Harvest came in September and groups of farmers joined together to help each other retrieve their crops. The wives spent their time watching the young children and cooking for the men while the older boys aided their fathers in the fields. The abundant rainfall and warm sunny days provided a good yield. Since there was no serious wind damage, the men reflected that they had a chance to make a suitable profit that year.
On their fourth day of collecting crops, the men and boys tackled Tom’s cornfield. Each person took his own row and used a sickle or reaper to chop down the cornstalks. Fortunately, the August heat gave way to cooler temperatures and the breeze helped make things more bearable as they labored. Dave happened to be working between Tom and Neil, though he had made an effort to avoid Neil as much as possible. Ever since that day in the train station, Dave couldn’t think of anything nice to say to the man, so he tried to ignore him.
“I heard you got another girl,” Neil called out to Tom.
“Yes. I thought I’d be disappointed if I had another one, but she’s the cutest thing that was ever born. It was love at first sight. Of course, my other girls are cute too.”
“I bet they’ll have men lining up to court them when they grow up.”
Tom glanced over at him. “They will be pretty, and that’s a scary prospect to a father.”
Dave threw a cornstalk onto the pile he had collected in his row before he turned to the next stalk to cut down.
Neil chuckled. “Come on. You should be glad they’re cute. You don’t want them to have a hard time finding a husband.”
“I have to make sure that they find a man who deserves them. The problem I’m going to have is weeding out all the bad apples so I can find the good ones. The bad ones will take advantage of them.”
“Aren’t you being a little paranoid?”
Dave threw another stalk on the pile.
Tom huffed. “You of all people should realize that young ladies have to be careful when letting a man court them. You slept with enough women in your time.”
“Look, I’m not exactly proud of that, alright,” Neil responded. “I thought it was fun at the time.”
“That’s exactly the kind of mentality I need to watch out for when it comes to their future suitors. It’s a good thing you got honest and settled down.” After he threw his own cornstalk on his pile, he took a good look at Neil who was busy with his own row. “You didn’t get any of them in the family way, did you?”
Neil shrugged. “None of them mentioned it. Of course, I spent most of my time in the saloon with women who knew how to take measures to make sure that kind of thing didn’t happen.”
“If one had gotten in the family way, would you have done right and married her?”
Dave threw another stalk aside and realized that Tom had stopped working so he could focus on Neil who seemed to be oblivious to Tom’s scrutiny.
“Yes, I would have,” Neil replied. He glanced at Tom and sighed. “Look, I’m not completely bad.”
“I never said you were, but I thought Clyde was alright too until he took advantage of Jenny. Then he abandoned her.”
“If he wanted it so badly, he should have gone to the women at the saloon. Like I said, there’s a place a man can responsibly take care of his needs.”
“I couldn’t have felt right doing that. Sex is special. I can’t imagine doing it with anyone but my wife.”
“What does it matter now? I married Cassie and am faithful to her.”
“You better keep it that way. A woman needs to know she’s the only one in your life.”
Neil rolled his eyes. “Why are you lecturing me? I think the world of Cassie. I treat her like a princess.”
“If she gives birth to a girl, you’ll understand. Your whole perspective changes when you have a girl.”
Much to Dave’s relief, the supper bell rang. He chopped down the stalk he had a hold on and tossed it on the pile. He took off his hat and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He carried his reaper to the sod house while Neil and Tom continued their discussion behind him.
“So, things are going well between you and Cassie?” Tom asked.
“They’re better than well. They’re fantastic!”
“Spoken like a man in love.”
“What can I say? She brings out the best in me.”
Dave picked up his pace so he wouldn’t have to listen to Neil’s constant chatter. Tomorrow, he would be sure to find a row far away from Neil. All day long, Neil had been talking about Cassie and how much he was looking forward to having a child call him ‘Pa.’ It wouldn’t have been so bad if the memory of Mary’s miscarriage wasn’t still fresh in his mind.
Something had changed between him and Mary that day, and he couldn’t put his finger on it. Mary remained the focus of his life. She was even prettier than before, but she seemed more fragile. Losing the baby was bad enough, but he didn’t want to lose her too. He learned how precious she had become to him.
The grass in front of Tom and Jessica’s house had several large blankets spread out where the men sat down to eat. Dave set his reaper down in the grass and chose the spot between Jimmy and his father. In spite of the cool breeze, sweat caused his shirt to cling to his back. He used his hat to fan himself. The small children ran in and out of the house while Mildred Phillips and his mother watched them to make sure they stayed out of the way so the other women could bring out the food.
