The High Street Smasher

 

So here is what you do to freak out the elegant ladies and gents on High Street:

 

Step 1: Prep Work

 

Once you are on the finest Street of town or otherwise called High Street, you can get started with the usual prep work.

 

Step 2: Motivational Work

 

Remember on High Street you need to go incognito. You are aiming for the sneaky fart cloud.

 

As you are walking down High Street, visualize yourself as the super spy fart hero that works his magic via the underground style!

 

I also like to call this the 007 top secret flatulent farting cloud method or the James Bond flatulentia. I am sure you can come up with other creative names for this super secret spy fart explosion.

 

Just remember one thing that applies to the Hight Street smasher. You do not want to get caught in a foreign country.

 

Step 3: Getting Ready To Shoot

 

You are aiming for the classic High Street backshot. The classic backshot is the simplest and easiest move in my book of flatulent fart explosions.

 

This classic shot is the easiest to apply, and it does not matter whether you are a fart cloud amateur or a more advanced bean blower.

 

Step 4: Action Work

 

The next step is the sneaky speeding spitwad bottom belch. If you do this right the ladies and gents around you won't know what hit 'em!

 

Step 5: More Action Work

 

Make sure to keep 'em coming out short! While the high society ladies and gentlemen are cluelessly wrinkling their elitist noses, they will never guess what truly hit them!

 

Remember to apply these 3 golden rules for High Street bottom belcher success:

 

1. Stay under cover & go incognito

 

2. Use the classic shot

 

3. Short vapour style shots work best

 

If you are using these 3 golden rules on High Street all evidence of the flatulent vapour clouds will vanish into the nostrils of the elegant ladies and gentlemen without any trace of suspicion. The rest of the flatulent and rotten matter is going to dissolve into the dark clouds in the sky above.

 

Do not turn your head because you do not want to draw any suspicion.

 

One of my good friends Mister Brittlewhistle caused a mighty fashionable lady to faint right on High Street, and he got into deep trouble with the law.

 

Do not eat too spicy the night before because, remember, you are on foreign ground and you do not want to get into any kind of trouble during your trip.

 

My friend Mister Brittlewhistle was a terrifically flatulent bean blower, and he forgot to apply the incognito rule while visiting some religious country somewhere in the Eastern world.

 

An elderly lady who was walking directly behind him fainted on the street. There were several witnesses on the street and Mister Brittlewhistle got busted and held by the police.

 

I do not remember the country. Later he told me that anything related to farting, pooping, burping, and spitting on the street was against the law in this country. Everybody who got caught had to pay a $1000 fine.