Callie
My body jerked awake, and I felt like I was experiencing déjà vu. Only this time, I wasn’t in a bed at Don Roberto’s mansion. I also couldn’t see. Or move my body or my hands. Panic filled me as all my senses came back to me. I took three breaths and tried to calm myself down. Antonio was a jackass. I couldn’t believe he had escalated the kidnapping to this level, but I knew I shouldn’t be surprised. How many times did I have to learn that he wasn’t a nice guy? He didn’t have a conscience. I blinked slowly and realized that I was blindfolded. I could feel the rough material scratching my cheek. My hands were tied behind my back and connected to something. I moved my fingers slightly and realized I was touching the rough hands of someone else. I was tied to someone.
“Hello,” I whispered. My voice sounded like a little kid’s. There was no response. Whoever I was tied to seemed like they were still out of it. Their body was a dead weight next to mine. I tried to lick my dry lips, but the material of my blindfold was tied at the top of my lips. I was thirsty, parched even. My throat felt dry, and all of a sudden, my body realized how dry and hot the air was. There was no fresh air in this room. I stopped thinking to focus on the movement below me. I wasn’t in a vehicle anymore. Or rather, I wasn’t in a moving vehicle. I felt scared. Really scared. In over my head even. This wasn’t what I’d signed up for. Sure, playing detective had sounded fun in my head, but this wasn’t fun. This didn’t make me feel kick-ass. I felt like I was going to die. And nobody would care. Aside from my dad. And Imogen. And maybe Gia now. She and I were friends. At least, I thought we were. And maybe Josh would attend my funeral. Maybe. If he didn’t think I was some sort of idiot. Which he likely would because even I considered myself to be an idiot. My mind flashed back to making love with Antonio in the van. My thighs were sore. My nipples were aching from where he’d bitten them. My back was aching. And yet I still couldn’t erase the thrill that ran through me as I thought about him inside me, pleasuring me, doing everything he could to make my body sing. I understood now how men lost countries and presidencies due to sex. It was all-consuming and magical. Good sex made you forget everything you should and shouldn’t know about life.
I knew I was being hard on myself, chastising myself for being weak, and I wished I could show myself some grace. I was positive many women and men had fallen for Antonio’s charm—to their detriment.
“Hello,” I said again, hoping the person I was tied against wasn’t dead. “Oh Lord.” I could feel myself wanting to throw up. What if I was attached to a dead man, and his body started rotting and decaying? And all I could see was that this stuffy space would eventually have that ammonia smell of rotten eggs. And maggots would grow on his carcass, and maybe rats would come and take a nibble.
“Settle down, Callie.” I knew I would drive myself into a frenzy if I kept up my thoughts. “Think of something else. Think about…” My voice drifted off as I tried to think about something other than what was happening. “Butterflies.” I groaned. “What the fuck do you know or care about butterflies, Callie?” I giggled slightly, hysteria threatening to take over. “What are the different species of butterflies? Hmm, are they species or breeds… or ethnicities.” I giggled louder this time. “Butterflies can’t be in ethnic groups, stupid. Monarch butterflies are pretty.” I tried to picture a monarch butterfly, but I couldn’t. “Fuck, what do they look like?” I could hear the panic in my voice. “Do I have memory loss?” I tried to move my body back and forth as if that would open up my brain.
“Ugh.” The person behind me groaned as they awakened, and I’d never felt more relief before in my life. They weren’t dead. I wasn’t going to be attached to a corpse for the rest of my life.
“Hello?” My voice was timid, and I was nervous. I still had no idea who I was next to. “Are you alive?” I whispered, trying to sound like some sort of kick-ass non-scared warrior like Joan of Arc or Helen of Troy, but instead, my voice sounded like a Care Bear.
“No, I’m dead, and we’re in hell.” The deep voice was familiar, and my heart fluttered when I realized I was tied next to Antonio. So he was really going along with this shit, was he? Anger started to fill me, but I could feel relief flooding through my body. This was part two of Antonio’s kidnapping plan. I had to give him credit; he was trying to throw me off and make me think that this entire ordeal was real. Maybe I’d submit his name to the Academy for an Oscar right before I shot him in the heart with a rifle for teasing and tormenting me. And then maybe I’d shoot myself because I was the dumbass that had initially played along. I was very curious to know what his end game was.
“Welcome back to the world, Antonio.” I was grateful that he was awake, even if I did hate him again.
“Are you okay?” His voice was hoarse, and I could feel him moving his body back and forth, trying to untie himself.
“I’m okay. My head feels like it was pounded in with a hammer, but besides that, I’m right as rain. I could most probably run a marathon right now. Sign me up for the Boston Marathon and the New York Marathon. And hey, I’ve never even done a 5k before, but I feel like I’m Superwoman now. Maybe I’ve been injected with some sort of magical venom, kinda like Peter Parker was—”
“Callie!” Antonio’s voice sounded amused and annoyed. “Now is not the time for your rambling.”
