Rose sat at the kitchen table, waiting for Reen. Her sister glanced at her but didn’t bother getting up.
‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ Reen said, intending to go into the living room and lie on the sofa bed until she could figure out her next move.
‘You are going to talk about it,’ Rose said. ‘No more hiding, Reen.’
‘Oh, stop it.’ Reen held on to the embarrassment and hurt inside of her, morphing it into anger. It was the only way she’d be able to get out of this mess. She would build up the walls in her heart again and leave without a second look.
‘Reen,’ Rose said, fisting her hands in her lap. ‘This is serious. The fight could have seriously injured any one of you. Let’s talk about this.’
‘There’s nothing to talk about. Everyone is fine.’
‘You’re not fine,’ Rose said. ‘Why won’t you open up to me? I’m your sister—’
‘Since when?’ Reen said, wielding the words she knew would cut deep. ‘You’ve been on Mom’s side from the beginning.’
It had the desired effect. Rose’s shoulders dropped. ‘I’ve tried as hard as I could to keep this family together.’
‘I don’t know why,’ Reen said.
‘I know you’re upset about tonight. I’m sorry I accused you of anything, but this town isn’t used to stuff like this happening.’
‘Because The Burrow is the most special place in the world, right? It’s so perfect and quaint, and heaven forbid anyone disturbs the air around it.’
Rose shook her head. ‘I’m not going to do this if you’re going to mock me.’
‘Then let’s not talk about it,’ Reen said, pushing into the living room. She felt her sister’s presence in the doorway.
‘I’m here if you do want to talk. I know you don’t have many people who will understand.’
‘I have friends,’ Reen said, even though it was evident none of them would understand since Reen had never revealed much about her past to them. She’d thought it was easier that way until she fell into this situation.
‘Would you like me to stay with Shane tonight?’ Rose asked.
Reen shrugged. ‘Do whatever you want.’
‘I want to give you the space you need, but I don’t want you to skip town again while I’m gone.’
The temptation was great, but she wasn’t sure if she could do that just yet. She’d come here for Mom, and everything else had gotten in the way. ‘I’m not leaving yet.’
‘Good,’ Rose said, then sighed. ‘I’m exhausted. Good night.’
Reen dropped onto the couch and wrapped the soft quilt around her body without bothering to pull out the bed underneath. She lay down, squeezing her eyes closed, wishing she could forget about everything from today.
Nothing was easy for her. Brody’s face filled her mind, and even though they had many memories of happiness, she only recalled the last time she saw him. His sadness leached into her body as she drifted off to sleep.
#
The next morning, Reen woke in the same position she’d fallen asleep in. Nightmares had fueled her night, and even though she hadn’t moved, her hair clung to her damp forehead as she peeled herself off the sofa. The sound of percolating coffee gave her the strength to approach Rose in the kitchen. Her sister was already dressed for the day.
‘Morning,’ Rose chirped. ‘I’m going to visit Mom. Want to come?’
‘Sure.’ It wasn’t as if she had anything better to do. Brody wouldn’t be at the nursing home. It was everything after that she’d have to figure out.
Reen threw on some clothes and grabbed a mug of coffee. Rose was ready to go, but Reen needed caffeine before getting close to Mom.
Rose’s cell phone rang and Reen dipped her hand inside of her sister’s bag to grab it. Whinding House lit up the screen.
‘Hello?’ Rose answered.
Reen froze in her place, but Rose pitched forward, pressing her free hand against the table. Their eyes met. Rose’s wide with terror.
‘What is it?’ Reen mouthed.
‘Thank you,’ Rose said, motioning for Reen to get up. ‘Yes, we’ll be right there.’ Rose hung up and placed the phone on the table.
Reen expected some explanation, but nothing came out of her sister’s mouth. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Mom’s in the hospital.’
‘What happened?’
‘We’ll get more details when we get there.’
There wasn’t any forced conversation between them. Reen’s pounding heart was the only sound in her ears as they drove twenty minutes to the nearest hospital.
#
From the moment the phone call came in, Rose took charge. When they arrived at the hospital, she found the number to Mom’s room and navigated the building with Reen on her heels. The next hour involved flashes of conversations between nurses and Mom’s doctor. But all Reen could concentrate on was Mom and the various tubes protruding from her body. Her eyes were open, but that same faraway look Reen had become accustomed to peered into a void.
Along with her mind, the disease continued to damage her body as well. Reen felt the end was near and was in no way prepared for it.
For once, she was happy to have Rose with her. Even though she seemed strong, when her sister’s hand found hers, they squeezed each other as if all their lives depended on it.
#
Reen and Rose stayed with Mom for hours. They sat on either side of her, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she slept between visits from the nursing staff. Her breathing was slow and shallow, but it was something. Reen never liked to sit still for so long, but there wasn’t anything else they could do.