“Did Joel tell you what he’s planning to do with his life?” his father asked him.
“No, he didn’t.” He placed the hat back on his head.
“He is going to transport goods to and from the mercantile. He decided that he’s not cut out for the farm life.”
“That’s probably because he doesn’t like to get up at dawn.”
“I think he doesn’t like to work with crops. If he found something he liked, he’d wake up early. Anyway, he’ll get a place at the boarding house in town before winter.”
Jimmy Parson glanced at Dave’s father. “Charles, sometimes a boy has to leave home in order to find out who he is. I know it was that way with Leonard. Doris and I worried that he would go through life like a vagabond, but he discovered a love for dentistry and that wouldn’t have happened if he stayed on the farm.”
“A fine dentist he is too.” Charles nodded. “I do hope Joel finds something he can enjoy and be good at.”
“Are you farmers hungry?” Doris called out as she emerged from the house with two large bowls.
Tom rubbed his hands together. “Alright! No one makes stew like you do, Mrs. Parson.”
“Sadly, that is true,” Jessica agreed in good humor as she brought out the mashed potatoes.
One by one the women brought out a new dish and drinks for the men to feast on. When Mary brought out her pies, she handed Dave the slice he requested ahead of time.
“You’re lucky you get a piece of apple pie before everyone else hogs them,” Joel commented as he watched Dave smile his thanks to Mary. “I hope someone lets me have a slice today,” he yelled so the men would hear him.
Dave grinned. “It’s just one of the perks I get for being married to her. Go find your own wife to make you pies.”
“Don’t think I won’t.”
Mary brought Joel another slice. “I heard you didn’t get a chance to have some pie yesterday and thought I’d do my part,” she explained before she went back into the house.
Joel’s face lit up like a boy on Christmas morning. “Apparently, it pays to be a brother-in-law too.”
Dave chuckled. He was glad to see his brothers change their attitude towards his wife. In fact, over the past two weeks, it seemed that they had developed a deep respect for her.
Finally, Cassie brought out the plates and utensils.
“I was beginning to wonder if I had to eat the food directly from the bowls,” Tom joked.
“Expecting a child is exhausting work,” she wearily stated as she set the plates and utensils down so the men at the edge of the lawn could pass them down to the person next to him. “Forgive me, gentlemen but I must return to help the women.”
As soon as she entered the house, Doris and Jessica came back out with cups and more dishes which they started handing out.
Jimmy raised his eyebrow. “I know that look on your face, Doris. Is the new girl causing you problems?”
Doris groaned and leaned close to her husband so Neil wouldn’t overhear since he was sitting four spots away from Dave. “I don’t even know why she bothers to come to these things,” she griped. “She’s getting worse every day. At least she was making coffee and cutting up vegetables and fruits when we started. Today she said she was too tired to do much and has spent all her time sitting in a chair and staring out the window. Now I know she’s in the family way and is more tired than usual, but that doesn’t give her the right to boss the rest of us around like she’s high society. Someone should have warned her when she married a farmer, it meant she would have to work.”
He rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you exaggerating?”
“Don’t start that one with me. I know when someone is taking advantage of a situation.”
“She is being difficult,” Jessica softly stated as she poured coffee into Jimmy’s cup. “I don’t know why she didn’t stay home if she didn’t feel up to cooking.”
Just as Jessica turned to give Dave some coffee, a shriek came from the house, followed by two six-year-old boys who bolted from the door and made a beeline for the barn, which was close to them.
Doris reached out and stopped them as they passed her. “What did you do?”
“Sorry, Ma, but she asked for it,” one of the twins told her.
She placed her hands on her hips and glared at them. “Who are you talking about and what did you do?”
“We got tired of watching Mrs. Craftsman ordering you and the other ladies around, so we slipped a snake in the bed so when she laid down, it would mess with her.”
“Benjamin,” she began, obviously struggling to sound serious, “we do not do that to other people. Now, where’s the snake? We can’t have it slithering through Mrs. Larson’s home.”
“Oh. It’s right here.” He took his hand out of his shirt and showed his mother the snake.
The small green snake wiggled in his grasp.
“You are not to do that again, and you must apologize. Then you should release that creature into the field. Do you understand me?”
The boys looked down in shame, said yes, and turned to go back to the house.
Jimmy gave her a critical look. “I notice that you didn’t tell them to release that snake before they went back in to apologize.”
