CHAPTER 12

“C’mon, Daddy, this is the good part!”

Ryan couldn’t remember how many times he’d heard that phrase over the course of the lazy Saturday. But he was having so much fun. All the parts were good for him. “All right, I’m coming.” Carrying a fresh bowl of popcorn, Ryan took his place next to Justin, who was snuggled against Lara’s side, and placed the bowl on the boy’s lap. “What am I missing?”

“Wile E. Coyote is about to get a serious headache at the hands of Roadrunner—again,” Lara answered, grabbing a handful of popcorn. She chuckled. “When will he learn?”

Beep! Beep!

Justin erupted in laughter at the foiled coyote as Roadrunner sped away. “That’s so funny. He has a big knot on his head.”

“That’s the last cartoon on this disk,” Ryan announced, using the remote to stop the DVD.

“Let’s watch another one, Daddy,” said Justin.

“Another one?”

Justin nodded.

Ryan couldn’t have planned this better. Justin wanted more cartoons, and he didn’t want Lara to leave. Her hair appointment last week had robbed them of precious hours together, and today he was determined to make up for lost time. He’d used all of Justin’s bathroom breaks to steal kisses, whisper sweet nothings, and try to persuade her to stay the night. She hadn’t given him an answer, but with Justin’s help, he’d get the right one now. “I think you should ask Ms. Boyd, son,” Ryan said. “We might have to stop to take her home.”

Lara stopped munching on the popcorn. She met his gaze, dressing him down like a mother who’d caught her child’s hand in the cookie jar. Ryan smiled broadly and shrugged. Maybe he should be ashamed of his tactic, but he wasn’t. He wanted her to stay, and wasn’t above using Justin’s influence to make it happen.

“Aren’t you having fun, Ms. Boyd?” Justin asked, his little voice as morose as Ryan hoped.

“Of course, sweetie. I’m having a great time,” she said.

“Then stay.”

“Yeah, stay,” Ryan chirped.

Justin stroked Lara’s hand and pressed his head against her chest. Ryan sighed. If only he could trade places with his son.

“Please, Ms. Boyd.” Justin’s brown eyes peered up at her.

Seeing Lara’s resolve cracking, Ryan decided to chisel the rest away. His arm stretched along the back of the couch, and his fingertips trailed gingerly against the side of her neck. Up and down. She sighed softly. Ryan smiled. Blocks of resolve were crumbling to the floor.

“It’s already dark, and it’s so cold and nasty out there,” Ryan said, pointing to the rain-splattered windowpanes. “Justin and I will drive you home in the morning, prepare a nice little breakfast while you get ready for church, and once we’ve eaten, we’ll go to services together. After dinner with the Monroes, we could go to the movies and get some dessert. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

“Yep, it does,” Justin answered.

“I think we need to hear from the lady, son. So, Lara?”

“How can I say no to those faces?” she said. “You win.”

“Yea! You’re staying!” Justin cheered. “You can sleep in my bed.”

Lara’s eyes widened. Ryan stifled a laugh. Justin had stolen his line. “Your bed?” she said.

Justin nodded. “Uh-huh. I have new Ernie sheets.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen them. It’s so nice of you to offer me your bed. Your little red car bed.”

His son smiled proudly. Ryan almost hated to disappoint him…almost.

“It was really nice of you to offer Ms. Boyd your bed, Justin, but I think she might be more comfortable someplace else,” Ryan said. “I think my bed will suit her needs perfectly. Don’t you, Lara?”

“Yes, I do. I should be very comfortable in your bed.”

Ryan grinned. This was going better than he hoped. “I know you will be.”

“But if I’m in your bed, where are you going to sleep?”

Ryan blinked. Was she kidding? “I was sorta hoping…”

“You could sleep on the mountain of clouds that make up the guest bed? That’s what you were about to say, right, Ryan?”

Humor and satisfaction shone brightly in her eyes. She had one-upped him and now all but dared him to not follow her lead. Ryan admired her savvy. He decided to bide his time. Lara could enjoy her victory. This was just one battle; he had every intention of winning the war.

“How about that, Justin, Ms. Boyd can read my mind,” Ryan said. “I was just about to say I’m going to sleep in the guest room.” Ryan gave Lara his seductive stare down. Pulse points throbbed wildly in her neck. Her smile waned as his increased. Yes, indeed, victory would be his.

