We hold each other in a tight embrace on the couch, taking quick glances and long stares at each other. I’m relishing this moment with him. An hour and a half ago I thought I would never see him again, and now we just admitted that we are falling for each other.
Maybe that fucktart Tiffani with an i did us a favor. I should send her a note of gratitude, perhaps in a gift basket filled with body glitter, vanilla lotion, antibiotics, herpes cream, and FDS.
“Can I ask you a question?” I ask hesitantly.
“Of course.”
“How long were you with Tiffani with an i? Why did you break up? I mean, as much as it physically pains me to say, she is a pretty girl and she’s closer to your age.”
“We just admitted to each other that we are falling in love and you want to know about my ex? That’s odd,” he says with a laugh.
“Well, I mean… yeah, it is. I guess I’m just curious. Why it didn’t work out. So I don’t make the same mistakes, maybe?” I answer with wide eyes and a shoulder shrug.
“Well, we dated for 2 years on and off, and one day I realized she just wasn’t a very nice person and was a gold digger who was only with me because I could buy her things.”
“Oh. And that’s a problem for you? Cuz I should tell you, I’m only with you for your money.”
“Haha, Madi,” he says with a smirk. “How did she know you have a daughter?”
“She works at my favorite Starbucks. Claire and I go in a lot. Actually, you were there too.”
“I was?” He looks shocked.
“Yep. The morning that I almost scalded you with my tea when I ran into you, Claire was sitting at the table behind you.”
“She was?”
“That’s her.” I point with pride to the pictures on the entertainment center.
“Oh my God, I saw her. I remember she was sitting at the table playing with her doll. She was talking to it and laughing.” He smiles at the memory.
“Mmm hmmm, that was my Claire,” I say, nodding with pride and a shy smile.
“Madi, she is beautiful. I should have known. She looks exactly like you.”
“Thank you. But I do need to tell you something about her.” My tone is serious again.
“OK.”
“Claire has Tourette’s syndrome. Do you know what that is?”
“Like when you yell out cuss words and bark and stuff?” he questions.
“Well, it’s very clear to me you have seen Deuce Bigelow,” I laugh. “Yes, that is a very extreme and rare form of Tourette’s. Claire has a vocal and physical tic form. She clears her throat and coughs repeatedly. After a lot of testing last year, the pediatric neurologist made the diagnosis.”
“Is she OK? I mean, does it cause her any pain or problems?”
“No, it’s not physically painful for her, but she has been teased at school, and sometimes people move away from us in public. They assume she is sick or get aggravated by the noises. It is what it is.” I shrug my shoulders.
“So how do you handle it?” he seems genuinely interested.
“There’s nothing to handle. It’s just the way it is. Claire knows that she is no different than any other child, she’s just a noisy one. And if people make comments or ask why she does it, I tell them the truth. Most people are very understanding once you explain it.”
“Jesus, Madi, you are so strong,” he says with compassion on his face.
“Not really. I’m a hot mess, or haven’t you noticed?” I reply with a smirk. “I have my moments and break down just like anyone else.”
“But you do all of this on your own. Do you get any help from her dad?”
“In some ways. He sees her when he can, and when they are together it’s always a great time for both of them. He isn’t here for the day to day stuff. He’s your typical weekend dad—around for the fun but not for real life. I take care of all that.”
“But who takes care of you, Madi?” he asks sadly.
“I take care of myself, Declan. I have for years. But I am lucky enough to have an amazing support system with my parents and the girls. They would, and have, done so much for me, I could never ever repay them. I’m very blessed.”
Leaning forward, Declan kisses me and says, “I want to take care of you, Madi.”
“Declan, you don’t have to take care of me. I am a fort… well, we know how old I am, no need to rehash that,” I smile.
“I know I don’t have to, Madi. I want to,” he leans in for another kiss. This one lasts a bit longer.
“Your friends really do love you, ya know,” he says, running his fingers through my hair.
“I know this. But why do you say that?”
“Because Savannah told me if I hurt you she was going to cut my balls off,” I can’t help but burst out laughing.
