View the Positive Side of Your Relationship—In the Movies!

Depending upon where you point your lens, a relationship can appear to be a full-fledged romance or a fatal attraction. After all, our perceptions are what guide us. In fact, research shows that our classic romantic movie-match can actually identify the best parts of our own relationship. Take this quiz developed with Carolyn Kaufman, Psy.D., a clinical and media psychologist, and discover which film reveals the upside of your guy.

1 The last time you were working on a big clean-up project together, you:

a. Put the task on your calendar and got to it on the date set.

b. Did it bit by bit until the job was finished.

c. Tackled it on a whim.

2 If he were trying out a new route home and you ended up lost, would it likely mean:

a. He would return to the tried and true route the next time.

b. He’d learn from his mistake and try again.

c. He’d laugh about it and ask your advice.

3 If you were going to take a class together, would you choose:

a. A seminar on something practical.

b. An inspirational workshop on making dreams come true.

c. A creative hands-on class where you could collaborate.

4 If you were worried you weren’t going to remember an important appointment, could you rely on him to:

a. Remind you ahead of time.

b. Ask about it after the fact.

c. Forget about it, too.

5 What would you guys wear for a night out on the town?

a. Something understated and tailored

b. Put on the Ritz in an elegant way

c. Fun, attention-getting outfits

6 His favorite real-life stories are about:

a. Making noble choices that help others.

b. Persevering in spite of difficulties.

c. Finding happiness in any situation.

7 When the phone rings, who reaches for it first?

a. He does

b. You do

c. Usually both, simultaneously

8 You’re especially proud of his:

a. Courage and dedication to his dreams.

b. Loyalty to loved ones.

c. Playfulness and sense of adventure.

9 The biggest life lesson your relationship can help you remember is:

a. Doing what is right can be more rewarding than doing what you want.

b. You should never let go of your dreams.

c. Laughter can be more important than romance.

10 You would prefer to spend time with him:

a. Working on a worthy cause.

b. Designing a creative project.

c. Frolicking on the beach.

Analysis

MOSTLY A’S

IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WAS A MOVIE IT WOULD BE
CASABLANCA .

As a genuinely noble woman like Ilsa Lund, the heroine of Casablanca, your high ideals and commitment to always do the right thing keeps you centered and taking the high road. Your man meets you there in the same way that Rick Blaine sets aside his wild side to reach his higher self. “Practical yet warmhearted and down-to-earth, his priority is putting the well-being of those he loves first—and of course that means you!” says Kaufman. And he keeps his eye on the prize—willing to make sacrifices to reach important long-term goals.

ADVICE

• Help him to put himself first more often. Run a bath or offer a massage. Studies confirm we have more to give to others when we’re taking care of our own needs first.

MOSTLY B’S

IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WAS A MOVIE IT WOULD BE
GONE WITH THE WIND.

Just like the strong-willed and romantic Scarlet O’Hara, who does what she must to keep her home and family in tact, your Rhett believes in hopes and dreams and knows that willpower and perseverance gets him where he needs to go. Having a grip on destiny gives your man a real sense of power. He is a happy guy when he believes he is in control of his life. Feeling so confident can lead your man to multitask.

ADVICE

• To help him stay in balance, suggest he keep a list of priorities and limit his daily to-do list to four tasks. That way he’ll have more time to spend with you.

MOSTLY C’S

IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WAS A MOVIE IT WOULD BE
THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

It doesn’t take long for Captain Von Trapp and his seven unruly children to fall in love with Maria, their playful and musical new governess. Just like Maria, you’re loveable with a lively spirit, a good sense of humor, and the ability to find something positive in any situation. It’s the same for your man. Your common ground is your shared carefree, fun-loving outlook on life. The sound of laughter is one of your favorite things—and that’s why you appreciate his light-hearted approach to problems. Another bonus: laughter and optimism increase life expectancy.

ADVICE

• Everyone experiences a case of the blues once in a while, so if he has a bad day here and there, don’t twist yourself into a knot. It’s healthy to experience a wide range of emotions. And that goes for you, too.