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Roland relaxed beneath the heavenly flow of hot water and planned to stay underneath it as long as it held out. Living on the streets didn’t provide the luxury of showering, and he literally watched people eye him while they’d slink away. He ran a hand over his heavy beard and wished he had a razor. He would need a shave and haircut to be presentable to prospective employers, but his brother was probably still at the center. On second thought, he might get a glimpse of Renee’s sister, Jeanne.
After wrestling with the idea, he dried, wrapped a towel around his waist, and waited on Pastor Eli’s return with fresh clothes or, at the very least, something without holes. Settled in one of the sitting area chairs, he buried his face in his hands. How can I face Winston? I’m not ready, but I must eventually talk to him and Renee.
Roland kept his Bible handy when he needed a Word of encouragement. He mindlessly thumbed through the pages in search of such encouragement, but the years of grief and guilt pummeled his soul. He’d denied the truth too long. I ran as far as I could. He shook his head. No more. No more guilt and shame.
His fingers stopped on Jeremiah twenty-nine and scanned the scriptures until the words of verse eleven jumped off the page, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Roland dropped to his knees. “I know these words are true because You said them. Thank You for showing me this verse. You never cease to amaze me with Your insight into my life. My doubts are hard on You. Guide Your child in Your direction for my destination—I don’t want to continue this same course that I set on my own. I trust You with my life, soul, heart, and future. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Pastor Eli returned with a sack full of clothes, meaning everyone, including Jeanne, had left the center. A wave of something had rushed through him when he saw her. Roland was unsure how to define it—was it her beauty, the way she served others, perhaps a joyous heart when she did? Whatever it was, it intrigued him, and he wanted to know her better.
“Thank you, pastor, for picking these up for me. I feel a lot better since I showered.”
“Absolutely. I hope these things fit. I got several shirts and jeans and a pair of boots.” Eli pulled a razor off the top of the bag. “Also, I brought a razor in case you decide to shave.”
Roland smiled and took the sack. “I don’t know how—?” He lowered his chin.
Eli gripped Roland’s shoulder. “We won’t be left in a place of doubt and despair. We are never alone when we traverse through these struggles of hurt and loneliness, but remember, He won’t let us remain in them. Always seek His Word for direction. He’s the only one who knows when it’s time for you to move into another season of your life.”
Tears welled in Roland’s eyes, but he swallowed them back. “What I was trying to say and couldn’t is, I don’t know how to repay you.”
“No repayment is required. Just pass on the kindness of Jesus to someone you might see needing a hand up, in dire straits, or just needing compassion. That’s all I ask in return, brother. Someday you’ll encounter such a person or persons. Remember, your testimony can aid other brothers and sisters, like mine or Winston’s.”
“Yes, sir. I definitely can do that. Judging by the number of homeless men who sheltered last night and the ones that arrived for a meal, there must be a great need in the community.”
“Please call me Eli. After all, I’m not much older than you. Get dressed, and we’ll get your hair cut. My friend is waiting. I talked him into staying a little longer.”
“Sure, Eli.”
Every community needs this kind of pastor and man. Too bad they are so few in the world.
After dressing, Roland and Pastor Eli headed back to the center. Their stroll was initially silent, but Eli clearly had something on his mind.
Eli broke the silence before they arrived at the center. “Roland, we need to find you a job. We’ll work on a resumé and feature your best abilities. Is tomorrow soon enough?”
“Why not today?”
“I have this afternoon blocked out to go over tonight’s Bible study. I hope you’ll join us.”
With an open invitation, he’d normally jump at the chance, but he wanted a day of adjustment to get his head straight. What happened that morning at the center continued to weigh heavy on him. He didn’t want to be in such a defensive mode around others and have them misconstrued. “Sorry, I don’t mean to take up all your time. Tomorrow’s fine. When do you want to meet?”
“Come to my office around ten.”
“Perfect. While you study your sermon, I’ll list my abilities and work experiences. Although take warning, it’ll be short. After my stint in the service, I roamed around and took any work I could do.”
