Think of being frugal as an art form, not a science. If you are prepared and know the right questions to ask of each other and your vendors, you can shave hundreds and even thousands of dollars off your wedding expenses. Negotiating with your vendors equips you with essential ammunition you’ll need to play the frugal wedding game and come out winners! Just remember: This is your wedding and regardless of what it costs or how it will be financed, you are celebrating your love.
When you consider your budget, discuss with your fiancé the elements of a wedding that mean the most to you, and then focus the bulk of your funds on those items.
•
Share your research and discuss your budget concerns.
•
Decide together to spend money on the parts of your wedding that you will really remember and cherish after it is all over. For example, the pictures will last forever, so you may not want to skimp on your photographer.
•
Set up a wedding budget on your computer with a spreadsheet or similar program. Or, go online and visit wedding Web sites (see this page). Many provide wedding budget planners to assist you in staying within your means. Quicken or Excel spreadsheets work well, too.
Super Duper Deal
Attend local wedding expos when they come to your town or a city nearby. While the vendors can be aggressive and the crowds sometimes overwhelming, an abundance of discounts and free prizes—including honeymoons, reception sites, and limousine transportation—are raffled off.
Open up a separate checking account for your wedding expenses. It will help you keep track of your costs and separate them from your everyday expenditures.
•
Set up a wedding calendar with key dates when deposits are due, contracts need to be confirmed, and so forth. This calendar can also help you put aside the funds you need in a timely manner; perhaps a certain amount can be allotted per paycheck in the months preceding your wedding day.
•
Keep your sense of humor, as money matters can often get heated and sticky. Remind yourselves why you are getting married in the first place, and know that wedding budgeting is only the first of many financial discussions you will have for years to come. It’s good practice!
Choose a day that perhaps isn’t typically a “wedding” day. My husband and I were married Friday at noon at the Four Seasons Biltmore in Santa Barbara. We chose Friday simply because all the Saturdays in February were booked. But, by doing so, we were able to negotiate fees with virtually every vendor, from the officiator to the harpist. We were having a sit-down lunch at The Biltmore, which included a three-course meal (salad, entrée, and dessert plus wedding cake). Well, we didn’t want dessert and wedding cake, so we were able to replace dessert with another course. The wedding coordinator at the hotel said this was possible because of the day we chose, and she waived the site fee for our outdoor nuptials also because we were married on a Friday.
—Elizabeth B., Long Beach, CA
First, review your finances together. Are you paying for your own wedding? Are parents or other relatives helping defray your costs?
•
You don’t want to be poor after your wedding and blow your entire life savings on this celebration. Again, assess which areas are the most important to you, and begin shaving off other areas. For example, if having a live band as opposed to a deejay is a priority, trim the cost of your flowers or photography package. If your honeymoon is really where you want to splurge, consider an hors d’oeuvres reception only or a destination wedding (more on that later).
Decide together where you want your budget to go. We chose photography because pictures last a lifetime. That was important to me and we hired the best we could find.
—Sarah S., New York, NY
List your financial needs for the wedding, and formulate what you think your highest threshold of expenses will be. Then add 10 percent for a cushion!
•
See where you can cut your personal expenses prior to the wedding to save toward your big day. For instance, instead of going out to dinner and a movie for a date, eat in, rent a movie or watch one on TV, and pop your own popcorn. Put your savings from that night (and every other cheap date night) into a cookie jar or wedding bank account.
Ask yourself these questions with regard to every aspect of your wedding, and you’ll be surprised what you may come up with.
1. What can you get donated or recycled to use as props for your wedding? For example, can you borrow silk floral arrangements or other nonperishable table centerpieces from anyone?
2. Does a friend or relative have a great car you can use as your getaway vehicle, and could that person be your chauffeur?
3. Do you know anyone with a location or home who would be willing to host your wedding ceremony or reception and by doing so eliminate your site fee?