“Hey, that’s not funny. I think she was serious,” he pulls back to look at me.
“Oh she absolutely was,” I reply, nodding my head and laughing. I lean into his side and run my hand up and down the seam of his jeans while he plays with my hair. “Declan?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you really scared?” I don’t have to elaborate, he knows.
“Yeah. You?”
“Yes.”
“What are you scared of?” he asks, kissing the top of my head.
“Falling for you… so fast… getting hurt,” I can feel the tears approach my eyes again.
“Me too, Madi. I have never felt this way for someone, especially someone I have only known a few weeks.”
“So what do we do?”
“What do you mean?” he says with a slight laugh.
“I don’t know, Declan. I’m so… I don’t know what I am doing. We are so different. Our lives are on totally different planes. I have a child. I go to PTA meetings and drive carpool to cheer and soccer. I have a mortgage and a car payment for a fucking clown car I hate. You’re about to start the police academy and live out your dreams. You’re 29! You should be out with your bros, tossing back brewskies and checking out girls with tight asses and mile high fake tits, not helping me fold laundry and do math homework because you know what, it’s hard!”
“OK. First of all, I need you to take a breath. I don’t think you inhaled once during that little rant,” he says, rubbing my back. I sit up and face him.
“It’s true, Declan. I don’t want to hold you back.”
“Now you’re just pissing me off.”
“I’m sorry. I just…”
“You just what? You just want to push me away, right?”
“No,” I say quietly.
“Good, because I’m not letting you. Everything in life that’s worth having requires work, Madi. Is it going to be easy? No, probably not. But I’m willing to try if you are.”
“What about your friends? And Clark? Do they know that I am 10 years older than you? That I have a daughter?”
“As a matter of fact, they do. Next?” he says with a smug look on his face.
“And they didn’t give you shit for it?”
“OK, here is the thing, Madi. My friends knew I was interested in someone but they didn’t know anything about you. All they knew was that we had been out a couple of times and that I really liked you and wanted to see where things were headed. Last night, when we were at SIXX, we saw ya’ll sitting at the table. Two of my buddies told me I should go talk to you and Savannah because you were hot, but then they noticed Savannah’s wedding ring. Dave said if I didn’t go talk to you then he was going to, and he would have you screaming his name by sunrise,” he laughs at the look of shock on my face.
“I ordered the shots and sent them to your table. When you went out to dance, they told me I should make my move, so I did. They had no idea that you were the girl I’ve been seeing. They just thought you were some hot chick in a club.”
“Did you tell them who I was later?”
“Well, not right away, we kind of got interrupted by Tiffani… with an i? Is that what you call her?” he asks, laughing.
“Yes, only because it’s socially unacceptable to call her Snatch Von BitchAss.”
“Hahahahaha. After everything went down, I told them I was leaving. They assumed it was just because of Tiffani giving me shit for dancing with someone. They didn’t know who you were. But I told ‘em later. I’m pretty sure if they could have high fived me over the phone they would have,” he smiles.
“What about your brother? Does Clark know?”
“Clark has known about you since I told him about your stellar Vanilla Ice remix, that first day I saw you.”
I can feel myself turning red from embarrassment. “Why does he know about that? Oh my God,” I say, shaking my reddened face.
“Because we were talking and he asked me how things were going. We talk every few days,” he starts to turn a little red himself.
“OK, and…?” I ask with raised eyebrows.
“I told him I saw the cutest girl at the gym and that you had me cracking up. That you were singing ‘Ice Ice Baby’ at the top of your lungs on the treadmill. I told him that I was going to find a way to meet you.”
“Oh,” I smile and turn a brighter shade of red.
“He told me it was about time someone made me smile,” he says with a shy grin.
“I make you smile?” I ask coyly.
“A lot,” he laughs.
“So I take it that Snatch Von BitchAss didn’t make you smile?” I say, shaking my head.
“No, not really.”
“Then why were you with her?”
“I don’t know. We met when I first moved out here, through some mutual friends. Do you really want to hear this?” he questions.
