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The morning came in still. Normally, the sun was loud enough to awaken Shelone, but that morning was a bit unusual because she slept right through when she would normally get up to prep Abraham and get food ready. Even baby Abraham was sound asleep still along with all three of the other children.
Shelone jumped up from her reclined position and started getting things together. She peeped outside, and only a few people were out in the fields, but Mr. Marksman was nowhere around nor anyone else for that matter. After she rolled out the mat to lie Abraham on while she ran outside and gathered up some water, she ran back inside to see that Lady Rose was still asleep, unawakened by all her stirring about.
She smiled and shook her head in joy, happy that Lady Rose did what she did last night by looking after her children. One of the best things of her life came out of it, and she couldn’t wait to tell Lady Rose all about it. Inside her heart though, she kind of thought Lady Rose knew all about what she was doing. Old people had a way of setting things up the way they are supposed to happen, and Shelone had a feeling that was just what Lady Rose did.
“Cosah, wake up, son. Go on, and wash up. You know what to do. Grab everything you need, and I’ll tend to Seena and Sadie. Get on out there quickly ‘fore Mr. Marksman or them overseers checks, you here?”
“Mama, I don’t feel good today. My throat...”
Shelone’s eyes stretched so big, like she’d seen a ghost. Like her life depended on it, she went and pulled out an onion from a bag, and placed it inside Cosah’s hand. “Cough, Cosah. Cough hard so I can listen to your chest.”
Cosah obeyed, but when he coughed, she didn’t hear anything rattle in his chest like she wanted to hear. That’s when she started beating him on his back and ordered him to keep coughing. Cosah did so until it hurt and she heard what she called his chest break.
“Ouch, mama! It hurt when it broke,” Cosah complained, drawing his chest back while clasping his hands on top of it.
“Good,” Shelone stated despite the fact that her son was in pain. “Drink this water here after it sits in the sun, and eat that onion while you work. Breathe deep and keep coughing. I’ll bring more water to you. Clance should be out there somewhere...”
“Who?” he asked, holding the onion while frowning up but still taking a big bite.
Shelone paused for a second after realizing that she’d called Bigun by his real name, a name that Cosah didn’t know. “Bigun, I mean...” She fell silent again, deciding then to get eye level to him, so she got on her knees. “Cosah, now I need you to be quiet while I tell you something.” She watched as he remained obedient and quiet. “Cosah, your daddy won’t be coming back.”
At his mother’s words, he just stood there in front of her, face to face, without moving a muscle, but Shelone knew he was messed up inside. Then, a lone tear began to fall from his left eye, and when she tried to wipe it, he slapped her hand down. At that she grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him once, causing the onion to fall from his hand.
“I need you to keep yourself together! Right now! ‘Cause you don’t want that white man to come across your backside with a strap!”
Cosah tightened himself back up, and even picked up the onion from the ground before pulling himself back up to face his mother. Then, she spoke again. “He’s not coming back, not because he didn’t try, but because he can’t. He died, Cosah.” Shelone began to cry, not able to hold her pain back. “Your daddy died. He drowned the day he left, and he can’t come back anymore. I ain’t had the heart to tell you then, so I kept it from you and your sisters. It was wrong, Cosah.”
That was all it took for Cosah to collapse into his mother’s arms, and she fell backwards onto the floor, holding him tightly, barely able to hold in her cry while he sobbed on her shoulder. She held him there for as long as she could hold him, but she knew she couldn’t allow him to be the heartbroken boy he needed to be but for a short while. Death was nothing new to Cosah because he’d seen it all around him. The death of his own father was brand new and something far different, and it tore his heart to pieces.
“You’re the man of this here now, Cosah. Your father would want you to do just like he did, and even better. In fact, he know you could.” She forced him off of her body and stood him up straight. Through the anguish of her heart, she stared back at her baby boy like he was a grown man, and said, “You don’t let anybody kill you. You stay alive, just like your daddy. He fled here ‘cause they was gonna kill him. He wouldn’t let ‘em, and he drowned. No matter where you are, you stay alive...because can’t nobody kill you, Cosah. Nobody.”
Cosah only stood there crying as Shelone continued, “Wipe your eyes. Cry only when you’re alone with Jesus ‘cause He won’t tell. Don’t let nobody see you suffering in weak days, and don’t let nobody see you too strong in your good days. They hate that, them whites, and they’ll make it harder for you. When you be in their eyesight, stay regular...until you can be free. The only one you can listen to ‘sides Mr. Marksman and them is me and Bigun. His real name Clance. He with me now. We together.”
