What Kind of Relationship Do You Really Want?

When you get together with your girlfriends, do you talk about your dream guy? The kind of man who is faithful, romantic, a big-time breadwinner, handsome, stable, and makes you burn with desire? Well, except for the last attribute (what girl isn’t looking for that?) you might be kidding yourself. Psychologists say most of us are drawn to a particular type of man based on issues stemming from our earliest relationships—probably with one of our parents. So even though you may claim to want Mr. Perfect, you might really be on the lookout for Mr. Not-So-Great. Read on and get advice on how to discover what you really want.

PART ONE

1 Basically, you’re attracted to a certain kind of guy. He’s:

a. A hunk—tall, dark, and handsome; real swoon material.

b. A lamb—sweet, sensitive, and sensual; not gorgeous, but always gracious.

c. A bad boy—romantic and riveting; he plays the field and is a high scorer.

2 Let’s say you meet a man who lets you know he’s not interested in getting serious. Do you think:

a. Maybe that’s what he thinks now, but I know I can change him.

b. I’ll stick with him for a while, but if the situation remains stagnant, I’m splitting.

c. So long. I’m not interested in a frivolous affair.

3 When you were a teenager, what did you love to read?

a. Adventure stories

b. Sappy romances

c. Celebrity biographies

4 And when you surf the net these days, you spend the most time on:

a. Self-improvement pages.

b. Newspapers and political blogs.

c. Celebrity gossip sites.

5 On average, how long do your liaisons last?

a. More than five years

b. More than six months

c. Five weeks, tops

6 Your very best friend introduces you to her new boyfriend, and (horrors!) you instantly feel uncontrollably attracted to him.What do you do?

a. Flirt

b. Fantasize

c. Forget it

7 You feel most comfortable wearing:

a. Lace and velvet.

b. Silk and satin.

c. Pure cotton and cashmere.

8 Which of these statements best describes your feelings about love?

a. It needs to be cultivated if you want it to last.

b. If you keep your heart open, it’s always available.

c. It’s a wonderful once-in-a-lifetime experience.

SCORING

1. a-5   b-3   c-7

2. a-7   b-5   c-3

3. a-3   b-7   c-5

4. a-7   b-3   c-5

5. a-3   b-5   c-7

6. a-7   b-5   c-3

7. a-5   b-7   c-3

8. a-5   b-7   c-3

PART TWO

Give yourself 3 points for each of the following statements with which you agree.

1 I’ll stay interested in a man—even if he’s not available.

a. Agree   b. Disagree

2 When I see couples kissing in public, I’m inspired.

a. Agree   b. Disagree

3 Nothing makes me feel more glamorous than falling in love.

a. Agree   b. Disagree

4 The world would be a better place if we were ruled by our hearts, not our heads.

a. Agree   b. Disagree

5 I know practically all the lyrics to the latest love songs.

a. Agree   b. Disagree

Add scores from Part One and Part Two.

Analysis

UP TO 39 POINTS

Sensible and down-to-earth, you know the difference between love and a light-hearted fling. But rather than searching for romance, you let it find you—and when it does, you embrace it with open arms and an open heart. Not one to fool yourself, you never pretend you can change a man. You know better. That’s probably why you’re likely to fall in love for life. It’s not the thrill of romance that makes you feel alive, but the cozy comfort of a calm relationship. The lucky man who chooses you as his partner will share the warm, simple values of family life.

40 TO 55 POINTS

You try hard to distinguish between innocent flirtation and real-life romance, but unfortunately, you sometimes confuse love with lust. You’re optimistic and trusting by nature and perhaps that’s why you fall for more lines than Little Red Riding Hood. Some men really are the big, bad wolf, though you might pretend otherwise. (’Fess up: you sometimes enjoy being fooled!) Though you really believe you’re looking for the love of a lifetime, a part of you still wants drama more than a gold ring. You’re not ready to settle down right now—so accept it and just enjoy yourself.

56 POINTS OR MORE

No two ways about it, you would rather fall in love than be in love. You’re addicted to the thrill of the new and still mysterious romance. Once a relationship starts to grow, you get bored and begin the hunt all over again. In actuality, commitment and security are scaring you away. That’s why you must have romance in your life, or you’re likely to feel empty, worthless, and at odds. It may be a hard lesson to learn, but it’s probably low self-esteem that keeps you addicted to love. You need to build inner confidence. Start today by making a list of your strengths and keep it growing. Before long you’ll start a new chapter in your life.