“No. But yes,” I laugh.
“Well, Tiffani—excuse me, Snatch Von BitchAss—and I met through some friends. We all hung out here and there. One night she asked me out and I said yes. She was cute, so why not,” he says with a shoulder shrug.
“Ugh, I just threw up in my mouth a little,” I imitate dry heaves.
“Do you want to hear this or not?”
“Please continue,” I say dryly.
“Anyway, she asked me out and I said yes. We had an OK time, but I could see she was going to be a handful. I went out with her a few more times, and somehow it evolved into us dating exclusively. To be honest, I didn’t really like her all that much, and I don’t know why I stayed with her. She was bossy, rude to my friends, disrespectful to my family, and possessive of me and my time. And she spent my money like she’d hit the lottery. After about 2 years of this on and off, I found out she cheated on me and I caught her trying to steal one of my credit cards.”
“The fuck?” I exclaim. “Why did you stay with her for so long if you weren’t happy?”
“I think it was you who said ‘one day I opened my eyes, and I knew it was over’. She didn’t make me happy and I would rather have been alone than be miserable. So I told her to stop calling me and stay away from me or I would press charges for the credit card thing. She pretty much did until a few weeks ago when I ran into her at Starbucks.”
“Ran into her? Ooh, you didn’t know she worked there?” I ask, surprised.
“No. I didn’t know she was capable of work. I didn’t realize she was there until after I ordered my drink. It was actually the day I ran into you. Literally,” he smiles.
“Wow.”
“Yep, and she started blowing up my phone, saying she made a mistake and wanted me back.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? I knew what she was like. I knew I shouldn’t have gone out with her. I knew better when Clark warned me and told me he didn’t like her or trust her. But we all learn our lessons in our own time.”
“That still sucks, though. I don’t understand why people have to be like that.”
“Well, I once heard from a very wise person that sometimes we learn from our past relationships. We learn what we deserve and what we don’t, and what we will and won’t accept in a relationship with someone. And I learned a lot about myself from dating Snatch Von BitchAss,” he says with a wink.
“I should copyright that shit!” I say, laughing. “I have to confess something to you, Declan.”
“Umm, OK. Are you hiding another kid?”
“Haha. Funny man. No, but that day I fell asleep and you made us breakfast…”
“Yeah?”
“When I woke up in your bed—frickin amazing, by the way—well, when I was coming downstairs I heard you on the phone with someone, and I didn’t want to disturb you so I waited at the top of the stairs until I heard you hang up.” I look at him wide eyed and innocent.
“Yes. It was her.”
“I know,” I look down at the couch. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it sounded like a serious conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“It’s OK. I have nothing to hide from you, Madi.”
“Of course I had NO CLUE that SHE was your ex,” I say with a full body shiver.
He laughs and pulls me to him. “Come here. I don’t want to talk about her anymore. She is the past and this,” he kisses me, “this is now, and the future, I hope.”
I look up into his heavenly blue eyes and smile. My heart just skipped a beat.
“So you know I am starting the academy Monday, right?”
“I do. Are you excited?” I reply with a smile and a nod.
“I am. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I’m looking forward to it. But I want to talk to you about something. It’s gonna be 5 months of training, and it’s mostly all during the day when you’re home. I’ll be home at night when you’re at work. We aren’t going to get to see each other as much. Are you going to be OK with that?”
“Well, Declan, I see it this way. First, I just found you and I have no intention of letting you go any time soon. Second, I believe a very wise person recently told me that anything in life worth having requires work. And I just so happen to be a workaholic!” I say with a giggle.
“You’re nuts, you know that?” He laughs.
“Yes, I am familiar with my work,” I reply.
“So you’re OK with it? I mean, we’ll be able to see each other on weekends and stuff, but that’s pretty much it.”
“I know, but we can still talk and text when we have time. Besides, Claire starts back to school in a few weeks, so my weeknights will be spent doing homework, cheer, carpool and PTA.” Declan starts to laugh.
“What? Why are you laughing?”
“Because I’m dating June Cleaver!” He can barely get it out, he is laughing so hard.
