JENNY RAN UP the pitch-black hill, panting, her body temperature rising despite the crisp fall air. She couldn’t wrap her head around what just happened. It was too fresh. Her mother had snapped again.
She dipped through the trees lining Mr. Renkin’s property. JP’s front yard shared a hint of forest with Mr. Renkin’s backyard, and cutting through saved Jenny ten minutes of following the road around the bend. She hesitated as she reached the tree line, but lights from JP’s house spilled through and she focused on the glow to keep herself moving.
She found JP sitting on the steps of the dilapidated front porch, smoking a cigarette and staring into the woods. He stood when he saw her emerge from the tree line and flicked the remaining stub of the cigarette into the driveway. She didn’t break stride until she reached him, wrapping her thin arms around him.
“What’s wrong?” JP rested his arms loosely around her.
She said nothing, only sobbed into his camouflage jacket.
He placed his hand on the back of her head, rubbing her hair. “It’s OK, just tell me what’s wrong.”
“My mom is crazy,” she said into his chest.
JP held her closer and let her cry it out.
After a minute, the tears dried up and she peeled herself off of him. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“Don’t be sorry.”
She wanted to kiss him. She had never kissed anyone before.
“I can’t go home,” she said. “I want to come with you to Mexico.”
JP took a step back and ran his hand through his matted hair. “Why don’t we just sit for a minute?”
Jenny was hurt. It was rejection. She was Jenny Kennedy. She was fawned over. She was not rejected. “If you don’t want to come with me, I’ll go by myself. You can stay here.”
“That’s not what I said. Don’t overreact,” he said. “You want to run away? You need a plan. Crying and running is not a plan. You need money, a place to go, something to do when your picture is plastered all over the news. Without those things, you’ll just live on the streets for a few nights until they drag you home.”
“Is that why you’re still here? Why you haven’t run away yet?”
“I’m not running away. I don’t have anywhere to run from. I’m just going to leave when I’m ready.” He pulled another cigarette from his pocket. “I’m gonna smoke, OK? I know you don’t like it, but you’re stressing me out.”
She just nodded. He wasn’t impressed with her. She’d thought he would sweep her up and save her. She’d thought he would like her more as a victim. Not JP. She had pushed him away, and it was killing her.
“You’re right, I was just acting like a baby.” She clenched her teeth together, trying to sell it.
“It’s OK, you’re just a kid.”
The words drilled through her chest. She felt her lip shudder and knew she had to get out of there before she made it even worse. “I’m gonna go.” She rose from her seat.
“Are you mad? I didn’t mean anything. I’m sorry. You don’t have to go. We can watch TV or something.”
“No, I’m fine. I’ll see you in school.” Jenny started to walk away.
“OK, I’ll see you in the morning . . .” He phrased it almost as a question, but she just kept walking.
She kept her pace steady as she headed down the driveway, counting the seconds until she would be out of sight and could start running. Maybe she was just a kid. How many people had to say it before she believed it? Maybe she should just take up cheerleading and let Mallory pick an appropriate boyfriend for her. Or maybe she should make a plan and get the hell away from these people.
LINDA WAS PASSED OUT on the couch when Jenny got home. Jenny flung a stack of mail onto the kitchen island. She had noticed the overflowing mailbox while standing in her driveway, searching for the strength to go inside. Her mother was incapable of even the simplest tasks lately.
Jenny locked the door to her bedroom just in case her mother had any more crazy left in her that night. She collapsed onto her bed, not even bothering to change into pajamas. Her whole body was tense, a tightness that could only be relieved by bursting into tears, but she found it impossible. She wrapped her arms around a pillow and squeezed it as hard as she could against her chest until, hours later, she fell asleep.
When Jenny woke in the morning, her jaw hurt. She had been clenching it in her sleep. She lay still, delaying the inevitable interaction with Linda as long as possible. For the first time in a long time, she wished her father was home.
A soft knock on the door disrupted her sanctuary. Jenny whipped her head toward the noise like a deer in the woods.
“Jenny, honey, it’s time to get up for school,” Linda said through the door with a cavity-inducing sweetness to her tone. “Are you awake?”
Jenny flung her feet to the floor and sat up. “Yes,” she gargled out with the morning’s first words. “I’ll be right down.”
She heard Linda descend the stairs. Jenny was relieved. She didn’t need an apology; she needed it to never have happened in the first place.
JENNY ENTERED the kitchen to find her mother pulling a tray of muffins from the oven. She was going to the cabinet for a granola bar when Linda finally noticed her.
“Muffins.” She shoved the hot pan in Jenny’s general direction.
“I have to go. I’m going to miss the bus.”
“I can drive you,” Linda offered over Jenny’s dead body.
“It’s OK, I have a big day today.” She smiled to drive the point home.
Jenny did have a big day ahead of her; it just wasn’t going to be at school.
NEW LOFTON WAS nine stops north of Wrenton. Jenny disembarked the bus a little before eleven at a nondescript bench in front of a post office that felt no different from the one in her own small town. The streets were quiet. Her pace was slow, timid. She had been dabbling quite heavily in disobeying her parents, but this took the cake for sure.
Her destination, an uninviting brick building, was three stories high and packed full of efficiency units. She inspected the call box to the right of the door. It was in rough shape. Most of the nameplates were blank, others faded from the sun. She knew he was number five but couldn’t find the label for even that much. She was about to start from the top when she heard the lock click.
Jenny grabbed the door as it swung toward her. A musty old woman crept out like it might take her all day to reach the sidewalk. Jenny smiled to acknowledge it was no problem for her to hold the door open. The lady responded with a muted grunt.
The smell from the woman was pungent and carried into the hallway where she left her wake. There were small sconces along the walls, but thick layers of dust dulled their effect.
Apartment five was all the way at the end. Jenny took a deep breath and tapped her knuckles against the door. There were no sounds from inside. She knocked again, a little louder.
Behind her, a door opened and a skinny man in a bathrobe appeared. The robe was open, revealing everything not covered by his yellowed briefs, the most she had ever seen of a man. Jenny tightened her hands around the straps of her backpack, prepared to run.
“You gotta knock real loud for him,” the man said.
Jenny didn’t react, hoping he would just go away.
The man shoved out of his apartment, pushed right by her, and pounded his fist on the door to number five.
“He’s always got those damn headphones on. Hey!” He pounded again, then listened. Furniture creaked from within, then footsteps. The neighbor nodded and scurried back into his apartment.
The door opened, and Jenny blinked a few times to adjust to the daylight seeping out from the apartment. The man stood before her in a thin, pit-stained white T-shirt and gray sweatpants. His eyes were as warm as ever. “Jenny?” he asked, not trusting himself.
“Hi, Benjy.” She smiled.