Part 1: 12 Public Speaking Myths
Part 2: 5 Tips to Reduce Your Fear
Part 3: Practice Matters
Part 4: The Ultimate Secret
Part 5: Believe You Can
Practice Speech: Amaze and astound your favorite pet or plant.
Objectives
By the end of this chapter you should be able to:
1. Explain why popular myths about public speaking can harm one’s delivery.
2. Identify anxiety-reducing tips.
3. Establish a deliberate practice that incorporates the 5 Speech Delivery Tactics.
4. Discover the secret to overcoming your fear of public speaking.
5. Believe you can transform your ability to communicate.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear. – Jack Canfield
It astounds me how much misinformation circulates about public speaking. Due to the emotionally charged experience public speaking provokes, when people I meet learn about my passion for all things public speaking, they are intrigued and excited to share their experience with me! Typically, they begin by talking about what happened in their public speaking course or the specifics of a particularly challenging speech they delivered. Their experience tends to lie on one end of the spectrum or the other. Either they delivered an amazing speech that shocked them and their audience, or they were traumatized by the event, considering it one of the more horrific experiences of their lives.
The conversation is rarely complete without hearing their favorite anecdote to triumph over fear, assured that this too is in my repertoire of tricks. Unfortunately, the majority of the tips and suggestions they offer, do not help at all! In some cases, they can actually hinder a presentation. If you want to enjoy the many benefits mastering public speaking can offer, you must use the right tools. Let’s begin by debunking some common myths.
Part 1: 12 Public Speaking Myths Debunked
Given the psychological and physical anxiety public speaking can cause, it is no wonder people grasp at age old remedies and suggestions that have virtually become urban legends. Often these “simple” suggestions can actually thwart your ability to connect with your audience and even interfere with the speech. Let’s review some common ideas about improving your performance and see if you can distinguish fact from fiction!
Interaction 2.1: Myth or Fact
Mark each box: ‘M’ for Myth if you think the myth has merit, and ‘F’ for Fact if you think it doesn’t.
_____ 1. Imagine the audience naked or in their underwear.
_____ 2. Avoid eye contact—focus at a point above the audiences heads.
_____ 3. Begin with a joke.
_____ 4. Too much rehearsal is bad for me—I’m better just speaking off the cuff.
_____ 5. Just go straight for the Q & A.
_____ 6. You are born with the talent of public speaking—you cannot learn it.
_____ 7. Memorize your speech.
_____ 8. Shut off the lights to show an electronic presentation.
_____ 9. Being a good public speaker involves eliminating nervousness.
_____ 10. A mistake will destroy the speech.
_____ 11. Hide behind the lectern.
_____ 12. My experience trumps credible sources.
Myth #1: Imagine the audience naked or in their underwear.
If you actually follow through with this, be wary. It can go one of two ways: there are some people we just don’t want to imagine this way and others we do! Either way the images will undoubtedly distract you from your message—how can you be caring about the audience “getting” your message while thinking such thoughts? Besides, it is rude, and disrespectful. Your unsuspecting audience came to hear your speech, not to be undressed. Don’t be a pervert!
Myth #2: Avoid eye contact—focus at a point above the audience’s heads.
This is some of the worst advice I have ever heard. If you want your message to connect with the audience—look at your audience. If you look over their heads, they’ll know it. You are not going to “get one over” on them. Could you imagine going on a date where your date continually looked over your head, avoiding your eyes for the entire evening? How would you feel? An audience, especially between 10-100 people can tell. Eye contact is a crucial point of connection with your audience. Capitalize on it—don’t abandon it! Furthermore, if you really care about the audience getting your message, you want to be able to “see” that happening. Besides, when you make eye contact with a person, you are talking one-on-one, which will lower your anxiety. Just be sure to move from one person to another: don’t give your entire speech to just one person.
As a speech coach, some clients actually focus their eye contact only on me, perhaps because they see me as their evaluator. That’s awkward and uncomfortable for me. Eventually, I refuse to look up because I begin to feel stalked. The other audience members feel abandoned and ignored too. If you have a person in the audience who is evaluating you, a boss or an instructor, don’t stalk him or her— appreciate each audience member equally.
