Philip nearly gasped for joy when his father said, “Well, I think I’ll go take Becky for a walk.”
He, his father, his mother, and Aunt Louise had finished lunch, and the two women were talking and laughing about things Philip had no interest in and didn’t know anything about. Philip caught his father sighing twice and guessed his father didn’t know what was going on either.
“I’ll come, too, Dad,” said Philip.
Philip’s mother smiled. “Okay, you two. Go. Louise and I have some catching up to do.”
When Philip and his father reached the living room, they both went, “Pshew,” at the exact same moment. They turned to each other in surprise and laughed. Philip’s father put his finger to his lips. “I’ll take Becky to the playground. Want to come?”
“No. I’m going over Emery’s, but I gotta get something first.” Philip ran upstairs and grabbed his gift packs of underwear. He waited until his father left the house and then put the packages under his shirt and hurried outside. A few moments later he showed them to Emery.
“Look at what she gave me,” said Philip. “I told you she was nuts. I’m not wearing them. You want them?”
“No! I don’t want them. What are you gonna do with them?”
“Give them to Mr. Sorino.”
“Did you spend your two dollars yet?”
“Nope. You?”
“Nope. So what do you want to do after we drop off your underwear?”
“I don’t know.”
“Hey. Suppose your aunt wants to see you in your underwear. What then?”
“Are you crazy? I’m not gonna stand there in my underwear for her. You think she’s gonna ask me to take my pants off?”
“You never know. Sometimes people like to see the person they gave a gift to using the gift. My aunt gave me a computer game for my birthday. Dumbest game ever. Something about sheep jumping over bushes and turning into puffy white clouds. She kept making me play it so she could watch. I think she’s kind of crazy, too. Not as crazy as your aunt, but still crazy. She kept pointing to the screen and saying that’s a ewe.”
“That’s a-you? Is your aunt Italian?”
“Italian? What? No. You crazy? She kept pointing at the screen and saying that’s a ewe.”
“How could that be you? How are you in the game?”
“I wasn’t in the game.”
“But she said you were?”
“No, she didn’t say I was in the game. She said that sheep’s a ewe.”
“There. She said it again. How could you be in the game?” Philip said, his voice rising. “How could you be a sheep or a puffy white cloud?”
“I’m not a sheep or a puffy white cloud. I wasn’t in the game,” Emery yelled back. “She said a ewe’s a sheep.”
“Me? Now I’m in the game? Me? I’m no sheep. What are you talking about?”
“Not you. You aren’t a sheep. A ewe’s a sheep.”
“How can I not be a sheep, but I’m a sheep? Emery, why do you always talk like this? You never make sense.”
“I’m telling you something you don’t know. A ewe’s a sheep.”
“And I’m telling you something I do know. I’m not a sheep.”
“I know you’re not a sheep, but a ewe is.”
“I’m not but I is? Now you can’t even speak English. And why would your aunt think you were a sheep, for Pete’s sake?”
“She didn’t think I was a sheep, for Pete’s sake! What is wrong with you? She kept pointing at the sheep and saying that’s a ewe. She was pointing at a girl sheep. The name for a girl sheep is a ewe. A ram is a boy sheep. My aunt kept pointing and saying, ‘That’s a ewe.’ She wasn’t saying that’s you . . . me.”
“That’s you . . . me,” Philip mumbled and put his hand to his forehead. He took a deep breath. “Can we change the subject?”
“Sure, if you want.”
“Good.”
“Baaaaaad.”
Philip glared at his friend.
Emery smiled. “I didn’t say baaaaad. A ewe said it.”
“Emery . . .”
“All right. All right. I don’t see Mr. Sorino.”
They had reached Mr. Sorino’s house and stood across the street studying it.
Philip said, “Wait here. I don’t think I want Mr. Sorino to know I gave these to him. I’ll just toss them onto his porch.” Philip ran across the street, paused, and tossed the package near the front door. He turned and rejoined Emery. “Boy, am I glad to be rid of them. So what do you want to do?”
“Go to the playground?”
“Nah. My father’s there with Becky.”
“Want to walk around then and look for stuff?”
“You mean for Mr. Sorino? It’s not trash day.”
“Could still be some stuff people put out. Big stuff. To get it out of the way, you know.”
“Yeah, maybe. Okay.”
As they walked, Emery asked, “Did your aunt give you anything else?”
“Me? Nothing. She gave my father and mother these goofy-looking pants that are so shiny they sparkle. They look like lady’s pants. Red for my mother and black for my father.”
“My mother has shiny bed sheets like that. Real bright colors. I think that stuff is called satin . . .”
“Hey,” Philip interrupted. “There’s Leon.”
Leon walked toward them, his head down as if he’d lost something.
“What are you doing?” Emery asked.
“Oh, hi guys.”
“What’s wrong?” asked Philip.
“I’m in trouble.”
“What’d you do this time?” asked Emery.
“I gave my mother’s good plate away. I was looking for stuff to give Mr. Sorino, broken stuff. I saw the plate, and I gave it to him with some other stuff I got from knocking on doors. My mother looked for the plate and went bonko when I said I gave it away.”
“Why’s she want a broken plate?” asked Philip.
“It had a big line in it.” Leon slashed a line in the air with his finger. “I thought it was a crack. My mother said it was part of the design.”
“So go get it back from Mr. Sorino,” said Emery.
“I tried. He said he gave it to Pete’s Repeat shop. I’m sunk. My mother won’t talk to me. She was going to send me to camp this summer, a real neat camp. Now, she says she won’t. I’m sunk. I’m really sunk.”
Philip had a quick thought. Anything that sent Leon to camp was good. Anything that kept him in the neighborhood all summer wasn’t. “Tell her to go to Pete’s and buy it back,” he said.
“I did and she went double bonko. She said she was in no mood to waste money buying something that already belonged to her. I’m so sunk.”
Philip recalled his mother’s reaction to losing her pin. “Maybe you can buy it at Pete’s. Did you go see how much it is?”
Leon’s eyes brightened for a moment. “I didn’t go. Oh, but it’s probably too much. I only got a little money.”
“Emery and I have some money.”
“What!” cried Emery.
“Leon needs to go to camp, Emery. Camp. He needs to go away to camp.”
“Oooohhh. Away to camp.”
Philip nodded vigorously. “It’s an emergency, and Leon will pay us back. Right, Leon? What are friends for? Besides, we’ll all get more money from Mr. Sorino this summer.”
Leon’s eyes opened wide. “Yeah. I’ll pay you back. I will. Oh, thanks, guys.”
Emery mumbled, “You better.”
The three boys headed off to Pete’s Repeat shop.