Rose talked to Mom as if she were sitting up, having tea with them, instead of sleeping. She told her about the fireworks, even though she’d left early after the scuffle with Darin and Brody, and about her relationship with Shane. Reen learned more about him in one conversation with their unconscious mother than ever before. It was her own fault for not caring to learn anything about her sister’s boyfriend.
The mundane conversation soothed Reen as well. It was as if she could forget everything about the outside world now that she had someone more important to focus on.
‘How about you get us some food?’ Rose asked. ‘The cafeteria is horrible here.’
‘How can you eat?’
‘It’s better than sitting here. I’ll call you if something changes.’
Reen unfolded her legs and stood. Her feet tingled with pins and needles. ‘I’ll be back soon.’
‘Take your time,’ Rose said, turning to look at their mother. ‘She’s not going anywhere right now.’
Reen wasn’t sure how Rose was so sure, but at least she could have a little time to process before returning.
#
Reen intended on going to a local restaurant and getting food, but when the car stopped, she found herself outside of her childhood home. Shane’s car wasn’t in the driveway, though she wouldn’t have minded taking him up on his offer to talk to her about what was going on in her life.
Thick gray clouds threatened in the distance. A reminder of how much her life had changed in two short days.
Tears coursed down Reen’s cheeks as she kicked off her sneakers and waded into the water. The calming movement didn’t fail her. It lapped over her shins, then her knees. She pressed on, knowing the exact moment she’d drop off into the water. The gray clouds above her blocked the sun, making the ocean appear more menacing than normal. The hem of her shorts dipped into the water. Reen closed her eyes and dove.
An unexpected swell of warmth moved through her as she kicked her feet. Her hands cut through the water as she moved further out, away from land. Staying under the surface blocked all sounds from above except for a gentle whooshing noise filling her ears. The entire world melted away as she opened her eyes. She couldn’t see much through the brackish water, but the longer she held her eyes open, the more shapes started to form. Small fishes swam past her and long twirling seaweed floated by.
Reen wasn’t sure how long she swam, but when her throat started to ache, she knew she needed another breath.
Breaking through the surface, she gulped the air, but quickly swallowed enough water to make her choke. The waves were much bigger now, and she kicked her legs to stay afloat over them. Two crashed into her, pushing her forward. The movements were no longer her own, and she felt like a buoy floating aimlessly in the ocean.
She went under again, panic rising in her throat. It made holding her breath that much harder. She surfaced again, needing to find the shore.
The sky opened, and buckets of rain poured down, peppering her face. Reen spun in circles, wondering how she had turned herself around. The house and beach weren’t visible through the rain, and the waves mounted around her.
How could she have been so reckless? She was a strong swimmer, even after years of staying away from the water, but if she couldn’t find her way back soon, the storm would only worsen.
Another wave crashed over her, and this time it pushed her downward. She struggled to fight against the current as another wave pummeled her. She finally saw how Rose could be afraid of the formidable ocean.
Panic rose in her throat. The water was about to kill her, and she had so much left to do in her life. If she disappeared into the sea, would everyone think she’d run away again?
She swallowed more water and choked. It wouldn’t end like this. She pushed as hard as she could for the surface, but she wasn’t sure which way was up or down anymore. She clawed toward breathable air, but she never broke through. Fuzzy black lines filled the periphery of her vision, and her spent limbs anchored her down.
Her mind didn’t want to give up, but her body thought something else entirely. She blinked once, then twice and didn’t open her eyes again.
#
The crash of the ocean waves filled her ears, almost as if someone had muted the world temporarily and then blasted it at full strength again. Her stomach heaved, and she choked on the water stuck in her throat. Gritty sand dug into her hands as she pushed upward. Her arms trembled, but she was alive. Over her shoulder, the ocean lapped against the shore and pulled back in its normal rhythm, almost mocking her.
What had happened? The last thing she remembered was blacking out. Did she swim to the shore herself? Deep down, she knew that wasn’t the case. Someone had helped her.
Something, her mind repeated. The words made her shiver. The shore hadn’t been close. She remembered blacking out. Rose’s delusions became her own. Reen closed her eyes, concentrating on breathing. She was alive. Even though her clothes clung to her, and were caked with sand, the hairs on her arms stood up as if she were sensing something more.
A distant ringing filled her ears, and she thought she was going to pass out again. If Shane discovered her there, she’d have a lot of explaining to do. Instead of lying down – something she wanted more than anything – she got up and went over to her shoes. The ringing hadn’t been in her ears. It was her cell phone. Earlier, she’d placed it inside her sneaker, and by some miracle, it still worked after the storm. She lifted it and scrolled through the frantic messages from Rose.
‘Shit.’