Registering can be a sticky process. You want to get great gifts and things that you and your partner need for your new life together, but also you may want to do some out-of-the-ordinary things with contributions to help defray wedding, honeymoon, or new-home costs. Read on to find out how you can gain and save for yourselves and even your guests.
Some couples feel awkward or strange selecting gifts. If this is the case for you, think of registering as a service you are providing for family and friends as well as for yourselves.
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As a couple, you know the most about what you like and need, and registering allows guests to choose an item from your list that fits into their budget and is the particular type of gift they want to give you.
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Registering will save you a huge amount of time, effort, and money by limiting your need to return or exchange items that do not appeal to you or that you already have.
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Think of registering as a shopping spree without a cash register at the end!
Check stores’ customer service, return and exchange policies, and accessibility for your guests who live in other parts of the country and world. Some stores, for example, offer only store credit for gifts you return, while others give cash refunds, which you may prefer. Other stores have a time limit for returns.
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Be aware that some department stores insist on gift receipts for returns; others only offer you the most recent sale price within the last thirty days for a returned item without a gift receipt. This can be problematic, so be sure to ask the stores about these issues prior to establishing your registry.
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Think of registering at stores beyond the traditional houseware retailers or department stores. Home improvement, sporting goods (Recreational Equipment, Inc. (REI)), discount (e.g., Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, IKEA), entertainment equipment, and many others offer registries.
My fiancé and I are avid hikers and enjoy the great outdoors. We decided to register at REI (Recreational Equipment, Inc.) for nontraditional items like a tent, rappelling ropes, and other hiking and camping gear. We received just what we wanted!
—Robin F., San Francisco, CA
Some couples register for items beyond the traditional china, crystal, silver, appliances, and cookware. Instead, they opt for more practical, homeowner-oriented items such as furniture, barbecue grills, televisions, sporting goods, camping equipment, artwork, and even computers.
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You may want to register for towels, bedding, napkins, or tablecloths, too, to save yourself that expense.
Frugal Freebie
Many couples today register at travel agencies or mortgage lenders to allow invitees to contribute toward their honeymoon or home down payment. If you choose this type of registry, though, be sure that you also have a separate registry for more traditional wedding items so guests have a gift option other than a cash contribution.
If you don’t have a great luggage set, register for one. You’ll enjoy it on your honeymoon, future travels, and business trips.
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Register for a season subscription or individual tickets to the theater, symphony, or opera. This is the type of splurge that you may not choose to spring for when you are married and will thoroughly enjoy if it is prearranged and paid for by someone else!
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Register for membership to a health club or renewal of your current membership.
Register for classes you can take alone or together after you are married such as cooking, dance, computer, or athletic classes such as yoga, Pilates, or aerobics.
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Philanthropic brides and grooms may request that in lieu of a gift guests give donations to selected charities that mean a great deal to the couple personally in lieu of a gift. This type of registering is more common in second or third marriages in which couples already have many of the home items that they need.
Frugal Freebie
Spread the word that frequent flyer miles, hotel accommodations, or Eurail train passes (if you honeymoon in Europe) would be appreciated as a gift. One of your guests may have a connection to some of these more obscure items on your wish list.
Even if you two don’t think you’ll be entertaining formally for many years, this is the time to acquire your china. After all, do you think you’ll go out and buy china for each other on your tenth anniversary?
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The same goes for crystal and silver flatware. However, keep in mind that if you don’t think many of your invitees will be able to afford these higher-priced items, you may want to use your store credits from returned gifts toward completing these sets.
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Many everyday stemware and flatware items can be mixed in with your formal china, which will save your guests money and also eliminate the need for you to have totally separate full sets for everyday and fine china.
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Registering for a set of all-white dishes or a simple pattern, such as a white dish with single gold or blue band around the edge, can be a great way to get the best of both worlds. You can mix in any bowls, salad plates, and table linens more easily, and the dishes will never go out of style.
See if the retailer where you register offers discounts to you after your wedding date to assist you in purchasing any remaining pieces in your china pattern that were not filled.
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Consider registering through Michael C. Fina, Ross Simons, or other reputable gift catalogs that offer significant discounts on hundreds of china patterns, silver, flatware, glassware, and other wedding-related items. (See pertaining section on this page for more contact information.)
Be sure to select gifts in a wide range of prices.
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Use in-store registry checklists to help you consider all that you need. Be cautious, though: Since stores want you to register for a lot of things, their checklists may include some extraneous items that you don’t really need.
We registered for six sets of crystal $100 candlesticks. The price point seemed good for our guests. We only ended up keeping one set and used the balancing $500 credit toward more expensive items to complete our silver flatware. It worked out great, and now six families think they gave us the candlesticks, which we love, by the way, and proudly display.
—Wendy S., Jackson Hole, WY
Use common sense. Do you really need an ice cream maker, fondue pot, or bread machine that you may only use only a few times, as opposed to more practical (but less exciting) items that you will use every day, such as measuring cups, bowls, and glassware?
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Higher-priced gifts are ideal for a group of family members, friends, your wedding party, or coworkers to chip in on together.
Set up a wedding account for you and your fiancé for checks of congratulations that may arrive after your engagement.
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Many guests bring checks in cards when they come to your wedding. Be sure to have your maid of honor or best man keep these for you during the event. Some couples even have a small fabric bag or box to collect cards with checks enclosed.
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Any store credit that you receive on returns should be spent relatively quickly, especially if the store is a small, nonchain retailer. You won’t want the store to go out of business before you have a chance to exchange your items.
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Keep a master list of all gifts received, and list the approximate cost of the gift so you know how to reciprocate at a future occasion or celebration in their honor.
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Finally, if the wedding is canceled, you should return all gifts received.
Q. My fiancé feels uncomfortable registering. He thinks it is presumptuous, tacky, and greedy. How can I convince him it’s acceptable?
A. Spell it out for him if you have to! Registering is the best way to ensure you get what you want to start your new life together. Not only is it not considered tacky, it is a tradition and your guests come to expect it from brides and grooms—and every other wedding they attend. Choosing what you want eliminates the need for time-consuming returning of gifts that don’t appeal to you or are extraneous. Also, registering allows you to determine what your needs are as a couple. Your guests will be inconvenienced if there is no registry spelling out what your tastes and needs are. If he still feels uncomfortable with this form of registering, maybe he is the unconventional type who would prefer to have guests contribute to your home down payment fund or honeymoon. More and more couples are opting for this new idea.
