A Sister's Survival

Nate could not believe what he was seeing. It was late on a Friday evening. He was downstairs in the family room. And a pair of his pajamas, plus several large pillows, had been spread across the sofa. A makeshift bed for husbands in the doghouse.

He went and stood outside their bedroom, pressed his ear against the door.

He heard light voices.

Nate rattled the knob. It was locked.

He banged his fist against the hardwood. “Burg, what the hell is going on? Why is this door locked?”

“You know exactly why.” Nate heard his wife answer him from the other side of the door. She was chatting with Alita on speakerphone while this was going on.

Nate banged the door three more times. “Unlock the door, Burg.”

“Tell him to go fuck himself and swallow his own semen, B.”

“Girl, be quiet. This doesn’t concern you, Lita.”

“Like hell it doesn’t,” Alita snapped back. “As long as you’re still married to that poor excuse of a man, everything y’all do affects me.”

“Burg, if you don’t open up this door right now, you’ll wish you had.” Nate sounded more frustrated than enraged. Nevertheless, she pictured her husband, his height, and how he towered over her. His big hands that, even when he was just playing around, could hurt and bruise.

“No, Nate. It’s better this way. You can stay out there. Sleep on that couch or you can use the guest room on the first floor.”

Her meaning did not go unnoticed. Nate couldn’t believe that his wife thought he’d actually go upstairs and touch his daughters. No way. He adored the girls.

“I don’t like this,” he complained. “I don’t like being locked out of my own room.”

“Oh, yeah,” she said. “It could be worse. You could be locked up.”

He fell silent. This was her first time talking to him about the “incident.” Ever since Alita had come to their home and practically kidnapped Elyse last December, Burgundy had barely mentioned what happened. It was too painful to think about him having sex with her sister. She wondered how long it had been going on and told herself that it had happened only one time. And no way she’d ask Nate. All he’d do is lie and make up excuses.

It was so very hard to love a man whom you thought you knew but didn’t.

And these days, repulsion was the best she could give him when it came to intimacy.

“I don’t want to sleep next to you, Nate.”

“Why not?”

“Are you kidding me? You know exactly why; don’t act stupid.”

“Sis,” Alita interrupted. “I’m sorry but you’re the one that’s acting stupid.” Her voice loudly rang out. “You don’t fuck the man anymore; you’re making him sleep on the couch, which is totally understandable, yet you still want to be married to him? That makes no damn sense.”

“It’s complicated,” Burgundy answered in a wistful tone. She lowered her voice. “I-I don’t want to get divorced. I just want us to take some time out to work on our relationship. When that will happen? I honestly don’t know. Right now I need to stay focused on the girls and on our businesses. And being like I used to be: the good wife, the perfect yet stupid wife, is dead last on my agenda.”

“You sound bitter,” Alita responded with a knowing laugh. “You sound vengeful too. Just like your big sister. Maybe it runs in the family.”

For once Burgundy could not argue with Alita. For the trials and tribulations that she’d gone through, the struggles, and the disbelief that her husband could have it in him to exhibit inappropriate behavior toward Elyse—it was beyond her comprehension. Why did people think they knew other people like the back of their hand just to find out they were living with a stranger? Nate’s behavior disgusted her. She wanted to kill him, not forgive him. Yet she felt that letting go of the anger and offering him some semblance of forgiveness could happen, just not overnight.

So she’d given Nate the silent treatment at times. And that would send a shock to his system and caused him to plead with her to stick by his side. But every time her husband begged her to look past his “crazy ways,” as he called them, she shrank back in disgust. Each time he tried to play off his behavior as just temporary poor judgment, she wanted to weep. And when he stooped so low as to even blame his indiscretions on her, saying that if she had not withheld her wifely duties from him, he wouldn’t be so desperate.

In those moments Burgundy was one step away from changing the locks on the front and back doors and blocking him out of her life for good. She hated the lies, the disillusionment, and the misplaced blame for his unwise, felonious actions.

“Look, B. Take it from me,” Alita continued. “I’ve been where you at right now. Trying to make that decision. Should I stay or should I go? Should I stick with him for the sake of the kids? Or should I kick his ass out and put my life back together again?”

“Look, Alita,” Burgundy told her. “I appreciate your advice, but truly, you’re the last woman that I’d take relationship advice from.”

“Oh, yeah?” Alita said feeling insulted. “Then why don’t you tweet Iyanla Vanzant and see if you can go on Fix My Life. ’Cause your life sucks, B. It’s fraudulent as hell. And I never ever thought I’d see the day that those words came out of my mouth. Bye, bitch.”

Feeling frustrated, Alita hung up. She hated that so many of the Reeves sisters were going through terrible situations. It was as if the family was cursed. It made her angry and sad. But soon, Alita dismissed those thoughts from her mind. When a woman purposely chose to be in her situation, she’d always get what she had coming to her.

