IT WASN’T SO MUCH what Kit had said but how she said it that froze Garret’s blood. Her words were tinged with sadness, but what really echoed in his head was how matter of fact she’d sounded. Dimly, he recognized that he’d been standing in the same place for a long time, frozen in the onslaught of information.
And then all that information, everything she’d shared, slowly filtered into his mind and formed a story. Only it wasn’t fiction. And at the thought of Kit being used, yet again, fury ripped through him.
“What the hell, Forrester?” he said, turning on his partner.
Caleb was sheet white and backing away from him. The island stood between them, but Caleb was smart enough to know that if Garret wanted to go for him, the granite centerpiece wouldn’t stand in the way.
“I didn’t, I...” His voice trailed off and he held up his hands in a defensive gesture. “I swear to god, I didn’t know. Any of it,” Caleb clarified.
Garret felt the tension in his own body coiling through his arms and squeezing his chest. But he forced himself to look at Caleb, take a deep breath, and try to figure out what the hell had just happened. And though he wasn’t inclined to admit it, the way Caleb looked—pale and maybe even a little bit scared, slowed the pounding anger into a steady thud.
“You knew something,” Garret pointed out. Caleb shot him a wild look, then spun away from him, though he didn’t move to leave the room. Finally, after a long moment, Caleb ran his hands over his face, laced his fingers behind his neck and let his head fall back.
“I think I’m gonna be sick, Cantona,” he said.
Garret studied the line of his friend’s back. “No,” he said after a moment. “No, you’re not. You’ll figure this shit out and when you’ve made things right with Kit, if you can make them right, then you can get sick. But right now, your sister is more important than anything you’re feeling.”
And Garret believed that too. He was even pretty sure Caleb believed it, but he had to admit that the magnitude of what had been said in this room was probably beyond anything Caleb had ever experienced. The guilt alone might do him in.
“Why did you ask her about Henry Michaels?” Garret asked.
It was so long before Caleb finally turned around that Garret had been just about ready to repeat himself.
“Michaels?” Caleb repeated as he shook his head, possibly trying to shake it all off. “Remember? I recognized him on the tarmac of that deal we watched just before we came here.”
“And?”
“And the other guy, one of the other guys,” Caleb clarified, “was someone who had cropped up when I went off to investigate what my dad was into. So when I saw the two of them together, I just,” again, his voice trailed off.
“You just wondered how someone who was involved with your dad all those years ago and one of his old friends ended up on a South American tarmac with illegal weapons some fifteen years later,” Garret supplied.
Caleb gave a sharp nod.
“Any chance that guy, not Michaels but the other guy, showed up a few months before your dad died?”
Again, Caleb nodded.
“So he was probably the spook Dani and Drew sent in once Kit handed over her father’s, your father’s, papers.”
Caleb gripped the back of a stool. “Probably,” he conceded, not sounding at all happy about it. Not because he was unhappy that the intelligence communities already seemed on top of whatever it was Michaels was into, but more likely because, had he known they were already involved, he never would have confronted Kit. Never would he have forced her to relive that part of her life.
But even in the few short minutes that had passed, Garret was beginning to think that maybe it hadn’t been such a bad thing to get everything out in the open. Obviously he wished the events themselves hadn’t happened—he felt like he could take something, or someone, apart if he let his mind actually begin to contemplate everything Kit had gone through. But they had. And nothing was going to change that. What might change was Caleb and Kit’s relationship and maybe, just maybe, her relationship with Garret. It was hard to hide behind a wall after shining the light on everything.
“But what about now?” Caleb asked, the question sounding more habitual than out of any real curiosity.
Garret gave this a moment of thought, but it didn’t take too long for him to land on a decent theory. “My guess is that Drew keeps an eye on things your father was involved with. He and Kit seem close, and we know now that they’ve known each other since she was seventeen. I bet Drew got wind of Henry Michaels trying to enter the game and sent in the same guy they used the first time to figure out what was going on. Based on his friendship with Kit, I wouldn’t be surprised if Drew does this as a matter of course. She might not even know, probably doesn’t even know,” he amended, “that Drew does that sort of thing.”
Caleb seemed to contemplate his statement, but as he did so, Garret began to feel edgy. He’d let Kit walk away because it had felt as though they all needed some time to process what had just been said. And in Caleb’s case, what it all meant.
