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He didn’t recognize her.
Chloe cautiously approached Roman, slowing her stride to a crawl, making the last-minute decision to cool her jets. His expression was wary, cooling her enthusiasm for waltzing up to him like she usually did. Maybe he didn’t want company—something in his eyes said he didn’t—but he’d already seen her, and it was too late to turn around now.
Realizing she still had the hoodie of her jacket over her face, she pulled it off her head. No wonder he seemed wary of her. He didn’t recognize her. She smoothed back her hair and smiled. She wanted to say, “Hey, it’s just me!” but that would be stupid, so... God, she just wanted to be next to him.
Every fiber in Chloe’s body was compelled to embrace him, to run her hands through his wavy blond hair and whisper to him that everything would be alright, that the rollercoaster of pain and torment wouldn’t last forever.
She was desperate to help him, but she didn’t know if he would let her. But then he recognized her, and the suspicion dropped from his features, turning the lines around his eyes soft, and his hard-lined mouth into a smile.
“Hi Roman,” she tossed him a sheepish wave.
“Chloe? What are you doing out here?”
It had started to drizzle, a heavy mist hanging in the air that dampened her hair and clung to her eyelashes.
She shrugged, hoping she wasn’t being too forward. “I came to find you, actually.”
The concern was back. “Why, is something wrong?”
She touched his arm, retracted when she saw a brown smear down the fabric. Poor guy, always on the defensive, expecting the worst. “No, nothing’s wrong. I just thought we could keep each other company.”
He looked down at her, and the brightness of his eyes made her catch her breath. Suddenly, his hand slid into hers, threading their fingers. Sparks flew through her, but she leveled her breathing. It felt nice to have his palm against hers. They walked for a bit, enjoying the crash of the waves against the sea break.
“You know,” Chloe said quietly. “I’ve been told that I’m pretty liberal with giving out poor advice. So, if there’s anything you want to talk about, I can give you some cheesy advice that you’ll never use.”
“Oh, really?” The lilt in his voice made her insides go warm.
“Really!”
He pulled her in closer. “So, you’re a good listener, a bad advice-giver, and beautiful to look at. What more could I possibly need?”
“Um, maybe a clean jacket?” She glanced down at the stains. “What’s... that smell?”
“Oh, that would be goat shit.”
They looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“What? Seriously?” Instant heat flushed Chloe’s cheeks.
“Let’s just say that I tried to touch a goat and it didn’t end up well for me. Maybe I should have had you with me to steer my bad decision making in another direction.”
Chloe smiled. She loved his sense of humor. “How about if we go sit on those rocks over there and I keep you from being swept out to sea?”
She pointed to the seawall. “It looks peaceful over there.”
“It is,” Roman nodded. “There’s something about the ocean and breathing in the salty air. It’s therapeutic.”
“You took the words to describe it right out of my mouth,” Chloe grinned. “Come on.” She took a leap of faith and tugged him along after her. It might have seemed like a platonic gesture, but her heart was pounding.
He followed easily behind her, seeming not to mind that she was leading, his fingers gripping hers in a way that made her feel safe. Blessed.
“Just be careful,” Roman advised as they climbed down the rocks, holding onto each other as they maneuvered across the slippery surface. “These things are like wet boulders of death.”
“Sounds like your next band name.” Chloe laughed. “I’ll just hold onto you as tight as possible if you don’t mind.”
He gave her a slight tug. She turned to look back, finding his eyes intense and full of heat.
“I don’t mind at all.”
He glanced back at her with a smile that made her heart skip a beat and sent a wave of excitement up her spine.
“This looks good,” he suggested, pointing down.
“It’s as good as any spot,” she shrugged.
“Better than that one,” he glanced across the way at a pile of rocks that looked like it was so steep that it might create an avalanche and topple over any second.
Roman helped her sit down first, noting that he still had a chivalric bone in his body, unlike all the other guys shed ever dated. She didn’t understand why Roman portrayed such a hard image on the surface, but as soon as she cracked the shell, she was left with the soft, delicious center.
She smiled as she pictured biting into a Cadbury egg as the sweet treat melted in her mouth. Roman was her Cadbury egg.
“What are you grinning about?” Roman asked, glancing at her curiously.
Chloe blushed, hurriedly busying herself by inspecting the side of a rock that had begun to erode. “Nothing...” she stammered.
Roman sat next to her. She tucked her knees up to her chest and snaked her arms around her legs, inhaling deeply of the sea air. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I am truly sorry for all the shit that’s been happening to you recently.”
