To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
—Martin Luther
Foundations are important. And they are important for this simple reason: A foundation determines how big, how strong, and how successful something can be.
For example, if you had the opportunity to build the home of your dreams—with a bedroom for each of your kids, several guest rooms so friends and family could come and visit, lots of space for hosting parties, a big enough kitchen for the family to hang out in and chat while you cooked, and, most important, big, big, big closets—you’d have to lay a large enough foundation to accommodate such a home.
First things first. The ground has to be leveled ahead of time, the exact dimensions of the home determined, all the plumbing has to be laid out, and the concrete has to be poured and tested. And guess what? All this has to happen before you can enjoy seeing any of the new home!
Well, the same thing that is true for building the home of your dreams is true for building the life of your dreams. The way you start each day (the foundation you lay) will determine how enjoyable and how successful your day is going to be. You can’t expect to have a day filled with joy, optimism, opportunities, and personal progress if you haven’t given yourself the right foundation.
If you wake up grumbling and complaining, you’ve already set yourself up for failure. If you begin the morning dreading the tasks ahead of you, it’s that much harder to be successful. If you laid in bed too long and had to start the day rushing around, frantically trying to get dressed and ready to go, you’re probably going to feel stressed-out and running behind schedule all day long. Foundations are important.
This is why the very first chapter in this book is “Have a Conversation with God.” It’s the foundation for this book… and it can be the foundation for your day. And trust me when I say: A conversation with God every morning is the very best foundation you can lay! As a matter of fact, I have discovered in my own life that the only way I can have a good day is if I take time to have a conversation with God before I begin trying to “do” anything else. Take time to “be” with God before you try to “do” what needs to be done that day. That’s what prayer is—a conversation with God! It is a comfortable (nonpretentious) conversation between two friends.
The Gospels tell us much about the miracles, the teachings, and the heart of Jesus, but they don’t give us a lot of details about His schedule. But Mark 1:35 is an exception. This verse of Scripture says, “And in the morning, long before daylight, He got up and went out to a deserted place, and there He prayed.” What an important Scripture! It’s a peek into the life of Jesus. Jesus spent time in the morning alone with God and praying. I can’t help but think that if it was important to Jesus to start His day conversing with God, it should be important for us, too!
Wait! Before you tell me you are not a “morning person,” let me simply say that even if you spend a few minutes conversing with God before you begin anything else, it will bring great blessing to the rest of your day. Then, if you need more time to wake up, or even if you prefer evenings for your “God-time,” that is fine, but at least begin with God! Let Him know that you want and need Him and His direction and help for your day and for each thing you do throughout the day.
I think some people don’t begin their day talking to God because they don’t realize what a great honor and privilege it is to be invited to do so.
I am purposely using the terminology “talk to God” and “have a conversation with God” in this chapter, rather than the word “prayer” exclusively, because that is what prayer is. I think we hear so often that we need to pray that perhaps we tend to overspiritualize the idea and end up seeing it as something that is a job or an obligation rather than an honor. It doesn’t have to be eloquent, or even necessarily long, but trying to live without it is foolish. Prayer is asking God to meet your need or someone else’s. It’s praising Him and thanking Him. It’s about committing things to Him and honestly sharing your worries and concerns with Him. There is no subject off-limits with God—you can talk to Him about anything without the fear of being misunderstood, judged critically, or reproached for your faults.
When we talk to God, we open the door for Him to come into our day—into our problems and situations—and do what we cannot do on our own. We are actually inviting the power of God into our lives. Talking to God about your life doesn’t immediately change your circumstances, but it does change something in you and gives you the strength you need to go through your day with a smile on your face. It helps you believe that you are not alone, and that is important for all of us.
When you pray for others, it changes them. We are usually unsuccessful in changing people, even though they may truly need to be changed, but God is very good at it. I recently read something that was very interesting to me. When we pray for other people, God puts thoughts in their mind, thoughts that they would not have had otherwise! They may begin desiring a change in their behavior or choices and not even realize it is God leading them. When we try to talk people into changing, or try to force them to change, they resent us and often become more determined than ever to stay the way they are. When God talks to someone, He is much more persuasive than we are.
When Dave and I got married in 1967, I had many problems in my soul and behavior from the abusive past I had endured. Dave didn’t realize how serious my problems were, or even that I had them. Like many people who get married, we knew very little about each other when we said, “I do.” Thankfully, Dave was a man who understood the power of prayer, and instead of trying to talk me into changing my attitudes and the way I behaved, he talked to God about me! He confronted me from time to time about my temper or selfishness, but mainly he was a good example, and he trusted God to do what needed to be done.
He has shared that at times, he became so discouraged that he would take a drive and just cry about the situation. He didn’t know what to do, but he believed that God did, so he continued to trust and talk to God. He asked God not only to change me, but to help him be patient and not to give up.
Don’t struggle and end up frustrated from trying to make things happen that only God can do. Invite Him into every area of your life and watch Him work. I not only suggest that you have a conversation with God in the morning, but that you continue talking with Him throughout your day. The more you talk to Him, the better your day will be.
