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I’m standing outside the classroom, wondering how I can get up the nerve to talk to Elli. I can hear her talking to Jonah and Jagger but I need another second to pull it together.
“You guys should come to my party on Saturday,” Jagger says right away. I’ve known about this party for weeks but I didn’t mention it in front of Jonah because I knew he’d want to be there. Jagger can’t stand him so I have no idea why he’d ask him to come. Elli, I can understand.
I take two steps towards the room, ready to take my regular seat in front of Jonah but I stop mid-step when I see Elli sitting on top of his desk. More importantly when I see Jagger with his hand on her ankle, turning to talk to her. The last thing I want is for him to actually go after her but that’s exactly what it looks like he’s going to do. How many times do I have to tell him that he won’t get her into bed?
“I know it’s not really your thing but I want you to come. Bring your friends, I want to meet them,” he chuckles.
“Yeah, I’ll see what I can do,” she says casually. She couldn’t sound less interested if she tried. He’s right. It’s not her thing, not at all. Elli’s more the weekends at home type of girl and that’s half of why I like her. I wouldn’t have to worry about looking like an idiot around my friends if it was only the two of us hanging out.
Jagger’s sucked into a conversation with Morgan so Jonah turns his attention to Elli. “You’re not going.”
“Yeah, I am,” she answers defiantly.
“You’re not gonna like it. Parties at Jagger’s are wild, lots of drugs, overdosing, fights, titties everywhere, Jagger hooking up with three or four girls at a time. It’s not your scene.”
She looks like she might throw up. I can’t see her drinking a beer much less getting wasted and even if she thinks Jagger’s cool she can’t be on board with his after school activities.
“I’ll check it out, if it’s not my thing I’m sure Dad will pick me up. Thanks for your concern.”
She’s being sarcastic but as much as I hate to admit it, Jonah is right. And he’s determined to prove it to her.
“I am concerned, you don’t know what you’re doing. Jagger’s not like he is in school, he’s different. He gets into fights all the time, drinks too much, sleeps with anything that walks. You’re setting yourself up for disaster.”
“I don’t–” she starts but he interrupts her.
“He’s just gonna sleep with you and never call again. Has he even called to begin with? Elli, you’re such a baby when it comes to these things.”
Now’s my chance to make sure she doesn’t go out with Jagger, even if it means agreeing with Jonah. The bell’s about to ring so I walk in and take a seat. Elli hops off Jonah’s desk, immediately turning bright red.
“Drop it, okay?” She looks at me but she’s not smiling, it’s more like a death glare. I can’t say anything now, not after that.
“Fine, dropped but not over.”
*****
Jagger walks out of practice with Elli. She’s laughing at his joke and holding his phone in her hand. I’ve never seen those two together before but today I can’t seem to see one without the other. What changed and why do I have to be witnessing it? Jagger’s been acting weird and since we have most classes together I can tell something’s up. He seems extra excited about this weekend’s party but he has one every other weekend, there’s nothing special about this particular one. It’s still too cold for the first beach party of the season.
Elli climbs in the car with Jonah’s sister and I wish I was going with them instead of hanging out at Zach’s house. I’d rather be spending time with Elli, maybe I could actually talk to her. My mom has been on my case to apologize. The only way I can do that is to get her alone, or at least mostly alone like it would be at Jonah’s. I completely screwed up today by not talking to her but I won’t make that mistake again.
Jagger’s smiling all the way home and he barely says a word as we listen to what I swear is Elli’s Spotify. It sounds like the type of music she’d listen to but it’s exactly what we’d be listening to anyway. Did I miss something? I’ve been hearing weird stories about Jagger all day, maybe I should have been paying attention instead of ignoring it like I always do when it concerns Jagger. He tells me everything so why would I want to hear completely made up information from a random stranger? Half the things I hear around school about him are complete lies and I wish I could say the other half are exaggerations but honestly they’re toned-down versions of the truth.
We pull up to Zach’s house and he doesn’t move, the music just as loud as when we were actually driving. Marc and Brewski aren’t waiting around for Jagger to come out of his music coma but for some reason I can’t move. I like the song but it has nothing to do with that and everything to do with whatever is going on with him.
