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“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”
—Albert Einstein
OPTIMISTIC wasn’t the right word for how I felt come Saturday morning. Even hopeful seemed too generous. Satiated, maybe? Quelled?
It was on the tip of my tongue, much like my demon had been the night before. My endorphin-muddled brain refused to focus on bigger questions, especially while I enjoyed coffee on the stink-free patio with Bub. Along with a fresh blueberry scone, courtesy of our proud butler.
Dinner had been amazing. Even my demon had requested a second helping. Which meant that Rupert was in an especially good mood today. Not only had he woken early to bake breakfast pastries, but he’d also scheduled grooming appointments for the hounds and had spot-treated my leather jacket with conditioner.
The workday started on a high note despite my recent demotion. It wasn’t until I’d made it through the carnage of a hospital harvest in New York City that the doom and gloom sank its hooks back into me. To be fair, an overcrowded ICU could do that to the best of us. Tallying up NCH souls to pass off to the Lost Souls Unit wasn’t exactly great for morale either.
Jenni had said the Posy Unit was backed up, but... damn. They were up to their eyeballs in souls. I sent Kevin and Eliza ahead to make a few early deliveries to the afterlives over our lunch break. The ship had a sizable hold, and it’d served me well when I was captain of the Posy Unit, but it had filled up fast today.
Overtime felt like a way of life for all reapers lately, but the Posies already dealt with large quantities of souls. Stepping it up a notch for them was a bit more involved with cargo space limitations and excessive paperwork from their numerous trips across the sea.
Kevin and Eliza wouldn’t like me for it, but I tracked down Arden at a funeral home in Memphis and offered to take on a few more harvests. It wasn’t like I had anything better to do until the council and the Fates figured out their next move—if that decision even included me.
My short stint as the golden child seemed to have come to an end. It shouldn’t have bothered me so much, seeing as how I hadn’t wanted the responsibility in the first place. But I also didn’t want hellcats to become par for the grave. An apocalypse didn’t sound like much fun either.
“I was surprised that President Fang assigned you to help us today,” Arden said. “This is not an ideal environment for young apprentices right now.” He stopped beside a raised casket and lifted his hand, moving it in a circular motion over the glossy wood. With each pass, his fingers became more translucent until he was finally able to plunge his arm through the casket’s closed lid.
“My apprentices can handle medium-risk if I’m there to supervise,” I said, taking a careful step back as he yanked a soul out by the scruff of their neck. The man flailed about like a catfish caught by a noodler, but Arden didn’t let go until he’d pulled him clear of the casket.
“Where am I?” the soul demanded, taking in all the wreaths and flowers. The service hadn’t begun yet, though I heard weeping coming from the next room over.
Arden pointed a finger like the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, directing the soul to a podium with a stack of programs. Considering the Posies’ tight schedule, it was a wonder he even allowed that much.
“I do appreciate your help,” Arden said once the man had wandered off to read the highlights of his life. “But you should know, Molly and Trevor were on a medium-risk harvest when they got attacked. Before that, we only encountered hellcats on high-risk assignments.”
“Have you seen a lot of them?” I asked.
“I’ve seen enough.” Arden’s brows knit, and he shot his catch a cautious glance. “You know I don’t put much stock in rumors, but I overheard that Special Ops might be making a return with the intent to solve the hell breach crisis.”
“It’s... a touch more complicated than that.” I gave him an apologetic smile. Blabbering council business was how I’d screwed the pooch to begin with. Not that I believed Arden would turn on me the way Tasha had. Still, I’d learned my lesson.
“It usually is,” Arden said. “Either way, your success is our success, and I wish you well.”
“Thanks.” I nodded across the room to where the soul was trying to read the card tucked down inside a potted peace lily. “Is this your last one here?”
“Yes, but you’re welcome to join me at the children’s hospital on the other side of the city. That’s where I’m headed after I drop off Mr. Thornton.”
“Sure thing,” I said, forcing a smile to hide my cringe.
Child souls weren’t my cup of death. They reminded me too much of Winston and Naledi, who had both died young on the mortal side before I harvested them. But I’d already volunteered myself, and I had too much respect for Arden to back out now.
He retrieved his digital docket and transferred a list of names to mine. I accepted the file and waved my docket in farewell before coining off to get a head start.
If I were lucky, I’d have just enough time to grab a cup of coffee before heading over to the Woke Souls’ winter festival.
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CORDELIA HADN’T MENTIONED anything about a plus one for the late-night party, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate me showing up with an uninvited demon. Not that that had kept Bub from pleading and pouting this morning when I shared the reason I’d be late coming home tonight.
I expected a fly to hitch a ride across the sea with me. I just hoped he wouldn’t get squashed by a perceptive soul, though Bub would have no one to blame but himself.
