suburbia

Bertie: Netherland dwarf, brother to Rollo

Rollo: Netherland dwarf, brother to Bertie

Walter: large-headed Checker Giant, rescued from barn

Parrots

Ollie: ill-tempered brotogeris “pocket parrot”

Stanley Sue: gender-switching African grey Timneh

Dusty: chatty, author-biting Congo African grey

Other Birds

Howard: amorous ring-neck dove

Chester: non-hand-tamed canary

Elliott: feisty canary, successor to Chester

Farley: parakeet senior citizen

Rossy: Ollie’s female parakeet suitor

Reggie: Howard’s male parakeet suitor

Sophie: demure female parakeet

Tillie: visiting dove

Weaver: special guest starling

Cats

Penny: grey reclusive female, intended as Binky’s friend

Agnes: bold outdoorswoman, discovered under bird feeder

OUTDOOR ANIMALS

Ducks

Daphne: Muscovy from auto-parts parking lot

Phoebe: black-and-white Cayuga, smitten by wanderlust

Martha: Blue Swede with ear-splitting voice

Peggy: heroic call duck, protector of Chloe

Chloe: mallard who learned to limp

Blabby and Wing Ding: “smelly” call-duck delinquents

Stewart: Khaki Campbell, brother to Trevor

Trevor: Khaki Campbell, brother to Stewart

Marybelle, Clara, and Gwelda: unexpected mixed-duck offspring

Hector: cantankerous, shoulder-sitting Muscovy

Richie: Richmond Pond foundling

Timmy: unexpected son of Richie

Geese

Liza: lap-sitting African goose, sister to Hailey

Hailey: slightly less-friendly goose, sister to Liza

Turkeys

Hazel: victim of sneak attack

Lizzie: presumed perpetrator of sneak attack

And two that remain nameless

ORDINARY HUMANS

Bob Tarte: put-upon author

Linda Tarte: long-suffering wife to unfortunate author

Joan Smith: sister to victimized author

Rupert Murdoch: nonbillionaire duck breeder

Jacob Lestermeyer: operator of petting zoo/meat market

LuAnne Grady: owner of indoor orphan Green-Winged Teal

Bill Holm: mocking yuppie friend of pathetic author

Marge and George Chedrick: DNR-affiliated animal rehabbers

LETTERED HUMANS

Alanson Benedict, DVM: “So you’ve been bad-mouthing our practice.”

Katherine Stallings, DVM: prescriber of questionable ointments

Michael Hedley, DVM: amiable zoo-consultant genius

Alice Colby, DVM: doesn’t do turkeys

Owen Fuller, DVM: avian expert extraordinaire

John Carlotti, DVM: made Howard a collar

Carl Glaser, MD: “Do you hear voices?”

Jerold Rick, MD: heartless hippie shrink