Myth #3: Begin with a joke.
Careful, careful, careful! When it comes to an audience, or even interpersonally, jokes can be a loaded gun. Fire them with extreme caution—and when it comes to speaking publicly, it just might be safer to keep them under lock and key. Humor is a very personal thing and differs from person to person. Successful business executives often begin a speech with the joke of the day, which is has no bearing on the purpose of their speech. Their audience will probably laugh, even when they don’t find it funny. More likely, they will laugh because he’s the boss. Social guidelines dictate that one should laugh to help the boss save face! Many jokes commonly used by managers and bosses around the world serve to disenfranchise workers, not empower them, something you want to avoid. Never include jokes that don’t connect to your message and purpose. Poking fun at yourself can sometimes be okay, but leave the “jokes-for-joke’s sake” out!
Myth #4: Too much rehearsal is bad for me—I’m better just speaking off the cuff.
Practice. Practice. Practice. In all my years of teaching, I have never seen an instance where too much rehearsal ruined a speech. I have seen people try to “wing” it, arguing that if they actually plan and practice the entire speech, “they” disintegrate. This statement simply doesn’t make sense. Imagine a builder stating, “If I use architectural drawings, the building will implode. I know it works for other builders, but me?—I’m better off just swinging the hammer and seeing where it takes me!” This idea is just laziness, pure and simple.
There are people who turn the speech into a performance—there is a difference! Memorization can lead to a performance-based speech. When and if they forget a word or think they forgot a word, those speakers are rattled and lose momentum. It can be difficult to get back on track.
During a speech, the speaker should be engaged in a conversation with the audience, rather than conducting a performance for the audience. A speech is more personal than a performance. And guess what? A mistake is OK. Cue cards with key words provide momentary direction if necessary. But most importantly, in a speech, the impact your words have on a particular audience matters most.
Make no mistake, whether a well-prepared speaker or an unprepared one—the audience sees you at face value and will discern the difference. When you invite an audience to your “word party,” prepare to serve them consciously combined, selected words that deliver a strong message.
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. – Helen Keller
Myth #5: Just go straight for the Questions and Answers.
While not every scenario allows for this mindset, some subject matter experts feel like they should just open themselves to the audience and allow questions to flow. They will just respond “off the cuff” to questions posed and . . . ”Voila” . . . a speech is born. While many speaking situations warrant a question and answer session following your remarks, it is best to meet the expectations of the people who offered you the opportunity to address this group and the audience members themselves. Once the audience hears your points, they can direct their questions to the purpose at hand.
Myth #6: You are born with the talent of public speaking—you cannot learn it.
It is remarkable how many people really believe that speakers are born with a special talent. Many honestly believe that people who convey their ideas with ease do not, or have not, felt the angst that the rest of us do. This is a limiting thought—release it! I’ll never forget one of my first speeches. I got up with hands shaking and papers fluttering. Somehow, I made it through, but I desperately battled to keep the papers still—I clutched them with one hand only to hear the papers rattling in the air. When I desperately grasped the other side of the papers to silence them, both hands bumped around like I was driving down a pothole-ravaged dirt road. After I completed my speech and sat down, my speech coach, Broadway Joe, stated, “Good job! We could have even danced to the rhythm of your knees knocking!” With practice and effort, I learned to channel my energy to connect with my audience. While some do experience greater degrees of anxiety than others, the skill of public speaking is developed with focus and effort—it is up to you to invest that effort. Think about it: if Helen Keller, a woman who, despite losing her ability to see and hear, was able to overcome insurmountable obstacles and actually deliver dynamic speeches that resonated with audiences, so can you! Let her words inspire you! “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”
Myth #7: Memorize your speech.
