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Wednesday, I strut into last period trying to act confident but when I see Sam I’m legit shaking in my boots, these cute tan suede ones I totally stole from Elli’s closet. I want to talk to him but I don’t dare. If he says something mean I’ll literally cry. Maybe Jonah will beat him up for me. Nevermind, Sam Muncey would kick my brother’s ass. If Elli and Jagger get together he’d do it, I could see that. Not that I would let him. Okay, maybe I would. Then I’d nurse him back to health.
“Hey,” he says with this flirty smirk that makes me tingle in all the right places. My heart is about ready to jump out of my chest at that one simple word. Anything remotely nice coming out of his mouth will do that to me. I still haven’t been able to erase him from my mind and it totally and completely sucks.
My heart sinks when I see that he’s looking right past me at some skinny bitch that just walked in the room. Now he’s overlooking me like I’m not even here? I would literally kill to have guys hanging off me like Morgan does. Even though they know she’s attached, they always check her out when she walks by. Maybe I can borrow Elli’s new shirt, the one she got from Jagger, she’s keeping it forever because I won’t let her give it back. What is he going to do with it? Every time he looks at it he’s only going to be able to see how freaking hot she is in it. It’ll probably make me look like a fat slut but slutty’s better than nothing.
The whole class all I can think about is Sam, every time he makes some hilarious comment that would have Elli rolling her eyes, every glance even remotely in my direction. And, when he laughs at the skinny bitch’s jokes, god, I’m wishing it was me. I’m pretty sure he only laughs at me, not with me. It drives me bonkers. It’s bad enough that I have to deal with that at home but now at school too? I mean, the things Jonah says are ridiculous, I don’t even take him seriously but if Sam said the same thing I’d probably die.
I’ll never forget the time he asked to come over and hang out. Dad was on vacation so Jonah had the car for once and Sam climbed right in the back with me. He was so cute. Every time we took a sharp corner he’d lean into me and try to get me to do it to him. He stayed for supper and sat next to me at the table, whacking me with his left hand as we tried to eat side by side. It’s what’s kept me liking him this whole time. Well, that and what happened later in my room. I wonder if Elli noticed that I didn’t bring Sam up the whole time we’ve been hanging out. It’s a lot harder than it sounds.
“Well, you look gorgeous,” she smiles like I can now cross not being cute enough off my list of reasons why guys hate me.
I’m digging through her closet yet again. You’d think I’d have the entire thing memorized but every time I’m in here I find something new. Maybe it’ll just take a totally un-Jenna look to get him to notice me again. I wish I could remember what I was wearing that first day we hung out. I bet copying that slut from class would totes work too.
Just as I find what I’m pretty sure is going to be my outfit for tomorrow, Karynn stumbles in and I do mean stumbles. It’s obvious she’s been hitting the booze even though it’s the middle of the week. It’s nothing new for her and the reason I’m so worried about Jagger’s rep. If he’s anywhere near as bad as Karynn it’s going to be so hard on Elli. I can’t really picture Jagger this sloshed though, I hope the rumors are exaggerated.
“You two need to borrow some of my clothes,” she slurs, “they’d look so good on your hot little bodies. Then you might actually get laid.” She’s wearing the tightest leather dress I’ve ever seen with super trashy ripped tights. Yeah it’s sexy but she’s one breath away from a lip slip and there’s no doubt the leather smells like smoke and cheap liquor. It’s not like Elli’s covered up in a one shoulder tank and jean skirt. Even the slutty-slut’s top Elli wore to school yesterday was less slutty than anything in Karynn’s slutfest of a closet.
“Mom,” Elli stops her, “we’re all set on that one, thanks.”
She’s trying to be nice which I so would not be in this situation. I can tell she really wants to yell and believe me, she’s done it before. Karynn can act so childish sometimes, whining and trying to get her way. Basically, Elli’s the adult. Right now she’s more embarrassing than anything and I can tell Elli’s dying. I’m used to it, I just try to block her out.
“You’re too uptight, you need to get laid and these clothes work for me.”
I’m almost too stunned to speak. My mom would never give me permission to wake up in some guy’s bed.
