As soon as he’d finished with Dane, Rafe phoned Genevieve to say he’d be late for his shift and went home to shower again. His five-hundred-dollar pants went in the trash. The cheap tennis shoes, he tucked away on the top shelf in a corner of his walk-in closet.
He had some coffee, made a couple of business calls and then headed back into town. To the hospital, first. Up to Payne’s room.
Callum was there, with Genevieve. Grayson had just left—Rafe had passed him in the hall downstairs. “Hey,” his lone wolf brother said as he stopped him. “What’s going on, man? You okay? I heard something come through on the radio. A call for a bus on standby...”
As the owner of his own first responder agency that aided police, firefighters and EMTs, Grayson was privy to anything that went out on police radio communications.
“I shot a guy’s finger off this morning,” Rafe said, when his normal inclination would have been to brush the whole thing off and move on. He wasn’t one to spill his beans to the rest of the family. His role was to be responsible, to help them, not to bring them his problems.
“You’re the one who fired the shot that knocked the gun out of that bastard’s hand?”
One thing about Mustang Valley: word traveled fast. Of course, Grayson was on the pipeline pretty much 24-7. The man didn’t seem to give a hoot about Colton Oil, but he cared deeply about helping others.
“All that shooting at the range,” he said, referring to days when Payne would cart off the boys and make them stand at targets and shoot until he was satisfied that they could all defend themselves, or each other, if the need ever arose.
Having money made them targets, he’d told them.
Could have had something to do with the reason Callum had become a Navy SEAL and then an elite bodyguard, Grayson a first responder. They might not be following in Payne’s footsteps or choosing the path he’d have chosen for them. But they were products of his teachings, just the same.
“Just glad you’re okay, man,” Grayson said. “I’m on my way out, but I want to hear about how you ended up on the mountain in the first place,” he called back as he headed down the hall.
He was going to have to answer to the family. He knew that.
But first things first. Genevieve and Callum were waiting for him.
“Can I have a few minutes alone with him?” he asked after hearing the night’s report. No change. Again.
Callum offered to take his mother out to breakfast and home to shower and rest. Ainsley was due in shortly.
And then he was alone with the man who’d shaped pretty much his entire life.
Pulling a chair up close, Rafe leaned his elbows on his knees and looked at the craggy, weathered features that he’d at times both revered and feared.
“We need to talk,” he said. “And before you start to take control of the conversation, I have to tell you that I’m just not open to that this time around.”
The doctor had said there was every chance the man could hear them. He wasn’t going to coddle him because he was lying in a bed.
Chances were, knowing Payne Colton, he’d rejoin them only when he was ready.
And would not only remember all the conversations that went on around him, but would hold others accountable for them, too.
“When I was eight years old, you brought me into your study to tell me that I had to call you something. That it wasn’t right that I never referred to you by a name, or called you a name. That you had to be someone to me. At the time, you told me that you wanted me to call you Dad, like the rest of the Colton children under your roof. But you gave me the option not to do so,” he said, remembering those moments so clearly.
“It was one of the few times you actually gave me a choice, about anything, in my life. You know, my memories of my own father have faded some over the years, but one thing I remember clearly is that he always involved me in the decisions that affected our little family. So, yeah, looking back, maybe he was posing the situation to me in a way that would lead me to the decision he wanted me to make, but the point was, I always felt like I was consulted. That I had choices. And then, once made, I had to be accountable for them.”
He stopped. Took a second to regroup. He was getting off track. Seemed once he’d realized—up on the mountain that morning, lying on his belly, watching the love of his life approach a known murderer—that he had some things to say, he’d given mental permission for a whole floodgate to open.
“I chose not to call you Dad,” he continued when his mind was clear again. “You said then that I had to call you ‘sir.’”
He stopped. Swallowed. Looked at that old face and felt a moment of fear. Fear that the man who’d raised and cared for him, who’d given him a place at his table and a seat on his board, wouldn’t wake up.
“Art, food, the finer things...you gave it all to me,” he said. “And I ate it all up. Developed a healthy appetite for all of it.” He’d perfected traveling the world as a member of the young, elite wealthy. “But I’ve recently been reminded of the man I started out to be...the man I was growing up to be until my father died and the choices were taken away from me. And I discovered that there’s no thing on this earth that’s as moving or beautiful as moments with someone you love. Food really does taste better when it’s shared with someone you love. Makes no scientific sense, doesn’t add up or calculate, but that’s my truth and I stand by it.”
Off track again.
He looked at his hands. Took a deep breath. Looked back at the man who’d shown no sign of life for days other than the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. No twitches. No change of the stoic expression.
Maybe Payne was just tired. Needed some rest. So that he could wake up and spend the next twenty years ruling over them all. Getting his way.
Rafe had a specific purpose. Someplace he was supposed to get with all of this discussion. Had thought, on his way in, that he’d be there in a couple of sentences.