When you focus on visual memories, you look up and to the right (Gompel, et. al., 2007). The resulting loss of eye contact connected with delivering a memorized speech can impair connection with the audience. Experienced speakers delivering memorized speeches may seem too rehearsed, too perfect. The speech turns into a performance. Less experienced ones may look a bit crazy, as if they were listening to the voices in their head. In either situation, the speaker loses connection with the audience, especially when they lose eye contact as they try to “remember.” You may seem to be showing off . . . “Look at me, see how much I remember!” That has nothing to do with communicating your message to your audience.
Myth #8: Shut off the lights to display slides.
If you turn the lights off in a room to display slides, what happens to the audience’s attention? It focuses on the bright image. What happens if you turn the lights half off to make the slides brighter? The energy of the room decreases and the audience’s attention goes to the slides. As a speaker who has an important message to deliver to an audience, where do you want their attention? On you!
Visual presentations, such as a PowerPoint, are there to support you, not take center stage! Too often people dim the lights as a prerequisite for presenting their slides. Think about the impact it has upon the audience. Sometimes the lights are automatically dimmed “to help the audience see” but some speakers like the lights off so that they don’t have to see the audience —they can hide in the dark!
A speech is not a game of hide-and-go seek. Don’t allow yourself to hide in the darkness; you will lose way too much of your ability to connect with the audience. Dimming the lights significantly dulls energy in the room. Don’t surrender your ability to connect with your audience to technology. If you must turn the lights off to show an image, turn them back on as soon as possible and reclaim the stage. That doesn’t mean you should avoid slides. They can be a great help to a speech. To ensure your audience can see them with the lights on, choose a light background and dark text. Most projectors today are strong enough that the audience can usually see such screen content with the lights on.
The Occupational Safety and Health Administration, (OSHA) regulation CFR 1915.18 and 1926.56 outline the workplace standards for lighting. Lighting has a huge impact on individuals and productivity in the workplace. Your presentation should adapt the minimum standards a productive workspace requires, which means leave the lights on when you are speaking to an audience!
Myth #9: Being a good public speaker involves eliminating nervousness.
There are psychological and physiological reasons our bodies react to public speaking by producing adrenaline. These evolutionary functions are not going to disappear just because you deliver a few speeches. We can harness this energy and use it to our benefit. The night before I begin a new class, speak to a new audience, or have the opportunity to share my ideas to a group, I always sleep restlessly. This is evidence of the fact that I care and that performance energy surges through my body. Why would I want to eliminate or lose that enthusiasm? Don’t expect it to evaporate.
Your nervousness is a source of tremendous power. Later in this book, you will learn how to channel your anxiety to enhance connection with your audience, thus empowering you as a speaker. Use it; don’t lose it!
Myth #10: A mistake will destroy the speech.
Don’t dwell on your mistakes. Fix it, if necessary, and then move on. Mistakes happen—we’re human. Your mistake will only make you seem more so, and the audience may even better relate to you. Consider this, if you walk down the street, stumble and trip, do you go back and re-walk the block? No! Just keep walking, in a few steps you will find your equilibrium. If you falter momentarily in a speech, don’t stress . . . just keep going.
Should you apologize to your audience if you make a mistake? Only if you need to! In my estimation, more than three quarters of the time it is unnecessary. What does the word “apology” mean? “A regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure,” Merriam-Webster (2017) states. Does stumbling over a word require an apology? Is retracting a statement or adding an example after you started a sentence really “an offense or failure”? If a situation causes confusion, for example, distributing the wrong handout, or mixing up your slides, perhaps a small apology is warranted. Just remember that an apology shines a glaring light on the mistake! Too often speakers apologize when most of the audience never even realized anything had gone wrong. That’s like me telling you, “Guess what? This morning when I woke up, I had a huge zit on my chin.” What is the first thing you’d do? Look for the zit! Most apologies in speeches amount to the same thing—they draw attention to a flaw that might have gone unnoticed. Repeated apologies scream of a lack of confidence. Secure confident people only apologize when necessary.
Myth #11: Hide behind the lectern.
This is one of my pet peeves. Why, when you are trying to connect with an audience, would you hide behind a lectern? Whenever possible, step out from behind the lecture, roll up your sleeves, and get real with the audience. Your body language speaks volumes! Use it to express yourself. Rather than staying in one place, move around from one side of the audience to the other. Use your movements to make your message more interesting.
