Chapter 12

His heart-wrenching confession took Jocelyn by surprise. As his eyes continued to bore into hers, her heart skipped several beats. Was he being truthful? She wanted to believe he was. Maybe it was the way he stared at her, consuming her like nothing else mattered, like she was the center of his universe.

She wanted to believe he was sorry and that she excited him. It would comfort her knowing he was as drawn to her as she was to him. But were the words he spoke true?

He pulled her a touch closer, his body rubbing close to her own. She felt every muscle on his chest and his heat, the warmth from his body soothing her. Her eyes settled on his lips, and she imagined what would happen if he kissed her again? What would she do? She was supposed to be angry with him, but the reason was beyond her grasp.

“Baby?”

The endearment caught her off guard, and her eyes drifted to his again. She fought to catch her breath as his gaze enveloped her. If she waited any longer, his scent would once again devour her. What was he waiting for, a response? What was she supposed to say? Did he ask a question? She couldn’t remember. All she wanted now was a kiss. Just one mind blowing, gut wrenching, searing kiss.

“What?” she mumbled, merely a gasp.

“Please forgive me. I’m an idiot. I never meant to hurt you, and it’s killing me that I have.”

He spoke the words; she decided she believed him. She searched for her own words, to find her voice, but like her will around this werewolf, they disappeared the second his body touched hers. She fought off panic, until the words formed. “I…forgive you.”

“I’ll never do that again. I promise.”

A promise from his lips. What did he promise? She could barely recall, to never hurt her or to never act as he had? Her thoughts were scattered, blurry, and unreliable. Until the werewolf released her, she feared she wouldn’t be able to make much sense even to herself. How could this man possibly have this effect on her? She finally found courage and pulled away from him. She ached now, bereft without the heat of his body.

“I have to get this finished before I train,” she blurted, then forced herself to tear her gaze from him and continue her task.

Finally he left, and she was alone with her thoughts. He was her mate, she was now convinced. There was no other explanation for her desire for him, his effect on her, or why she had suddenly decided to forgive him.

Without his body grazing her, she suddenly recalled how angry she had been earlier. His actions made her feel manipulated, owned. She’d been incensed, then quickly it grew to anguish and sorrow. Why else would she have felt so upset? The only explanation: he was her mate and the thought of him manipulating her made her lose hope that they could work through their differences, get to know each other, and share a love like Jenna and Lucas.

This isn’t even what you wanted, she reminded herself.

It wasn’t what she wanted or needed, but it was how she felt. She had chosen to forgive him because all reason and logic were gone when the arrogant werewolf was in her presence. When his warmth consumed her and her body brushed against his, the desires and needs she chose to ignore were undeniable and unavoidable. Her body and heart spoke for her instead of logic because there was no logic with the wolf. No logic, no reason, no common sense, he ruled her like the moon ruled the oceans’ tides.

****

Jocelyn was the last to enter the large gymnasium. Spotting Cain waiting for her near the elevator, she relaxed, releasing a breath she’d held. Cain greeted her warmly, smiling as always. She stood in place for several seconds, attempting to stall and still on edge from her last encounter with the werewolf.

She shouldn’t be afraid in her own home, but she was because she’d come to the conclusion she was no longer in control. The wolf seemed to be in control of her. While she was still mildly in control of her mind, he controlled her body and heart. Cain nudged her forward, urging her to move. She complied moving at a slower pace than normal. She braced herself as she glanced around the room. She spotted Landon standing close to Olivia whispering in her ear. Benjamin and Jacob were positioned in the center of the room sword fighting or as they called it “training.” It’s all they ever did in their spare time. Lucas faced Jenna at the other end of the gym, their bodies pressed closely together. She assumed they wouldn’t be joining her for long. Lucas’s hands were roaming her sister’s back, and his eyes were enflamed, burning a deep red. He was aroused. She knew it because he was giving her sister that intense look, the same one he had every time he pulled Jenna out of the room with some lame excuse.

Get a room, she thought.

“We can start now,” Cain bellowed, attempting to distract Jenna and Lucas.

Lucas and Jenna turned to face her, not trying very hard to hide their disappointment at being interrupted. Jacob and Benjamin halted mid-fight and wandered toward the back end of the gym where they hung their swords.

Lucas cleared his throat, blinking several times. Jocelyn assumed he was trying to get the naughty images of her sister out of his mind.

“Let’s try attacking Jocelyn,” Lucas said.

Jocelyn positioned herself in the middle of the gymnasium as she mentally prepared herself for the attack. For the first time, she realized what she’d come here to do, train. Would she be able to conjure her powers? Worry pierced its way into her mind pushing aside thoughts of Landon.

Before Jocelyn managed to prepare herself, they attacked. Instinctively, she reacted, spreading her arms in front of herself as the wind pushed them back. Jenna conjured her own power of the wind, creating a blanket of air on the floor, cradling the others as they landed.

The demons and Landon attacked several times afterwards. Jocelyn managed to block their attempts to reach her every time. Sometimes using more force, other times using less.

****

After several hours passed, Landon grew tense watching the energy drain from Jocelyn. He tried to rein in his temper. He watched his female grow more exhausted; perspiration beaded on her forehead, chest, and arms making him wish he could put a stop to the session. But Jenna and Lucas continued to push her to use her power and control it for longer periods of time.