I sit up and face him. “THE HELL YOU ARE!” I shout as I smack him in the chest. “June Cleaver, my ass!” I grumble as I straddle his lap. “I bet June never did this to Ward!”
I slowly tilt my pelvis back and forth, slightly grinding in his lap. I grab the sides of his head, pull it back and kiss him roughly. I can feel him slowly moving back against me as he moans into my mouth.
“Oh, shit!”
“Mmmmm hmmmmm,” I moan back as I continue to grind into him. Pressing my breasts into his chest, I release my lips from his and work my way to his ear. I lightly rim the tip of my tongue around his ear and let out a slow and low moan.
“Oh fuck, Madi, you have to stop,” he groans.
“Why, Declan?” I reply, increasing my slow hip rotation.
“Oh God, you have to stop. Please…” he says, almost begging. I nibble and suck my way down his neck.
“Oh Jesus, you’re gonna make me…”
“Make you what, Declan?” I whisper in his ear as I bite his earlobe.
“Son of a bitch,” he grinds out.
“Say it,” I whisper again. “Tell me what you’re gonna do, Declan.” I flick his ear with the warm, wet tip of my tongue.
“You’re gonna make me cum,” he says as he clinches his eyes shut.
“I know,” I quietly moan into his ear.
I can feel him growing beneath me. “Oh, God,” he murmurs as his breathing quickens.
“Do it, Declan.” I moan into his ear I grind into him at a faster pace. “Cum for me.”
“Madi. Oh God, Madi. Don’t stop!” he pants.
“Open your eyes, Declan,” I tell him.
His breathing picks up pace as he opens his eyes to find me topless on his lap. I continue to grind my pelvis against his, feeling how hard he is through his jeans. I throw my head back and grab my tits right in front of his face.
“Oh, FUCK! I’m cuming!” he cries out, wrapping his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. I work in slow circles, up and down on his lap, as he moans and groans into my breasts.
As he shudders out the last of his orgasm beneath me, my grinding slows against him.
Through labored breath, he says, “Oh my God. You are amazing.”
Putting my lips right next to his ear, I softly whisper, “And that’s how you leave it to Beaver,” I finish with one more deep thrust of my pelvis against him.
As Declan gasps against me, I can feel his body shaking from the laughter that is now escaping him between pants. “Call me June Cleaver again and see what happens next time!” I say with a glare.
“Madigan Kennedy, you are just too fucking much,” he pulls me back so we are facing each other and staring into each other’s eyes. “I’m tempted to say it again just to see what happens,” he smirks.
I clasp my hands together behind his head and pull him toward me, then lean in and lightly touch my lips to his.
“Beaver may not be able to CUM out and play,” I whisper against his lips, then lick them.
“Son of a bitch,” he groans. I can feel him getting hard again.
I climb off his lap and let him catch his breath. Sitting next to him I gain my composure, but I think I made my point.
As I turn and face him, I see him staring at me with a very large smile on his face. “What?” I ask.
“I’m glad I came today.”
I tilt my head. “Seriously?”
“Hahaha. Well, that too, but I mean that I’m glad I came to see you today.”
I smile and kiss him. “I am so glad you came back for me. I thought I lost you last night,” I admit quietly.
“Madi, I wasn’t going to let you go that easily,” he says, rubbing my back.
“Can you stay… tonight?” I ask hesitantly.
“I would love to, but, um, I really should go home for a little bit.”
“Oh, OK,” I reply quickly.
“No, I mean I need to go home and shower and change my pants, cuz, well… you know,” he wiggles his eyebrows at me.
“Hahahaha, oh, right.” I blush.
“Can I come back in a little bit?”
“Of course.” I smile and kiss him.
“But one question before I head out…” he adds.
“Yeah?”
“Given that we have both professed our deep like for each other, does that mean that I may get to meet Claire someday? When you’re ready?” he asks hesitantly.
“I would like that.” I smile and nuzzle up into him. My heart feels like it just bottomed out in my chest. He wants to meet my Claire.
***