So, you plan to honor some of your nearest and dearest friends and relatives by including them as members of your wedding party. What can you do to save? Obviously the most frugal route is to have no wedding party at all and just a witness or two at the county courthouse, but this option is not necessarily realistic for the majority of brides and grooms. This chapter describes scores of ways to save you and your attendants significant dollars while also preserving the quality and appearance of your wedding team.
Elope and have witnesses provided by the courthouse or chapel. Another option with no attendant costs.
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Instead of having bridesmaids, ask a few close girlfriends to help you get dressed the day of the wedding, be in charge of the guest book, do a reading in the ceremony, or serve as witness to your marriage license. They can wear their own dresses, and you are not obligated to get them gifts.
Scrimp & Save
Keep your wedding party small—maybe family only—to limit complexities and expenses related to attendants.
I had just my two sisters as matron and maid of honor at my wedding. That way I didn’t have to deal with the cost and politics associated with having attendants. My stepson served as my husband’s best man and also walked with him down the aisle. So the groom’s attendants were his oldest best friend and his son. To honor a few close friends, I had them do readings during the ceremony but didn’t have all of the bridesmaid fuss to deal with. It was just what I wanted, saving me and my groom unnecessary headaches and money!
—Lexi K., San Francisco, CA
Eliminate the tuxedo rental costs completely and allow the groomsmen to wear their own suits. Specify navy for the color since most men own at least one navy suit.
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Add up the number of groomsmen who already own their tuxedos and let them wear their own as opposed to renting. If a few friends in your circle are getting married within the same year or two of you, see if groomsmen will buy their own tuxedos to wear to all of the functions. Owning a tuxedo can be more cost-effective than renting one more than twice in one year.
Frugal Freebie
If you do go with tuxedo rentals, let the guys wear their own black dress shoes instead of having to pay for shoes, too. No one will notice, and they will be a lot more comfortable.
Choose a tuxedo that is reasonably priced since styles all look relatively the same to your guests. Remember the idea is that the guys look the same, not that they are all in a designer label.
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Ask the tuxedo salesperson whether he or she can cut you a deal on the quantity of tuxes you order or give the groom his rental for free since you are bringing in business.
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Never accept the listed rental price. Always negotiate.
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If you plan to purchase items for your wedding party such as bridesmaid’s shoes or groomsmen’s tuxedo deposits, pay for those on a credit card. That way, if anything goes wrong with sizes or colors, you’ll have recourse through the credit card company (even if the store has a “no cancellation” or “no return” policy).
Remind the groomsmen to check that all of the pieces of their tuxedo are inside the garment bag before leaving the shop. It is often too late to replace items that are discovered missing on the day of the wedding. This can cost you significantly in emergency situations.
Choose a specific fabric or color scheme, and send samples of it to your wedding party, so each attendant can buy or make a dress that suits her body type, style, and budget.
Super Duper Deal
Save your bridesmaids a bundle by choosing black as the color for your wedding party and letting them each wear their own black cocktail dress.
Encourage your bridesmaids to look for dresses at trunk shows, sample sales, or other discount retailers.
If you decide to order bridesmaid dresses through a retailer, ask the salesperson who sold you your gown about a group discount if your attendants purchase their dresses through the same store.
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If you know someone who sews reasonably well, pick a basic pattern and some fabric and have that person make the dresses. Better yet, if it is a close friend, ask if he or she will do the sewing for you as a wedding gift.
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Order bridesmaid dresses through a catalog. The quantity order can save you hundreds of dollars, and your attendants can have them altered slightly on their own if necessary. Plus, the catalog will send to various addresses and may waive shipping fees if you order a large quantity—be sure to ask. Also, catalog sales are generally great about returns. Check the catalog company’s policy before giving your credit card number.
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Let your bridesmaids buy their dresses off of the rack at a department store or nonwedding retail outlet. “Bridesmaid” dresses are by definition more expensive than regular cocktail dresses.