And though Garret hadn’t necessarily sorted through everything yet, he had done enough that Kit, who was never far from his thoughts, was moving back into them, front and center. And he needed to be with her. More than he had needed anything else in his entire life.
Without a second thought, he moved toward the stairs leading to her room.
“Where the hell are you going?” Caleb barked.
Garret didn’t bother to turn around or even answer. What would he say, anyway? So he kept walking until he reached her door. Leaning against it, he heard the sound of her shower running. After stopping off quickly in his own room, where he kicked off his shoes and removed his sweater, he returned to Kit’s door and quietly entered room.
The shower was still running, but the bathroom door was open so he approached and leaned against the doorframe, waiting. After a few moments, Kit turned the water off and stepped into view at the entry to her walk-in shower.
As she reached for her towel, she caught sight of him. Her hand froze. She stood like that for a moment, then grabbed the towel. He wanted so much to go to her, to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything would be okay. But even from where he stood, he could feel her pushing him away, so he remained at the door.
“I always feel so dirty when I talk or think about that time in my life,” she said, running the towel over her wet hair. She didn’t bother to try to hide the rest of her body and so, with the exception of parts occasionally hidden by the towel, Garret was gifted with the sight of her.
“None of it is your fault,” he said, “but that doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to feel how you feel.”
Her eyes caught his for a moment, then bounced away. He could feel her defensiveness relaxing just a bit when he didn’t push, but still, he didn’t trust himself to go to her now—she might not resist as much as she would have just a few seconds ago, but with the strength of what he was feeling for her at this moment, he feared he would overwhelm her.
“That’s what Baresi meant, wasn’t it?” Garret asked instead of reaching for her. “You went to him after you left your father’s house. After he died,” he clarified.
Kit stepped out of the shower and wrapping the towel around herself, walked toward him. Stopping a few feet away, she looked at him and spoke.
“I met Marco in a bar in Rome one night. After the funeral, as soon as I had access, I’d taken some of the trust money my mother had left me. A few months later, I found myself in Italy. We talked, we became friends, and then yes, we became more.” She took another step toward him; he could smell the musky scent of her shampoo and feel the heat from her water-warmed body.
“He was good to you?” he managed to ask.
“Yes,” her answer was instant. “He was,” she added softly. He watched her as her mind seemed to travel back to that time. When she spoke again, her voice was filled with the weight of her memories—only this time they weren’t all bad. “He taught me about trust and respect and, yes, even love,” she said. “But I think the most important thing he taught me was that sex, and maybe even love, didn’t have to be tainted. It didn’t have to be soiled by greed or pride or arrogance. He taught me to give as freely as I chose to give and to take what I needed from a partner. He taught me that being physical with someone didn’t have to be a war that someone won and someone lost, but that it could be a dance, something shared. He taught me all of that when I most needed to learn it,” she added, her voice soft. “And in learning that, I also learned so many other things about myself—what I wanted and who I was. He said he healed me once before and he wasn’t lying, Garret. I was broken when we met, and he helped me put the pieces back together into something that was better than what I had started with.”
Garret reached up and brushed a lock of wet hair from her face; it was all he would allow himself. “For that, I am in his debt,” he said.
For a moment, she just looked at him, then she stepped forward, closing the space between them. She placed one of her hands on his chest and slipped the other behind his neck, pulling him forward until he dipped his head and his lips met hers.
All sorts of logic and reason screamed in his head, telling him that this wasn’t the time or the place. But it all took a back seat as her body leaned into him and she brought her other hand up, linking her fingers at the back of his neck. Instinctively, his arms wrapped around her waist.
“Kit,” he said, pulling away. He was unsure of where she wanted things to go. If she needed him to stop, he would. It would cost him dearly, but he would. “Tell me what you need,” he added before dropping his forehead to hers and looking her in the eye. He could feel the blood racing through his system and, try as he might, he couldn’t get it to quiet.
Her golden eyes stared up at him and for a moment, she said nothing. Then she spoke. “I need you to heal me, Garret. Remind me that everything that happened all those years ago wasn’t what it was supposed to be like. Remind me of how good something can be. Take me away from that place and that time, Garret. Help me make it better.”
“Kit,” he said on a breath. Did she even know what she was asking? He would give everything he could, but would it be enough?
“I know,” she said, touching his lips with a single finger. “I know it’s a lot, Garret. But I know, from the bottom of my soul, that you can do this with me. I need you to do this with me, Garret.”
