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I spend the whole day wondering where Jonah and his friends went with the car. All I know is they popped up before Dad noticed and Jonah’s got a huge shiner. Too bad I didn’t give it to him. He totally deserves it for being such an ass to me. I’m glad someone else did it if I couldn’t.
I get the feeling the rest of it wasn’t the most innocent joyride either. Everyone except Marc is plastered. I’ve never seen Eric drunk before. It’s kinda funny. I got to talk to him for a bit without worrying what he would think. Just long enough to totally screw up my feelings a tiny bit more, as if I needed that. Oh well, he’ll probably forget all about it before first period.
He seems moodier than usual and I’d bet it has something to do with Elli and Jagger full-on dry humping Saturday night. It even made me a little sick and I’m her best friend. I swear to god that girl better be keeping it in her pants or I’m going to kill her. Jagger is so not the guy to casually hook up with, not for Elli. He’s the guy you have fun with on a totally innocent level after you’re left brokenhearted by someone like Eric, boyfriend material. I guess I should be grateful. If she’s with Jagger that means she’s not with Eric.
I’ve spent all day without one single phone call so when it rings I practically pee my pants. It’s Elli. This can’t be good.
“Hey Elle.”
I can tell she’s crying but doesn’t want to let me know that. A best friend can tell these things. She shouldn’t pretend ‘cause I know her.
“What’s wrong?”
I bet Jagger tried to get her to go further than she wanted to. I knew he would do that to her, ughhhh! Why does he have to be such a complete and total horndog?
“Karynn’s drunk. Again.”
“Yeah but that shouldn’t surprise you. You’re not crying about that. What’s really going on?” Um, I’m not stupid, I know there’s more to the story. Karynn’s literally drunk more than she is sober. Just like Jagger.
“Jagger was here.”
Aha, I knew it.
“But he left.”
Short answers are so not like her. What did Jagger do? Come on, just tell me. I’m gonna find out sooner or later.
Eric stumbles up the stairs with his merry band of misfits. Mom and Dad are watching TV in bed so the guys are raiding the fridge now that the coast is clear. Gawd, he looks sexy even if he is stumbling a bit. I’m staring so hard I totally forget to listen to my best friend.
“...but I’m okay, I guess I’ll see him tomorrow.”
Something is going on, I just have no idea what. Elli’s not like this. Maybe she just wants to talk in person in case someone is listening. That has to be it.
Maybe Marc will drive me. When I turn to ask him I see him totally faceplant onto the couch. Or not. He must have hit the sauce the second they got home. Guess I can’t ask him. I know they totally burgled my dad’s wallet. Burgled, ha! That’s a funny word. And crap, I hope she didn’t hear me ‘cause I just laughed out loud. Where did they get someone to sell them drinks anyway? It seems like something Jagger’s involved in but I know he has nothing to do with it because he was off breaking Elli’s heart. It’s definitely his influence though. The influence I won’t let him have over my best friend.
She’s acting like everything’s fine but I bet there are totally tear stains streaking through her foundation. I wish Eric would streak through my foundation. My foundation being the basement. Of my house. Where we hang out. And you suck Jenna. This is why you don’t say jokes out loud. Maybe Elli did sleep with him and then Jagger left right after like the total player he is. I might have to kick his ass if he pulls a Sam and acts like he never met her tomorrow. That sounds like something he’d do but how could he do that to Elli? Especially after he beat the holy hell out of Sam for doing the exact same thing.
She gets really quiet, like doesn’t say anything for a few seconds quiet. Then she whispers. “I knew I shouldn’t but I fell for him.”
Total confession. Yet I have no clue what to say.
“Where did he go?” Not exactly what I wanted to blurt out but I’m dying to know.
“Home, I guess. He wanted me to go with him. I can’t... Karynn.” Her sentences are still super-short like she’s trying to hold it together. It’s not working. I can tell even through the phone the exact look on her face, that cute puppy dog thing she does when she’s trying not to bawl like a baby.
“Before or after your scandalous makeout sesh?”
“Jenna! So not the point.”
“He just left? Like ‘I’m outta here’. He must have told you why he was leaving. You should have gone. Why didn’t you go?”
