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“Oh my god, I’m so cold,” I shiver. Whose idea was it to go swimming in early May? Only the skin his body is touching is actually warm and it’s practically on fire. I swear my lips must be blue but Jagger seems fine, happy even. I know it’s stupid but I don’t want to be away from him, I just hope he feels like I do. No doubt he can have any girl he wants, and he’s had plenty, but right now he’s here with me and I’m not going to take it for granted.
You know, I thought it would bother me that he slept with a girl last weekend, and believe me I’m not fine with it, it just doesn’t make me as angry as it probably should. I get the impression he asked me out on the spur of the moment so how can I be upset? He doesn’t have to explain and I have no business thinking that he owes me anything, not just yet anyway. His life doesn’t have to stop because he’s hanging out with me, I mean, we haven’t established what we are. I’m dying to be his girlfriend but I get the impression he doesn’t do commitment. I just wish he didn’t need to go out with other girls.
He plants the tiniest kiss on my forehead and it makes me feel... loved. It’s so wrong, I shouldn’t even be thinking like this, it’s too much to hope for. I wish Jenna was here to tell me if I’m making a big deal out of nothing. I can’t be trusted to judge, I’ve lost my rational mind. It went out the window the second I woke up in Jagger’s bed and if it wasn’t gone then, it definitely ran away when he kissed me in the hall. That was a game changer and not just for the relationship, for my whole life.
Right now I’m having fun and I’m not going to let my overactive imagination ruin it for me. I’ve made that mistake enough in my life to have learned from it already, I can’t waste another second thinking about all the things that could go wrong.
“Come here.” He tugs me closer and every time he touches me I can tell he wants me here as much as I want to be.
When he puts his hand on my leg I can’t stop myself from kissing him. It starts out as a tiny butterfly kiss until he pushes down harder, enveloping my lips. His fingers slip just under the edge of the dress I relented and wore today. I might have pretended to forget on our first date but I remember exactly what he said. Now, I just want to look good for him.
“Let’s get out of here, you’re freezing.”
“We don’t have to,” I say trying to be sweet. It’s his family’s spot, I could spend the whole day here if it meant he’d feel better about them not asking him to go. I can’t imagine not wanting to be around him, he’s so easy to talk to, so easy to love. I’ve never met a person who has a truly bad thing to say about Jagger. They may not always agree with the things that he does but, like I do, they see past that. They see the real Jagger, not the one he portrays to everyone.
“Come on.” He helps me to my feet and his hands are clammy again. I must have this effect on him, either that or he’s a heck of a lot more acclimated to the weather than I am.
Without a word he shakes the sand out of the blanket and wraps it around me, still warm from our body heat. He doesn’t even pretend that he’s going to let me take my shoes, he’s carrying them for me. He seems to enjoy helping me, proving it by lifting me, blanket and all, into the passenger’s seat. The very second he gets into the truck he cranks the heat. Maybe he is cold after all.
“Let’s go to my house,” I say without thinking. I don’t care if he thinks that means I want to sleep with him. It’s really not on my mind right now but I’m sure he’s just as good at that as he is kissing and my lips still burn from the last time his were on me.
He puts his warm hand to my face. Even as he puts the car in reverse he doesn’t take it away. I’m floored that someone so physically dominating could be so affectionate, even in public. It doesn’t matter who’s around, Jagger always has his hands on me in some way or another.
When we reach the main road I have to physically pull his fingers from my face and place them on the wheel. It’s strange when he isn’t touching me so I put my head on his shoulder almost immediately. It’s comforting and I can tell by the smile that reappears on his face that he likes it too.
We’re driving in the direction of my house without any more discussion on the matter. It’s like we don’t even have to talk to communicate. Like Jenna, Jagger seems to read my mind fairly easily, internal struggles and all. I wish I could get a read on him.
I lift my head to look at him as he drives, his dark hair falling in loose waves that I could never imagine when it’s dry. I’m dying to run my hands through it, maybe use it to pull him close. He glances in my direction just as he pulls into my driveway and I don’t waste a second before crawling directly into his lap the moment he puts the car in park.
It’s no less amazing than I imagined and I can tell he’s liking it as much as I am. Even through my shivering, the kisses are somehow more than they’ve ever been, more needy, more exciting, more perfect. Still, I’m freezing and no matter how hard he wants to pretend, I know he has to be just as cold. I’m dying to change out of these wet clothes, preferably with Jagger on the other side of the door imagining what it would be like to be in there with me. Shooting him a playful smile I hop out of the vehicle and hope he’ll take the bait and follow me.
No sooner am I out of Jagger’s truck than I practically trip over my mom passed out on the lawn, half naked. She’s nowhere near the door, whoever brought her home barely dumped her before leaving again. Oh no, you can’t do this to me Karynn. Why today of all days? I’m so embarrassed that I hope Jagger will drive away so he doesn’t see her laying here like this. How long has she been here? It’s the middle of the afternoon, if she’s still drunk from last night it’s pathetic and if she’s already drunk for the day it’s even worse. Please do not see her. Just drive off. I walk inside without turning around. He’ll be able to tell something’s wrong if he sees my face. And something is wrong. Everything is.