* * *

Lara smiled down at Justin’s serene face. So much for his big plans for the evening. It was just eight and he was sound asleep. She kissed his cheek. His soft sigh made her heart swell. She couldn’t love him more if she tried. “Good night, precious boy.”

She stepped out into the hall to hear Ryan calling her into his room. He was supposed to be in his office working. A nervous flutter settled in her stomach. After that look he gave her earlier, Lara knew if she walked into his bedroom with him still in it, she probably wouldn’t walk out for quite a while.

“Lara, come in here. I have something for you,” Ryan sang.

That’s what I’m afraid of. “What is it?”

“You have to come in here to get it. It’s on the bed.”

“Uh, Ryan—”

“Just come in here.”

Lara stared at the door. She’d been in his bedroom countless times before, but tonight was different. There would be no watching movies or placing laundry this time. No, Ryan would get her in there and she’d forget a five-year-old slept a few feet away.

Cursing him for making her flesh so weak, Lara stalked into the room to demand Ryan keep his hormones in check. To her surprise, she didn’t find him sprawled naked and aroused on the bed, but she did find a toothbrush, her brand of deodorant, her favorite body lotion, and a pair of red thong underwear with “Saturday” embroidered on the floss-like straps.

“Do you like your presents?” Ryan called from the bathroom.

“Mostly.” She picked up the scarlet panties as if they were a used tissue. “I was going to say thank you for being so thoughtful until I saw this triangular crimson gauze amongst the toiletries. What were you thinking?”

His arms snaked around her waist. “How sexy you would look in them,” he whispered in her ear.

The scent of deodorant soap and minty mouthwash overwhelmed her senses. He smelled so good, clean and fresh. Her hands trailed his strong forearms. A low groan rumbled in his throat. Needing to touch more of him, she turned to find him clad in only a low-hanging green towel. He smiled. She smiled back. And all the reasons she had for not coming into the room flew out of her mind.

Pressing her open palms against his chest, Lara’s lips slid along the bulging contours. Ryan trembled under her touch. Her fingertips splayed in the blond hairs dusting his sculpted pecs. She followed the golden pathway down his torso, pausing at the knot resting just below his navel. Ryan swallowed loudly. Her gaze dropped further to find the towel protruding. She resisted the urge to rip the towel from his body. This had already gone too far.

Lara jerked her shaky hand away. “Ry…Ryan, we should talk.”

He pressed his forefinger to her mouth. A whimpering cry escaped. “Let’s make love, Lara, not conversation. I want you so much.”

Ryan’s soft, moist lips came crashing against hers. Their tongues engaged in a wordless conversation while his hands roamed her body in sensual exploration. The bit of willpower she clung to fell through her fingers like water. She buried her hands in his damp hair, surrendering herself to his touch.

Agonizingly slow, Ryan unbuttoned her shirt, and with the finesse of the magician he proclaimed himself to be, unhooked her lacy black bra and tossed it and the blouse to the floor. Appreciation and desire filled his eyes as he stared at her exposed breasts. Her nipples hardened as if doused by a pail of ice water. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured.

A million watts of electricity shot through Lara’s body and she thought she would sink to the floor in a pile of ash when his hot mouth covered first one breast and then the other. A guttural moan tore from her lips. His arms tightened around her, bringing her closer to the swell of his growing hardness. His glazed eyes bore down into hers. “I love you so much, Lara.”

Her heart pounded furiously in her chest. She nodded. “I love you, too.”

Their lips met in a flaming kiss. Ryan secured one arm around her waist and used the other to push the toiletries to the floor. Swooping her in his arms, he settled her in the middle of the bed. His blue eyes raked over her partially nude body. Her heart raced faster. Memories of her last time in a man’s arms—Foster’s arms, Foster’s bed—raced to the forefront of her mind. Ryan’s hand slid to the knot in the towel. The motion left Lara breathless—literally. She shot upright, struggling for breath.

Alarm wiped out the desire in Ryan’s eyes. Leaving the knot intact, he raced to her side, rubbing her back. “Lara, baby, calm down. Just take it slow, take it slow,” he urged, his tone anxious but calming. She nodded, doing her best to follow his instructions. “Breathe. That’s it.” He kissed her temple. “Just breathe. Nice and easy.”