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If the old adage, “A bridesmaid only wears her dress once,” holds true, then let that truly be the case. Consider renting bridesmaid dresses from a costume, tuxedo, or prom-gown retailer.
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If you order floor-length or an unusual-colored dress, encourage your bridesmaids to shorten or dye their dress after the wedding so they can get another use out of it.
Remember that having only one attendant each is very freeing. Your maid or matron of honor can select any style of dress that suits her figure, without having to accommodate any other attendants. That way she is more likely to choose something that she can wear again later.
—Charlene W., Lakeland, FL
Don’t require your bridesmaids to wear jewelry. Or, at minimum, ask them to wear (or borrow if they don’t own) pearl or diamondlike stud earrings. Less can be more and will save everyone money!
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Allow your bridesmaids to wear their own black or white heels instead of insisting they dye shoes to match their dresses. Or, select a basic shoe for them from a discount shoe store that they will be able to wear again after the wedding.
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If the wedding is outdoors or takes place during a warmer season, don’t require your attendants to wear expensive pantyhose. If you do require hose, purchase them for your attendants at a discounter. Collect their sizes so they can all be bought at the same time and are the same brand and sheerness. (Purchase a few extra pairs in case of runs or snags!)
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Don’t buy pantyhose with beading, lacey frills, or other unique touches. Keep them plain and simple (i.e., inexpensive).
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Skip accessories like shoe clips, ornate jewelry, shawls, hair bows, and other unnecessary frills that will add to your attendant cost but not make a great difference to their appearance. Simple is better and less expensive!
Scrimp & Save
Find a dress that allows your attendants to wear their own regular bras (as opposed to expensive corsets or strapless bras that they may only wear once). If they do need to wear a special type of lingerie, encourage them to borrow.
Have bridesmaids do their own hair rather than paying for a group salon session before the wedding. Or, if you personally know a good hair and makeup person, see if he or she will do it for your group as your wedding gift.
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Encourage bridesmaids to get manicures before they arrive (simple French or pale polish so they all look the same). Their own manicurist will definitely be cheaper than the hotel’s, if that is your wedding site. Plus, you won’t feel obligated to treat them to manicures if you do a girls’ salon morning the day of the wedding.
Frugal Freebie
Send your bridesmaids to a department store to have their makeup done for free the morning of your wedding. Preselect what brand you want them to use as well as eye shadow, lipstick, and liner colors. Then buy one lipstick for them to share for touch-ups throughout the photos and the actual event.
Have someone make the ring pillow for a fraction of the cost of purchasing a premade one. Create it with handkerchiefs or even a pillowcase, and add some lace or extra dress fabric from your gown or bridesmaid dresses. Fill the pillow with stuffing or scented potpourri.
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Do as one bride did and borrow a ring pillow from a married friend. It will be as good as new since it has only been used once!
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Instead of purchasing, rent the ring bearer outfit from a tuxedo shop.
Advise the ring bearer’s parents to check resale shops or children’s apparel consignment stores for formal outfits. Many for resale have only been worn once, especially children’s dress shoes.
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Have a family friend make the ring bearer’s outfit with a small color-coordinated touch such as a pocket handkerchief, tie, or a colored accent pillow that matches the wedding party colors.
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Allow the ring bearer to wear simple slacks or shorts, oxford shirt, and vest or blazer. Remind the mother of the ring bearer that these items can be borrowed or rented.
I borrowed a ring bearer outfit for my son from a girlfriend whose son had been in a wedding a few weekends earlier. I used masking tape to “hem” the pants and stuffed tissue in the toes of the shoes. It worked out just fine and saved me the cost of renting or buying a child’s tuxedo! The bride also had my son carry the ring pillow that was carried at my wedding and used that as her “something borrowed.”
—Cindy C., Ross, CA
Have the parents of your flower girl or junior bridesmaid select a plain white or color-coordinated dress that they already have or can rent for the wedding. Don’t ask them to go to the expense of having a dress made for the one-time walk down the aisle.