In some scenarios, etiquette does call for a more formal presentation behind a lectern, but dynamic speakers do not use the lectern as a crutch.
Myth #12: My experience trumps credible sources.
Good, credible research reflects positively upon you, no matter how much of an expert you are in the field. Providing support for your ideas and claims adds credibility to your message. Good quotes from famous people add value. Listen to the speeches of well-respected individuals; they are not afraid to drop a name or a quote or good evidence.
Speakers who lack credibility tend to overvalue their ideas and skip the work necessary to support their ideas. Quality research takes time and effort. Your audience deserves to have a presentation filled with current, relevant, accurate information.
When you include a citation, always provide context explaining who the person or organization is and why their input matters. There is a tremendous amount of available information on the Internet, and quality varies, so validate accuracy before you present material to an audience.
Part 2: Five Tips to Reduce Your Fear
Remember, the anxiety associated with public speaking is natural—and can be a boon. You want to plug into the excess energy that develops from your innate self-consciousness and fear. Essentially, turn lemons into lemonade. This energy, these excess “nerves,”, breathe life into your delivery.
Why should a speaker harness this energy as a source of power for their words? Consider why people spend exorbitant sums of money to see a musician live in concert, purchase season tickets to see a sports team compete, attend a theatrical performance, or stand outside in the freezing cold for hours to see a President inaugurated. It’s because it is real, live, and full of energy! It is different than seeing it through the lens of a camera. A speech is also real, live, and vibrating with energy.
How can you use this energy positively? It begins by reining it in and learning how to control it. That takes practice! Putting yourself on stage. It’s a lot like entering a gym after not working out for ages. For me, those first few times were nerve-wracking. Everybody seemed to know what they were doing and how each machine worked. I carefully observed others, trying not to look like a novice. I would eyeball people across from me and watch how they handled equipment, then follow their example. For the next few days, my muscles were so sore! But with diligence, focus, and practice, newbies now stare at me, for I now look experienced.
When was the last time you entered a speech gymnasium? Completed a workout designed to improve your communication skills? If you are like most individuals, probably not recently! No wonder it seems foreign, scary, and maybe bizarre to stand before an audience. Just like the gym scenario, with practice, hard work, and dedication, you can improve, and soon look like a pro! Stick to a routine, push yourself to try the different tools available, and you will stretch muscles you didn’t even know you had. You will develop a presenter’s form and shape worthy of admiration.
Perhaps you are still cringing at the thought of standing before an audience. Here are five tips that are sure to reduce your anxiety.
The expert in anything was once a beginner. – Helen Hayes
Tip 1: Visualize: Imagine Yourself Nailing the Speech!
You can improve your performance by improving your visualization skills. Visualize yourself confidently delivering the speech, the audience applauding—really create the experience in your imagination. This technique was first used by athletes in the 1960s. Scientific research begun in 1984 by the Russians during the Olympics (Ayers, 1988 & 2009), verified that it helps athletes reach peak performance. If it can work for athletes do you think this can help you improve as a speaker? This technique goes beyond simple visualizing, it involves anticipating the smell, the sounds, and the energy pulsing through your veins—experiencing the speech as fully as possible while you practice. Christopher Clarey from the NY Times explains how “Olympians Use Imagery as Mental Training.” It turns out that this technique is not only good for athletes. Ayres and Hoft (2009) found it works to reduce speech anxiety too.
Tip 2: Use Your Breath to Control Your Nerves
It is critical to breathe. Breathe deeply. Breathe consciously. When you control your breath, you can better control your nervous energy. If you control your nervous energy you can control the pace of your speech, add emphasis, and project your voice. If you can control your voice, you can control your body language, hand gestures, and eye contact. If you can control your breath, voice, and body, you control your delivery. Harvard Health recently published a report entitled, “Relaxation Techniques: Breath Control Helps Quell Errant Stress Response” (2015). The report is readily available on the Internet and provides a guide to invoke the relaxation response when nerves surface. If you are one who experiences high levels of anxiety, the article teaches the basics of deep breathing which you can use to manage the stress and anxiety you feel delivering a speech.