And though it wasn’t how he had imagined things would go between them, it wasn’t the wine and roses and white tablecloth service he’d always imagined when he thought of being with Kit, he took one last look in her eyes and knew, beyond a doubt, that she wasn’t the only one who needed this.
***
Garret lay beside Kit, gently stroking her hair, her cheek on his chest. Everything they’d done in the last few hours was more than the sum of the individual acts. That much he knew. But he also hoped, lying there, feeling her body against his, that the honesty they had shown each other—that they had demanded of each other—was enough. Not enough to make her forget, he doubted Kit would ever forget what her father had done, but enough to help her remember, remember how good and true it could be between two people.
“Do you think my brother will be surprised?” she asked, referring to the fact that there was now no way they would be able to hide anything from Caleb. Garret let out a slow laugh.
“I think he’s probably already planning exactly how he will kick my ass,” he answered. Her head popped up.
She frowned. “Caleb long ago stopped looking out for me,” she said. When he said nothing in return, she gave him a little poke. “What?”
Garret lifted a shoulder against the cool sheets. “I just think that maybe there was more going on than you know about.”
She watched him for a long moment, then abruptly rolled away. “Undoubtedly,” she said. “There’s always more going on with him than I know about, which is part of the problem.”
“Kit,” he said, sitting up as she rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom. “I’m not defending him for leaving you there. God, no. I wanted to kill him myself not two hours ago. But your brother isn’t as complex as you think he is.”
She stopped by the bathroom door and, as if she suddenly felt very exposed, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her. Turning to face him, she leaned against the doorframe and arched a single brow. “In my experience, most men aren’t.”
He sat up more fully now and shot her a look. “Resorting to clichés is so beneath you, Kit.” He raised a hand to stop her next retort. “Caleb didn’t talk about you or your dad often, but when he did, it was usually a comment about how happy you were at home and how close you were with your dad, and how your dad doted on you. Like I said, Caleb never said much, but when he did, it was obvious he cared about you.”
“So much so that he left me with a man who was a criminal,” Kit shot back. He heard and even understood the bitterness in her voice, but still believed there was more to it. “I wasn’t there, Kit, so take what I’m saying for what it’s worth. But I do know your brother cares about you. A lot. I do know he thought you were happy at home.”
“And?” she pressed, crossing her arms over her chest.
“And I wouldn’t put it past him to have left because he knew what your father was but wanted to keep you out of it as much as possible. Wanted you to continue to have the life he thought you had.”
He was surprised when Kit didn’t immediately reject his suggestion; instead, she stood there, a far-off look on her face. He got out of bed, pulled on his boxers, and went to her.
“Kit?”
Her eyes came back to him and in them he saw her own questions, her own doubts. Finally, she gave a small shake of her head. “I don’t know, Garret. What you say actually does sound like Caleb, like the Caleb I knew all those years ago. If he actually thought he was protecting me by leaving, by keeping me away from whatever it was he was looking into about our dad, I can see that. But...” Her voice trailed off.
“But so much has happened since then it’s kind of hard to see the forest for the trees?” he offered.
She nodded. “I just don’t know anymore, Garret. Protecting me while I was young does sound like him. But then to stay away for so long?”
He heard the hurt and pain in her voice and wished he could explain it, but there was only one person who could do that.
“Why don’t you get dressed and go talk to him?” he suggested. A look of panic crossed her features. He cupped her face and tilted her eyes up to his. “You already laid everything out, Kit. If you and Caleb have any chance of repairing your relationship, of getting back what you had as kids, you need to let him tell his side of the story.”
She swallowed and after a few beats, nodded. “I’ll get dressed and be down in a minute. Can you go down and make some tea? Between the jet lag and the time of day and what we need to talk about, it could be a long night.”
He nodded, then kissed her forehead. “You’re an amazing woman, Kit,” he said.
She gave a small, sardonic laugh. “If only that were the case, but I’m glad you think so.”
And he did. He watched her move into the bathroom and start brushing the tangles from her hair before he dressed himself and prepared to meet her brother. He had no doubt that Caleb was going to go to extreme measures to make things right with his sister. That was just the kind of guy he was. But Garret was pretty sure Caleb wouldn’t be extending the same understanding to him.
And it didn’t take more than ten steps out of Kit’s bedroom for Caleb to confirm that for him. When he was halfway down the hall, Caleb came bounding up the stairs and sucker punched him with a mean left hook. Garret crashed against the wall, but didn’t otherwise defend himself. He could have, but he figured he’d let his friend get it out of his system.