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Christening or Easter dresses work well for flower girls who can later use the outfit for playing dress-up! Purchase them after the Easter holiday to find sale prices.
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Off the rack will be cheaper than buying a “flower girl” dress.
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Designate a junior bridesmaid from the rest of the wedding party with a special sash, scarf, or different floral arrangement rather than having an entirely separately styled dress.
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If your attendants’ dresses are not too revealing, just order the same dress in a smaller size for the junior bridesmaid.
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Or, have a junior bridesmaid select a dress in the same color as your wedding party but a more suitable style for a younger girl. Perhaps another dress in your color group or fabric selection would work.
Consider earrings or other costume jewelry that you want the bridesmaids to wear for the ceremony, an inexpensive stationery set (monogrammed or not depending on budget), a picture frame with a quote in it, or small, pretty handbags to use at the wedding.
I had a friend in the printing business who printed up personalized stationery sets for each of our male and female wedding attendants. He gave us the stationery as our wedding gift—along with enough for us to write our thank-you notes on. He saved us from having to buy gifts for our wedding party and thank-you cards for ourselves!
—Ken G., St. Louis, MO
A new inexpensive trend is to give wedding party gifts that grow, such as perennial flowers (or seeds) that will bloom each year to remind attendants of your special day. Attach a simple card with a note explaining why you have selected this sort of thank-you.
For groomsmen, purchase inexpensive group sales tickets to a sports event—even if you are sitting in bleachers or high-up seats. You can attend the event together over the wedding weekend, and the outing makes a fun, unique gift idea that you can share.
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For bridesmaids, pamper them with a spa certificate—maybe you can arrange for a price break if you go as a group! Or, go together to a massage school where students are training to give massages for a fraction of the cost.
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If your event is not black tie, purchase color-coordinated ties for your groomsmen as their gifts.
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Print up wedding weekend T-shirts at a local copy shop with the date, your names, and even a scanned picture of yourselves as a fun and inexpensive memento.
Scrimp & Save
Make gifts using items from craft stores, computerized programs, or your own artistic talent.
Give the wedding party a special bottle of wine labeled with your own message (use a metallic pen or computerized label). Once they drink the wine, the bottle serves as a nice souvenir. Purchase the wine by the case or from a wholesaler or warehouse store to get the best price.
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Decorate inexpensive plastic or wooden picture frames with paint pens, glitter, lace, or other trinkets from craft stores. Insert a preprinted message in the frames and after the wedding mail your bridesmaids and groomsmen a photo from the wedding to place in it.
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A ceramic mug full of jelly beans, chocolate kisses, M&Ms, or other tasty treats makes a nice souvenir and thoughtful memento.
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Head to a local discount warehouse such as Costco or Sam’s Club for off-the-beaten-path items like fun beach towels, home accessories, flowering plants, thematic DVDs or videos (Four Weddings and a Funeral or Father of the Bride) CDs, or other appropriate items on sale at quantity discounted prices.
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Gift certificates for the following work for both genders: movies, theater events, music stores, coffeehouses, restaurants, or video rentals. Even a phone card with long-distance minutes would be thoughtful and appreciated!
Search for deals at outlet shopping malls. Scarves, small leather goods, travel items, or lingerie are all fun items to get for bridesmaids. Wallets, business card holders, travel kits, neckties, or key chains are excellent ideas for men.
Q. I am struggling to select my wedding party and don’t want to hurt any feelings of others who have included me as an attendant in their wedding. I cannot pare down my choices and am already up to twelve bridesmaids! What should I do?
A. Don’t feel that you have to include those who have included you unless they are truly your nearest and dearest friends and your party will not feel complete without them. Imagine who you will be close to in twenty years and start eliminating from there. If feelings are hurt, so be it. This is your wedding day, and too large a wedding party adds up in costs and complexities. Instead, consider bestowing other duties such as reading a poem or passage during your ceremony, serving as witness to your marriage certificate, or being in charge of your guest book.