“Karynn. Am I the biggest idiot in the world?” I can tell she’s not asking if I think she should have gone with him but if she should have stopped herself from falling for him.
“No.” Secretly I might be thinking she is, just a little bit. I mean, Jagger? He’s not the best present under the tree. She can totally do better and if it’s over, she probably will. As long as it’s not Eric then I’m okay.
“Yes I am. I mean, Jagger?”
I totally burst out laughing. Um, yeah. My thoughts exactly.
“Maybe I should have gone with him. She doesn’t even know I’m here, she won’t miss me.”
I shake my head. I would have gone but that’s just me.
“So you could get completely naked this time?”
“He wouldn’t let me. He stopped me and put my shirt back on and everything. Then we just fell asleep.”
“He really took a nap and bounced? He didn’t tell you why he was leaving? Was it because of Karynn?”
“I’m sure it was. She was actually passed out on the lawn Jenna. Who knows who saw her out there.”
“Wow.” Karynn Matthews has done some pretty crazy things lately but that’s pushing it. I bet half the town saw her out there and the other half already heard the gossip. I wonder what my parents would think? My dad went to school with her, they used to be friends and now they’re worlds apart. My dad’s busy being a parent and working full time while Karynn can’t be bothered to do either.
“Remember that time she took us to Springfield to buy your first bra? We made her listen to boy bands the whole way and she was singing along by the end of it. She took us to get makeovers before she completely humiliated you by having the saleswoman size you for a bra.”
“And we went out to eat and she got a strawberry daiquiri and halfway through it she was buzzed. Remember when one drink was enough for her?”
I ignore the sadness in her voice. I didn’t mean to upset her by bringing up the past. The past when her mother was actually really good at being a mother and I wished that she was mine and Elli really was my sister. I practically lived with her and she treated me like her own daughter. The last time I saw Karynn she didn’t even remember my name. She called me Emma and barely looked like she knew who I was at all. I don’t want Elli to think about that.
“And she bought you like 10 bras with the matching underwear. And those ridiculous red snakeskin sandals that we thought were the coolest things ever. Your feet might have grown since then but I don’t think your boobs have.”
“Hey! Jagger liked what he saw.”
“Are you sure? Because I seem to remember you telling me he made you put a shirt on. Then he left.” I pause when it hits me. I’m shocked and it’s soooo obvious. “Wait, hold on, he stopped you?”
“If I could have left my feelings out of the equation, we could have made it. He’s amazing, I know you don’t understand because you only see what he wants you to see but he’s so much more than he shows everyone at school. I didn’t mean to let him do this to me. What am I saying? I did. I meant it. I knew it was going to happen and I let myself fall anyway. I just wanted him to feel the same way about me. He just....”
“The heart wants what it wants. I guess you should be happy yours didn’t want Preston Walker.”
She laughs. Exactly what I was going for.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine when you see him again. He probably needed to go home and ice his blue balls. He’s not used to just making out, even if you were topless.”
“Jenna... I totally would have. I would’ve had sex with him. I mean, if he asked. Well, not asked. That’d just be strange. If he took off my clothes, I would have let him have sex with me. What is wrong with me?”
“What is wrong with you?” I laugh. “Really though, is that such a bad thing? If you know how he feels about you that’s all that matters. Just don’t get your heart broken. Don’t be a ho-bag like Karynn. You know, sleep with them once, forget they exist.”
“You mean like Jagger? God, Jenna, I have never been more confused.”
I hang up the phone feeling almost as depressed as my best friend. Maybe I was wrong about Jagger, maybe he’s only as good for her as I thought he was. Which is not a whole heck of a lot. Douche!
“Sam Muncey’s a douche!” It’s Eric coming up the stairs from the basement looking hella fine as always.
“What?” There’s no way I heard that right.
“He’s a douche.” Is it just me or does he smell like he dumped a can of beer over his head? That sounds more like something Brewski would do. Or Elli’s douche of a boyfriend. Douche is a funny word, Jagger deserves something worse. Then again, so does Sam.
“I got the douche part, just not who we’re talking about.” There’s no way, I’ll die if even Eric knows I like Sam. I thought I was better at hiding it.
“Sam mother-trucking Muncey.” Yeah, I don’t know how he got the nickname, never asked, probably don’t wanna know.