He was just straightening up when Kit flung her door open and quickly took in the scene. He noticed she’d pulled on a pair of yoga pants and dark green sweater, but her hair still looked a little wild.
“Jesus, Caleb. What did you do?” she demanded, coming to Garret’s side.
Neither he nor Caleb answered. She raised her hand and gingerly touched what he thought was probably a pretty decent sized red mark on his cheekbone.
“Are you okay?” she asked him.
“He’s fine,” Caleb grumbled.
She turned and shot her brother glare. Garret thought Caleb looked suitably guilty.
“Come on, let’s get some ice on that,” she said, taking Garret’s hand and leading him to the kitchen. Caleb followed and soon enough, Garret was propped on a stool with Kit tending to him. He thought it might have been worth the hit just to have her nursing him, standing there looking concerned, holding a bag of ice against his cheek.
“He’s fine,” Caleb repeated.
Again, Kit glared at him. And in turn Caleb glared at Garret, who smiled.
“Jesus, he wasn’t such a baby when his arm all but got blown off a few years ago,” Caleb muttered.
“That’s because she’s a better caregiver than you are. Prettier. She smells better too,” Garret shot back.
Kit made a face. “I smell like sex,” she said quietly.
Caleb all but growled and Garret’s smile got wider.
“You,” she said with a pointed look at Garret, “don’t have to look like you’re enjoying this so much.”
“But I am,” he answered.
She gave them both one of those looks. “Well, I’m not. Caleb, why on earth would you do something like that?”
“Because he’s sleeping with you,” came his matter-of-fact reply. As if that alone explained everything. And it kind of did, to Garret. But Kit did not look so appeased.
“Right,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “As if you’ve never had sex before. Geez, Caleb, grow up.”
He grumbled something.
“And let’s get one thing clear, dear brother,” she continued, fixing him with a look. “Short of you needing to protect someone’s life, if you ever, and I repeat ever hit someone in my house again, or even on my property,” she amended, “you will not be welcome in my home.”
Caleb just stared back at her.
“Do you understand?” she demanded.
Finally, after a long pause, her brother gave a single nod.
“Good, now that that is out of the way, I think—” But she never got to finish her sentence. The bell indicating that someone was turning into her driveway rang.
With a frown, she handed Garret the ice bag and moved toward the security monitor she had in the kitchen. Garret watched as her head cocked to the side. He couldn’t see her face but judging by her body language, he’d wager she wasn’t sure about something.
“Kit?” Caleb seemed to sense the same thing.
She shook her head and turned around. “It’s nothing. Or rather, I think it’s nothing, but Drew is coming up the drive. He just,” she said with another glance at the monitor, “he just doesn’t usually visit without calling first. But I guess we’ll know why soon enough,” she added as they heard the car pull onto the parking pad.
Garret watched Kit, who looked more curious than concerned. Which was exactly what he was not feeling. Anxiety crept up his back and into his shoulders as the seconds ticked by. He didn’t like the idea of the agent coming to visit Kit unannounced. As far as he was concerned, it was a little like getting that middle-of-the-night phone call.
By unspoken agreement, he and Caleb stayed in the kitchen when Kit went to answer the door. One look at Caleb told Garret that his long-time partner was thinking the same thing—nothing good was going to come of this.
He heard Drew and Kit greet each other and then the sound of a kiss being given, a jacket being removed, and gloves coming off. A few seconds later they both walked into the kitchen.
Garret didn’t know what he had been expecting when he’d first heard about Drew, but it wasn’t this. The man looked like he’d just stepped out of some yuppie catalog or off some yacht. He was tall and lean. His blond hair was the right length to fall over his forehead just so and his blue eyes tracked Kit. Garret hadn’t been inclined to like him before meeting him. He liked him even less now.
Kit made the introductions, but none of the men offered to shake hands. Then, after a few seconds of awkward silence, Drew turned back to Kit.
“Kit, is there somewhere we can talk?” Privately was left unspoken.
Kit glanced at Garret, then at Caleb. Garret could tell from the look in her eyes that she was getting a bad feeling about this too. He was about to step in when she nodded to Drew.
“Yes, my office.”
Drew inclined his head and she gestured for him to follow.
“Kit?” Garret said, rising from his seat, not wanting her to go anywhere with a man who no doubt knew more than he should about the way the world worked. He didn’t want her exposed to that any more than she already had been.