All speakers can benefit from taking three deep breaths (long in, long out) when they feel tense or nervous. Notice how your shoulders come up and your muscles relax. Take three deep breaths just before you start your speech and maybe again when you finish.
Tip 3: Think Positively
Believe that your content matters! Rather than feeding negative thoughts, focus on the positive. Look at yourself and say, “I’m going to do a great job on this speech!” or “My audience really appreciated my message” or “I stood before the audience confidently, clearly projected my words with excellent emphasis and used my body to convey my emotions.” Think positively—it sure beats the negative mantra. Joe Ayres (2009) conducted two studies, each found that speech anxiety correlates to negative thoughts and that students who used positive thoughts and visualized their success decreased their anxiety and improved their attitude about the experience. Isn’t that a better alternative to a negative implosion of self-doubt culminating in crippling anxiety? Get in the habit of squashing negative thoughts like cockroaches. Current research supports the notion that our thoughts really matter. James Clear (2013) provides a general overview outlining its significance as related to various research studies in his article, “The Science of Positive Thinking: How Positive Thoughts Build Your Skills, Boost Your Health, and Improve Your Work.” Industrialist Henry Ford got it right when he said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
Tip 4: Practice Power Poses
Amy Cuddy’s (2012) research on body language (How body language shapes who you are) and her suggestions to use power poses to increase your confidence has hit the list of the Top 10 TED videos of all time. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s fascinating. Her research shows that practicing power poses for just two minutes a day can make you more confident and help you perform better on a given task. Practice standing in a power pose before you deliver a speech. Watch the difference in your confidence as you deliver! Internationally known CEO Coach and Consultant, Somers White states “90% of how a talk will go is determined before the speaker steps on the platform.” How you hold yourself, the image you project, matters to both you and your audience.
Tip 5: Dress Professionally
As a speaker, you are the leader—look like a leader! Remember the significance of first impressions. Make the right first impression! Your appearance adds credibility to your message. When you decide what to wear, consider the event itself. The dress code at a wedding is a bit different from a funeral and much different than addressing a group of business colleagues. For business, always follow the rules of professional business attire—what you would wear for an interview. Sometimes people, especially young ones, put on what they wear to go out on the town. There is a time and place for most everything, but avoid the “sex pot” look in front of an audience. Dress conservatively, even if it is painful for you and not your style. You don’t want to distract from your message.
One memorable student delivered a speech by Franklin D. Roosevelt, “A Date Which Will Live in Infamy!” He delivered it with flair, wearing a t-shirt that displayed a picture of a dachshund dog with a kippah on its head and text that read, “My wiener is kosher.” Now what do you think the audience was thinking as he eloquently delivered his speech?
A young woman in one class provides an example of the perils of party garb. When she stood up, I could literally see her underwear! That childhood chant, “I see London, I see France . . .” looped through my head, although I can’t speak for the rest of the audience. During a speech you want the focus to be on the message, not your clothing, or what is or isn’t, underneath!