Cosah’s facial expression changed suddenly when he heard his mother’s revelation. Instead of getting angry like she thought he would, the only thing her son did was pick up his onion and start to walk out the door, confusing Shelone. She jumped up from the floor and rushed to stop him from leaving.
“Cosah?” she called, expecting an explanation for his sudden silence, and he knew it.
“Mama, you just heard what you said? I’m the man of the house now...” he continued, staring directly into her eyes fiercely. “And ain’t no other man gonna take my daddy place. Not even Bigun, and y’all can be together on that!” he shouted as he bolted from the door, leaving Shelone unable to catch him or discipline him for having what they called a smart mouth.
“Cosah!” she yelled, but he continued to run, even past the fields of cotton and into the woods. She dared not call him again for fear of drawing attention to herself and him. Even though she thought Bigun was out there, he wasn’t, so she went back inside to get the girls.
“Seena and Sadie,” she whispered over Lady Rose who was still lying there through all the talking and movement. Shelone stared down at the elderly lady and nearly lost all the color she was born with. It was odd for an old lady like her to sleep through sounds of any kind because it was common knowledge that old people could smell rain far before anyone else and feel danger before it was even near.
“Lady Rose?” she called as she touched her arm. “Lady Rose,” she called again, this time waiting to see her chest move up and down, but after seconds went by and nothing moved, Shelone fell back onto the floor in a desperate scream. Baby Abraham woke up, and her twins jumped from their resting place, terrified and running toward their mother. Shelone continued to heap cries of desperation and disbelief against the weak walls of the cabin until others began to run inside.
“She’s dead. She’s dead!” Shelone screamed as she squeezed her head in terror. “Oh dear God,” she yelled, trembling as she reached for her baby while Seena and Sadie became increasingly afraid even though they had no idea what had happened.
As the door to her cabin opened, it was Lily who dropped down to her knees beside her friend to find out what was wrong. Her arms cradled Shelone’s head and rocked it back and forth in search of Cosah as she scanned the room. “Is it Cosah? Is it Cosah?” she panted becoming worried at the young boy’s fate. She’d seen many people get sold off without a word to their mothers, so she immediately thought that was what happened until she heard again what Shelone screamed.
“Oh God, she’s dead, Lily, she’s dead...” she continued to cry as Lily’s eyes finally looked over to Lady Rose who was lying there with her back turned toward everyone. No one could see her face, and two of the others who walked in also heard her cry about Lady Rose, causing them to break down into tears immediately. Afterwards, it was Bigun who came inside and another man right after him, as they walked toward Lady Rose, picked her up carefully, and removed her from her death bed, the same bed where Shelone and her daughters cuddled up on that was made of hay with some sheets to cover it. Cosah had his own bed at the foot of the bed where they slept.
Quickly, Lily took baby Abraham from Shelone’s arms and rushed the twins to her quarters, all the while ordering them to quiet down. She stopped inside Lady Rose’s cabin on the way to hers in order to get some extra food for Abraham to start beating it down to nothing more than mush while she waited for the shock to leave Shelone’s body. As she took the children, she noticed where they were taking Lady Rose’s body...to Mr. Marksman’s house. Normally, that wouldn’t happen, but because Lady Rose was the oldest, they felt it necessary to get permission to miss part of the day of picking cotton to get the casket ready for a funeral on the day of Mr. Marksman’s choice.
It didn’t take long for Mr. Marksman to arrive at the door. He was fully clothed and ready to go on a journey he’d planned, but when he saw Lady Rose being held up in the arms of Bigun and another one of his strongest Negro men, he only stood there for a while. There was no expression on Mr. Marksman’s face at all, and after about one minute of only staring, he walked down the front porch steps, lifted his wooden stick he carried with him nearly everywhere he went, and poked it into her side.
“Suppose you boys askin’ me what?” Mr. Marksman asked in his normal Southern, high pitched tone. “Looks like she died on me.”
“Yessah. We bring her to you, so you can see for yourself that we need to make up her casket today in order to give her a decent funeral if that be possible? She been the caretaker of us all, so we hope you grant us this here time, suh?”