Jocelyn trained for four hours without so much as a water break, and she didn’t complain. He held his temper thanks to Olivia who kept nudging him in the stomach and giving him the evil eye. His tension subsided some when Jenna finally put an end to the session.

“I think that’s enough,” Jenna announced.

“Finally,” Landon muttered then addressed Jenna. “We should have stopped over an hour ago. Look at her,” he exclaimed.

“She needs to learn to use her powers whether she’s tired or not, Landon. It’s for her own safety,” Jenna said calmly.

Landon bit back a retort knowing Jenna had Jocelyn’s best interests at heart. He pondered whether it had been a good idea to volunteer to train her. He’d almost had a heart attack the day before when she fainted. Watching her exhaust herself was almost as bad.

“Let’s get some grub,” Cain said interrupting Landon’s thoughts.

****

Jocelyn’s hands and feet were wrinkled from the hot water she’d soaked in for the last hour hoping to sort out her feelings for Landon and wash away some of her exhaustion and the vacant feeling that now clung to her.

Landon and Olivia had left after her training. She watched him walk away with yearning. The minute he walked out of the building’s doors, she’d felt his presence vanish and a piece of herself as well. She made some lousy excuse to leave the others and rushed to check the security monitors in Lucas’s office. That’s when she realized that in fact he was truly gone, and she somehow felt the second he’d left. She had no idea how she’d done so, but it made it clearer that Landon was in fact her mate. The emptiness in her chest made her want to sulk around in her room.

When she’d rejoined her sister and the demons, they’d forced her to eat despite her claims she wasn’t hungry. She couldn’t explain her feelings and knew the demons and Jenna would sense the heaviness in her heart. She hoped to avoid any questions. Luckily, they hadn’t asked, but the fact they knew exactly how she felt bothered her. She didn’t want others to know the effect Landon had on her.

The hour of soaking did nothing to soothe her or sort out her feelings. Landon had been so close to her for the last couple of days, she now missed his presence terribly. She didn’t want to be mated but couldn’t stand to be away from the controlling wolf. She was in a predicament she feared she wouldn’t be able to handle.

Jocelyn stood from the now lukewarm water, grabbed a towel from the rack, and dried herself. She drained the tub and walked into her room hearing a light knock on her door.

“Joce.”

Recognizing her sister’s voice, she asked her to come in. Jenna walked in and sat at the edge of her bed.

“How are you?” Jenna asked.

“Fine,” she replied as she walked into her closet. Jenna followed her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, but I guess you will make me anyway, huh?” she said.

Jocelyn browsed through her clothes wondering exactly what she should wear to this impromptu party.

“You should at least tell me what’s bothering you. I take it Landon said something to upset you this morning. Olivia was pretty upset with him.”

Jocelyn spun quickly to face her sister. “He told you guys? Everyone knows?”

“No. That’s not what I said. He came into the dining room for breakfast and I guess...I don’t know exactly how they communicate because he didn’t say anything to her, but she knew exactly what happened, and she scolded him for it.”

“Oh…” she said relieved.

“He felt pretty bad about it. I don’t think he realized exactly why you were upset until she told him. Something about making you feel like property…”

“Yeah, something like that,” Jocelyn mumbled.

“I don’t want to intrude, but…”

“But you will anyway…” Jocelyn smirked teasing her sister.

“Come on. You know I only want what’s best for you. I just want you to know you can talk to me.”

“Jenna, I know I can talk to you, but the truth is, I haven’t even sorted this out myself. I didn’t want a mate. I just wanted my powers. I have no control for these feelings, and I don’t like it. It’s frustrating and…”

“I know.”

“Wait, you knew he was my mate?”

Jenna’s cheeks flushed. “Yes,” she admitted. “Lucas guessed when Landon came to talk to him.”

Jocelyn paused. Suddenly she didn’t know what to say. She realized if Lucas knew he figured it out by reading Landon’s emotions, which meant the other demons had probably come to the same conclusion. Everyone knew, and she had been last to figure it out.

“I know how you feel. Trust me.”

“No offense, Jenna, but I don’t think you do. You and Lucas were different. You fit together like halves to a whole. Landon and I don’t. He’s overwhelming, stubborn, and controlling! Just look at the way he treats his sister. Like she’s five instead of over a century old. I’m twenty-one. Can you imagine how much worse it will be?”

“I haven’t been around this fated mates thing for much longer than you, but I can tell you there’s always something couples need to work out. If you were paired together, it must be for a reason.”

“Another thing, he’s known this for how long? Three months? Until days ago, I hadn’t seen him for that long! He never told me. Lucas was at your side the minute he knew. For that alone, I don’t even think I want to give this a chance.”

“I thought you didn’t want to know,” Jenna reminded her.

“I didn’t. I don’t. I…”

“You’re confused. It’s normal. Just don’t overthink this. It will work itself out.”

Jenna turned to walk away, then turned back around pausing for a moment before saying, “You should wear the tight red dress with the tan stilettos.”

Seconds after Jenna departed, Jocelyn stood in her closet while her sister’s words replayed in her mind. She wanted to believe her “everything will work out,” but she had little faith it would.