Mitch didn’t sleep that night. He went after Charlotte and they talked in circles for another hour before he returned to his room after two. At five that morning, he gave up on sleep and headed to the shower.
Mitch arrived at work Tuesday at six to find John Windsor already at his desk. I wonder if John’s wife ever gives him a hard time about his hours.
With a wave to John, he went straight to his office and opened his emails to see if Justin had enhanced the photos. There was a note saying he was almost done and would be in at seven if Mitch wanted to catch him then. Mitch looked to the clock, five past six. He opened the file with the latest intelligence on Danny Huang.
Need to finish reading this file. He scanned the words, not taking them in.
Mitch sat back and looked at the ceiling. I’ve just read for ten minutes and can’t recall a word.
John appeared at his door.
“Everything all right, Mitch? You look dark around the eyes; what time did you finish surveillance?”
“Not late, I’m fine, how are you?” Mitch diverted the conversation.
“Good.”
Mitch felt John continue to stare at him. “Couldn’t find the razor this morning? You look like you’ve had a hard night, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. We might have a win with the surveillance. I’ll know when Justin is in at seven.”
John persisted. “Are Nick and Samantha alright?”
“They’re fine, I would tell you if they weren’t,” Mitch snapped. He withdrew his anger and took a deep breath. “Sorry. I spoke to them last night after nine or so.” He kept his eyes on the computer and hoped John would go away, but he came in and sat down.
Mitch continued to avoid looking at him.
“How’s Charlotte?” John asked.
Mitch looked away from the computer towards the window.
“You know,” John began, clearing his throat, “our jobs can make it a little tough to have normal relationships. You need to have partners who understand that or are in similar games themselves.”
Christ, he has me chipped, seriously.
“So, did Julieann used to be a spy?” Mitch asked curtly. “Sorry,” he said just as quickly, “I didn’t mean …”
“She used to be a paramedic actually,” John said. “They work odd hours and deal with some amazing stuff. Life’s far from normal. But she loved it. That was her and I never asked her to change that, nor did she ask the same of me. She only gave it up a few years ago to move into training. She enjoys that too, working with the young ones coming through.”
Mitch nodded. “She is great,” he said feeling churlish for his last comment.
“You only say that because she mothers you and cooks for you whenever you drop in.”
“Yeah, well there’s that.” Mitch smiled. He made eye contact with John and looked away quickly.
“What’s happened between you and Charlotte?”
There was silence as Mitch drummed his fingers on the desk. Then he said, “It’s over.” Saying the words out loud took all his energy and to hear it for the first time made it sound official. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and sat back to look at John.
“Do you think I’m …” Mitch bit his tongue and decided against asking. “Forget it.”
“No, what do you want to ask me?”
“Nothing. No big deal.” He turned back to the laptop.
“Do I think you’re what, Mitch?”
Mitch stared at the laptop.
John waited.
“Hollow,” he said not looking at John. “An emotional wasteland, to be exact.”
John looked surprised.
“No. Far from it,” he answered. “I think you have many dimensions. The way you relate to your team and Henri,” he said referring to the closest thing Mitch had to a father. “Those connections stem from having formed strong bonds. Mitch, there is not one person on your team, me included, who wouldn’t put themselves on the line for you. You don’t get that without having built emotional connections.”
Mitch nodded, not looking at John.
I need to drop this discussion now.
“Listen Mitch,” John began.
“It’s OK.” Mitch shrugged, embarrassed.
Great. Wish I’d never open the door to this one.
“Let me finish and then we’ll drop it,” John said. “Some people need things we can’t give them—I’ve had partners over the years, my first wife was one, who wanted to do everything together, all the time. I couldn’t be that person, in retrospect I don’t know how we ever came together. Julieann, well she is her own person. She doesn’t need to cling to me and she finds me a compatible fit. You will find that person who thinks you are a perfect fit.”
Mitch nodded, the dull ache of the separation knotting his stomach.
John rose. “If you want to— ”
“I’m fine, thanks,” Mitch cut in, not taking his eyes from the computer monitor. “I’ve got to call Dylan Ting.” He picked up his phone and dialed the number. John left his office.
“Buddy I’m sorry to hear about your bust up with Charlotte,” Nick said via phone as he sat in the car idling, waiting for Samantha.
“How did you know?” Mitch asked.
“John mentioned it earlier. He thought you might need a place to crash. I’ve called Amy and you can crash in my room while I’m gone. She said call her and she’ll let you in, or the spare key’s in the top drawer of my desk.”
“I never even thought about having to move out. Thanks, I’m might have to take you up on that one … but Amy …”
“What’s wrong with Amy?” Nick asked.
“Nothing, it’s just that, well remember me talking about ‘records girl’, the girl from the records section that I took on a date and accidentally called her Charlotte and that pretty much ended the evening? That’s Amy.”
Nick laughed. “Smooth, Mitch.”
“Yeah, wasn’t my finest hour.”
“Well she said staying over wasn’t a problem, so don’t worry about it. If I was there, I’d take you out to get pissed and laid. Raincheck on that one.”
“Yeah, that would be a big help, thanks,” Mitch said.
“Guess I’m going to have to be your wing man again,” Nick sighed.
“I’m a lucky guy,” Mitch said.
“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Nick agreed.