“I had this thought that I would be disloyal to my father if I called you Dad,” he confessed. “That it would be dishonoring him. Replacing him, even. But I never called him Dad. He died when he was still ‘Daddy’ to me.
“So here’s the thing, sir. I’m grateful to you, indebted to you. You’ve given me a family, siblings, a life that I value...” No...that wasn’t it...
“I...just... I’m going to be more like the rest of the Colton siblings from now on,” he said. “I’m going to make the choices I need to make to be the person I’m meant to be. The person you—and my father—raised me to be. A man who lives authentically.”
There.
Wow.
Yeah, that was it.
And...
His chin tightened.
“And... I love you, Dad.”
Kerry left work on time that night. It had been one hell of a long day. A long week. She still had some small leads to follow on the Colton case, but until another clue broke free, until she found something, until someone came forward, or something else happened, there was nothing pressing, requiring her immediate focus.
Other than Ace, all of the Colton siblings now had alibis for the night of the shooting. The shooter had been male, according to Joanne’s eyewitness account, which automatically knocked out Marlowe and Ainsley. Rafe and Asher had been at the mansion. Callum was on a job out of town. And Grayson had been at the scene of a car accident. That left Ace.
She had more investigating to do into his background. Going back to when he was young and lost his mother. Maybe trying to find some schoolteachers who might be able to give her some insights into how he took his father’s second marriage. Spencer wasn’t close with the family, but maybe he could give her some insights.
And she wasn’t giving up on Nan Gelman. The woman existed, by whatever name, and Kerry wouldn’t stop until she found her.
Whoever the shooter was should take note.
She was tenacious. She exerted her power quietly, simply by not giving up. Odin Rogers was testimony to that.
She was going to find out who shot Payne Colton. And she would bring the man to justice.
Period.
In the meantime, she wanted to go home. To sit. To be.
And to figure out how Rafe Colton fit into her future. Not how he might want to fit. But how she wanted him to fit.
If at all.
This time the choice was going to be hers.
She was determined. And knew that not only could she take care of herself, she deserved to take care of herself.
Turning onto her street, she felt better than she had all afternoon.
She was strong. Capable.
She could choose who to love. Or how to love.
Or not to love.
His truck was in her driveway. He hadn’t called. Hadn’t asked if he could be in her space.
He was blocking her garage.
And before she could deal with any of it, she, damned fool, started to cry again.
All afternoon she’d been preparing not to see him again. At least not immediately. Not at her house, where she’d been allowed to hold him. To make love with him.
To be held by him.
She needed to keep going, drive on past. But couldn’t see clearly through her tears. Stopping the Jeep out front, just so she could grab a tissue, she was busy searching for one when there was a knock on her door.
She opened it. As one did.
Rafe reached over, put her vehicle in gear. Unbelted her.
And she let him. Like some kind of helpless little girl.
The girl she’d been.
The girl she’d never be again.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding scared. Worried. “Are you hurt? What happened?”
And she realized... He didn’t know she was falling apart because of him.
And there was something she hadn’t known, either. Seeing him there, right when she was falling apart...she had to face the truth about herself.
“I don’t care what job I have, or where I live...if I have you,” she said, still crying, but getting the words out clearly. “I just don’t care, Rafe. If my hair’s long or short, if I’m in Arizona or Alaska, in a small town or big city...none of it matters to me as much as being with the one person in the world I love more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I thought it would go away. I thought it would change.
“I thought I had a choice...” The last broke off on a sob and she was in his arms, holding on to him, letting it all out. “You left me...”
“I don’t think I did.”
His words reached her and she pulled back to stare at him. Seriously? He didn’t get it?
“Can we go inside?” he asked. “Have this conversation in private?”
Glancing around, she didn’t see anyone out in their yards. And cars driving by—there was one, but it would move on down the road.
“No,” she said. She couldn’t have him in again, just to watch him walk away.
“Have it your way.” Moving them out of the road, he took her hand and started to walk with her, to the sidewalk, and then down the street. “I didn’t leave you, Ker, not in the way you think. My heart never stopped loving you, not for one second. It damn sure never let you go. What I did do was hide. Not at first. When I was a kid, I did what I had to do, as far as I understood, to be a good person. And...to take care of me. I didn’t tell you about Payne’s ultimatum to protect you and your family. But also to protect myself. I couldn’t bear the thought of you moving away, of not having you close, of not being able to watch you through my window...”
They reached a crosswalk, took it and headed back toward her house on the other side of the street.
“But later, when I reached adulthood, I thought I was beyond my youth, all grown-up, and ready to come home, take up the reins I’d been given at Colton Oil and face the fact that you’d never be close again. And then I get back and hear that you’re home, too. And a cop. Right here in town. That’s when I screwed up. I was healthy. Enjoying the good life. I felt carefree. Capable. I’d grown out of the young boy who’d been so lonely, who’d spent so many hours watching you from his window. Payne Colton, in giving me everything, had also stripped everything that I’d been from me. Living without was easier, because I could hide it in being a part of something important, a part of the Colton legacy and the influence that gave me. Living the high life was nice, too.”