“You know that I ramble when I’m scared or anxious or…”
“I know, little lamb, and don’t worry. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
“Thanks, Mr. Mole. Or should I call you Mr. Wolf? Or do you have a new name right now?”
“What would my new name be?”
“Mr. Spider,” I said with a hiss. “Anansi.”
“Huh?” He sounded confused. “Why would I be a spider?”
“Anansi, the spider, is a traditional Ashanti tale,” I said softly, not sure why I was explaining what I had to say to him.
“Sorry, Ashanti the singer?” he asked, and I would have laughed if I wasn’t so worked up and angry.
“The Ashanti people are from Ghana, in Africa. Anyway, the story made its way to the Caribbean, and that’s how I know it. My grandfather told me the story when I was young.”
“Oh yes, I forgot that you had family that was from there.” He sounded amused. “You’re a child of the world.”
“I suppose so,” I mumbled. “Do you want to know the story or not?”
“I am interested in hearing it.” He shifted sharply to the right, and I went tumbling down to the side. “Oh, sorry.”
“Watch it, Antonio.”
“Sorry, I was just trying to get us untied.”
“Well, try a little softer.”
“I don’t think softer is going to be an option right now.” His voice was a mix of mirth and frustration. “We’ve got to get out of here before these people come back.”
“Uh-huh,” I mumbled, really wanting to say, “You mean Jimmy and whoever else you hired to fake this shit?”
“Okay…” he said as his fingers moved back and forth against mine. “I’m going to try and untie the rope around your wrists, and if I can accomplish that, we should be okay. Continue telling the story as I work.”
“Yes, boss.” I pressed my parched lips together as best as I could. I was frustrated and annoyed and just wanted to scream, punch, and kick Antonio. Fury was burning inside of me. I also wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue my side of the farce anymore. Pretending to believe him and his lies was infuriating me now. How dumb did he think I was?
“So, tell me why you’re calling me Assassin or whatever the name you called me was?”
“Anansi.” I tried not to laugh as the tips of Antonio’s fingers tickled my skin and made me warm. “Anyway, the story or fable is about a West African god that was a trickster and often took the shape of a spider.”
“Oh, well, he doesn’t sound like a great guy.”
“He’s portrayed as selfish, mean-spirited, and a liar.” My voice was cutting. I knew I shouldn’t put all my cards on the table, but I wanted him to know I saw through him.
“Oh wow.” There was a subdued tone to his voice. “So you think I’m selfish.”
“Maybe not selfish, but a liar, yes, mean-spirited, yes.” I tried to sound joking so he wouldn’t think I was seething inside. Think about your dad and your want for the truth, Callie, I reminded myself internally. I needed the whole truth about everything. I needed to know how Don Roberto knew my mother’s song. There were so many questions that went unanswered, and I knew I couldn’t live the rest of my life without some answers. And if I had to pretend to be a stupid fool, I would pretend to be. “I mean, you did lie to me when we first met.” I made myself giggle like I thought it was all in the past. “But at least I have you here to protect me now.” I shivered. “I’m not sure what I would do if you weren’t here with me.” Gag me with a spoon, Callie. I wanted to roll my eyes at how pathetic I sounded. If I were a fly on the wall observing me sitting here, I would likely fall off the wall in disgust.
“I will not let you come to any harm, Callie. I don’t know what’s going on right now, but I will get to the bottom of it, and I will take care of all those responsible.”
“I know, Antonio.” You’re going to take care of yourself, asshole?
“I think I’ve got the knot,” he said softly. “Shift your body to the left as much as you can.”
“What?” I frowned, my body feeling heavy. “How am I supposed to do that?”
“Lean into me… just shift slightly to the left. Push back into me, Callie. You’re not going to hurt me. Put all your weight on me… a little bit more.” His voice was hoarse as his nails and fingers worked with the rope. “Nearly there.” He grunted, and within a few seconds, I felt my hands were free.
“Oh my gosh, you did it!” I exclaimed excitedly. “I guess you really do know your way around a rope.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” He chuckled. “Try and untie the rope around my wrists if you can. It’s not a difficult knot. They weren’t experts.” My fingers fumbled around, trying to untie the knot around his wrists, and I started to feel frustrated. I just couldn’t get it undone. “Take a couple of breaths, Callie,” he said softly. “Be patient. It’s not going to give way right away, but you will get it. There’s an art to knots, and there is no knot that can’t be undone. None.”
“Well, that makes me feel better. Not,” I said sarcastically, feeling frustrated. “I just can’t seem to get it undone.”
“Callie, repeat after me. No knot can outdo me. I can conquer anything. I am a—”
“I’m not saying any of that.” I groaned. “Who are you, Dr. Phil?”
