BY THE TIME Jenny woke up on Sunday morning, the antique hutch was back where it belonged. She slept with her headphones blaring in her ears until the battery ran its course long after she fell asleep. It was something new she was trying in order to drown out the sounds in her head when there was nothing else.
She stayed in her room as long as she could, spending most of the day sitting on the floor, her back against her bed, staring at the door and contemplating her future. She waited for Linda to come to the door. Which Linda, she couldn’t know.
The darker it got outside, the more nervous she became. She should just go downstairs and confront her mother. Whatever happened, it couldn’t be worse than the suspense of it all, but she was paralyzed. Just a few more minutes, she thought. Then I’ll go downstairs. But she didn’t. She just sat there until she heard someone on the stairs.
Jenny scooted her feet toward her body, reached her hands onto the bed behind her, and slowly rose to her feet, unsteady from hours of sitting still. There was a light knock and then the knob began to turn. It played so slowly in Jenny’s mind, she half expected the grim reaper to be standing on the other side.
The door opened just enough for Linda to push her face through, as if she was extending some sort of privacy by not opening it all the way. “Jenny . . .” Her voice was quiet and level, and when her eyes met Jenny’s, she smiled. “Your sister will be here soon. C’mon downstairs.”
Sunday. Sunday-dinner Sunday! Time had escaped Jenny’s brain. Her father wasn’t home, she hadn’t left her room, there were none of the normal markers, but it was Sunday and Virginia was coming over to, without knowing it, force Linda to behave. This was the second time that week Virginia had shown up at just the right time to help Jenny, and she decided she would queue up an apology for her outburst that day in town.
SUNDAY DINNERS without her father were rare. They should have been an opportunity for the three girls to relax a bit, but it never worked out that way. It was always worse when Linda drove the conversation. This time was no different. The first twenty minutes Linda talked Virginia’s ear off about nursing school as if she knew anything about it or Virginia would ever consider it. Virginia took Linda’s advice as long as she could stomach before saying something under her breath about Linda not working a day in her life. Then Linda threw out a patented “I’m only trying to help. That’s all I’ve ever done with you, Virginia.”
“Thank you,” Virginia said. “From the bottom of my heart.”
Linda rolled her eyes and sawed away at the severely overcooked steak strips on her plate.
“So, what was Dad’s excuse?” Virginia blurted out.
“It’s quarter end. It’s not an excuse,” Linda said so genuinely Jenny knew her mother was past the point of ever being trustworthy again.
Virginia looked to Jenny for confirmation.
“Don’t look at her like you think I’m lying,” said Linda. “It’s very rude.”
“I was just looking at her. Is that not allowed? I thought you loved this sort of thing, people staring at your precious Jenny?”
Jenny buried a smile down at her plate before turning to Virginia with her eyes crossed and her bottom jaw stuck out, her best attempt at ugly.
“Gorgeous,” Virginia pandered.
Linda’s knife scraped against her plate, and they all winced. “You know, maybe you should worry a little less about getting a laugh and spend a little more time being a positive role model for your sister.”
Virginia shoved a forkful of salad into her mouth. “Don’t do drugs.”
Linda shook her head. “I’m done,” she announced, standing with her plate and heading into the kitchen.
Virginia turned to Jenny, wide-eyed and looking for corroboration that Linda’s sudden departure was out of character. Jenny just shrugged. Of course it was out of character. Virginia had no idea.
“Sorry about the other day in town,” Jenny said quiet enough to keep their conversation private. “I don’t hate you. I was just pissed.”
“What was going on? It looked like you were mixed up in something with Mark Renkin.”
“No, it was nothing. I was just trying to catch the bus from school and was worried I wasn’t going to make it.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah, it was fine.”
Virginia nodded, but bit at her lip like she was eager to pry. Jenny wasn’t having it. “You were all dressed up. What were you doing?”
“Nothing . . . And I wasn’t dressed up.”
“Yes, you were. For you. Look what you’re wearing right now.” Jenny glanced down at Virginia’s worn leggings. “And your hair was all nice and you were being really weird. You just got out of your car, but you didn’t go anywhere.”
“It was nothing.”
“If it was nothing, then what were you doing in town and why wouldn’t you give me a ride home?”
“I was just running errands.”
“But you didn’t go anywhere. You just got out of your car, then got back in,” Jenny pressed. “And you were all crazy-eyes and manic.”
“Jenny, fucking drop it,” Virginia snapped. Jenny recoiled, not used to Virginia dropping f-bombs on her.
Virginia slid her chair back and grabbed her plate, the steak untouched. “I think I’m done too.”
“Fine, don’t tell me,” said Jenny.