She listened so hard she was barely aware of the sky above. The houses up from the curb. The cool air. It was like he was inside her again, a place she’d once taken for granted. There was no judgment. It was how they used to be. Able to tell each other anything and know it would be okay.
Because it came with another knowledge—that no matter what was said, or what happened, nothing would ever separate them. Their love was that strong.
For so many years she’d tried to understand how that had all been a lie. To deal with the loss. To live without him.
Instead, she’d moved back to town because he was close. She’d never even cut her hair...
“But I never stopped loving you, Ker. I think I tried, on some level, at least. I lost touch with the self I’d started out to be. The self with whom I’ve become reacquainted with this week. The self I’ve had to face with shame. I was selfish, Kerry. And weak. Afraid of ever hurting again as much as it hurt when I had to quit seeing you...but I always loved you. In my deepest whatever, it’s always you. Always has been. Always will be.”
Squeezing his fingers so tightly her hand hurt, she smiled. Walked. Cried some. It was like they’d left the sidewalk, left Mustang Valley, and were up with the clouds, in the no-man’s-land that had once been their friendship.
“I’m also a Colton,” he said. “And I love my family.”
“I know,” she said, sniffling.
“So...we have a challenge in front of us,” he continued, and she loved the break in his voice almost as much as she loved him. “I’m bringing it to you this time, Ker. How do we make this work?”
And she was back on the sidewalk, passing her house across the street, continuing on down the road.
“I don’t know.” He couldn’t just move away and never look back like she could. It was easy for her to say she’d live anywhere. She had no one else who really needed her. No one else she loved.
“I do.”
His words stopped her in their tracks. Pulling something out of his pocket, he held it out. A ring, with the biggest diamond she’d ever seen. And then, kneeling in front of her, he looked up to the sky. To the mothers. And back at her. “Kerry Ann Wilder, will you marry me?”
She blinked. Felt her heart pounding. Needed to cry. Couldn’t move. “Rafe...” He was sweet and dear, and hers, she got that now, but...
“Stand up,” she said. And while she was disappointed when he did, she knew it was the right thing.
“We need to talk about this,” she said. “You need to talk to Payne—” she remembered, of course, that he couldn’t do that, and quickly changed it “—your family...”
“I am a Colton,” he told her, shaking his head. “And Coltons do what they need to do. I need to do this, Kerry.”
“But...how would it work? Where would we live? And, my job...”
“We’re both going to have to make sacrifices,” he told her. “I’m expecting it’s not going to be easy sometimes. We might even have our first fight...”
“Oh, not our first one,” she said, shaking all over. “Remember the time you tripped me so you could grab the Easter egg I’d found first?” They couldn’t have been more than five. His dad had still been alive.
“What I remember most is that I’ve loved you my whole life, Ker. I’d like us to live at my house, but if you can’t bear to be back at the ranch, we’ll figure out something. Ace has a place in town. So do some of the others...”
She looked at the ring he still held. Wanted it so badly she ached. “But what about your family? What about Payne?”
“The rest of the Colton siblings aren’t likely to blink more than once or twice and then welcome you in. Genevieve might take some convincing, but she always comes around. And Dad, the worst he can do is disown me, and then our lives will change again. Like I said, it isn’t going to be easy, but a smart woman I know pointed out that nothing else matters if we can be together.” He kissed her. She wanted to hold on to those lips as she kept hearing the word Dad. Breaking away, she looked up at him.
Half-afraid he’d lost his mind. Or she had.
“We have to try to make it work, Kerry. Frankly, a love that stays alive over twenty-three years of stupidity and stubbornness, and then pulls us back together so completely, isn’t something I’m willing to turn my back on. How about you?”
She knew now he had opened his heart to Payne Colton. Because he couldn’t open fully to her unless he did so. No more hiding away. No more blocking the things he felt.
“Yes, Rafe Colton, I’ll marry you,” she said, ignoring the enormous diamond in his hand to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him. Hard. Deep.
Just like their journey to find each other again had been.
And when he finally pulled back to slide the ring on her finger, she heard the soft hailing of the small crowd of neighbors who’d been gathering a short distance away, to cheer on the cop who’d spent so many years keeping them all safe.
She wasn’t alone anymore.
Because she’d finally dared to fully open her own heart to the town and to the man who’d always, in their own ways, had her back—and loved her in return.
Don’t miss book one in
The Coltons of Mustang Valley series,
Colton Baby Conspiracy by Marie Ferrarella.
Available now wherever
Harlequin Romantic Suspense books are sold.
And check out the next two volumes,
Colton Family Bodyguard by Jennifer Morey
and
Colton First Responder by Linda O. Johnston,
Both available in February 2020!
Keep reading for an excerpt from Stalked in Conard County by Rachel Lee.