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“Now you’re just stalling.” Ashley hiccupped through tears as she wrapped her arms around Chloe. “You really need to go.”
Chloe glanced apprehensively over her shoulder to where her father sat on the couch behind them. He hadn’t moved much in the past half hour as he blankly stared at the television. Sometimes, he appeared to be sleeping, but then his eyes would open, and he’d laugh at something on the screen. Cancer sucked. She couldn’t count how many times she’d said, “Fuck you, Cancer,” in her head over the past weeks.
“Are you sure you are okay, Daddy?” She asked. Ashley was right; she was just hesitating, grasping at straws for reasons to stay. A huge part of her dreaded when she thought about leaving. Yet the tiny other part of her said she needed to go.
Her father coughed, but it was through a smile. “I promise; I’m fine, sweetheart.”
Chloe gave her mother a wary glance, but she just returned it with a coaxing smile.
“Go along sweetheart. We are so proud of you.”
Chloe choked back her own tears. The day for her to fly to Europe to meet up with the band and the rest of the crew had come. Her dad had come down with a bad cough, so she’d asked Emelia if she could skip Amsterdam and meet them for the next show, in Ireland. Her flight left in a few hours.
Her father was feeling better, and honestly, he had made significant improvements in his health over the past couple of weeks. Chloe should have felt confident about her overseas journey, but she couldn’t stop the, ‘what if’s.’
“I just feel guilty,” she blurted out, her heart speaking for her mind.
She walked over to her father where he gently tugged her hand. “There’s nothing to feel guilty about sweetie.” He gave her a warm smile. “I want you to go and experience your life. You are young, and you have amazing opportunities. Your future is bright.” He laughed and then gave her a grin. “How many more platitudes do I have to shell before you finally get the picture?”
Chloe laughed. “Alright, Daddy. I get it. I’m going.” She playfully rolled her eyes as she stepped a few inches closer to the front door. “Well,” she stated breezily as she waved her hand abstractly into the air. “I guess I’m off.”
“Have a safe trip.” Ashley gave her one more bear hug and then, she was out the door, climbing into the taxi that would take her to O’Hare International Airport.
As her house became smaller and smaller, finally disappearing from view entirely, a mixture of excitement and regret filled her heart. It was time to embark on another adventure. She was excited to see how the future would unfold.
In the meantime, she could always call and FaceTime with her family to check in on her dad and see how things were going at home. She had options. Her father was right. Her future was bright. Now all she had to do was learn to embrace it.
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CHLOE STEPPED OUT INTO the Ireland afternoon. The air was different, crisper and fresh. She wrapped her cardigan around her arms and smiled, already feeling more awakened in this beautiful country. She hadn’t even left the airport yet.
She glanced up and down the drop-off and pick up area, looking for Emelia who was set to retrieve her in a rental car. Chloe couldn’t wait to visit the countryside and escape reality. She needed a fresh perspective, and along with it came a new landscape for her to appreciate and absorb.
A few seconds later, she spotted Emelia waving her hand out the window. Chloe beamed and walked towards the little maroon colored car, placing her bags into the trunk.
“We’re in Ireland!” She squealed delightfully as she climbed into the passenger side. She was already distracted and loving every minute.
“Isn’t it wild?” Emelia’s eyes danced with the same awed joy that pounded in Chloe’s heart.
“How have things been going?” Chloe asked, making conversation for the ride back to the hotel.
“Crazy.” Emelia shifted her weight in her seat and gripped the steering wheel. “You know that woman that Roman was dating? Alexis?”
Chloe swallowed hard. She nodded but wouldn’t meet Emelia’s gaze. She hadn’t known her name before, had preferred to just call her the sexy brunette.
“Yeah...sort of,” she trailed off.
“Well as it turns out, she was an ice-cold bitch.” Emelia waved her hands animatedly as she told the story of how Roman almost received the brunt end of an extortion plot against him for his money.
“Holy shit! I can’t believe it.” Chloe shook her head, ultimately dumbfounded. “Poor Roman can’t catch a break.”
“He was pissed,” Emelia stated, hashing out all the details of the plot to catch her in the act and get her to admit everything. “She ended up in jail” Emelia finished.
“Good.” Chloe scoffed. “It sounds like that’s where she belongs in the first place.”
“Uh-huh,” Emelia nodded as she pulled into the hotel parking lot.
It was tucked away down a charming cobblestone street and looked more like a quaint little bed-n-breakfast than a high profile, modern hotel. Things were looking up already. Chloe was relieved to know that Roman’s dashing fling with the sexy brunette was finally over and had ended quicker than it had begun.
Not that she was looking to hook up with him, but she was grateful that he was back on the market and hopefully on the mend. She couldn’t predict the future, but she knew that her heart would be more open to being pursued by him if things ventured down that path. She knew it was probably crazy to fantasize about Roman’s arms draped around her. He was busy with the tour and all the chaos swirling around him. He probably didn’t have time to entertain the idea of dating anyone right now, much less her.
She wished there was some way she could comfort and console him, to tell him everything would work out in the end and be alright. She hoped that someone would say the same for her, imagined Roman whispering seductively into her ear while he rubbed her back and inner thighs.