“So,” he says when the song ends. I know where this is going before he says anything. Chicks. What else is there for Jagger to talk about? I wonder if there’s one in particular or if it’s a general question. Jagger’s woman changes by the day and most of the time I’ve never heard of the girl. For some reason he always asks me what I think before he goes for it. He had some sort of thing with Zach’s sister a few years ago, maybe this is about her.
When he hasn’t continued a few seconds later I have to ask. “Yeah?”
He looks at me like I should know what he’s going to say but I have no idea other than that it will be about some girl or another. “You know, any chicks you’re into?”
That’s random, he never asks because we both know there is zero chance I’ll have anything to add to the conversation. He’s getting out of the car to head to the house like he knows I won’t say anything and as usual, he’s right. The guy knows me, we’ve been friends since before we had interest in girls. Sometimes I forget that Jagger used to think they had cooties. A lot of his girls still have cooties, they’re just called STIs now. I think he might have come out of the womb with the ability to get in girls’ pants but that wasn’t always the case, I remember when no girl wanted to be around him. I wonder what changed.
A couple guys from the team walk up and it’s clear they heard what he asked.
“At our school, come on. You’re kidding right?” It seems like the most logical thing to say.
“No one? Not one single girl?”
I shake my head. “Hell no.”
“Okay, if you say so,” he laughs, handing me the six pack he pulls from the backseat. “You’re gonna need this.”
I can’t believe I just lied to Jagger, I’ve never done that before. I haven’t told him things on a few occasions but I’ve never said something that was a complete lie. I should tell him that I like her because it’s not like he’s going to say anything, he’s not like that. Part of me is worried that he’ll see a different side of her if I point it out. What if I tell him how I feel and he still goes for her when he’s drunk? I guess it’s okay, that’s the easiest way to get Elli to lose interest. With her mom, someone like Jagger who drinks more beer than water probably won’t make it past hello. She’d never let him get anywhere if he acted like that. I try to forget about it and let the guys take my mind off her.
*****
The night gets wild pretty fast and sober touch football turns into drunk tackle. By the time Jagger pulls the joint out of his glove box we’re all messed up but it doesn’t stop us from inhaling that thing. I’m surprised I remember my own name and for once I’m not worried what Elli would think. She’s not going to find out so why should I bother feeling guilty about it? If she can be Jagger’s friend after all the stories she’s heard about him then I’m sure she’ll be mine, if I could think of a way to clear up the whole Courtney and Morgan situation. I’m an idiot but even I’m not stupid enough to think that I have a chance with either of them.
Sometime around 11:00 the room is taken over by some seriously hot chicks, so hot they almost make my brain melt. One of them, Zach’s sister, who literally has enough cleavage to make a whole other set of motorboat-able boobs, makes a beeline for Jagger and he grabs her for a hug before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. I wonder if that’s who he’s been texting all night. He’s barely looked up from his phone for longer than two minutes and he definitely isn’t playing Madden with the rest of us.
“Hey Brie,” he laughs as she falls onto his lap on the couch. For once in his life Jagger looks uncomfortable, probably because Zach is right there as he tries to hook up with the dude’s half naked sister.
I haven’t drank like this in a long time and I completely lose track of time and place, waking up a couple hours later with Jagger tapping me on the shoulder. I follow what I think is my completely sober best friend back to the living room where everyone’s playing Xbox. All the guys are so blitzed that they’re not even noticing the girl stripping off her shirt, least of all Jagger. Zach’s sister looks beyond pissed and she’s glaring at Jagger like he just murdered her kitten. I understand when he puts his arm around a hot brunette’s shoulders. He’s not paying attention to her anymore and if I know one thing about the girl it’s that she hates not being the center of attention.
“Eric’s the real star of the team, aren’t you bud?”
I’m drowsy but I think I heard that right, is he trying to work her over for me?
“Yeah,” I laugh, “the real star.” I’m still a little buzzed so I can’t hold back. I’m okay but no one compares to Zach, he makes all of us look like amateurs and Jagger knows it as well as I do.
