AS a public-relations’ exercise, the Tesco management decided that all the damaged goods from the crashed lorry should be distributed in gift boxes around the various residential and care homes in the town. It was ironic that one of the beneficiaries of the gifts was Jock.
This act of kindness caused the four, great mirth. “It wouldn’t ’ave ’append if you’d done summit about yer eyes,” Reg commented. He turned to Lenny, “And you too.”
Sonny Summerton was so pleased to get his garden back and particularly the contents of the greenhouse. The Colonel had suspicions before the plants vanished. There was something odd about the blacked-out, padlocked greenhouse. Now, he knew he had unwittingly returned more than 100 cannabis plants with a street value of some £100,000.
As a way of celebrating the return of his prized asset, Sonny decided to hold a garden party. No one from the Retreat was invited. The only outsiders invited were his young friends and his buyers of his special ‘veg’. One included Carol Smythe. It was a happy affair that would lead to an unexpected aftermath.
As the party was in full swing, the Colonel walked along the beach thinking about the post office raid. He muttered, “It’s gotta look good.”
“The gorilla solution will give the cops summit t’ think about,” he chuckled. He smiled and muttered, “Now, what would they think if we disguised the gorillas. Don’t wanna make it too easy to find us. It’s gotta look good.” He didn’t explain how he was going to disguised four gorillas. Then he pondered, stopped walking and said to himself, “Now there’s a thought. I could wait a bit, then ask the governor to let me talk to the prisoners about ‘how not to rob a bank’. It could earn me a few brownie points and a few quid. I get free board, meals cooked fer me and any medical help I need. If I get it right, they’ll let me out on day release and for once, I can earn a few honest quid and give some talks. First, I’ve gotta find someone to look after Minnie.”
He walked to the Belfry pub to join the others. “What no Reg?”
“We’re goin’ to have to do summit about him. He’s findin’ it hard work to walk.”
“A wheel-chair, that’s what he needs, a wheel-chair,” Jock declared in his whisky-assisted style.
No one responded to his suggestion.
Lenny left early, telling the others he had an important meeting.
As he arrived at Miss Creswell’s flat, a middle-age, well-dressed man was leaving, red-faced and rubbing his posterior.
Miss Creswell came to the door and led him into her plush lounge. After a brief chat, she said, “Well, what you need are lessons on good diction.” She stood up and flexing a three-foot long cane, she strode across the room, saying, “Now say after me. How Now Brown Cow.” An hour after practising various other phrases, he left, unpunished.
In the church hall, fourteen women aged between sixty-seven and seventy-two gathered for their first meeting of the revised Tappets and discussed the possible routines. All of them agreed it had to be good, but not too physical. Then, they tried several moves with various results and moans about being out of step. Martha urged that more rehearsals were required and possibly a new name.
With Jock providing a Scottish theme for the group, Martha suggested they were named the Tartanettes and wore tartan-style mini-skirts as part of their stage costume. After years of being out of the business as a costume designer, she planned on showing off her skills.
Within a week, she had organised the purchase of a tartan and instructed an Edinburgh kilt maker to provide fourteen.
Reg sat on the bench overlooking the sea, talking to Angela Worthing and her son, James. He handed the boy an envelope. James looked at the contents and burst out laughing, “Mummy, look, it’s me.” He turned to Reg, “Thanks, Reg. You’re my friend.” James’ mother looked at the drawing, then quietly said, “Thank you. You’re one of the few he talks to outside of the family.” James let out a squeal of delight.
He discovered Angela was a single mum and struggling to survive.
Reg began to ponder whether bank robberies had been worthwhile ‘career’ moves. He’d begun to regard the mother and son as daughter and grandson. He was becoming content with life.
He wasn’t concerned about taking part in the robbery. After all, he was on his last legs.
Lenny just followed orders, not caring about the consequences. Jock simply wanted to annoy the ‘Sassenach rabble’. The Colonel simply planned to end his, less than successful, career with a bang and write his life’s story and work on the idea of giving speeches about how not to be a bank robber.