Roman was quiet for a moment, his eyes fixated on the water in front of them. She held her breath and waited for him to respond. When it was clear that he was going to opt for the silent route, she spoke again.
“I know what you are going through.” She immediately wished she could redact the statement. “Well,” she blurted out hastily. “Please allow me to rephrase. What I meant to say was, I am going through some shit, too.” She swallowed hard and glanced at the slippery rocks in front of her.
Roman glanced at her, and for the first time gave her a look of complete understanding.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m really sorry about your father’s cancer. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to have to deal with that stress, wondering from day to day whether he’s going to be alright or take a turn for the worst.”
She turned away so that he wouldn’t see her grimace. She’d come so close to tears. It wasn’t a strikeout, but his words were a brutal reminder of her surreally imperfect reality.
“I think you’re really brave.” He searched her eyes, what he was looking for she wasn’t sure of.
“You do?” She stretched her legs out in front of her, staring down at her white Nike tennis shoes.
“Yeah.” Roman nodded. “It takes courage to go through such a stressful family situation and leave them to come here for another purpose.”
Chloe inspected Roman as he scratched the bridge of his nose and gave her a kindhearted smile.
“You're strong too,” she grinned. “You’ve been through more rough patches than me.” She gently bumped shoulders with him.
Roman sighed and propped himself up on his elbows as he gazed fondly out to the Irish sea. “I’m a guy though.”
Chloe laughed. “Oh please. What does that have to do with anything.”
Roman gave her a teasing glance as if he knew he was trapped but relished in the idea of messing with her. “Nothing...”
“You’re terrible,” Chloe taunted. She wasn’t sure whether they were flirting with each other, but something in the back of her mind blazed with intense heat and attraction for him during their playful banter.
She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him to run his hands through her hair, telling her that he wanted her. It would never happen. She was dreaming big. She couldn’t set her hopes up, especially since she was the one who had shot him down in the first place.
In some respects, the ball was really in her court. She knew that she’d explained the complication to him at the time. Standing on that beach with him in Hawaii as the dusk settled in upon the island really seemed like both yesterday and a million years ago at the same time.
Now here she was, sitting on wet and slippery cold rocks on a dreary Ireland morning. The setting and the landscape were different, but the song of her heart was the same. Here she sat, right beside Roman, miles away from where they first met and miles away from where they’d shared a first kiss.
She cupped her hand over his and squeezed, smiling at him in a defiant act of bravery.
Opportunities didn’t come knocking. That would make life too plain sailing, effortless. Chloe knew that if you wanted something in life, you had to go after it.
But she was still on the fence about how Roman might feel about her these days, especially after all he had been through. She took a chance, a leap of faith because his eyes were warm-hearted and brimming with compassion. She saw through his macho rock star image. Deep down, he was genuinely kind.
In Chloe’s mind, even if she had explained it before, Roman still deserved a well versed and valid explanation for everything that happened on that Hawaiian beach under the soft orange sunset.
“You know, I really wish I hadn’t blown you off in Hawaii,” she exhaled sharply.
Roman scoffed nonchalantly. “You didn’t blow me off.”
She gave him a spirited grin. “Are you just trying to save face right now?”
Roman waved a teasing, dismissive hand at her. “You wish.”
She smirked playfully, thoroughly enjoying his company. There were many circumstances in her life that she wished she could redo, but for the general consensus, she had no regrets.
Working through the demons was part of life, and every situation she’d been placed in was a chance to climb up the ladder of becoming a better person every day.
When a person finally achieved their goals, the climb would be even more worth it, because they would learn to appreciate the steps along the way.
“I think you are really beautiful,” Roman offered, surprising her at his blunt observation.
She held his gaze as her pulse swooshed loudly in her ears. “You do?”
A conflicted stare tormented his features. “I wish that I would have waited for you...” he trailed off as if he was afraid to reveal his true emotions.
“I’m still right here.” The words rolled off her tongue.
“That’s good.” Roman’s eyes took in her body, lingered on her lips. “I’m not planning on letting you get away again.”
Without thinking, she held her breath and waited. She knew it was coming as soon as he leaned in. His mouth was on hers in an intense rush of heat that blazed through her veins and ignited her soul.
She parted her lips invitingly, welcoming him in to explore her. This time, she couldn't resist. This time, she would indulge in the private dance of her heart. Her hands were on his face, gently stroking his cheeks all the way down to his chin.
She was flushed as they kissed on the top of the seaside rocks above the romantic scenery. A whisper in the depths of her mind told her to trust Roman. He would never hurt her.
If only she could believe her own thoughts, but nothing was ever that uncomplicated.
“Then don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t let me go.”