After thinking and praying for ten minutes, Burgundy decided to unlock the door. When she opened it, she saw Nate seated on the floor outside their bedroom, his back pressed against the wall, head slumped over. She heard him snoring, the noise resembling a tiger.

And in spite of herself, she giggled. He looked exhausted, yet endearing.

“Nate,” she whispered. “Get up.”

“Huh?” He struggled to open his eyes. She nudged him with her toe. “What’s wrong?” he said groggily.

“You fell asleep. I’m sure your butt must be hurting by now.” He wiped his eyes with rounded fists and stood to his feet.

“That’s not the only thing that’s hurting.” He actually grabbed the front of his robe.

“Don’t start. Don’t play the sympathy card with me, Nate.” She walked to the kitchen, and he followed behind.

“You may not want to make love to me,”—he yawned—“but the fact that you’re still talking to me gives me some hope. I guess showing love is more important than having sex.”

“You got that right,” Burgundy said and opened the cabinet to reach for a box of tea bags.

“Wait, let me do the honors.” She gave him a dubious look then shrugged. He proceeded to pull out the tea, sugar, a bottle of honey, and fresh lemons that he set aside on the counter.

“Go right ahead. Knock yourself out. But my letting you make me some tea doesn’t impress me. I’m not as easy as that, Nate. You have a long way to go before you impress me again.”

“Ouch,” he said. He looked around at their large beautiful home, which he’d paid for with his hard-earned money. The expensive furnishings with custom made drapes. Her tasteful clothes and jewelry that she still enjoyed wearing. Compared to other wives, she didn’t have it so bad.

“I don’t know that I deserve that judgment.”

“Are you serious? You deserve jail, Nate. Don’t you get it?”

Soon Burgundy was talking to the back of his head. Because every time she tried to tell him what was on her mind, he turned away from her. He covered one ear with one hand and tried to open the refrigerator for a cold bottle of water with his free hand.

“You may not want to hear it, Nate, but for us to move forward in our marriage, in this family, you have to listen to me and listen real good.” She paused, carefully selecting the tender yet firm words she needed to express.

“In some odd way, I still care about you for whatever reason. I can’t turn love on and off like it’s a water faucet—”

“Thank you, Burg. I needed to hear that.”

“Hold on. On the other hand, you must realize that you hurt me deeply. Not just me, you hurt my family, Nate. My sister. You embarrassed me with your actions. Do you understand?”

He nodded and poured cold water into two large mugs. “Go on,” he mumbled.

“You have daughters. Girls that you adore. How would you feel if a grown-ass man did to Natalia and Sidnee what you did to Elyse?”

He walked to the microwave, popped open the door, inserted the mugs, then slammed it. He set the timer to three minutes and listened to the hum of the oven as it boiled the water.

“You wouldn’t like it, Nate. I know you wouldn’t. Not as much as you dote on our girls.”

“But she’s not a kid. She’s grown. She only did what grown-ups do.”

“What? I can’t believe you said that.” Burgundy eyed both of the cups of water that were bubbling inside the microwave. “Surely you can’t think that age is what makes it okay to sexually force yourself on a woman? You wielded power over Elyse even if she is almost twenty. If a woman was sixty-five and a man strong-armed her into sex, do you truly believe the fact that she’s old doesn’t make her feel violated? Or powerless? Every woman has the right to choose when she wants to make love. When she’s not given a choice, it’s rape!”

This time Burgundy did not ask Nate if he got it. If his predatory actions were unwanted, then that’s what mattered the most.

Burgundy continued. “Furthermore, let’s get something straight. Even if she had said yes—”

“She wanted it, Burg. She did not mind at all. That’s the part that no one knows.”

“Oh, save it, Nate!” Hearing him speak those words hurt her deeply. The idea that Elyse, shy little Elyse, could lust after him and beg her husband to make love to her was totally unfathomable.

Or was it? Why, anyone could see that the girl dressed like a seductress these days. But still, Burgundy did not want to imagine that scenario.

“The end result is that that girl is traumatized. She is trying her best to get through this situation. Thank God for the psychotherapy sessions. And believe it or not, Alita has stepped up to the plate. She takes damned good care of her. And I think that Alita is right. She told me—”

“The only thing Alita can be is wrong. She fills your mind up with all kinds of crap. And you fall for it every time.”

“That’s my sister you’re talking about.”

“And I’m your husband. You don’t owe her a thing. You haven’t made any vows to her—”

“And I don’t have to.”

“Then you’re stupid, Burg. Because last time I checked, that sister needs a psychiatrist too.”

“You know what. Be quiet. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say, Nate. As intelligent as you are, you still don’t get it. And until you stop putting the blame on everything and everyone else but yourself, this conversation is over.”

Burgundy thought long and hard as she stared into the cup of tea that he’d made for her. Finally she poured the liquid down the sink and walked out of the kitchen.