“It’s fine, Garret. I’ll be right back,” she said before disappearing up the stairs with Drew following behind her.
He tracked their footsteps down the hall, through her room, and into her office, then heard the office door slide shut. He looked at Caleb.
“What the hell?” Caleb said. And again, Garret was struck by just how much this situation was stressing Caleb out. He’d heard him swear more times in the past two weeks than in the previous five years.
“Any idea what it’s about?” Garret asked.
Caleb drew back and made a face. “How the hell would I know? I just found out she has friends in the agency.”
“You can’t tell me you didn’t look into it while I was in Rome,” Garret pointed out.
Caleb shrugged. “Yeah, I did. No one seems to know much, but those who did know something didn’t seem to think,” he paused, presumably looking for the right word, “didn’t seem to think she was involved in anything more than what she told us. No reason for her to be in danger.”
“She carries information for the CIA. There’s always the possibility of danger,” Garret pointed out.
“Yeah, well, their view of danger is relative, and in their estimation, she isn’t in any.”
Garret considered this as they fell into an expectant silence. He didn’t like the direction his mind was taking, but until Kit came out and actually told them what was happening, he wouldn’t be able to keep his thoughts from going to all sorts of dark places.
Finally, he heard the office door slide open, but it wasn’t Kit who came down the stairs. Drew’s boots made an appearance and the man himself soon came into view. Taking a look at the two of them, he leaned casually against the wall and crossed his arms.
“Where’s Kit?” Caleb asked.
Drew’s eyes flicked to Caleb’s, held them for a moment, then landed on Garret’s face.
“She’ll be down in a minute. That’s some hit you took there,” he commented with a nod toward Garret’s eye.
Garret tipped his head.
“You hit him left-handed,” Drew added, directing his comment, if not his attention to Caleb.
“I’m left-handed,” Caleb countered.
“No you’re not,” Drew answered. “You’re mostly ambidextrous but your right hand is your lead.” On the surface it was an innocuous statement, but no one in the room was fooled. Drew had very subtly thrown down the gauntlet, letting them both know just how much he knew and what kind of detailed information he was privy to.
“But it’s not as though I haven’t been there before,” Drew added with a smile and a nod toward Garret’s bruised face, “Dani, who you met in London, and her sister Sam are like sisters to me. We grew up together.” His eyes danced to Caleb, then seemed to grow thoughtful. “Of course, with Dani there was a time or two when it was her I wanted to throttle,” he added.
“Ready?” Kit said, jogging down the stairs. Carrying an overnight bag.
Both Garret and Caleb shot out of their seats.
“Like hell,” Garret said. “You aren’t going anywhere,” he added, making a move to stop her. She ignored him and focused on pulling on her boots.
“Kit,” Caleb warned.
“Oh, stop,” she said, straightening and reaching for the coat Drew had retrieved for her. “You come and go all the time. And I mention that not to sound spiteful but to remind you that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Garret demanded. Then, rounding on Drew, he added, “Where the hell are you going because she sure as shit isn’t going without one of us.”
Drew tugged his gloves on with infuriating nonchalance. “I’m afraid she is. We’ve had a little chat and she’s agreed to come with me for a few days.”
“On company business?” Caleb demanded.
“Kit,” Garret said, trying to stop her.
“Ready?” Drew asked, ignoring Caleb’s question. Kit nodded.
“Jesus, Kit. You can’t just leave,” Garret erupted.
The look she gave him seared into his brain. She could and she would. But then her eyes seemed to soften and she stepped back into the kitchen. She walked up to her brother and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Caleb stood stalk still and Garret had no doubt his friend had no idea what to do—let her go or steal her away. He recognized the look because he could sympathize.
Then she approached Garret. Gently she brushed the hair beside his growing bruise. “Take care of that,” she said. He reached for her hand and she let him take it, if only for a moment. “I’ll be back soon,” she said. Then she leaned into him and brushed her lips against his.
He wasn’t sure how it happened, but the next thing he knew, the door was closing behind her and once again, he and Caleb were left in a hollow, empty silence.
The sound of Drew’s car faded into the distance and he brought his eyes around to Caleb’s. The gaze that met his wasn’t that of his friend. It was that of his partner of the last seven years, his colleague, his brother in arms. Without a word, they formulated a plan. They both knew what they had to do.
“I’ll make the calls,” Caleb said.
“I’ll make sure the plane is ready.”