Lara closed her eyes. Ryan’s soothing touch and caring words soon gained their desired effect, and normal breathing returned.

“Are you okay?”

Lara rested against the headboard. “I’m fine. A little embarrassed, but I’m fine,” she answered.

“Is this something that’s happened before?” Ryan retrieved her blouse from the floor and helped her into it.

“No.”

“Did I scare you?”

“Not in the way you probably think. It’s…it’s been a long time for me. I guess I got a little nervous.”

“Tell me about it.” The shirt buttoned, he moved to the spot beside her. “I apologize if I got a little carried away.”

“You didn’t. I was enjoying it.” She toyed with her shirttails. “It’s been a really long time, Ryan.”

“Not three years.” He nudged her shoulder.

“You’re right, it’s been six.”

Ryan’s eyebrows shot up. His disbelieving gaze met hers. “Did you say it’s been six?”

She nodded.

“Six years?”

“Surprise.”

Ryan stayed quiet for a long time. Lara’s anxiety grew. She continued to fiddle with her shirt.

“Six years, Lara?” He covered her active fingers. “You told me you dated.”

“I did, but dating doesn’t equate f—having sex.” She gave him a pointed look. “At least not in my world.”

Ryan frowned. “Lara, I wasn’t an angel before I settled down with Shelly, but I wasn’t Norris, either. I was honest about all that.”

“Is there a point to this?”

“Yes, there is. I have a past, Lara, and I’ve shared it with you. Hence, your ability to make snide remarks about it. But you hyperventilated when we were about to make love. Nervousness might have played a part, but there’s something inside of me saying it’s something more. Was the last guy Foster?”

“Ryan, I don’t—”

His shaking head silenced her. “I think you need to talk about it.”

“Why? Because I haven’t slept with as many men as you have women? So, I’m not a slut, shoot me!”

Lara regretted the words the minute they passed her lips. She waited for Ryan to show her to the door, but he didn’t move a muscle. He just looked at her, with those blue eyes full of love and concern.

“You feel better now?”

“Not really,” she mumbled, still toying with the shirt.

“I’ll be your punching bag, Lara, if that’s what it takes, but I’m not going to drop this, not this time. You can fumble with your shirt as long as you like, but we will talk about Foster tonight.”

Anger zipped through Lara’s veins at his matter-of-fact tone. Did he think she was Justin? She met Ryan with a frown, prepared to tell him a thing or two, but his determined look stopped her cold. “You’re not going to drop this, are you?”

“Nope.”

A defeated sigh fell from her lips. She hung her head. How would she ever find the words to explain the unexplainable? A hurt she’d never understood.

Ryan lifted her chin. “Take your time, Lara. I know this is hard for you.”

“Yeah, it is, but not for the reasons you probably think.” She drew a steadying breath. “I met Foster soon after I started grad school, and before too long, I was totally smitten. He was handsome, charming, and so intelligent.”

“A lot like me, huh?”

Lara laughed. Ryan always knew when she needed a laugh. “Not quite,” she said. “He was a corporate lawyer, on the fast track to great success. My family loved him, and I loved him. I loved him so much. We were going to have the perfect life. A new age Cliff and Claire Huxtable. The lawyer and the kindergarten teacher.”

“What went wrong?”

“Everything. All through grad school Foster was there for me, reminding me of how close I was to finally achieving my goal of teaching and the plans for our life together. Everything was perfect. Too perfect. When I completed grad school, he did a total one-eighty.”

“How so?”

“The first noticeable change happened the night of graduation. I…I was a virgin and—”

“Wait. A virgin?” Ryan’s eyes roamed over her. “You? Gorgeous you? In grad school?”

“Yes. I wanted to wait until our wedding night to be together,” she explained, reading all the unasked questions in his eyes. “It was only another month, but Foster didn’t want to wait anymore. And because I loved him, and I wanted to make him happy, we slept together. Two weeks later, he told me I had to make a choice. I could teach or I could marry him, but I couldn’t do both.”

“What?” Ryan whispered.

Lara nodded. “Yeah. He said he’d thought about it, and if I really loved him there was no choice to be made. The career I’ve wanted since I was twelve or the man I agreed to spend my life with? Which did I want more?” She sighed. “Foster wanted an answer right then, and because I couldn’t give him one, he made the choice for me. He took the ring from my finger and walked out of my apartment and my life forever. I heard he moved to New York and got married a few weeks later. I was such a fool.”

