After lunch the same day
Bleu stood on the path beside Bayou Teche, with St. Cecil’s behind her and the thick, chrome-green waters running glossy and slow, in front.
Spikes of pale purple flowers bobbed atop floating blankets of dark, waxy water hyacinth leaves. Beside her, an old willow trailed branches that jiggled with the current.
And the sun had grown as hot as promised. Her damp skin cooled with each tiny current of air.
If she closed her eyes, she saw pieces of her car shooting through flames, and the fireman, Kevin Rains, sprawled on the ground, covered with soot and not moving.
Running away was too easy. She loved life and wanted to love people. Even Michael hadn’t killed the best parts of her. Roche was her passion. He was also her pain, but she would not allow herself to withdraw, so that she would never know what might have been with the two of them. The two of them had already had too much, and she had come too far.
Her cheeks burned. Her body flushed.
Kevin Rains had suffered for trying to do a good deed. He had been about to wash her car. A kindness that sent him to the hospital. Roche had driven there with Bleu, where they’d been able to talk to Kevin almost immediately. Once his broken wrist mended and the burns on his neck healed, he would be fine. Still, guilt tormented Bleu.
“Don’t jump,” a male voice shouted.
Bleu turned to see Sam Bush pushing open the little gate at the bottom of the rectory garden. “Hi.” She shaded her eyes to watch him. He had been kind today, and concerned.
“You’ve been down here a long time,” he said. The white shirt and conservative gray slacks he almost always wore were evidently his nod to his profession.
“It’s calm here,” she said. “And beautiful.”
He grunted.
Alive, that was the first word that came to Bleu about Sam. Intelligent, interested, fit, vibrant and stubborn also came to mind. She smiled at him. “Say you aren’t on duty.”
“On duty?”
“Guarding me.”
He laughed, and she noticed for the first time that laughter didn’t erase the seriousness from his eyes.
“Well?” she pressed him.
“Give us all a break,” he said, pulling his shoulders up. “You can’t expect anyone to relax until this joker’s caught.”
“I guess not.” A twist in her stomach chased away a light moment. Once more she looked across the bayou. “Have you ever been in a pirogue?” The long, narrow wooden boats—their captain and crew, a single man or woman balanced on their feet and plying a long paddle to and fro—plied back and forth from swamp dwellings.
“Sure I have,” Sam said. “Lots of times. They look as if they belong in another century.”
“Mmm-hmm. Another world, really. You don’t need to babysit me.”
He stood beside her, his hands in his pockets. “Maybe it feels good to be needed.”
Bleu looked at him sharply. She didn’t know what to say.
Sam flashed her a smile. “Must be all this quiet, and the company of a lovely lady—I’m turning wistful. That, or I’m a lonely man.”
“Are you?” she said. She had never really thought much about him, other than that he was good at his job.
He shook his head. “Not really. But this isn’t about me. You and Roche are getting close, aren’t you?”
As if he hadn’t already witnessed the answer to that question today. “I like him very much.”
“Decent guy. Accomplished, too.”
“Yes. I know about your wife—how she left.”
The corner of his mouth turned down. “I wish that was history.”
“It will be in time.” With luck, all bad memories became history. “We get used to things and move on.”
“I intend to do that.” He focused too hard on a heaving bed of hyacinth.
Bleu swallowed. “Is something wrong?”
“No!”
Now he’d think she was prying. “I didn’t really think so.”
“How well do you know Madge?” he asked.
The question caught her off guard. She hadn’t missed his interest in her cousin. “She’s my favorite cousin.”
Sam slapped the heel of a hand into his brow. “What a dumb question. For a moment I forgot you were related. Forget I asked.”
“We spent a lot of time together when we were kids. I used to stay with her family on school vacations. She’s really special.”
“Yes.”
Bleu stuck her thumbs into the pockets of her tan pants. Saying nothing could make him awkward. On the other hand, anything she said could be wrong.
“I like Madge,” Sam said. “Looks as if I’ve waited too long to let her know how much.”
She waited for him to continue.
“She’s getting involved with Sig Smith, isn’t she?”
“I don’t know,” she told him honestly. “We haven’t talked about it.” All Bleu knew was that Madge and Sig had gone out.
“I’ve already said too much. Roche called Cyrus to make sure you were in someone’s sights.”
She stared at her pink toenails, visible in strappy brown sandals. For some reason, Roche really did care about her. Who knew how much, but it was time to learn to take good things in both hands without second-guessing what would come next. She’d try.