You never have a second chance to make a great first impression. — Will Rogers
Table 2.1: Professional Attire Guidelines
|
Women |
Men |
|
Business Suit Dark solid or pinstripe, preferably navy, dark brown, gray or charcoal. (Skirts should touch your knee! Avoid deep slits or short skirts.) |
Business Suit Dark solid or pinstripe, preferably navy, dark brown, gray or charcoal. No wrinkles and clean of course! |
|
Shirt Solid white or soft pastel. Avoid the urge to reveal some cleavage—keep those sisters covered! No sheer material or gaping at the button holes! |
Shirt Solid white or pale blue/cotton. Avoid two-tone shirts that have a different color collar than the rest of the shirt. |
|
Hose Rule of thumb is to wear natural-colored sheer panty hose, especially if you are wearing a skirt. With slacks, solid or sheer natural both work. |
Ties Conservative, medium width. Avoid extra-wide ties, or thin, narrow ties or holiday or novelty ties. |
|
Shoes Low or medium pumps, closed toe and heel. Solid color or a soft-grained pattern that match suit. |
Shoes Loafer or lace up, conservative, well shined. |
|
Accessories All jewelry should be conservative, understated and match the suit. Earring/necklace/pendant no larger than a dime. Stick with stud earrings, not dangling ones. Simple, small necklace, but avoid messages (i.e. “LOVE”). |
Socks Solid color matches suit, half calf. |
|
Grooming Shower, hair should be well groomed and neat. Makeup should compliment your complexion not create a new one! Avoid the night out-on-the-town look. Less is more. Remove piercings. |
Grooming Your appearance should be as important as your clothes. Shave, shower, remove piercings, and control your hair. |
Dressing professionally not only has an impact on what others think of you but also how you view yourself (O’Callaghan, J. (2014). Your clothes matter, they contribute to your credibility and confidence. Karen Pine (2014) found that “clothing has a significant effect on self-esteem and confidence.” We not only are what we wear, but we also become what we wear. “Clothing affects our mental processes and perceptions, which can change our minds and the way we think,” she continues (Pine, 2014). If you want to be a confident public speaker, look confident!
In today’s society, many people balk at professional dress code standards and resist putting on a suit. Let’s face it, when you are unaccustomed to dressing professionally, it takes effort to do so, and you feel like a fish out of water in unfamiliar attire. Pine (2014) found that the majority of people put on a suit to gain confidence rather than to be attractive. Your effort shows the audience that you care—it reveals the same to yourself. This builds your confidence, and in return, your audience will feel that perceptive edge and incline their ear to your message.
Each of these techniques are great things to do—implement them into your practice and see which ones work best for you.
Interaction 2.2: Which of These Five Tips Will Be Most Beneficial to You?
Number these five techniques from most beneficial to least.
_______ Imagine Yourself Nailing the Speech!
_______ Use Your Breath to Control Your Nerves
_______ Think Positively
_______ Practice Power Poses
_______ Dress Professionally
Part 3: Practice Matters
Practicing really does matter (Daly et. al. 1989; Menzel & Carrell, 1994 & O’Hair et al, 2001). How should you practice? A good practice strategy can make a big difference. These two components need to be addressed as you design your best practice: 1. Incorporate the steps for deliberate practice, and 2. Apply five Practice Tactics to deliver your best speech.
Deliberate Practice
Have you ever considered what your practice habits are? I recently had the opportunity to hear Angela Duckworth speak. As the director of the Character Lab, Duckworth studies the science of success. Her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance (2016) instantly became a New York Times best seller. It seems that people are vitally interested in learning “the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent but a special blend of passion and persistence called ‘grit’.”
One of the things that stood out to me the most in her speech was her research on practice. She explained that there are different types of practice. Deliberate practice is by far the most beneficial. This structured way of practicing with the intent to improve was first explored by Ericsson, Krampe & Tesch-Romer in 1993. They proposed that a long period of deliberate practice contributes more to success rather than innate ability, or “talent.” Ayers & Holf (2009) later found that “it is not the amount of preparation but rather the type of preparation that makes a difference.” How people practice in any field and at any level varies, but it always involves negotiating motivational and external constraints. It makes sense that “practicing more intensively than others” leads to personal triumph. If you have committed to conquering your fear, why not make the most of your practice? Practice with intent and follow what Duckworth (2011) refers to as the “cycle of genius” by implementing these four steps.
How to Establish a Deliberate Practice
1. Set an intentional “stretch” goal. Which means, to target a specific area in which you want to improve. Identify measurable improvement points along the way. Each time you practice, “stretch” yourself to reach that next point. Be sure that your practice supports your efforts to improve to that point. Evaluate your progress.
2. Focus 100%! Eliminate any distractions. It is necessary to hit a deep level of focus. This is a huge challenge in today’s society with the constant interruptions of our cell phones and social media.
3. Get feedback! The feedback should be immediate and of high quality. Top athletes or performers get feedback that occurs on the spot. The feedback needs to be from qualified experts.