“Oh, Lara.”

She moved out of the reach of his open arms. “Please, Ryan, no pity.”

“It’s not pity, it’s love. I understand your pain now. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“It’s not like I was the first woman in the world to have a broken heart and engagement. I should have seen it coming.”

“You couldn’t have seen that coming. He said he loved you and he supported you in your career. How could he ask you to give it up?”

“I’ve asked myself this question for a long time.” Lara threw up her hands. “You know, it doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters. You loved him. You gave him everything. You gave him yourself, Lara. That matters.”

“Maybe I didn’t give him enough of myself.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I only slept with Foster once.”

“Once?”

“I felt so guilty about not waiting, so tense that…Let’s just say I wasn’t fulfilled, and I didn’t want to indulge again until we were married. I never said anything to Foster, but I gathered he understood, because he never forced the issue. I thought he was being considerate of my feelings and stayed quiet so I wouldn’t feel bad.” She shrugged. “I thought wrong.”

“It’s no wonder you hyperventilated before, you’re practically a virgin. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for, and I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t, Ryan. You were wonderful, and I want to be with you. Hyperventilating was about my issues, not you.”

“What are your issues?”

“Uncertainty,” she answered. “When I heard that ultimatum from Foster, something inside me broke. He literally crushed me. I’ve never had regrets about teaching, but I spent the first six years wondering if I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting him walk away.”

“Do you still love him?”

“It’s not that, Ryan. It’s not knowing what’s real. After Foster, I questioned everything. If he loved me why did he hurt me, and if I loved him, why couldn’t I do what he wanted? I couldn’t trust my feelings anymore, and I thought I never would again, not until you and Justin walked into my classroom and changed everything. Loving you the way I do scares me. Feeling my fears, and loving you in spite of them scares me. I want to be with you, to share myself with you, but after so many years I’m…”

“Petrified.”

“Scared out of my mind. Ryan, I don’t want the love and happiness I have with you and Justin to slip away in a heartbeat. To wake up one morning to find out it was all a lie.”

“Hey.” He cupped her face. “It will never happen. Never. You can trust in my love for you, and know I would never trifle with your emotions. We have something wonderful together.” He smiled. “I think Shelly knew we would from the start.”

“Shelly? Has she appeared to you again?”

“No, and I don’t think she will again. I believe I’ve fulfilled my promise to Shelly by falling madly in love with you.” Ryan held up his left hand, and after several moments of pulling and twisting, removed the ring and dropped it in the bottom drawer of his nightstand.

Lara stared at his swollen finger and tan line. “Are you sure about this?”

He claimed her lips in a kiss full of passion and promise. “I have never been more sure of anything in my life.” For the second time tonight, Ryan turned his attention to loosening the buttons on her shirt. The inferno that ravaged her body earlier now sparked hotter more intense flames. “Shell’s got her heaven up there, and I’ve got mine right here.” He pushed the blouse off her shoulders and dropped it to the floor. Standing from the bed, he reached for the tuck in the towel. Lara’s uneven breathing returned. Ryan dropped his hand. Concern speckled the desire darkening his blue eyes. “You all right?”

Lara moved to the edge of the bed. “I think I’ll let you find out for yourself.” She loosened the tie in the towel and watched it fall in a rushing swoosh to the floor. Ryan’s raging length slammed against his abdomen. She cast a brazen gaze over his body, wondering exactly how that old myth went again. Ryan was a true exception to the rule if it was anything like she remembered. Sliding her hand along the underside of his member, she got lost in the warm, velvety touch. Ryan’s deep groans seemed to echo in the quiet room. Feeling extremely bold all of a sudden, and encouraged by his obvious pleasure, Lara continued her slow, deliberate movement as she shimmied to the middle of the bed.

Ryan settled alongside her. His breathing grew heavier and moans deeper with every stroke of her hand. He throbbed wildly in her loose grip. Before too long, he covered her sliding hand. “Lara, babe, I think you’d better cut that out now.”

“Don’t you like…”

He brought his forefinger to her lips. “I like it a little too much.” He replaced his finger with a whisper-soft kiss. “But I want to please you, and your touch on that part of my body is a little too distracting.” Pinning her arms above her head, he branded her face and neck with kisses and then ventured further down. “I’ll be gentle with you, I promise.”

