HE WAS BREATHING, BUT it didn’t feel like he was getting any air. Or maybe he wasn’t breathing? Maybe his body had stopped working, and the notion that he was breathing was no more than one last residual thought before his brain blinked out, like the flailing leg of a spider after it’s been ripped off its body.
Was this what it felt like to drown? He’d heard it was supposed to be one of the most painful ways to die, but this didn’t hurt at all. He could hardly feel a thing, not even the metallic hatch against his feet. He had the vague impression that he was slowly fading away and disappearing.
But then came the opportunity he’d spent several days waiting for, or maybe it was only hours. He had no idea; his sense of time had deserted him long ago. He could hear a dull sound coming through the walls: a distant door opening and closing, and someone shouting. He couldn’t hear what the person was saying, but it was definitely someone shouting, unless it was just another desperate attempt on his behalf to refuse to accept the facts — a hallucination that help was on the way.
He decided that it didn’t matter. If he was dead, so be it, but if not, this was his very last chance. He mustered all his strength and lifted his feet into the air. At least, he thought he did. The important thing was that he tried to bang them against the hatch and make as much noise as he could. He tried to yell, but all that came out was a whisper. His feet sounded like dull, blunt drumbeats striking the hatch.
He managed to kick the hatch three times, but couldn’t push any further than that, no matter how hard he tried. The suffocating silence was back, and he felt like he was holding his breath for a long time.
He’d heard that the world record for holding your breath was over seven minutes. How long would he manage? How many minutes was he up to? He didn’t really want to die, not right now. For a few years he’d spent all his time thinking about how nice it would be to give up, stop fighting, and float out into nothingness instead.
The darkness surrounded him like a cosy, warm hug. If only he had known it would be so simple. He wouldn’t have had to fight it, to be so scared and beat himself bloody. He sank deeper and deeper and finally...
Finally, he saw the light.