She shrugged. “Oops. My instructions were inadvertently out of order.”
Dave stifled a chuckle while Jessica poured the steaming liquid into his cup. “Thanks,” he told her.
They heard another scream before the twins raced out of the house. This time, they chose a different route so their mother couldn’t stop them again.
“Doris, it’s not right to laugh at another’s expense,” Jimmy admonished, though a smile hinted at his own lips.
She shrugged and returned to the house with Jessica.
“Maybe Cassie’s not so great after all,” Joel whispered before he took a bite of his pie. “I hope I get as lucky as you, Dave, and get a wife who cooks like Mary does.”
Dave smiled with pride. Each day, he found another reason to adore his wife.
***
Four weeks later, Mary completed a shawl to warm her when she went out into the fall weather. Dave had already retired to bed, so she worked quietly in the kitchen area. She glanced at him. He looked content as he rested. She stood up and set the dark blue shawl in the wardrobe. After putting the knitting materials in their proper place, she decided to get ready for bed. With one blow on the candle, the flame expired. Darkness covered the inside of the dwelling.
She ignored the fierce drumming of her heart as she slowly undid the buttons on her dress. Ever since the miscarriage, she wore a nightshirt to bed, but she was healed. Harvest had been busy with little else to do but work, eat and sleep. The men finished that part of farming, so Dave would have energy to engage in other activities. She figured it would be a good time to resume their lovemaking. Though she wasn’t a virgin this time, her nerves caused her fingers to tremble. She worked through the process of undressing with less finesse than she cared to admit, and thankfully, Dave couldn’t see how clumsy she was, so she could at least be spared that embarrassment.
Taking a deep breath and feeling unusually hot despite the fact that she was naked, she urged her stiff feet forward and settled into bed beside her husband. She wasn’t sure if he was asleep or not, but in the past, he made it a habit to wake up in the middle of the night for another round of lovemaking. She missed the closeness they shared in each other’s arms and hoped to gain it back. As soon as she laid next to him, he reached for her as he did every night. His gasp of surprise when he felt her bare waist caused her unease.
“What are you doing?” he asked, bewildered.
Heat rose in her cheeks. So much for not feeling embarrassed! Forcing her voice to remain steady, she answered him. “I thought you might like to come together. You know, as man and wife...?”
He shifted away from her.
In the darkness, she couldn’t tell what expression was on his face, and if she could, then she might be able to read him better, but as it was, she had no clue as to what he thought except for what he told her. She held her breath and waited for him to reply.
“I don’t know,” he slowly spoke. “I don’t think you’re ready yet.”
“It’s been two months since the miscarriage.”
“That isn’t a long time.”
Her tongue ran across her dry lips. “Well, it’s not, but the doctor said we could do this when I stopped bleeding, and I haven’t bled since my last cycle.”
“The doctor doesn’t know everything. The time isn’t right yet. We’ll wait a little longer. Now, please put on your nightshirt so you don’t get cold, alright?”
Though his tone was tender, his words pierced her heart. Biting her lower lip, she mutely got out of the bed and slipped on her nightshirt. Returning to bed, she turned away from him, unable to face him. Try as she might, the tears found their way down her cheeks as soon as he pulled her into his arms.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered.
You are hurting me. Despite their physical closeness, they might as well have been as far apart as Nebraska and Maine.
He sighed. “I’m sorry, Mary.”
He didn’t say anything else for the rest of the night.
***
Dave hooked Lewis and Clark up to the wagon full of shucked stalks he planned to sell to Ralph at the mercantile. Most of the stalks remained in a cellar he had dug out two years ago when he bought the land so his horses and cow would eat well for the following year. Understanding that farming did not always guarantee a full year’s food supply, Mary had preserved meats, vegetables and fruits to add to the cellar’s contents. He admired her ability to plan ahead and prepare for rough times because it wasn’t a question of if they would need the supplies. It was a question of when.
He stood by the wagon and waited for her to join him. He couldn’t have felt worse if he tried. He knew he hurt her, and he desperately wanted to erase the damage he’d done. He hated knowing he made her cry. She didn’t voice a single complaint. She simply went about that morning as if nothing transpired the night before. Her actions reminded him of that day when he saw her at the train station after Neil spoke unkindly to her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing the silent accusation that he wasn’t any better than Craftsman to cease. God help him but he actually felt like he was worse.