4. Reflect and refine. Duckworth explains that this step is the hardest. You must have the courage to receive feedback without being defensive.
Interaction 2.3: Quality Practice
Researchers studied each of the items listed below to identify which could predict the best speech performance. Check each one that you think proved to work.
_______ cue cards
_______ visual aids
_______ state anxiety
_______ silent rehearsal
_______ total preparation time
_______ oral rehearsal
_______ other research
_______ grade point average
_______ number of rehearsals for an audience
Answer: Any of these attributes can predict success. Total preparation time, number of rehearsals for an audience, grade point average, and state anxiety predicted the quality of a speech performance. Menzel and Carrell (1994).
Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good. — Malcolm Gladwell
Five Steps to Practice a Speech
Step 1. Familiarize yourself with the words of the speech.
Read the speech aloud 5-10 times to get familiar with the words. This is one of the most productive strategies you can use. Imagine that you take a short cut every day by walking through the grass. How long does it take a footpath to form? Do the same thing to your brain—form a groove so that when you stand in front of the audience your mouth will naturally utter the words you have practiced.
Step 2. Choose the right inflection and emotion.
Try this exercise: take the words, “Are you ready.” These three words can be said an infinite number of ways. Say this phrase using the following emotions: angry, resentful, terrified, forgiving, sad, excited, free, suspicious, and sexy. For each emotion, imagine how your favorite actor would deliver the phrase and what would change for each emotion. No doubt, the volume, the pace, the body language, and even the breath would vary for each different emotion. Try to act each emotion with these three words! When you practice a speech, be aware that there is an entire range of emotions you can use, each containing fluctuations and pauses that convey different meanings. Identify three ways you could say your first sentence—record yourself on your phone and/or ask for an opinion from someone else in order to identify which works best. By doing this, you choose how you will deliver your words rather than the delivery just happening to you. Apply this technique to different sections of the speech, especially the most important ones.
Step 3. Identify key words you will emphasize.
Review your speech; underline the words that need to “pop”. Always emphasize four types of words: numbers, conjunctions, pronouns, and adjectives. Each time I see a number, conjunction, pronoun, or adjective, I let my vocal inflection vary—the pitch will melodically go up and down, speed up and slow down like a little roller coaster ride.
Step 4. Focus on the beginning of your speech.
Know your first line flawlessly! Your first line should not be too long or contain complex words that are difficult to pronounce. Make the words matter. Never begin with a “Hi, my name is.” Or “How’s everyone doing today?” And especially not “Today I’m here to talk with you about. . .” Begin with an Attention Grabber and complete control of your voice, words and body as you deliver those first words.
Step 5. Practice in front of an audience.
Numerous research studies have shown that delivering your speech to a practice audience improves the delivery of your speech with the real audience (Smith & Frymier, 2007; Verderber & Verderber, 2002). The practice delivery removes much of the system shocking elements of delivering a speech.
As you build your confidence and conquer your fear of speaking, begin with simple, small speeches that are fun and non-threatening. Put yourself into it. Planning cool things to do with the audience like using an interesting prop or including an activity that creatively involves them can add excitement to your speech and inspire you to actually anticipate the delivery. Eventually, with the right preparation and focus (discussed below) this anxiety will transform into energy that empowers your words! Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton said, “If you’re not comfortable with public speaking—and nobody starts out comfortable; you have to learn how to be comfortable—practice. I cannot overstate the importance of practicing. Get some close friends or family members to help evaluate you, or somebody at work that you trust.”
Part 4: The Ultimate Secret
Get Over Yourself!
By now, if you have followed the tips, techniques and strategies outlined in this chapter, you should feel confident that you have acquired useful information to support your efforts to conquer your fear, reduce anxiety, and develop a deliberate practice to quickly improve.
However, there is one last thing you must do that makes all the difference. I refer to this as the Ultimate Secret to overcoming your fear and anxiety. Are you ready? Before you deliver a speech, what is the conversation you must have with yourself? Does it go something like this? “I’m so nervous! I am so nervous! I am so nervous! What will they think of me? I’m so nervous! I am so nervous! I am so nervous! What if I make a mistake? I am so nervous! I am so nervous! I am so nervous! Can’t I please escape?”