Since a conversation involves talking and listening, I want to encourage you to believe you can hear from God, as well as talk to Him. There are many people who aren’t sure if God really speaks to people. They may believe He did in biblical times, but they’re uncertain if He still does today. And because of this uncertainty, they wonder:
• Is God really interested in my life?
• Does He care about all the little details and does He want to get involved?
• Can I ask God to help me after all the things I have done that are wrong?
I am happy to tell you from God’s Word, and my own personal experience as well as that of others, that God talks, and He will definitely talk to you. But to hear Him, you must be listening.
As a young believer, I went to church for years without knowing that God talks to people. I sincerely loved Jesus, I observed all the religious rules and holidays, and I went to church every Sunday. I was really doing all that I knew to do at that time. But it wasn’t enough to satisfy my longing for God. No matter how many church services I attended, it didn’t quench the thirst I had for a deeper fellowship with the Lord. I needed to talk to Him about my past and hear Him talk to me about my future. But at that time, nobody taught me that God wants to be intimately involved in the details of our lives and that He speaks to us in many different ways. No one offered a solution for the dissatisfied feelings I lived with.
Through studying God’s Word, I learned that He does want to talk to us and He does have a plan for our lives that will lead us to a place of peace and contentment. I began to see that a relationship with God is about more than doing all the right things and attending all the right events. My relationship with God is deeply personal. And communication is an important part of any personal relationship. I think it is fair to say that good communication is the basis for a good relationship!
Not only could I talk to God about everything I was going through, but I could listen and expect Him to speak to me in whatever way He desired. And the same is true for you. If you want to see your life get better, it is essential that you believe that God will speak to you and learn the ways in which He does it.
When I talk about hearing the voice of God, people often ask, “Joyce, how do we hear God? Does He speak to us in an audible voice?” Well, God certainly can speak in an audible voice if He wants to (the Bible gives examples of this), but more often than not, God speaks to us in other ways. Let me show you some of the ways God will speak to you:
The number one way God speaks to us is through His Word. That’s why it is so important not just to read the Bible, but also to study it. Instruction, promises, hope, direction, examples—it’s all there! If you want to hear the voice of God, I encourage you to spend some time each day in the Word. Everything the Bible says is God’s Word to you! Yes, it is for everyone, but I urge you to take it as a personal letter to you specifically. When you read it, believe it is God speaking directly to you about His will for your life.
If you’re asking God to help you make a decision, what is the option that gives you the most peace? Many times, it is this peace that is telling you the direction to take. Peace always accompanies God’s instruction for your life.
One of the most practical ways to hear from God is through wisdom and common sense. Wisdom discerns truth in a situation, while common sense gives good judgment in what to do about the truth. I consider wisdom supernatural because it isn’t taught by men but is a gift from God.
When we are born again, we are made alive in our spirit to be sensitive to the voice of God. We hear His whisper and we feel His nudging even if we can’t tell where it’s coming from. He guides us deep within our heart. He convicts, corrects, and directs us by a still, small voice heard in our spirit.
I often refer to this as a “knowing” deep inside. We simply know what is right to do. We feel a certainty that isn’t coming from our minds, but from a deeper place within us.
There are other ways God can speak to us, too. He speaks through other people, through nature, through personal conviction, through your own thoughts, through natural things that happen around us, through circumstances, through sermons, worship songs, Bible-based books—these are just a few of the other ways God speaks to His children. The Bible also shows us that at times, He speaks through dreams or visions. All of these ways that God speaks should agree with His written Word. If God’s Word (the Bible) doesn’t give us exact instructions about something, we can still find within its pages the nature of God, and knowing that enables us to discern between a message from God and one that might not be from God.
As you can see, having a conversation with God is a two-way street. It’s not just telling God all the things you need, and it’s not just sitting in silence waiting for something to happen. Prayer is about talking and then listening as you go about your day. And just like any other relationship, talking and listening is crucial if you want to grow closer together.
We begin our journey by talking, and then listening and watching for God to speak. He may not answer you quickly, as people often do, but He will make His will known in due time. I recently heard a powerful man of God say that we learn to hear from God by making mistakes. God doesn’t require us to do everything perfectly the first time. If your heart is right and you truly want God’s direction, He will continue teaching you until the day comes when someone may ask you, “How can I hear from God?” and you will be able to teach them and pass on what you have learned over the years.
I want to conclude this chapter by strongly recommending that at any time throughout the day, if there is anything that seems to be draining your energy or joy and causing you to want to say, “I’ll be glad when this day is over,” or “This is just not a good day,” stop right then and talk to God about the thing that is robbing you of the good day He wants you to have. You can talk to Him anytime, anywhere, about anything, and He is listening!
• The same thing that is true for building the home of your dreams is true for building the life of your dreams. The way you start each day (the foundation you lay) will determine how joyful and successful your day is going to be.
• When you talk to God, it should be natural to do so. He is your friend and He is interested in everything about you.
• God still speaks today… and He wants to speak to you!
• Having a conversation with God is a two-way street. It’s not just telling God all the things you need, and it’s not just sitting in silence waiting for something to happen. It is about talking and listening.