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There are moments in your life when the voice in your head screams What did you just do? This was one of them. It seemed that Corina thought the same from the way she didn’t speak for a while. The silence got really awkward, but I could hardly say I was joking and move on to something else.
‘You couldn’t,’ she said, eventually.
‘Why not?’ And again the voice in my head was screaming at me to change the subject. ‘You can rewrite halos. How would this be so difficult?’
‘Too many things you couldn’t understand.’
That was enough to change the subject. So I was too stupid to help? Must have been a stupid idea then.
‘That’s not what I meant,’ said Corina, and I my eyebrows shot up. I must have been muttering under my breath. The alternative was she could read my mind and that I didn’t want to think too hard about. ‘I meant that... Bother. Whatever I say will just sound worse.’ Her voice changed, became softer somehow. ‘It was nice of you to offer, though.’
‘So what do we do now? I know you said we were safe, but if they found you once what’s stopping them from finding you again? Is it safe to go on talking like this?’
There was another pause. ‘Do you want to stop?’ she asked.
The quick and easy answer was yes, but the thought of saying it made me feel empty. I knew it would be the safest thing for both of us, but I still ended up saying ‘Not really.’
‘Me neither.’
‘So are we back to “what do we do now?” I wander around with you in my head until one of us gets caught?’
‘Let me think about it, Jax. Take the halo off, but come back in an hour or so. Promise?’
‘Promise,’ I said. She sounded like she thought I might not, that I would leave the halo off and take my chances with Fat Stan and his boys. Hell, maybe that was the right thing to do, except I knew that I wasn’t going to do it. I tapped the stud and the halo fell silent. Now I had another hour to kill.
I wasn’t sure how much of the day had already passed, so I slipped quietly downstairs and poked my head into the first commons I came to. Turned out it was a few minutes after one, which couldn’t have worked better. Everybody would have gone off to whatever work it was they did. The local food stations wouldn’t be crowded and I wouldn’t have a line of people snarling behind me while I tried out my new ID.
The Murs identity worked, and I had thirty food credits as Corina had promised. I took out five, the most I could claim without calling the Attendant, and slipped them into my bag. The clock on the dispenser said it was a quarter off two so I walked to the next station and drew out five more rations before strolling back to Tower 42. Ten meals was a start, but I wanted twice that — at least. I didn’t ever want to get caught out that hungry again. I stashed them in the engine room, then went out onto the empty floor to put on the halo.
‘Corina?’
There was a gasp. ‘You came back!’
I wasn’t sure how to take that, and I was fairly sure I could work it into an insult if I wanted to. ‘Well it was that or find work.’
Corina giggled, and sounded about eight. She mixed my head up. The exact instant I thought I was getting a handle on her, she would do something weird. ‘Well that’s exactly what you do have to do. If you still want to help me, I mean.’
‘Eh?’
‘I think I’ve found a way to get you inside the dome.’
I registered at the work site near where I had met Eddie, not wanting anybody I knew to notice my changed name. They worked differently in this crew. I played dumb, so they put me on shuffling the wheeled cages around —which apparently was what Corina wanted.
‘It will get more exciting tomorrow, I promise,’ was all she would say. I decided trying to argue with her was pointless. I worked the full shift, and worked hard, to make sure I was picked again the next day.
The following morning I got selected for the same crew. We headed out to the same site in buses that were in even worse shape than the ones I was used to. Everything else was the same; trolleys, collection trucks, people milling about waiting to be organised.
‘Turn around,’ said Corina. ‘Slowly. Don’t draw attention to yourself.’
‘Why?’
‘I need you to look at all the collection trucks. Concentrate on the symbols on the sides.’
I scanned my eye over each of the five trucks there, wondering what she was up to.
‘There,’ she said. ‘At the end. Remember it.’
I looked again and couldn’t see a damned thing different about it compared to the others. Then I noticed there were patterns in the markings Corina had told me to look at, and I picked out features I hoped were unique to mine.
‘Slip away. Hide, but stay close.’
‘But they won’t let me work here again if I do.’
‘You won’t need to, whether this works or not.’
Again, maybe I was putting too much into it, but her voice made me think of the sort of grin that twists your lips sideways. I wandered to the edge of the group, around the back of the transports and across the road. Casual, like I was wandering off for a pee. My shoulders were knotted tight as they struggled to stop my head turning to see if anybody was watching, and I waited for someone to yell at me. As soon as I was across the road I ducked into an alley and flattened myself into the shadows.