The truth of the matter was that he desperately wanted to make love to her. Most of the time, it was all he could think about. But he caused the miscarriage. Pregnancy had seemed like such a blessing. Now it filled him with fear. He never wanted to pick up Mary and realize she bled like that ever again. Desire to be one with her, to enjoy the pleasures of her body, warred with his urge to protect her from harm.
When she emerged from the house, he appreciated her pretty face and form. She wore a light blue dress with a matching bonnet. As usual, stray strands of her brown hair refused to be properly tucked away. Her new shawl hung around her shoulders. The air was nippy but still pleasant enough to enjoy a ride into town. The cloudy sky gave them adequate shade from the sun without threatening rain.
Hoping to ease the ache he caused her, he gave her a long hug and kiss. Her soft body curved into his hard, muscular frame. Femininity flowed naturally from her, creating an awareness deep within him that it had been too long since they last came together to celebrate the marital bed. She smelled of cinnamon rolls and lilacs, and she tasted like coffee. His body responded to her, begging him to reassure her that she was still capable of arousing his sexual desire. Then the image of blood flashed through his mind.
He immediately relaxed the urgency in his kiss and embrace, realizing that, though she responded to him, her actions seemed forced. He couldn’t blame her. He didn’t know what he could do to fix the problem. After he helped her into the wagon, he hopped up beside her and clicked the reins. The horses moved forward.
“What color would you like your new shirts, pants and coat to be?” she asked.
He glanced at her, bewildered that she would make him clothes when she couldn’t possibly feel well loved by him. “I can wear the same clothes I wore last year.”
Staring at the countryside, she said, “I’m going to make myself some winter clothes and thought I’d make some for you while I was at it. Now that harvest is done, there’s plenty of free time, and I like to keep busy. You’ll be helping me if you let me sew you new clothes.”
You should be keeping her busy in bed, came the accusing voice in his mind. Finally, he responded, “It would be nice to have something new to wear for a change. I like the colors black, brown, and blue. Thank you.”
She nodded but refused to look in his direction.
Their normal easygoing conversations appeared to be slipping into awkward silences. The rift between them grew wider as guilt, fear, and regret seeped into their marriage. By the time they reached town, he spotted Jenny and Sally walking their sons in front of the bank. They stopped and waved to them.
“Would you like to talk to them for awhile?” he offered. “I have to take care of the crop, but I can meet you at the mercantile.”
“Alright.”
After he helped her down from the wagon and kissed her cheek, he continued on his way to the mercantile, passing five buggies and one wagon along the way. He nodded to the people and the corners of his mouth turned up when he saw a woman blanch as a horse snorted in her direction. He recalled the way Mary looked when she first rode Susannah. Sighing, for he also remembered how pleased she seemed when he kissed her back then, he directed the horses to the mercantile and applied the wagon’s brake.
As he opened the door, Ralph glanced over from the three young men he talked to at the front of the store.
“I’ll be with you in a minute,” he told Dave.
Dave signaled for him to take his time and browsed through the items on the shelves. He caught sight of Cassie and Neil at the fabric table at the back of the store.
“But I don’t know how to make clothes,” she told him, sounding exasperated.
“What woman doesn’t know how to make clothes?” His voice betrayed his bewilderment.
“A woman who was brought up to be a lady. I wasn’t brought up for this kind of life.”
He frowned. “Then why did you agree to come out here to marry me?”
“Because you said you had a farm but that it contained more animals than crops. You also assured me that you saved up a sizable sum of money so you fared better than other farmers in the area. I took that to mean that I wouldn’t have to perform menial tasks like sewing. As it is, I cook. I didn’t do that back home, but I’ve been a good sport and have learned to do it. However, I refuse to degrade myself by making clothes. I will buy my clothes.”
“Making clothes is cheaper.”
“But you can afford it, can’t you?”
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced skyward.
“Dave?” Ralph called out.
Dave immediately turned on his heel and retraced his steps to the door. Waiting for Ralph to come up to him, he led him to his wagon.
“Did you remember everything this time?” the older man kindly asked as he inspected the crop.
“I did, thanks to Mary.” He reached in his pants’ pocket and pulled out the list she wrote for him.
“She’s a real keeper alright. You couldn’t have done better. She’s got a sharp mind and good business sense, though she isn’t much of a haggler.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t take advantage of her generous nature, do you?” He grinned, knowing Ralph’s respect for the woman wouldn’t allow him to do that.