“Your front door’s being repaired,” Sam said. “But don’t be surprised if Madge and Cyrus keep pushing you to stay here. Don’t you think you should?”
“No. I’m grateful about the door, but it’s my job to learn to live alone.”
She felt his eyes on her.
“I mean, I’ve usually had people around me, but now I don’t and I like that.”
“If you say so.” He looked at his watch. “Madge said she and Cyrus are leaving for Kate Harper’s place shortly. I think they hope you’ll go with them.”
“I want to.” She put a hand on his arm. “Thanks for coming down, Sam. Are you coming out to Pappy’s for the fund drive?”
He raised an eyebrow.
Bleu laughed. “Did I call it a fund drive? I’m slipping. I meant for the information and commitment potluck.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” He got that distant air about him again. “We used to go out there and dance to the Swamp Doggies. Betty was some two-stepper.”
“I bet you’re good at it yourself,” she said quickly.
“Promise me a dance and I’ll show you,” he said.
“You’ve got it.” Movement caught her attention. “Madge is waving up there.”
Sam spun to look uphill, but he smoothed his expression rapidly and waved Bleu ahead of him.
“Hey,” Bleu shouted. “I’m coming.” She broke into a run and pounded through the garden until she arrived, panting, at the kitchen door.
“Cyrus and I are leaving for Kate Harper’s,” Madge said. “Do you still want to come?”
“Yes,” Bleu said. She turned as Sam arrived behind her. “Thanks for keeping me company.”
He shrugged, looking at Madge. “That woman’s had a hard time,” he said. “Kate, I mean. She and Jim were close for a long time. I hope Spike isn’t taking any notice of the kind of stuff Ozaire’s been spreading.”
Reading Madge’s expression wasn’t easy, not when she looked at Sam. “Spike’s a kind man,” she said. “And I guess his dad told Ozaire off. Said he’d lose his part-time job out at the station if he didn’t keep his mouth shut.”
Spike’s dad, Homer Devol, ran the gas station, convenience store and boat launch on the outskirts of Toussaint. Ozaire helped out part-time. Homer didn’t mince words or get shy about his opinions.
“That should help,” Sam said. “I’d better get back to my office.”
“Sure,” Madge said. “Come on, Bleu. Lil packed some cookies for us to take to Kate.”
Bleu heard Sam walking behind her. He left without another word. “Madge,” she whispered. “Say goodbye to Sam. He’s a good guy.”
“I know,” Madge said. She raised her voice. “Bye, Sam. Take it easy.”
He looked back at her, and she waved. Sam hesitated, raised a hand and walked on.
“I feel sorry for him,” Bleu said.
“He hasn’t had it easy,” Madge said. “But I…I hope he meets someone who can be what he needs.”
“And that isn’t you?”
“It isn’t,” Madge said. “I don’t think I can be what anyone needs.”
Before Bleu could respond, Madge had hurried into the kitchen. She picked up a basket lined and covered with blue-spotted white cloths. “Goodies for Kate,” she said. “We’ll let Cyrus know we’re ready to go. Roche called to check on you—again—and I told him we’d be gone for a couple of hours at the most.”
He should be concentrating on his patients, Bleu thought, but still she smiled.
In Madge’s comfortably worn office, where piano blues played loudly enough on the old sound system to be heard, but softly enough to allow conversation, Bleu went to the desk and checked to see if there was any mail for her.
“Five envelopes,” Madge said behind her. “Let me check on Cyrus while you open them. He’s writing his homily. You know how much he struggles not to let them get too long.”
Everyone knew.
Everyone knew Cyrus failed most of the time and rarely kept one of his passionate talks shorter than forty minutes.
While she waited, Bleu opened her mail. Five checks, four of them nice, and accompanied by friendly notes, and one large enough to make her eyes bug. That one was signed by Reb Girard, the town doctor. Reb’s family had lived in Toussaint just about forever. Her father had been the local doctor before her. Now she was married to childhood friend, Marc Girard, an architect, and they had two children. Money couldn’t be a problem, but the check still made Bleu want to sing and dance.
Instead, she flopped into Madge’s red-and-white-striped overstuffed chair and stretched out her legs. A horrible day was showing promise. Kevin Rains, despite taking the fall for her, would be at home by now—if he wasn’t back at the firehouse. Apparently the fire had caused damage no one saw until it was too late. Bleu doubted she’d ever get into another car with quite as much confidence again.
Her cell phone rang in her pocket and she pulled it out. “Hello.”