“No worries, we’ll make do. If you recall, our town might be small, but we support the locals in every way, and now you’re back home. Many in the community and the church believe in a second chance for all. But don’t take their benevolence as a charity. They expect and require hard work and a good work ethic from anyone they employ. No free passes will be given.”
“I understand, and I won’t disappoint you or them.” Roland disliked being the center of attention as others thought he needed charity. He just wanted to be treated fairly as well as a man. “Eli, I changed my mind about tonight, and I’ll be in the back row.”
“Glad you’ll come. You can sit anywhere in the sanctuary. I have an idea. Before the service, I do a short teaching with the youth. Why don’t you come early and be my assistant? You don’t have to do anything but sit there...unless you feel the Holy Spirit nudging you to help.”
The morning had begun like any normal day but soon became a blessing for which Roland would forever be thankful. His heart was overwhelmed by the blessing of a meal, clothes, a shave, a haircut, and a place to lay his head.
After aiding Eli with the youth, Roland returned to his new abode with a sense of peace rivering through him. As darkness shrouded the snow-covered town, Roland swiveled the armchair toward the window, lowered himself, and stretched his legs in front of him. He was exhausted but in a good way. Silence smothered the neighborhood as families retired to their homes and clicked off the lights for the evening. The day came into context. Everything had been orchestrated—Renee, Winston, Jeanne volunteering, Pastor Eli helping with the youth, now a safe and clean place to lay his head.
Roland couldn’t sleep. Too many newfound freedoms embraced him, ones that hadn’t been in his life for years. Then the pitter-pat of snow melted as it dripped off the house gutters, a rhythm mirrored his own heartbeat—a slow and steady rate that would remain forever.
As a young girl, Jeanne had welcomed the still, small voice. Now that voice was gone to who knew where. Nightly, she dropped to her knees and prayed. She refused to admit defeat and continued to have faith, not because of the desert she had trekked through but because of the joy of obedience.
During the long day at the center and church where Jeanne and Renee had volunteered, she again saw the Lord’s handiwork on display, with the sad faces turning to happy as they partook in a warm meal and a kind word.
Jeanne stretched out all the kinks in her body from the long and rewarding day. A smile lifted on the corner of her lips as she brushed out her long hair, then slipped a gown over her head. Tonight seemed different—in search of how as she settled on top of the quilt and pulled her Bible off the bedside table.
Her thumb fanned across the pages, which fell open to Jeremiah twenty-nine, and a passage stood out like a beacon, verse eleven, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeanne closed her Bible and slid off the bed to her knees. “Thank You, Lord. You speak to me in different ways, and tonight I know You haven’t forsaken me and my doubts. I just need to be patient with Your journey, not mine. But I still have questions buried in my heart that only You can answer. I’ll wait for Your answer, through Your Word or with one of Your servants. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
How would she sleep on this night? The day’s activities swirled in her head, and the awful memory of what Roland had done earlier to the family sent pangs through her gut.
Finally, heavy lids closed, and she fell into a blissful sleep.
Jeanne dreamed of her brother Henry, older by fifteen years, escorting her down the aisle in a chapel. At the altar stood a man she didn’t recognize. A dark shadow covered his face. The man held out his hand, and she accepted it. Confusion swamped her mind about who this man was. Next to her stood her sister, Renee, with her arms full of yellow roses. After Jeanne said I do, she woke up. She clutched her throat, trying to breathe.
“Was this You, Lord telling me about my future? If so, who is the man? I pray he will have You in his heart. That’s all I ask. I can deal with anything if You’re in the center of my marriage with a man who also loves You. Show me if I become enamored with someone on my path that’ll sway my direction away from Your will.”
She pulled her Bible off the bedside table, and this time, it fell open to John thirteen, and the passages thirty-four and five were clearly marked. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.”
“Am I harboring any bitterness against my father? I don’t hate either of my parents. I’m simply confused about his way of raising his family. I love my parents and don’t wish harm to either of them, but why didn’t my father give me away in the dream? Are You showing me something?” She swallowed back a tear. “Won’t my dad be around when it comes time for me to marry? I hope and pray for his safety and health. Also, I didn’t see my mother there—where was she? In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Jeanne’s eyes grew heavy, and she fell asleep with her hand gripping the passage she read.