“No. She’s too useful for my business. Did she tell you that she bartered some free fabrics in exchange for some towels, pot holders and blankets she made for me to sell? Last time she made some, I sold them for a great price to some old ladies. I can’t keep her things in supply long enough. She made me a nice profit. Speaking of making money, I believe she intends to bring some more items in today.” Grunting, he peered around the wagon. “Where is she anyway?”
“She’s with my sisters, but she did ask me to load a bundle of things into the trunk back here.” He jumped into the wagon and brought out the long wooden box. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman who sews as much as she does. Besides cooking, it’s her favorite past-time.”
“She certainly has a knack for both. I was one of the judges for the cooking contest. My mouth still waters when I think of that pie. You’re a lucky man.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Dave grinned.
It took both of them to bring in the pile of items from the trunk to the back room. The older man gave an appreciative whistle as he sorted through them. “These are better than the last batch.”
“I hope you find my crop as much to your liking.”
“We have enough people needing feed for their horses and livestock, so I’m sure I can give you a decent price.”
After Ralph inspected the dried shucked stalks, they worked on a good price for the crop. Since Ralph enjoyed the haggling process, he intentionally started his price low. Dave obliged him and stated a higher price than he knew the man would accept. Once they agreed on an amount that made both of them happy, he helped him unload the livestock food and put it into his storage shed for safe keeping.
Dave wondered if he would have to track Mary down at one of his sister’s residences when he emerged from the back of the store and heard his wife’s familiar soothing voice.
“I don’t mind,” she said from the section of the store that included the fabrics from which she made clothes and blankets. “I enjoy sewing. Dave said there won’t be much else to do except take care of the animals during the winter, so I have plenty of time.”
“You are an angel,” came Cassie’s response.
He gritted his teeth in aggravation. Though the woman’s tone dripped with sickening sweetness, her voice reminded him of nails down the blackboard. He shook off the shudder that involuntarily slid across his back so he could approach them with a smile on his face.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Craftsman.” He greeted her with a tip of his hat. “How are you doing, sweetheart?” he asked his wife when he reached her side.
“I’m fine.” Mary held a bundle of various fabrics in her arms. “I was just looking for a basket. I found some wool over on that counter. I thought it might provide warmth for a coat.”
“Over here?” He motioned to the various shades of wool.
She nodded.
Glancing at Cassie, he asked, “Would you excuse us for a minute?”
Cassie smiled. “Oh, I don’t mind.”
He gently urged Mary to the wool. “I think this color matches my best pants the best, don’t you?” In a quieter voice, he said, “You know, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“But I do want to make you warm clothes for the winter. I’ve seen your old things, and they’re ready to fall apart.”
“No. I was talking about Cassie. You can tell her no.”
She shrugged. “She’s never learned how to sew. I offered to teach her but she’s been worn out, so I thought I would help out.”
“I’m afraid she’s taking advantage of you.”
She took a moment before responding. “I’m not a fool. I understand what’s going on. Really, I’m fine with it.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “Do you mind if I ask why?”
“Sometimes it’s best to do what one can to keep the peace.”
“You mean that you don’t want to argue with her?”
“I mean that I don’t want her to argue with her husband.”
His eyes lit up with understanding. “You came in and found them arguing about clothes. But their problems aren’t yours.”
“I know but they are married, and I will do my part to help them if I can.”
“What if she starts using you?”
“I don’t see her often enough for that to happen. Besides, I can say no.”
He wondered if that was true but kept his doubts to himself. Finding a basket, he placed the materials into it and held it for her. His annoyance gave way to full blown anger when Cassie ran off a list of instructions on what she wanted on her dresses. By the time he was ready to yell at her, she giggled and said she had to make a mad dash to Mrs. Brown’s before the woman worried about her.
Mary turned back to the counter and selected some things that she wanted. He recalled Doris’ complaints about Cassie trying to pawn the work off on the other women during the harvest. Even Jessica, who notoriously saw the good in everyone, made an unkind observation regarding Cassie’s unwillingness to help them. It seemed that all the women complained at some point. All of them except for Mary. He hadn’t thought of it until that moment, but it suddenly occurred to him that Mary never complained about anything. She accepted whatever life handed her, which explained why she didn’t question the miscarriage. Unlike her, he questioned it often. If there was ever a woman who was made to be a mother, it was her. Her patience, calm, and generous nature were wonderful maternal attributes. It didn’t seem fair that she was denied the chance to enjoy motherhood.
“Are you ready?” Mary asked.
Focusing on her, he noticed that she had added more fabrics, buttons, and decorations to a second basket. He agreed and followed her to the front of the store, carrying both baskets for her.