‘Now, stay here,’ said Corina.
‘How long?’ I whispered.
‘Not long. Two hours at the most.’
‘Two hours?’ I almost forgot to keep my voice down. ‘I can’t stay squashed like this for two hours.’
‘Well I need to be able to see what’s going on,’ said Corina. ‘You have to try. Is this as close as you could get?’
‘To what?’
‘The truck.’
‘You didn’t say anything about— Yes, this is the closest I could get.’
‘Be quiet. I’m concentrating.’
I gave up. Sometimes Corina could be so like Jenny. Or maybe it was all girls were the same. I hadn’t really known enough to be sure, but enough to realise that arguing wasn’t worth it. I made myself as comfortable as I could and settled down to wait.
And then she’s yelling into my mind. ‘Move, move now!’ and I’m stiff and slow from being in the same position for too long and trying to run along behind the cover of the trucks.
‘Where am I going?’
‘The vehicle I told you to remember. There’s nobody watching it. You have to get to it before any of the drivers come back. I told them all there was a mechanical problem with one of the other units.’
I kept running until I was level with the back of the thing and I could hear voices at the other end of the row. ‘Now what?’
‘There’s a panel, right behind the cab. Half way up. Put your thumb on the pad next to it.’ The panel slid up silently and revealed a storage area. ‘Well don’t just stand there, get in. Then tap the thumb plate again to close the door.’
Again, that seemed a bit unfair. For all I knew she wanted me to take something out. The space was big enough to sit in comfortably, but not quite long enough to lie down. It was mostly empty apart from a few boxes and two packages wrapped in white plastic. Corina wasn’t finished with me yet.
‘Open those packages and change into the clothes. Hide yours at the back.’
I ripped open the thin wrapper and found the same uniform the truck operators wore, even a pair of boots. I started to strip off my own things, and was taking my underwear off when I heard a giggle. I froze, and looked around the walls.
‘Is there a camera in here?’
‘You got to see me,’ said Corina. ‘Only seems fair...’
I couldn’t see the camera, so couldn’t turn my back to it. I figured that with me hunched up like this she couldn’t see much she wasn’t supposed to. Besides, if that was all I had to pay for seeing her, I got the better end of the deal.
‘Now what?’ I asked once I was changed.
‘We wait.’
‘Again?’
‘When the truck is full, or the scavenge is finished, the truck will roll back to the intake hoppers. Until then, we wait.’
‘I wait. You can go off and do other stuff. Wish I’d brought a book.’
My vision twisted and I was looking at Corina in her bedroom mirror. She was clothed, which was a shame, but still beautiful enough to make my breath catch in my throat. Then I noticed a few, small differences. Her hair was darker, close to black and with shimmers of blue and green, and had been cut so that it swept in under her chin. The tips of her hair matched her eyes, which were green now. I wondered how she managed to change so often.
‘We could talk?’
‘What about?’
‘Anything you want to,’ her face went like Jenny’s does when she thinks I’m being deliberately stupid.
‘How about what I have to do next?’
And now her face looks all shifty, like she’s hiding something. Given how old I guess she is, and I’m fairly sure that’s about the same age as me, Corina isn’t so good at keeping things off her face. ‘Maybe that’s not such a good idea.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I don’t know. Satisfied?’ She folded her arms across her chest and scowled at me. Danger signs.
‘You’re making this up as you go along?’
‘No. It is simply that at every point there are a number of possible actions and an exponentially larger number of possible outcomes. As indirectly associated events occur the probability for success of each possible action must be re-evaluated and the plan changed accordingly.’ Corina spoke in her dead voice, then sounded more like herself. ‘Does that make sense?’
‘No, but I trust you.’
‘Really?’
The note of genuine surprise worried me, but at that moment there was a deafening clatter from somewhere behind me and I almost leapt through the top of the locker. ‘What was that?’
‘They’ve started to load this truck. I hoped it would be first. You should be moving soon.’
The clattering came again and again, but seemed quieter. Perhaps I was more used to the noise, or it didn’t echo so much when the bin was getting full. The din made conversation pointless; even though Corina was talking directly into my halo, I couldn’t concentrate. Then the racket stopped and there was a whine so faint I almost missed it as the truck moved off.
‘I have to go,’ said Corina. ‘I have to get things ready at the other end. Don’t do anything until you hear from me.’
And she was gone before I could think another word.