Elli looks just as shocked. “We know Mom, there’s a different guy here every night.”
“And they. All. Want. Me,” Karynn brags.
“For the night,” Elli and I say in unison under our breath and start laughing. She doesn’t care that it’s not going to lead anywhere besides her bed or more likely, the living room floor. I don’t know where Elli got her class from. Karynn doesn’t even get the joke.
“Goodnight Mom!” She shuts the door to her bedroom, rolling her beautiful blue eyes even though there are tears forming in them. It’s more than simple annoyance that her mom would suggest that she’s not hot enough to get laid, Elli’s mortified that Karynn could be right since Jagger didn’t even try to kiss her. “Tell me more about your day.”
She’s trying to change the subject and I’m gonna play along.
“I got my math test back. I got a B.”
“See, I told you you’d do great. And...”
She wants to know more about boys but I’m not telling her that I’m still lusting after Sam. He was nice to me once and I’m sure he will be again. It’s one thing to try and get the mean things he’s said and done out of my head but to make Elli forget them? Well, forgetaboutit! ...And I just sounded like my dad.
“Uh, nothing much happened,” I stammer. “Why?”
“You know I just want you to move on, is that so wrong?” She’s so adorable I want to scream.
Just like that the subject is dropped and we don’t pick it up again all night. When Dad comes to get me a couple hours later Elli still hasn’t mentioned Jagger’s name. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up and I think she’s worried he’s given up on her. I know she likes him. She was psyched that he’d even get her number. It’s hard not to get excited when a guy shows interest like that, believe me, I know. I relive the flirty dinner with Sam the whole ride home.
The first thing Mom says to me when I walk through the door is something mean about my outfit. I just shrug and walk past, pretending not to hear her. After Elli’s mom that almost sounds like a compliment. She can be such a bitch sometimes, okay, most of the time, but I’d rather have her than Karynn. I can’t decide if it’s better to have a mom that’s always drunk and never home or one that acts like I’m the biggest mistake she’s ever made. Really, if I got to choose I’d have no mom at all. At least then she couldn’t ruin my life, morning, noon and night, like she is right now. I’m surprised she even let me talk to Sam at the dinner table without saying something completely horrible about me. She probably figured it was my last chance at a boyfriend and I’m beginning to think she’s right.
*****
Thursday is a new day and I’m determined to make it a good one. I’m looking good and feeling good as Dad drops us off. First thing when we walk through the door, there’s Sam looking straight at me, Jagger by his side. Elli wants to pretend like they’re not even there and walk by but I so can’t do that. I push her in the right direction.
“Hey Jagger,” I say for her as we saddle up next to him. “What’s up?”
“Hey Jenna. Hey Elli.” He gives her a little squeeze and she perks up instantly. “Sam, you know Elli and Jenna?”
He shakes his head. Sam actually shakes his head no. The bastard pretends not to know me. Um, hello, I’ve had your D in my mouth. I can see the fire in Elli’s eyes and she speaks up for me.
“You know Jenna, Jonah’s little sister. Don’t you have a class together?”
“Oh yeah, yeah, right.” I don’t know if he’s playing around, trying to act cool in front of Jagger or what, but I’m so shocked it’s hard to think.
“Hey,” I mutter.
“Can you give us a minute?” Jagger mumbles, not really asking for permission as much as telling us he’s going to take Elli away. I’m terrified to be left alone with Sam.
“Did you finish the homework?” he asks me.
“What? I thought you didn’t know me.”
“I guess I didn’t recognize you outside of class.”
I’m almost in tears. “Yeah, I finished it, why?”
“Can I borrow it? I didn’t have a chance to get it done.” He’s trying not to look embarrassed to be seen with me, at least I think that’s what that twitchy eye thing is about.
“Sure, give it to me before class though so Mr. Myers doesn’t see.”
“Uh huh.”
I take the page out of my notebook and hand it to him just happy that he’s talking to me. He didn’t recognize me. It’s probably because I’m wearing my hair up today and I usually wear it down. Or it could be that I’m wearing Elli’s clothes or that I still have my jacket on. I’m wearing a different eyeliner today. Either way, I can’t blame the guy. Finally, I’ve made some progress with Sam the man.