“Ooh,” she says, coming so close I can distinguish the last drink she had on her breath. “Okay, Eric. If Jagger’s gonna be a good boy tonight, you wanna get bad?”
Jagger tips his head back and laughs like it’s the funniest thing anyone’s ever said. Jagger on his best behavior is hooking up with one girl at a time and it rarely happens so I doubt that it is right now.
“I heard he’s good but you’re probably better. You’re super cute.”
With zero warning she grabs my arm and pulls me back to the room where I thought I’d slept off my stupor. Apparently I didn’t sleep long enough not to hallucinate something like this. These kinds of things don’t happen to me.
She’s talking a mile a minute, downing shot after shot of Patrón like it’s water. I can’t keep up so I don’t bother. I have one in the time it takes her to have six and she looks like she’s going to heave any second. She’s already taken off her dress and is trying to figure out how to pull off her bra without unhooking it. She’s all over me, pushing me down onto the bed, pulling off my shirt as we fall backwards.
She climbs on top, kissing me all over and waiting for me to reciprocate but all I can think about is how Elli would look at me if she knew I was doing this. I can see the exact look on her face and it makes me feel like I’m the one who’s going to heave. Marc and Brewski are loudmouths and they’d think nothing of telling Elli all about my hookup even though they know I like her. They’re guys, they don’t realize that women are turned off by dudes who hook up with random girls.
I still haven’t stopped her and she unzips my pants, hands on the waistband of my boxers, her tequila breath on my stomach. She’s hot and by the way she’s going for my underwear I know she’s into it. Maybe if I was sober I’d be able to justify it but my drunk mind can only think about how much I want Elli to be doing the same thing.
I push her off but she keeps pulling my pants towards my ankles.
“I can’t,” I say but it’s barely audible.
“Yeah, you can.” She’s fighting me every step of the way.
“Not tonight,” I clarify, hoping it’s enough that I won’t have to say more. I don’t want her to think it has anything to do with her. I’m not an asshole.
“Your girlfriend doesn’t have to know.” She throws her brown curls over her shoulder and looks up at me. If Elli was still a brunette, I could convince myself it was her. I sigh and almost give in. She looks so hot but for some reason I can’t do it.
I could tell the second I met her that she was one of those girls that doesn’t care about anything but the party. She doesn’t care if she has a boyfriend, or even remember if she does. She’s the girl that all women are afraid of because they know us well enough to know that we’ll take her up on her offer. And guys wonder why their girlfriends are in constant contact. They know there are girls out there just like this.
“I don’t have a girlfriend.”
She takes it as her invitation to go ahead and reach for my boxers. There’s no doubt to either of us that I want this but it doesn’t feel right. She’s about to pass out, I can’t do this. What if Jagger only set this up so he can tell Elli what happened?
More forcefully this time I push her onto the bed beside me. When it’s clear it’s going nowhere she rolls over and is snoring within seconds. Once my head hits the pillow I fall asleep too, with absolutely no action from the girl beside me. As much as I wanted it I think I feel happier that it didn’t happen.
Again I wake up with Jagger standing over me. The sun’s up and I have no idea how long I slept.
“Fucker,” he jokes, “you missed your chance. I put her right in your lap. Literally.”
I guess I managed to pull my clothes on before I passed out and he picks up on it right away, not before taking her all in in that teeny tiny thong. “Nah, I wasn’t feeling it. Too drunk maybe. Plus, I think she passed out on top of me. Besides, I figure if Jagger isn’t getting any why should I? What’s wrong with you?”
“I didn’t need it as bad as you did, I took one for the team.” He stops talking for a second as we sneak out of the living room full of people crashed out on the floor. “But I’m never gonna let you live it down.”
Jagger drops me off at 6:30 and in an hour or so he’ll pick me up for school. Lucky me, I can’t even go back to sleep, I have English homework that I have to get done before class. Jagger probably won’t even pick up a pen and he’ll still get a C, the guy has all the luck.
I’m thankful my parents work nights because I don’t have the energy to sneak into my own house, not with the way last night went. Maybe being so tired will mean that I won’t have the energy to talk myself out of talking to Elli. Today will be the day, it has to be.