The Hand Stinker

 

Here is the process for the hand stinker:

 

Step 1:

 

Eat a dose of extra flatulent beans before the party gets started. Make sure that your tummy is bloating and looking like a balloon before it bursts.

 

Step 2:

 

Get yourself into a strategic position with lots of roaring guests around you.

 

Step 3:

 

Make eye contact and give one of the suckers an extra cute look to get the ball rolling.

 

Step 4:

 

Make sure to inhale the maximum of air to ensure a quality airflow

 

Step 5:

 

Clench your teeth and wait for the perfect moment to release one moist series of jumbo vapour clouds into the hands of the privacy offender.

 

Step 6:

 

Squeeze until you have exhausted every ounce of gas.

 

So here is the full scope of the Hand Stinker story...

 

In my case, the privacy offender's name was Bertrandoo. Yes, it is spelled correctly and with two "o". I think it is a French name or something weird like that.

 

Bertrandoo? What a name - Hahahahhahhahahahahahahah!

 

I mean, really? C'mon people give your kids at least a serious name that will reflect well on them when they are grown ups!

 

No wonder these guys become maniacs and are groping pets as a result of the bad name choice!

 

You wanna know about this Bertrandoo nut cracker?

 

Ok, let me tell you what is happening at this party:

 

As the party is going started, I am spotting this ridiculous nut with this thick French accent, and I truly can't believe Mom's social skills.

 

Anyway, I am eager to teach this nut head a lesson of my own.

 

I am going to make sure that the chick that he is about to impress with his half French and half English stupid sounding pick up lines is never going to want to see Bertrandoo with two "o" ever again!

 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Bertrandoo with two "o" just thinks he is so cocky and irresistible but wait until this Frenchman will feel nature's calling on him!

 

Here we go! Bertrandoo is running out of lines and thinks why not impress this chick with some animal love.

 

I am mentally ready for the farty hand blower, and as he is groping me, I am streaming out every ounce of gassy air that I can give in one roaring booooooming sound.

 

I am releasing a series of the sweetest smelling rotten gas clouds into the palms of Bertrandoo's hands.

 

It is crucial to apply a lot of pressure to make the airflow work.

 

Here is what is happening next.

 

As I am getting groped, the rotten egg clouds are bursting out of my bean burping bottom and into

Bertrandoo's palms with a boooooooom! booooooom! booooooom! sound.

 

I guess Bertrandoo has never smelled such a bean stinking whooooopper in his hands, probably not even in France!

 

Remember to materialize the air so that it becomes the half poopy and the half humid and steamy cloud style!

 

Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahah - Can you imagine the look on Bertrandoo's face!

 

I mean being called Bertandoo is an offense in its own right but being called Bertrandoo plus having to account for a soiled pair of palms is a true punishment!

 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

 

Bertrandoo, abruptly done with the groping act is running off like a wild pig. This guy is not going to be another threat for this party again because he is going to knock himself out with the bar of soap for the rest of the night!

 

No worries girls, this Frenchie will not be bothering you again because he is going to pass the rest of his night in the bathroom, trying to wash the hand stinker off of his hands.

 

Good luck, getting rid of this odor, toilet boy - hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

 

In the case of Bertrandoo, the hand stinker worked out pretty well and spending some time in the lavatory room might have done this privacy offender some good!

 

Being a Frenchman, Bertrandoo probably prefers his French perfume to rotten egg clouds and bean smelling vapour wades, and I guess the hand stinker has turned him into a responsible citizen.

 

Yes, Bertrandoo the Frenchie with two "o" is not going to grope another pet in his life ever again!