When we write our thoughts down we make them clearer and firmer. This is especially true when it comes to our intentions and goals. That’s why it’s common for relationship experts to ask couples to create a “Wish List.” It’s a way of creating a mental blueprint of your ideal relationship. This can include traits, dynamics, hopes and aspirations, things you want to change, and stuff you wish you could set free. Anything that you believe will make your relationship stronger, more enjoyable, open, and enduring. Keep this list handy; whenever you get the inspiration, you can add to it.
Remember, you can make any wish you want. But don’t forget—wishes really do come true, so be sure to ask for things you truly want. And then, believe with all your heart that you’ll get it. One caveat: Don’t bother wishing for something in the past to change. For example, “I wish we didn’t fight about last night’s dinner.” Forget it. What’s done is done. Instead, focus on a new, healing future together, and begin again.
Here are some wishes to help you get the hang of it. But, of course, it’s best to create your own wish list, one that comes straight from your heart.
• I wish we could go on a romantic retreat.
• I wish for more financial security.
• I wish we enjoyed a hobby together.
• I wish we spent more time together.
• I wish we were more considerate of each other.
• I wish we would argue less.
• I wish we could work better as a team to get things done—like cleaning the house.
• I wish we were less critical of each other.
• I wish we had a stress-free life.
• I wish we had more time to relax.
• I wish we laughed more.
• I wish we could be totally honest with each other.
• I wish we could spend the day in bed making love.
WHICH OF YOUR WISHES HAVE ALREADY COME TRUE?
Relationship experts remind us that often we wish for what we already have. Sit quietly for a few minutes and then think about what you think you want, and if you may already have it. Allow gratitude to take the place of your yearning.
WHAT ARE YOU WISHING FOR THAT YOU MIGHT NOT REALLY WANT?
Remember the wise adage: “Be careful what you wish for because it may come true.” Allow yourself to imagine what life would be like if your wishes really did come true. You might want to revise your list. This exercise helps to clarify what you really want in your relationship and what you need to focus on in your life.