“It’s Roche.”
She hadn’t thought to check the readout. “Yes,” she said. Darn it anyway, why did she get tongue-tied around him? “I just got in some nice donation checks.”
“That’s great,” he said. “Bleu, you haven’t forgotten about tonight, have you?”
Tonight. “I might have to beg off and do some cleanup,” she said. She heard the wobble in her voice. “There’s a lot to be done. I’d be wrong if I didn’t look into making the place as safe as I can. Not that I think this person will strike in the same place twice.”
“Cleanup is a great idea,” he said. “I’ll bring my rubber gloves.”
It took her an instant to register what he’d said and laugh. “You’ve already done too much for me. Driving me around and everything.” She had yet to decide what to do about a car.
His voice lowered. “I couldn’t do too much for you. Don’t fight me on this. A promise is a promise and you said we had a date tonight. If we spend it washing walls, that’s good with me.”
She thought about it. Wanting to see him didn’t make it easier to be objective. “Okay. Thanks. I hope you’ve got an apron, too.”
“You’d be surprised what I’ve got,” he said.
Bleu didn’t pursue that. “I’ll see you later, then?”
“Later.” He was still on the line, listening, when she hung up softly.
Millie whipped from beneath the desk, for all the world as if she’d only just noticed Bleu’s presence, and leaped onto her lap. Two turnarounds and the sleek black-and-white fur ball settled in.
“You’ve got a real case on Roche.”
At the sound of Madge entering the room, Bleu craned to see over her shoulder. She was not comforted by the serious expression on her cousin’s face.
“He’s easy on the eyes,” Madge continued. She closed the door softly and went to lean against her desk. “Both of the Savage brothers are.”
“True,” Bleu said, as lightly as she could. “Is it just me or is it stuffy in here?”
Madge skirted the desk and opened a window. Nasturtiums bobbled their gold-and-copper heads, some slipping through the open crack as if trying to get inside.
For a moment, Madge stood there, gazing out and absentmindedly gripping the edge of the window frame.
“What’s the matter?” Tension got thicker by the second, and Bleu felt a little sick.
The lazy piano filled the silences between them. The dog lifted her head and looked from Bleu to Madge. Her nose twitched, but she sighed and closed her eyes.
“I’m going to get a dog as soon as I can,” Bleu said, making conversation. “I think it would be good company. I always had one as a kid.”
“I know,” Madge said. “Why wait? Get a good watch dog.”
“I intend to,” Bleu told her, more sharply than she intended. “I’ll have to wait a bit till I can afford it. Most of all, I want a good buddy. I don’t intend to spend a lot of time being scared.”
“You’re changing,” Madge said, quietly. “You’re not so gentle. Why is that?”
Was she being told off for trying to take command of her life? “I’m the same old Bleu, just older and wiser. Do you think I should have stayed beaten down and scared forever?”
“You know I don’t.” Madge sounded angry, but Bleu didn’t take it personally. Something was on Madge’s mind and it wasn’t whether or not Bleu was growing more independent. “Sorry. I’m a bit uptight. Cyrus will be a few more minutes, and I should say some things to you. I’ve already put them off too long.”
Bleu swallowed, but she made sure she looked interested and approachable. “Then don’t put them off any longer. We’ve always been able to talk to each other.”
“We haven’t spent a lot of adult time together. You know what I mean? I’m sure you’ve got your thoughts about the way I’m living my life. I know it’s not too tidy, but I’m doing my best.”
“I know you are,” Bleu said quietly. “You’re a special woman. You’ve always tried to do the best for everyone. I want things to work out for you—in the way you want them to work out. Do you like Sig Smith? You went out for dinner with him.”
Madge’s expression closed. “Yes. We had a pleasant evening. Thanks for asking.”
But I don’t want to talk about it? “I’m glad.”
“What do you know about Roche Savage?” Madge said.
Taken aback by the directness, Bleu gave herself time to think, time not to say what she might regret later. “I know what most people know,” she said. “And from my own experience, I think he’s pretty special.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.”
Bleu felt a little cold. She ran her fingers through Millie’s fur, and the dog all but purred.
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” Madge said. “All I’ve got is hearsay but not too much has been said to refute it.”
“You’re using big words. They make me nervous.”
Madge sunk her hands deep in the pockets of a pink check dress and pulled the tulip-shaped skirt tighter about her curvy hips. “I won’t win any prizes for diplomacy.”
Sweat formed on Bleu’s palms. “Just tell me what’s on your mind. You’re scaring me.”