“There’s nothing to tell,” said Virginia as she walked off into the kitchen. Jenny had pissed her sister off, but at least Virginia wasn’t going to ask any more questions about what Jenny was doing in town that day. Or, worse, mention it in front of Linda.
JENNY LEFT THE HOUSE for school an hour early to avoid interaction with her mother. She headed up Sanford Hill and found JP out behind his house. He was an early riser and liked to brag about it. Marines get up early. She heard the knives whacking into the tree before she could even see him. The knives no longer frightened her. The initial hesitation toward the machete was a distant memory.
Jenny stepped on a branch as she entered the backyard. Snap. JP whipped around, raising a knife above his head, ready to defend his land.
Jenny jumped back. “Whoa!”
“Sorry,” he said, turning and hurling the knife toward a tree. The knife penetrated the trunk and stuck, vibrating with the leftover force. “You’re up early.”
She wanted to tell him what had happened Saturday night, tell him that she was a prisoner in her own home, show him the bruises on her wrists from where Linda had held her. But would he comfort her or think she was a baby? How far would Linda have to go for Jenny to get some sympathy from this guy?
JP picked up another knife from the ground. It was small for him, maybe eight inches long, with a dark wooden handle carved with deep swirls. “You want?” he asked.
Jenny approached him and took the knife in her hand. She turned it over and back to inspect the tiny weapon.
“Just pull it over your shoulder . . .” He mimicked the movement for her. “And heave it. Like you’re casting a fishing rod.”
Jenny lifted the knife over her shoulder as instructed. “I’ve never been fishing.” She grunted as she hurled the knife toward the tree. The handle hit the trunk, and the knife went flying.
“It takes practice,” he explained, walking toward the trees. “So, what’s up with the money?” he asked, bending down to grab Jenny’s errant knife.
Jenny regretted telling him about the money. Now she was going to look like a failure. “It’s not going to work out.”
“Of course not,” he mumbled.
He didn’t believe in her. Did he think she’d made the whole thing up? This was bullshit. She wanted credit for finding Gil, for meeting him, for being so brave, for doing something.
“Look, I went and met the guy in Lansville. It’s just not going to work, OK? He was a jerk.” She wanted him to ask more. Didn’t he hear that he was a jerk? Doesn’t he want to defend her honor?
“It’s fine,” JP said, walking back with the knives cradled in his arms like firewood. “I wasn’t counting on it anyway.”
“You didn’t think I could get the money?” He had so little faith in her and it was driving her mad. He was nothing, just a loser. She was Jenny Kennedy.
“I didn’t say that.” He dropped the knives at his feet. “I’m just not going to rely on anyone, especially you.”
“What do you mean especially me? At least I had an idea. You’re just talk. You probably don’t even know anyone in Mexico. You just made that up so you can sound cool. Well, forget it. I’m gonna go wait for the bus.” Jenny turned and stomped away.
She heard him running, but didn’t turn back until he grabbed her arm and whipped her around. It wasn’t the way Linda grabbed her. Or Gil. It was firm but soft, and as soon as she was facing him, he loosened his grip almost completely.
“It’s not made up, OK? I’m gonna go. I’m gonna get out of here and do something,” he almost whispered. His face was different: There was no grin; his eyes were wide. He leaned in and kissed her. It was a straight face-press, no tongues, no moving heads back and forth, a direct delivery for the count of five. He pulled back, looked at her for a beat, then walked away.
Jenny touched her lips as if he had left something behind. Her first kiss. She thought she liked it. She liked that he had kissed her instead of some asshole like Trevor Larson, but the act was weird, like walking into a glass door. Wasn’t this where he told her she was pretty, or that he loved her? Instead, JP went back to throwing knives.
She took two steps back toward the driveway, enough to regain his attention.
“Was that your first kiss?” he asked.
She debated lying. A lot of girls in her class had boyfriends. Mallory was giving blow jobs in the stairwell, but JP once told her she didn’t have to pretend around him. “Yes,” she admitted.
“Nice.” He nodded without looking at her. “I figured. That’s why I didn’t use any tongue. It can be a lot.” With that, he let another knife fly.
Was he being considerate or judgmental? Why was he so hard to read? How many girls had he kissed? Any combination of words seemed like a gamble, so Jenny stayed quiet and waited for him to decide the next move.
JP threw three more knives before gathering them up and placing them back in his hiding spot behind the flat rock. She followed him to the back porch, where he grabbed his backpack. She wondered if they’d ever speak again.
“Do you have a passport?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“No, but my sister does.”
“Good.” He quickened his pace and they headed for the bus. “We’ll need it.”