If this is familiar, my advice to you is get over yourself! Focus more on the audience than you do your own nerves. Easier said than done, you may think. But consider this question, if your mind is focusing on you and your nerves . . . who is thinking about the audience? No one! They are abandoned and ignored.
Isn’t the whole purpose of the speech to share an important idea with the attendees? If you myopically focus on your stress, it becomes a slippery slope. The more you obsess, the more you obsess. Unfortunately, the audience is left to suffer and witness a bundle of nerves rather than hearing poignant points from a competent speaker. The good news is you can overcome anxiety; your focus must change from yourself to the audience, inward to outward. This is what I refer to as the ultimate secret to overcoming your fear and anxiety!
Here is the pre-speech self-talk for someone who has applied the secret. “I am nervous . . . but this information is really going to benefit my audience. (Envision audience.) I wonder who is going to attend? Who will benefit the most from point three? Geez, after all my practice, I can’t wait to see that role-play work. I’ve got to remember to call on one person who looks really interested and another who is a bit shyer.”
Can you see by the emphasis shifting from self to the audience? The energy completely shifts, leaving room for you to manage your anxiety and focus on your message.
Examine the diagram in Figure 2.1 representing a very basic model of communication: the speaker, the message, the audience. When you give a speech, how much of the focus do you believe should be focused on each of these variables? The speaker? The message? The audience?
Figure 2.1: Model of Communication
While there isn’t a scientific answer supporting exact values for each, common sense dictates that the focus should be on the audience rather than the speaker. Too often, this is not the case—the speech is an egocentric obsession rather than audience-centered presentation. Make no mistake: you cannot take the speaker out of the formula. The speaker is a vital part of the speech but never forget it is all for and about the audience. Care more about the audience receiving your message than about your own nerves. It is that simple.
When a parent who typically faints at the sight of blood runs to save his or her injured child, they don’t faint! Especially if there is no one else around. In that moment, the parent cares more for the child’s safety than their own phobias. Care about your audience. Care more about your audience receiving the message than your fear of delivering it to them! By caring, you will get over your nerves and deliver a message that connects with your audience. Stop focusing on what they think about you; just think about them. Dale Carnegie’s quote substantiates this idea, he says, “You can close more business in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.”
Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less. — C.S. Lewis
Part 5: Believe You Can!
You may be thinking, is it worth the effort? Absolutely! The benefits are far reaching! As you build this skill set, you may also develop in other areas. When I first began coaching public speaking, I was unaware of the wide-spread effects that would occur. I soon saw the personal growth individuals experienced as they faced their own anxiety and found their voices. With effort and focus, improvement was clearly evident; they stood taller and walked with more confidence.
Before long, numerous clients received raises at work and unsolicited compliments on their communication skills—leaders emerged. James Humes said, “The art of communication is the language of leadership.” Did you know that many people promoted to a leadership position are advised to take a public speaking course? Public speaking is arguably the most challenging form of communication. If you can master the art of communicating to a group of 20 people effectively, you can better deal with two people or even yourself.
Believe that you can do it! Cartoonist and creator of Dilbert, Scott Adams, addressed the insecurity beginning speakers feel. He said, “We don’t always have an accurate view of our own potential. I think most people who are frightened of public speaking can’t imagine training could help them feel different. Don’t assume you know how much potential you have. Sometimes the only way to know what you can do is to test yourself.” Remember Anais Lin’s words, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to your courage.” Summon the courage to conquer your fear. Examine your presentational strengths and weaknesses and employ the various tips and strategies outlined in this chapter to manage these for personal benefit. As a result, you will become a better communicator, which will accentuate your life in many positive ways. Being “speech-actualized” can transform your life! It is well worth the effort.
When people take that first step and commit to the process, personal growth is soon evident. Angela Duckworth explains that talent plus effort equals skill. Skill plus effort equals achievement. Effort counts twice! Push past your comfort zone because as author Neale Donald Walsch explains, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. — Amelia Earhart