“Shoot,” Madge said, with a lot of feeling. “Who knows how much is real and how much is just Lil gossiping? I’d almost forgotten about it.”
Bleu resisted the temptation to stand up. There was no need to be confrontational. “Why not tell me what you heard?”
“I shouldn’t have said anythin’.” Madge’s face flamed. “Be careful, that’s all. People can seem one way and be another.”
“Yes, they can. But you’re not going to leave me with that kind of hint.”
Madge puffed up her cheeks. She retrieved her dog and hugged the animal close. “Don’t you think Roche is a bit worldly for you?”
“Not that I’ve noticed.” Which wasn’t at all true. “You know I had a bad time when I was married. That was too worldly for me.”
Madge wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Michael was a criminal.”
“Yes. But before we knew that—”
“I meant the way he treated you was criminal.”
Bleu did stand up then. “It was, but I shouldn’t have told you about it. You don’t need to deal with my troubles.”
“Why?” Madge came closer. “We don’t have any other available family. I want to be here for you. I know you’d stand by me.”
“I would.” Bleu looked into Madge’s dark eyes and saw how troubled she was. “But there is something you’re worrying about—about Roche. Isn’t there?”
“He’s not your type.”
“Why?” Getting angry or defensive wouldn’t help anything. “I’m not his social equal, if that’s what you mean, but it doesn’t seem to bother him.”
“That’s not what I meant. He’s a lot more experienced than you.”
“How would you know?” The rising pitch of her own voice embarrassed Bleu. “You mean well, but you’re talking about things you can’t know. Is it because Roche and I come from such different backgrounds? I’m poor and he’s rich?”
“You weren’t always so poor. Michael did that to you. You know I don’t think about money, Bleu.”
“Have you ever thought you should spend more time thinking about yourself?” Bleu asked. “You could work on straightening out the mess you’re in and leave me to deal with my own life.”
“That’s mean,” Madge said. “You aren’t like that. It’s because you don’t feel good about yourself.”
Bleu resisted the temptation to snap back again. “You could be right. Let’s not talk about this anymore. You want the best for me. Thank you.”
“Has…” The flush that remained on Madge’s skin turned much darker. “Has he tried to…you know.”
“Why don’t you go ahead and ask what you want to know?”
Silence lengthened after that. Bleu could hear the beat of her own heart.
She jumped at the sound of a bird hitting the window. Millie gave a bark and the creature flew away again. Bleu rubbed her palms together. She was sweating.
“Something happened a couple of years back,” Madge said. She appeared close to tears. “Lil’s the one who saw it. A lot of strange things were happening, and she was out at night looking for something.”
“Saw what?” Bleu couldn’t smile or pretend anymore. “If you’ve got something to tell me, do it.”
“I only want you to be careful and—”
“Tell me!”
Setting Millie down, Madge took hold of one of Bleu’s hands. “I wasn’t there. I’m saying what I was told. Cyrus would hate it if he knew I was telling you, but you’re not his cousin.”
“I don’t think Cyrus would willingly let me be in danger,” she said.
“He wouldn’t. But sometimes he either doesn’t believe things, or doesn’t really hear them. This was out at the Green Veil clinic when it was just finished. Before Max started having patients there.”
“Okay.”
“It was at night. In the dark. Like I said, Lil was looking for something around Rosebank. Green Veil’s next door.”
“I know,” Bleu said quietly.
“The lights were all on at Green Veil, which was unusual then. Lil walked over that way and saw something.”
Bleu nodded.
“There’s a reception area in front. It’s big and the windows go all the way up to the first floor. Roche was with a woman in the foyer. He chased her and grabbed her.”
Nerves jumped in Bleu’s tummy. She had to listen, but she didn’t want to.
“That’s all,” Madge said, pushing her hair back. “He was a bit aggressive with her. So I want you to make sure you’re okay with him.”
Bleu stared at Madge. “That’s not all, is it?”
Slowly, Madge shook her head, no. “The woman’s clothes were torn.”
“Oh.” Bleu covered her mouth.
“Her skirts went up and she didn’t have anything on underneath. Lil said there was sex. And it was rough.”
If she could make this whole conversation go away, she would. Bleu took deep breaths. “Lil’s sure this was Roche? Who was the woman?”
Madge’s eyes slid away. “She isn’t around here anymore. I shouldn’t name names. All I can say is what Lil reckoned. She dramatizes, but I would be wrong not to say this. Bleu, she talked about rape.”