The truck lurched along for about an hour, rocking from side to side. I didn’t feel that it was going fast, so more likely it was wallowing in ruts and potholes. I got tossed about for a while, until I figured out how to wedge myself in, then I only banged my head on the wall whenever we hit a particularly spectacular rut.
The locker was made of a smooth yellow material that didn’t feel like metal. There was a very slight give to it, like the uncomfortable orange chairs that hid away in every office. What light there was came through the walls so one minute I could see clearly, and the next it would be all but dark. The constant buttery light bugged me, and was still there when I closed my eyes.
Corina didn’t speak to me again until the truck had slowed to a halt, then started going backwards.
‘Jax, you are going to feel very strange.’
‘Why?’
‘You’re about to go through the perimeter field.’
‘Ah, isn’t that supposed to kill me if I push too hard against it.’
‘Well, yes, but you should be safe.’
‘Should?’
‘The cab of the truck is shielded, and the shield should cover you enough to weaken the field for you to slip through. Once you’re inside, you have to get ready to leave the truck.’
‘So when’s this...’
My skin prickled with a million needle points of pain. Every muscle in my arms and legs clenched tight, while my toes curled and my hands pulled into fists. It hurt more than anything I could remember. My jaw clenched so hard I worried my teeth would crack and my heart fluttered in my chest like a trapped bird. I couldn’t breathe. My vision faded into a grey mist, and my thoughts with it. I was dying, and I couldn’t do a thing about it.
The tingling passed, and my heart gave a thump so hard I thought it might burst. Air howled into my lungs, but my jaw stayed clenched as I bit back the moans as pins and needles rippled up and down my arms and legs.
‘Get ready. You have to get out in a few minutes.’
‘How? There’s no button inside this locker.’
‘I can do that. Now watch.’
An image formed over my normal vision so I closed my eyes to see it more clearly.
It was a diagram, a big square with smaller squares and thicker lines at some places around the edge. Some of the shapes were crosshatched in red. One of the thicker lines was flashing yellow.
‘This is the hopper bay,’ Corina explained. ‘The truck is lining itself up with a chute now.’ As she spoke, a green square moved into the bottom of the picture and edged towards one of the red areas. The green shape looked very small compared to the rest of the picture. ‘As soon as the truck stops get out of the locker and walk towards the flashing exit. Don’t run.’
‘What if somebody sees me?’
Corina paused. ‘It’s a busy place, so walk like you have somewhere to go. You are wearing appropriate clothing. The risks are minimal.’
I always got worried when she spoke in her other voice, her teacher voice. It usually meant something bad, and this didn’t seem to be any different. ‘And if someone stops me. Do I just hit them and run?’
‘You mean physically strike them?’ Corina’s sounded scandalised. ‘Of course not.’
‘Then what? Surrender? That’s not going to help you much, is it?’
‘I... think we should worry about that if it happens.’
So why was Corina so shocked when I mentioned fighting? And was that personal to her or were all the Dag’s wimps? Things started to connect in my head; why they used Proctors instead of controlling us directly, and why there was such a market for violent, full-sensory halo trips. I was noodling so hard that the shutter rolling up on the locker nearly made me swear out loud.
‘Now, Jax. Now! The door is on the other side of the hopper.’
I backed out of the locker and climbed down the two rungs to the floor. I stopped as if to make a second check in the locker, then reached up and thumbed the pad to close it before turning towards the rear of the truck. The image in my eyes rotated as I turned, the bright shape of the door almost shooting past. I walked towards it, not too fast and not directly at it. People bustled around me, ignoring me, getting on with their jobs. People. Humans. Only humans, unless the Dags looked the same as us.
A siren brayed briefly, and for an instant I thought I had been discovered. I glanced over my shoulder without stopping, and saw it was just a warning as the bucket on a truck started to tip up. It wasn’t easy, but I forced myself to face front and carry on, no matter how much I wanted to see what was going on. I figured if I worked here then I would have seen it a thousand times already, and I shouldn’t be gawking at it.
All the way across the cavernous room I was waiting for the hey you or the hand clamping down on my shoulder. My palms were itching and sweating, and it was difficult not to look at everybody around me. I kept my eyes on the door and focused on trying to keep my breathing regular. The closer I got the more difficult it was not to break into a run nor to raise my thumb too early, ready for the pad. And then I was there. The door swished open in front of me and I stepped through, into the Dagashi ship.