His warm tongue laved the distended tips of her aroused breasts, sending shocks of electricity shooting throughout her body. Her inability to touch him added a level of frustration to the pleasure he gave. Aflame with need, she writhed against him. “Please, Ryan,” she begged, not sure if she was pleading for the chance to touch him or the fierce need she had to have him bury himself deep inside her.

Ryan’s gaze met hers. “I plan to,” he said, his voice deep, raspy. “I plan to please you all night long.”

The unsnapping of jeans and hum of a lowering zipper joined the sound of labored breathing. Lara closed her eyes. Her heart rate increased and stomach muscles tightened as Ryan’s fingers slid inside her panties, beyond her thick curls, and dipped into the liquid heat of her pulsating center.

“Mmm, Ryan,” she moaned, moving against him, wanting more, needing more, as he thrust deep within her. He continued suckling her breast while his fingers moved in slow, rhythmic motions. Trapped in a prison of pleasure, unable to touch him and dying to have him touch even more of her, Lara squirmed atop the bed like an angry rattlesnake. When an exploring finger encountered her overly sensitive love bud, all bets were off. Her loud cry of pleasure startled them both.

Ryan pulled his hand away and shot up. “You’re a screamer?”

“Ms. Boyd!” Justin cried.

Panicked, Lara reached to the floor for her discarded shirt and bra, now recalling her hesitation about entering the room in the first place. “I can’t believe this.” What she really couldn’t believe was that loud sound had come from her when she hadn’t even…

“Ms. Boyd!”

Justin’s voice grew closer.

“Ryan, the door,” she warned, noticing it wasn’t closed and he was still very naked.

Nearly tumbling over the towel and toiletries littering the floor, Ryan closed and locked the slightly ajar door seconds before Justin twisted the knob.

“Ms. Boyd?” Justin knocked. “Daddy, are you in there with Ms. Boyd? I heard her screaming.”

Ryan turned to her, his eyes pleading for assistance, but she had none to offer. Justin sounded so scared, and Ryan being aroused and naked wasn’t helping matters.

Once fully clothed, Lara walked to the dresser. “You want some advice?” Ryan nodded eagerly. She tossed a pair of pajama bottoms his way. “Put those on.” She sat on the bed, her hands propped under her chin. He’d have to handle this one alone.

Ryan stared at her, his mouth agape. Lara shrugged.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, son, I’m with her,” he answered.

“Is Ms. Boyd all right?”

Ryan pulled on the pants. “Yeah, uh, she’s…she’s fine, Justin. I was showing her a special trick I know and she, uh—she liked it.” A pleased smile covered his lips. “She liked it a lot.” He managed to dodge the pillow she threw at him. “That was happiness you heard.”

“She’s okay?”

“She’s fine. She’s real fine.” Ryan winked.

Lara’s smiled. He made it impossible for her to get truly upset with him.

“Can I see if she’s okay for myself?” Justin asked. “I wanna be sure.”

Lara rushed over and opened the door. The tears in Justin’s eyes broke her heart. She knelt to him. “Justin.”

He dived into her open arms. “Are you all right, Ms. Boyd?”

“Yes, sweetie, I’m fine. I promise.”

“I thought something hurt you.”

Lara held the unsettled child close to her. “I wasn’t hurt, it was just the trick your daddy showed me. I promise, I won’t let him show me that trick again.”

“What?” Ryan said, the word disguised in a very loud cough.

Lara eyed her miffed boyfriend. “At least, not until I’m sure I can experience it without scaring my favorite little boy,” she clarified, bringing relief to Ryan’s worried face.

Justin nodded. “Okay. Will you tuck me in again?”

“Absolutely.” She took his hand. “Let’s go.”

“You don’t want me to help, Justin?” Ryan asked, the thrown pillow now placed strategically in front of him.

“Ms. Boyd can do it by herself,” Justin answered.

“Aren’t you going to at least tell me good night?”

“Oh, yeah. G’night, Daddy.” He gave Ryan a limp wave and tugged Lara’s hand. “C’mon, Ms. Boyd.”

“Thanks, son, I feel so special.” Ryan took Lara’s arm as she passed. “I’ll be downstairs when you’re finished up here.”

Lara nodded as Justin dragged her away.