Michelle doesn’t answer my question. She just looks at me, then shifts her gaze to Elaine on the floor. Shit. Elaine. I turn around, offer her my hand. She allows me to help her to her feet.
‘I am so sorry, Elaine,’ I say. She keeps her gaze away from me as she steadies herself. What the fuck have I done? This young woman has done nothing but help me all morning.
‘What’s going on?’ Michelle finally pipes up. She removes her handbag from her shoulder, stares at me with wide eyes.
I hold my eyes tight closed for a few seconds, try to let everything wash over me.
‘Myself and Elaine here just had a little disagreement about how much time I’ve been spending on my phone; it’s nothing to worry about, Michelle.’
Elaine walks by me, heading for the doorway Michelle is standing in.
‘No, no… wait,’ I call out, holding a hand across her. ‘Please.’
She stands frozen. Then stares at my ex wife.
‘Gordon, let the nurse go,’ Michelle says.
I take my arm away, then clasp both of my palms together, as if I’m in prayer.
‘Elaine, Michelle… please,’ I beg. ‘Listen to me, both of you – I have something astonishing to tell you.’
Neither of them look at me, they’re too invested in each other’s faces; both of them wondering what the fuck I’m rambling on about.
‘Please,’ I beg again, ‘hear me out for two minutes.’
Michelle walks by both of us, places her handbag on the blue plastic chair and then sighs.
‘What have you got to tell us, Gordon?’ she says.
I look at Elaine, wait on her to turn around. She does. Slowly. I reach for the door, slap it closed, then make my way back towards my bed.
‘Just give me a sec,’ I say scratching at my temple. I want to get this out right but I have to let it all sink in. I perch on the side of my bed, then look up at both women. Michelle is a little drenched, her hair slightly matted to her shoulders, but she still looks good, still attractive. Even if there is strain splashed across her eye set. Elaine looks pained, disappointed. Disappointed in me, I guess. I need to speak up.
‘You’ll never guess what I’ve just heard,’ I say, then stop to gulp. ‘Guus Meyer – he took Betsy.’
I look down on the floor, afraid to witness the reaction of Michelle. I can sense her looking over at Elaine and rolling her eyes. But there’s silence. A very strange silence. As if I didn’t say anything at all.
‘I had a private investigator dig deep into Betsy’s disappearance and he found out that Guus was involved. He’s out in his house interviewing him now. I couldn’t just lie here and die without… without…’ I hold my hand up to my face, try to stop the tears from spilling out of my eyes, but it’s a hopeless task.
Elaine’s the first to react. She takes three steps towards me, places her hand on my shoulder and helps me to lie down flat on the bed. I use my feet to scoot myself backwards, so that I’m sitting up, my back against the bed rail.
I know Michelle is silent, but I can hear her thoughts. She thinks I’m a fucking madman. That I’m making this all up.
‘Gordon,’ Elaine whispers towards me, ‘I have to go now to speak with Mr Douglas about your surg—’
‘No, no,’ I say, panicking. I pinch at Elaine’s scrubs, hold her sleeve between my clenched fingers. ‘Please – you can’t do that. These surgeries have to go ahead. You can’t just let me die.’
She stares at me, her pity eyes larger than ever. She looks as if she’s going to cry too.
‘We had a deal, Gordon. You said you would relax and now—’
‘Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on?’ Michelle screeches out from behind Elaine.
I swallow down some tears, hold both of my palms out to face the two women.
‘Elaine,’ I say slowly, ‘this is Michelle – my ex-wife.’
Elaine purses her lips at Michelle, then nods before turning back to me.
‘Gordon is in need of emergency surgeries on his heart. He is due to go down for these surgeries in about twenty minutes, but that’s totally dependent on his heart rate remaining stable.’
Michelle folds her arms, stares at Elaine, not at me.
‘Is it true that he only has a fifty per cent chance of surviving these surgeries?’ she asks.
Elaine sticks out her bottom lip and then nods her head slowly.
‘I’m afraid that’s the ratio,’ she says. ‘The more stable his heart rate going into these surgeries, the more his chances of survival rise. But… but…’ she stutters.
‘But he hasn’t been able to remain stable because he’s been cooking up conspiracy theories about our daughter’s disappearance,’ Michelle says.
Elaine confirms Michelle’s assumption with a slight sigh and a shrug of her shoulder.
I hold my hand to my face again, my head thumping from all angles; both temples, the crown, the tops of my eyes. I have to stop Elaine from ratting me out to Douglas. I have to tell my wife that our daughter might be found today. I have to get on to Lenny, see what the fuck he’s found. Jesus Christ. Where do I even begin? I swing my legs over the side of the bed again and attempt to stand. But Michelle steps between me and Elaine, holds her hand to my chest.
‘You’re going nowhere,’ she says, bossing me about just like she used to. ‘Are these surgeries at three o’clock?’ she asks Elaine.
‘They were supposed to be, but…’ Elaine purses her lips again. I’m fucking sick of her pursing her lips.
‘Please,’ Michelle says rubbing at the side of Elaine’s arm with her other hand, ‘make sure the surgeries go ahead. He’s too young to die. I’ll see to it that he relaxes now and when he makes it out of the surgeries I’ll make sure he’s looked after.’
I actually feel my heart almost mend. Nobody has said anything nice to me in years. Jesus, I miss Michelle so much. I place my hand on top of the one she has resting on my chest.
‘Thank you,’ I say. She doesn’t respond. She’s more interested in what Elaine has to say than what I have to say.
Elaine pinches the bridge of her nose with her index finger and thumb, stares down at her feet.
‘I’ll give you two five minutes alone. If you can do your best, Michelle, to steady him ahead of surgery, that’ll at least give him a fighting chance.’
She looks at me, says nothing, then heads for the door.
I take Michelle’s hand, place it aside before planting my feet on the floor.
‘Elaine,’ I say, walking towards her. She turns around. I take two steps then throw my arms around her and breathe in her hair. ‘I’m so sorry.’
She leans off me, purses her lips right in my face, then spins around and walks out the door.
Michelle reaches out for my elbow, helps me back to my bed.
‘Chelle,’ I say, settling my back comfortably against the bed rail again, ‘I hired a PI called Lenny Moon – he’s—’
I stop talking when Michelle holds her eyes shut and sighs through her nostrils. I’ve already pissed her off and I haven’t even finished my first sentence.
‘I know,’ she says, opening her eyes. ‘He paid me a visit. Gordon, you need to listen to me now. You have to calm down, your life depends on it.’
‘But he has informa—’
‘Gordon, stop!’ she raises her voice.
‘Michelle, look, it makes sense. Guus fucking Meyer. Of course he took Betsy; it meant I would lose interest in the business, that he would be able to take it over.’
Michelle places her hand over my mouth.
‘Gordon, honestly, you need to stop. You need to let it all go.’
I try to talk but only a mumble comes out, so hard is Michelle’s hand pressed against my lips.
‘Listen to me, and listen to me carefully, okay?’ she says, craning her neck so she can stare straight down into my eyes. She places her cold hands either side of my face, holding my head still. ‘Betsy. Is. Dead.’