As the day drew to a close, a sudden panic caught me off guard. I had no idea what I was walking into tonight. No clue what to wear or whether I should bring a gift of some sort to show my gratitude—like maybe a bottle of wine for the hostess. But did Woke Souls even drink wine? Would the gift violate some embargo of which I was unaware?
Maybe a bag of coffee would be safer, I decided as I arrived at the Phantom Café. I nearly changed my mind again when I spotted Ellen Aries. She sat in a booth by herself, bloodshot eyes staring through the front windows and up at the darkening sky. Before I could remove myself from her line of sight, her gaze dropped to where I stood frozen on the sidewalk, one hand hovering over the handle of the front door. Ellen looked away quickly, turning her focus to her cup of coffee.
Remorse stabbed at my heart. I gritted my teeth and entered the café.
Ellen’s curls were in better shape than they’d been the last time I saw her, now pinned up in victory rolls that didn’t quite go with the exhausted circles under her eyes. When I stopped at her table, her cheeks flushed with humiliation as if she expected me to rip her a new one.
“I heard about Abe,” I said, touching her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
Ellen’s bottom lip trembled. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that. I was just tired and frustrated—I still am. I’ve been volunteering most nights at Meng’s infirmary.”
“Oh, wow.” I blew out a long sigh as Jenni’s words came back to bite me in the ass.
We can only do what we can do.
But there was something more I could do.
Ellen rubbed her eyes and yawned before continuing. “Duster spontaneously combusted while I was away last week, and I’m worried sick for Ross.”
“That’s... a lot.” I slipped onto the bench across from her. “For what it’s worth, I do want to help. Maybe I could volunteer with you at the infirmary.” I stopped shy of offering to feed her cantankerous pet toy phoenix.
“Don’t run yourself into the ground like I have.” Ellen reached across the table and patted my hand. “I can sleepwalk my way through low-risk harvests. But you need to stay sharp if you’re going after souls that attract hellcats. I saw Gabriel at the academy yesterday,” she added under her breath.
I guessed he hadn’t changed out of his blood-splattered clothes before bringing the spear to Jack. It must have made for quite an entrance.
“They called off the search party for the time being,” I said, pausing to give a waitress my order. “Of the three dozen souls the Fates have sent us after, only one was viable.” I shook my head as Ellen’s eyes widened. “Tasha Henry snatched it up while the hellcats had us distracted.”
“Ooh, there’s a bad egg if there ever was one.”
I was plenty ticked at Tasha myself, but hearing others write her off still rubbed me wrong. Was she a bad egg? A bad-news bird, as Bub had suggested? Or in Jenni’s opinion, an exiled rebel without a cause turned apocalyptic threat to Eternity?
What reason did Tasha have to trust Jenni or the council? Or me, for that matter? Sure, I’d saved her from being terminated, but I couldn’t deny that at least half my motivation had been to appease my own guilt. And what kind of life had she had since then? What other options did she have? What skill set could she rely on?
A waitress delivered my peppermint latte and the bag of pre-ground beans I’d decided to gift Cordelia and company. While she was at our table, she also topped off Ellen’s mug and left a tent menu that featured the soup specials and holiday desserts. Not that she needed to. The smell of clam chowder and gingerbread filled the café, and my mouth hadn’t stopped watering since I entered the building.
It probably didn’t help that I’d skipped lunch to help Arden collect leukemia patients all afternoon. At least he’d spared me the resentment of my apprentices by taking the full lot of souls aboard the boat he shared with his sailing partner, Asha. The child souls were sure to enjoy the carousel bolted to their deck far more than the tattered board games I kept in the hold of my ship.
If I stayed on with Arden’s crew, I’d have to hunt down a merry-go-round or a bouncy house or something. They didn’t get as many kids as the Mother Goose Unit, but I didn’t want to make a name for myself as the boring Posy.
I quietly sipped my latte and listened to Ellen detail what the past few weeks had been like for her, working alongside Jai Ling—Meng Po’s protégé—changing wound dressings and fixing meals. She’d also helped Ross make arrangements for an upcoming mass memorial for the fallen guards.
I’d thought taking the time to offer a sympathetic ear would make me feel better. Instead, I felt like an even bigger schmuck. If the council didn’t send me out to search for original believers again soon, I’d have to go with Ellen to the infirmary. If I didn’t, my conscience would eat me alive.
The streetlights outside our window flickered to life, and I checked my watch.
“I have to go,” I said, not offering a reason. I’d spilled enough beans for one night.
“Thanks for listening to me vent,” Ellen said as I stood.
I gave her a weak smile and gathered up my bag of dark roast. “Sounds like you needed it.”
She tilted her cup in silent agreement. “Catch you on the flip side.”
“Not if I catch you first,” I replied with a wink before dropping enough coin on the table to cover her coffee, too.
I was running behind, but I expected there was a bit of wiggle room where twilight was concerned. Either way, mending fences with old friends would always be worth arriving fashionably late.