Mr. Marksman stared out over his cotton field and over into his own personal garden, and then he looked back down at Lady Rose. “I suppose. She was right good there looking after everybody. Anybody else out here know what she did, the healing skill she had?”
“I don’t know, suh,” Bigun responded, shoving back his emotions as the gravity of the situation he held in his arms beat him worse than any whipping he’d ever gotten from a slave master. His heart was heavy, but weakness, he dared not show.
“Well, find out!” Mr. Marksman shouted. “Take her on,” he continued, waving his stick at her lifeless body. “I still want the same amount of cotton picked this afternoon, and that funeral won’t be ‘till Sunday night, and not no sooner. Box her up and sit her down. I need my crop.” He started back up the steps and then stopped once again. “Tuck her up right nice there. She did a lot for my children. Lot for us.”
“Yessuh,” they both responded, carrying Lady Rose off to her cabin. As they walked with her, the ladies cleared out her cabin and prepared for her a nice resting place until the casket was ready and the hole was dug. They would have a ceremony for Lady Rose privately, before Mr. Marksman or any of the whites could be there to see it all.
**
“She knew she was gonna die, Lily. She knew it. She ain’t never came over to my cabin like she did last night, and I shoulda known! I shouldn’ta left her like I did. But you mark my words, Lily, she was breathing when I came in and went to sleep.”
“She probably was. She probably was,” Lily answered as she got some of the last bit of items from Lady Rose’s cabin, having left Seena and Sadie to watch over Abraham for some minutes at the quarters with two other ladies so she could check on Shelone. It didn’t take long for her place to be cleaned out. Everyone knew what to do with the items, just what Lady Rose would have wanted. Some of the items, like her favorite sheet and things her mother gave her from way back would be buried with her. It was Shelone who said she would go and get the shells from the beach so that she could layer the prettiest ones across her body, and the sound of the ocean would rest with her, keeping her asleep until the return of Jesus.
“No probably. I know. I’m just so sad she gone, Lily.”
“I am, too. I’ll watch Abraham for you since I got no youngsters...”
“No! No, you can’t do that. Mr. Marksman needs your hand,” she whispered, afraid of anyone hearing what she said. “If he finds out that I can’t manage and that he is losing the help he gets from you on account of me, he’ll sell my baby. He will! I know he will. No,” She walked over to the cabin’s door. “I will feed Abraham and he will stay with me...on my back...and I will do just fine. Just fine.” A chill went down her spine as she waited on Lily to answer her, but she never did say one word back. Shelone knew that Lily was already grasping at straws to not be moved again. She was doing everything she possibly could do, but the truth was that she needed a reason for Mr. Marksman to keep her. Women needed to bear children, and Lily had none.
As Shelone walked out of Lady Rose’s cabin, she met Bigun and the other male carrying her body to lay it down in the cabin. The bed was already made, with extra hay and a nice sheet that was freshly washed at the lake not too long ago. Tears began to flow like raging rivers down Shelone’s cheeks, and as Lady Rose’s body passed right beside her and into the cabin, Bigun couldn’t even look Shelone in her face. He was crying, too. Instead of waiting, Shelone ran off in a hurry to look for Cosah before picking, shoving her emotions to the side to get going in order to have enough cotton picked later. On top of that, she needed to get back to wrap Abraham on her body so she could feed and pick at the same time.
As she ran further into the woods, she yelled, “Cosah! Cosah! You must come back. The hands for pickin’ is gonna be light, and we need your help. Cosah, please!” When she didn’t get a response, she accepted the fact that he’d run off. Deep down in her heart, she also knew that he would come back, so she ran back toward the fields after stopping off to get Abraham. Then, her, Seena and Sadie went to the fields. To her surprise, Cosah was already there, but he’d positioned himself on the far side where nobody could hardly see his head in the higher cotton. Shelone didn’t mind at all, as long as he was where he should have been, for his sake and hers.
––––––––
It wasn’t long before the sun was baking Shelone’s back, and Abraham was wrapped in front of her busy breastfeeding as she felt her way around the bristles of the cotton. She needed Clance badly, but knew he had to wrestle with that dirt, getting the hole in the ground just right so that Lady Rose could be sent off honorably. She figured she’d ride to the ocean with Clance when the night set in good so that she would be back before the sun came up. Everyone needed to be ready to send Lady Rose off. She was everyone’s mother...even the mother to the white children.