Find Out How Well Your Partner Really Knows You!
Few of us believe our partners know everything about us—and that’s a good thing. A certain air of mystery is essential for keeping interest and sexual tension alive. He doesn’t need to know, for example, every page in every chapter in your sexual history book. But it’s important that your partner truly gets the essential core of your being. It’s the way, experts say, we develop real intimacy and relationship resilience. What’s most crucial to know? Your values, priorities, and basic views on life are essential. This quiz will reveal just how much your partner knows about you and vice versa.
Caveat: Don’t take offense if either of you scores particularly low. Use the test as a jumping point for discussions to learn more.
INSTRUCTIONS:
Take the quiz. Circle the answers you believe your partner will give. Once you complete the test, pass it to your partner. Whenever there is an answer that is in agreement, mark the X; incorrect answer, mark the O. Add up all the X’s and then read the analysis. Switch roles and have your partner check the answer he or she believes you will give. Then mark. Analysis and advice follows.
1 With an hour of spare time, my partner would like to:
a. Read.
b. Watch television.
c. Go for a walk.
____ X ____ O
2 My mate would choose this on the menu:
a. Pasta or fish
b. Burgers and fries
c. Salad
____ X ____ O
3 The radio is tuned to:
a. Music.
b. News or talk radio.
c. The radio isn’t on.
____ X ____ O
4 If a lost kitten was found, my honey would most likely:
a. Keep it until a home was found (posting signs, asking around, etc.).
b. Keep it forever.
c. Feed it, and let it go.
____ X ____ O
5 My lover’s politics are mostly to the:
a. Left.
b. Center.
c. Right.
____ X ____ O
6 What’s most important to your mate?
a. A creative pursuit
b. Career
c. Family and relationships
____ X ____ O
7 When it comes to the death penalty, my paramour:
a. Is wholly opposed to it.
b. Takes each case on an individual basis.
c. Supports it.
____ X ____ O
8 Which statement best describes your partner’s philosophy of life?
a. It’s a bowl of cherries.
b. It’s a journey.
c. It’s just a dream.
____ X ____ O
9 Which of these rides would your honey like to hitch?
a. Around the track in a sports car
b. Sailing high in a hot air balloon
c. Snowboarding down a powdery mountaintop
____ X ____ O
10 If my partner ran into an old lover on the street, they would probably:
a. Stop and chat.
b. Go for a drink.
c. Ignore each other or just nod hello and walk on.
____ X ____ O
Analysis
3 X’S OR LESS
You’re still somewhat in the dark about what makes your partner tick. It might mean you’re taking it slow, one of you is guarded, or the other isn’t paying enough attention. In any case, it’s time to earnestly dig deeper.
ADVICE
To help the door open wider:
• Become a good listener. It’s not always necessary to respond with your point of view. It’s more important to open your heart to what your partner is expressing.
• Reserve judgment. It’s human nature to remain guarded if we think someone is going to pounce on our views.
• Simply ask questions. Showing a real interest in someone’s feelings and attitudes is the best way to keep the river of communication flowing.
4 TO 7 X’S
You have a pretty good sense of who your partner really is—but there are some areas as yet unexplored or misconstrued. Go over the questions one by one to figure out where there’s a gap and then be open to exploring each other’s views deeply and without holding back.
ADVICE
To get to know each other better:
• Share more quiet time. Turn down distractions—whether they’re the television, the Internet, or your cell phones—and enjoy some open-ended discussions.
• Invite long-time friends and family for dinner. This is a great way to uncover some old secrets.
• Tune in to body language. You’re probably missing silent messages so bone up on unspoken cues. Check out this site: http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Body-Language
8 X’S OR MORE
When it comes to your lover, you’re tuned in. You have a real knowledge of your mate’s values and priorities; even if you don’t always see eye-to-eye, your understanding and acceptance is very much appreciated. This kind of intimacy bodes well for an enduring relationship, but there are always things you can do to give it an even bigger boost.
ADVICE
To grow even closer:
• Create a regular date night. Couples who know each other well tend to start taking each other for granted. Keep the flame alive by setting aside one night a week just for romance.
• Go on an adventure. It doesn’t have to be three weeks in Marrakech, but you want to build lasting memories together. Consider going on a walking tour of your city, hiking up a mountain, even sharing an exotic meal—one that you’ll both remember.
• Celebrate with a handmade gift. Next time a birthday or anniversary rolls around, create a gift that is one of a kind. Personal presents are cherished forever.