She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, hoping to erase those fantasies because they weren’t doing her any good, just making her yearn more for something she couldn’t have. Onward and upward. That was always her father’s motto, and she needed to live by it, now more than ever.
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AFTER THE SHOW THAT night, Chloe followed Trevor and Emelia to a local pub, O’Doyle’s. Chloe glanced up at the stone mortar on the outside of the building, and the black iron lanterns with gas flames were flickering and dancing inside.
She was in awe of the beautiful and cozy architecture surrounding Dublin. Everyone was friendly as they walked into the bar. She smelled the ripe scent of local draft beers and watched as men enjoyed the foamy amber liquid from huge glass mugs. Laughter swelled in the air, and excited energy ran through Chloe’s senses, igniting her. As soon as she saw Roman and the rest of the band, all her jet lag fatigue drained away.
“Hi, you,” she grinned as she approached him, nudging him in the hip with her own.
Chloe wasn’t the shy type. She was chatty and friendly with everyone, shining her bright personality on naturally. She wanted everyone to be happy, and Roman was indeed no exception to that rule.
“Chloe!” Roman nearly spit his beer out all over her as he startled at the sight of her.
He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a gentle squeeze. “It’s so good to see you. I wondered when you were going to join us.”
“You did?” She hated the squeaky desperation that escaped her throat, partially revealing her attraction to the hunky blond drummer. Her skin went hot, the needy ache between her legs growing stronger. He had satisfied that ache once.
“Hell yes, I did.” He embraced her in another hug before pulling away.
He seemed in much better spirits than the last time she saw him, almost carefree. If he had gotten rid of the baggage of his relationship with the brunette, she could understand why he might feel unchained.
“Do you want a beer?” He asked. “We have people for that, you know,” he boasted playfully.
Chloe chuckled. “Sure. I’ll have whatever you recommend.” It wasn’t like she was experienced in Ireland craft beers.
“I’ll be right back,” Roman chimed. “Stay right where you are!” He walked to the bar, turning to look back as if he were afraid she was really going to leave.
She gave him a little wink and a wave. “I won’t move a muscle.”
She knew that he was probably already buzzed, glowing in the adrenaline after the show. She’d seen that type of behavior in the band before. It was just their way to release the tensions of the day and the stress of performing. She wondered whether he would be so kind to her if he wasn’t already a little tipsy. She shoved the idea to the back of her mind. She was here to have a good time, and she wasn’t going to let doubts ruin her fun.
Chloe was standing next to Emelia, discussing whether they would have time to do any sightseeing while they ventured to each of the venues. Chloe loved the idea of being a tourist all through Europe, wandering around while she embraced the culture of each city. One of the perks of this job was all the amazing things she would get to see including the hot man walking toward her, beer in hand.
“Here’s your beer.” Roman handed the mug to her.
“Thank you so much,” Chloe smiled as she took a hearty sip. The alcohol slid down her throat, nice and cool and landed in her belly, spreading a delicious warmth through her veins. “Wow,” she raised her eyebrows in surprise, glancing at Emelia. “That’s better than I expected.”
“Cheers!” Emelia chimed as she raised her glass to clank against Chloe’s.
Chloe turned around to cheer with Roman but noticed he had drifted off across the bar to talk to some fans. She frowned but tried not to let it get her down. It was only fitting that he would become distracted in a setting like this, especially if he had fans fawning all over him.
She engaged with Trevor and Emelia, having a blast while they talked about future tour dates and imagined all the beautiful cities they had yet to visit and explore. Things were still looking up, no matter how much she privately pined after Roman.
After a while, she decided that she needed to be brave. If she wanted things out of life, she would have to pursue them herself. Nothing was going to jump into her lap, including opportunity. Or Roman.
She shuffled through the crowd, bumping elbows and shoulders with people in her attempt to make way to the one person she couldn’t get out of her head.
“Hi,” she wandered over to Roman, gave him a light brush of her hand against his arm.
Much to her relief, Roman’s eyes twinkled with amusement as soon as he glanced down at her. Chloe was on the short side, more petite than the usual woman. Roman was easily over six feet, towering at least a foot over her.
“Having a good time?” Roman flirted over his glass as he sipped his beer.
“I’m having an excellent time, and I’m happy to see that you are too.” She affectionately poked him in the shoulder.
He shrugged. “One day at a time, right? That’s all we can do.”
His statement couldn’t be more accurate. It was simple, easy and an excellent way to view life. He glanced at her with a humble smile, and she wished that she could take his face between her slender hands and pull him in for a passionate kiss.
She wanted to erase all the pain of his life with one single touch of her lips against his. She knew it wouldn’t be that easy. These kinds of things took time, but she was willing to wait it out and be patient for as long as it took. There wouldn’t be any harm in offering to be there for him, though. After all, what are friends for? If something progressed from there, so be it. She’d happily take that on if it happened.
“Right,” she nodded in agreement. “It’s the only way to live.”
“To one day at a time,” he finally raised his glass to clink with hers in celebration.
“One day at a time...” she whispered, trailing off as the joy of the moment swallowed her whole.