The Bible says this about forgiveness:
Mark 11:25
“When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them
So that your father in heaven may forgive your sins.”
Another perspective on forgiveness is this:
“Forgiveness is the decision to release a person from the obligation that resulted when they injured you”2
It may take a very long time, but hopefully you eventually get to a place where you can live fully again. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. Baby steps and the passage of time make a difference. We forgive others for ourselves, not for them. It’s a conscious act of letting go of the hurt. If you can forgive, you will have a happier, more productive life.
For better or for worse, your ex-spouse has given you the gift of your freedom. Essentially, they have given you your life back. Your future and your decisions are your own. This is liberation on the most basic level and it will affect every aspect of your life.
For many people, it’s terrible. It’s a terrible gift.
For years you have functioned as someone’s partner. Someone cared about what you did, and whether you were healthy and safe. Because of this partnership, you may have customized the way you did things, how you handled your finances, where you lived, how you parented your children. You were half of a two-person partnership. Suddenly your partner is gone.
Freedom is a gift. Make no mistake about that. You get a redo, a complete do-over. And yet, the silence is deafening, the path unfamiliar.
Many times enlightenment comes at a great cost. It’s opening an unknown door to see what is behind it.
There are two sides to every coin. It may seem incomprehensible to you now, but your ex gave you something of epic proportions when they handed your life back to you. What you do with this gift—terrible, unimaginable, and mammoth as it is—is up to you. Look at it as an opportunity to rechart the map of your life.
Hopefully this book has enlightened you and given you some tools and resources to use in your recovery and journey during a separation or divorce. The Accidental Divorcée has tried to share the very best of what she learned to help you get through this trying time.
Some of the information in this book may resonate with you and give you food for thought. Some information might not be applicable to you. That’s okay—use this book in whatever way is useful to you.
Sometimes getting over a relationship that defined your life is like a marathon. You just need to keep running the race, doggedly staying on the path. Phrases like “hang in there” come to mind. No matter how bad things get, just stay the course—and remember that others have proven over and over again that starting a new and wonderful life is possible. The tough times will pass.
I want to leave you with a phrase I love; during this crucial time, it might bring you some strength.
Hope springs eternal.