4. Is there a dress, veil, or wedding jewelry you can borrow from a family member or friend?
Here’s how we got free centerpieces. I used some old-time lanterns and lamps that my father had collected over the years from antique stores and estate auctions. We had enough for sixteen tables. For an old-fashioned touch, we sprinkled bittersweet chocolate shavings around the bases. Since we got married in a 1930s rustic lodge with exposed beams and stone, the lanterns really fit well. I would also recommend the eclectic look for people trying to cut costs. Have each table centerpiece look different—from candlesticks to plants. Cull items from neighbors, coworkers, cousins, and other friends. People are too beholden to floral arrangements as centerpieces, but a simple bowl of fruit works well and can double as the party favor, too.
—Sara S., Algona, IA
Super Duper Deal
Sign up for all free giveaways, drawings, and coupon offers at wedding retailers, registry locations, and other wedding-related vendors. Someone wins those prizes, so why can’t it be you?
A small but important way to save is to see if your registries, vendors, and other wedding retailers have toll-free phone numbers, fax numbers, e-mail accounts, or addresses you can use to communicate with them. Long-distance calls and tolls can add up!
Frugal Freebie
One couple actually had their wedding sponsored by local companies and agreed to publicize items at their wedding to gain exposure for these companies. Talk about clever marketing and budgeting!
If you plan to pay for items for your wedding party such as bridesmaids’ shoes or groomsmen’s tuxedo deposits, use a credit card. That way, if anything goes wrong with sizes or colors, you’ll have recourse through the credit card company (even if the store has a “no cancellation” or “no return” policy).
•
Use a credit card that earns you airline mileage. You may rack up enough to get free plane tickets for your honeymoon or to fly in a special guest who cannot afford the trip.
•
If you don’t already have a mileage-earning credit card because of the annual fee, consider purchasing one at this time. Your $60 or so will come back to you at least tenfold in free flights.
•
If you don’t have a high enough limit on a credit card to make it worthwhile to earn miles, consider getting more than one and designate it to another airline for mile-earning potential. Also, some airlines such as Alaska Air and American Airlines have reciprocity and allow for shared miles or mileage accrual to be merged to purchase tickets. Check with yours.
•
Be sure to pay off your credit card in full each month, or your interest will add up and things that were a bargain will quickly become a financial burden.
•
If you have difficulty paying off your full credit card balance, then only use the credit card for items that you may want to return or for “wedding insurance purposes.”
Consider taking out a home equity loan. A home equity loan is a second mortgage on a residence that can be used to pay for big-ticket items such as weddings. The interest rates are not as high as those on your credit card bills, and you can often take a tax deduction on your wedding expenses if you itemize. (Ask your accountant or local bank for more details to be sure this type of loan program is right for you.)
•
If you are comfortable doing so, ask a family member for a loan to help pay for your wedding. They may offer you a no-interest or very low interest payback method.
Are you the stronger negotiator, or is your groom? One of you should be designated in advance to take the lead.
•
Who is going to read the fine print before signing on the dotted line—you or your groom? Or, would a parent be better at reviewing these small but nonetheless important details?
Play your vendors’ price quotes off against each other. Be careful not to use the name of the competing vendor as you may get caught in an awkward position since many know one another. The regional wedding industry is surprisingly small. However, even if you have your heart set on a particular vendor, be sure you keep a poker face to get a fair price.
•
Have your questions ready. Know what you want to ask of each vendor before your call or meeting. (Consult specific question lists in chapters pertaining to those vendors.)
•
Meet face-to-face whenever possible so you can see where your vendor conducts business. You’ll quickly learn a lot about them by observing their home turf. Also, request to read reference letters and get phone numbers of couples who have used them so you can get an inside scoop.
•
Request to see a photo album or video of their work and upcoming dates of public events so you can witness their work firsthand.
Q. Is it appropriate to ask for friends to contribute toward our home down payment or honeymoon as their wedding gift to us?
A. Yes, it is, if that is what you truly want and it will make a difference to you financially. More and more couples are registering for nontraditional gifts as alternatives to china and dishware. Try to have some items on a traditional registry, though, so your guests can decide for themselves what they are comfortable purchasing for you.
