When Laura shared with me that she was writing a book about her own experience with separation and divorce, I was anxious to read the final product. As a previous clinician and a current professor with a PhD in psychology and specialization in marriage and family, and having been through a divorce myself, I was excited about the new way Laura was approaching this difficult process. Laura looks at divorce from the perspective of someone who has gone through one. She isn’t an attorney or a therapist. She notes that divorce is a game changer, and it alters all aspects of our lives and the lives of those we love. Laura feels that most people tend to have common experiences when going through the process. She mentions those experiences in a straightforward manner, so that the reader might realize they are not alone.
Laura shares her personal experience of processing her separation and divorce. Often, hearing the story of someone who has been through a similar situation can help bring us clarity, encouragement, and a way to process our own thoughts and feelings. This book is not a substitute for seeking professional help from a lawyer, counselor, or parenting coach, but it does look at betrayal, divorce, and healing in a humorous and anecdotal way.
Laura is diligent to point out that we may need to seek professional help, particularly if we are experiencing obsessive or suicidal thoughts. As a professor of psychology and previous clinician, I wanted to emphasize the following note: We should not assume that suicidal thoughts are simply a phase if the thoughts are recurring and we consider harming ourselves or others. This is a time we need to seek medical attention immediately. We cannot let pride, embarrassment, or weakness get in the way of our personal healing, and some people need professional help to navigate this life change.
Divorce is a time of healing, growing, and moving on with our lives. We may experience pain, guilt, shame, fear, and a myriad of emotions that we need to work through. This is a continual process and happens at different paces for different people. Laura does well to provide anecdotes from several individuals about dealing with separation and divorce with the hope that you will understand that you are not alone in this journey.
Donna Busarow
PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Marriage and Family
Certified Guidance Counselor
Professor of Psychology, Liberty University