Pretty sure Eric might have actually drank some of the beer I pictured him dumping over his head. Shirtless. He’s definitely shirtless in this fantasy. For sure. So, what were we talking about?
“I heard what he pulled with your homework. He’s been doing that since middle school. It sucks that he tried it on you. Mr. Myers will know, don’t worry about it,” he says with a wave of his hand. This is the most talkative I’ve ever seen him and it has to be about my idiotic former crush.
“Yeah, I bet Sam doesn’t circle his answers with a little heart.”
He laughs. OMG I got so-serious Eric to actually crack a smile. Then he sends mine scrambling for the exit. “You shouldn’t waste your time on him. You can do so much better.”
I look down at my perfect pink pedicure. I have nothing to say to this. I can’t even admit that I liked him. I’m still a little thrown off when I continue. “Yeah, I know. Elli said the same thing.” Shit! I did not mean to bring her name up. “Shit! Crap. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring her up.”
It’s his turn to look at his feet, no pink pedicure for him. He’s gotta have a lot to say on the subject. I’m not emotionally stunted, I know how close he was to crying when he saw them together. It’s how I felt one of the many occasions where Sam ignored me like I wasn’t even there.
“You think I have any chance? Getting her back, I mean. Elli.”
Oh my gawd, stall, Jenna. Do I tell him the truth? Or do I take him for myself? I mean, I think Elli’s over him, she wouldn’t mind. She can’t even be mad at him because moving on with the best friend is exactly what she did. Not that I blame her, he kinda deserved it. But me? Yeah, I think the wound is still too gaping huge for her to ever forgive me for going there.
Eric’s looking at me like I have two heads, waiting for me to answer his question. He must really want an answer because this is the longest he’s ever looked directly at me. It feels weird. In a good way, obviously. It’s not creepy like he’s undressing me with his eyes. He totally could if he wanted to. But, gross, he definitely doesn’t want to. I want him to. I want him for myself.
“Honestly?” I ask.
He nods his head but I’m still not sure he’s ready.
“She’s still mad. About the fundraiser stuff. Like, really mad. Pretends-you-don’t-exist mad.”
“Shit.” He’s really quiet but I still hear it. I feel like I’m betraying her. I can’t tell him to go after her because he’d be so much better off with me. I’d be a good girlfriend, I know I would. I know nothing about it but neither does Elli and Jagger seemed to be into it, before at least. I don’t know what his problem is now. And if he breaks up with her while I’m scamming on Eric... Wait. I’m overthinking this. Did I turn into my bestie in the last 24 hours or something? The truth, the side I have to tell Eric, is exactly the same as what I actually wanna say. Why didn’t I think about this? They’re the same! Elli’s not getting back with him even though they swiped their v-cards together. She’s never going to be okay with what he said, never mind how he acted.
“I think she moved on. And, you know, maybe you should too.”
He gives me this look and I’m dying to figure out what it means. ‘With you, Jenna?’ Just for once I’m wishing something good would happen to me. I can’t stop my Morgan-like verbal diarrhea.
“Look, you made a stupid mistake,” I say nervously, fiddling with my hands. “You’re still a great guy. Really great. You’re amazing. And so cute.” Oh you’ve got to be kidding me, shut up Jenna! Shut up. “Any girl (me, pick me) would be lucky to have you.”
Thank god I stopped talking. The lump in my throat got in the way and made it super hard to swallow my spit so I kinda had to stop. It’s true though. He really is a great guy. He messed up, that’s all. He learned from his mistake, I’m sure he did. He’s looked so miserable. He won’t do it again. He’s smarter than that. He’s amazing. He’s gorgeous. He’s amazingly gorgeous. He’s single. He’s... so far out of my league that he’s–
...Kissing me.
Holy crapola! His lips are on mine. He put them there. Eric is kissing me. He’s kissing me. What do I do? I don’t even... I can’t... Damn it Jenna. Elli’s gonna murder you when she finds out. Oh whatever, I don’t even care right now. A boy is kissing me. Not just any boy. Eric. Eric Morley is kissing me. And I’m kissing him back, finally, I forgot to kiss back at first. But I am now. That’s what counts. Screw Elli, she can kill me all she wants. I will die one happy girl.