“I hope not.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “I have a full head of hair.”
“I suppose.” I tried to concentrate on the rope. My fingers felt tight and aching, and nothing seemed to give way. I shifted slightly, and then I decided to try and use my fingernails more. I gasped as I felt a slight give in the rope. It was moving apart. Slowly but surely, I was getting it. “Oh my gosh, I think it’s coming,” I said excitedly. I couldn’t believe it.
“You can do it, Callie.” Antonio’s voice was encouraging, but I could hear the anxiety in his tone, almost as if he was feeling slightly panicked as well. Maybe he’d get an Oscar and a Golden Globe.
“Shh,” I hissed as I tried to focus on the rope. “I’m trying to concentrate.” I slipped my pinkie down and tried to insert it into the small gap I’d made in the rope, and then I felt it giving way. “I think I got it.” My heart raced now.
“Wait,” Antonio exclaimed, his fingers moving deftly. “I got it from here.” And he was right. Within a few seconds, he had the rope off. And that was all he needed to get everything else in motion. In what felt like a few moments, Antonio had untied himself and was getting to work on my ropes and blindfolds. I blinked in the dark, but it wasn’t as dark as it had been in the van. I stared at him as we sat there, free of our bindings. “We can see each other again.” Antonio’s fingers reached up, and he touched the side of my face and then my lips. “Are you okay?”
“I guess so.” I nodded. I felt shy for some reason. Almost like this was the first time we were seeing each other in a long time. “You?”
“I’m fine.” He jumped up and walked around the periphery of the small room. “Where the fuck are we?”
“You tell me.” I tried not to sound accusatory as I stood up slowly. My head felt woozy, and my stomach grumbled.
“Sit down, Callie. You need to preserve your energy for now,” he commanded, and I rolled my eyes. He really was far too bossy. It was annoying.
“I’m fine,” I grumbled as I ran my fingers along the side of the wall, seeing if I could find a door or window. I trembled slightly at the cobwebs I felt on the somewhat moist wall. Where the hell were we? And if there were cobwebs, did it mean there were a lot of spiders in the room alongside us? I hated spiders. If I felt one on me, I would scream. Not that it would do anything. Or would it? I let out a bloodcurdling scream and banged my hands against the wall. “Let us out, help, help!”
“Callie.” Antonio made his way over to me. “Stop.”
“I don’t want to be in here anymore. I want to get out,” I shouted and banged my hands against the wall again. “I want to go home. Imogen is going to be worried about me. People care about me. They’re going to call the police, Antonio.” I didn’t know if that was meant to be a threat or not, but I wanted to get out of there. I didn’t do spiders, or cockroaches, or rats, or anything. And I was hungry and needed the restroom. And I think that was what I was most worried about. Where the hell was I going to go to the bathroom in this room? I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in for much longer.
“Callie.” Antonio rubbed the small of my back. “No one is coming. Listen. There’s no sounds outside of this room. We’re alone. I would assume we’re here for the night unless we can figure out a way to escape.”
“I don’t want to be here for the night.” I brushed past him, running my fingers up and down the wall erratically. “There has to be an exit.” I stumbled forward as I tripped over something. “Ow.” I leaned down and felt around to see what I’d tripped over. There was a bottle of water, a plate with a couple of apples, something in plastic wrappers, and a Ziploc bag of something. I unzipped it and reached my hand in. I screamed as I felt something wiggling back and forth.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. But there’s something alive in these bags.” My stress levels were at the pinnacle of the mountain now, and I knew one more surprise would push me over, and I’d go falling into the abyss.
“What do you mean, something alive?” He sounded frustrated.
“If I knew what it was, I would have said.” I pushed him. “Don’t you know?”
“How the hell would I know?” He bent down and touched around. He grunted and then exclaimed. “What the…” He swore under his breath. “Worms and beetles, I think.”
“What?”
“In the bag.” He sighed. “The live insects you touched.”
“Worms are not insects,” I said automatically, like the nerd I was. “Worms are invertebrate animals with bilateral symmetry.”
“Um, okay.” Antonio sounded bemused. “But there’s no need to panic. I thought there were chicken heads or fingers on the plate, the way you were going on.”
“Well, forgive me for thinking it was something horrible. There was a dead horse’s head on my roommate’s bed a couple of weeks ago,” I said sarcastically, and Antonio didn’t respond.
“I’m not sure why there are worms and beetles, though.” He sounded confused, and I wanted to slap him.
“You don’t know much of anything, do you?” I grabbed the bottle of water and took a sip. That had been a mistake, though. Even though I was thirsty, drinking made me need the restroom even more.
“Maybe we’re meant to go fishing,” he said, ignoring my dig. “Maybe the bugs are a clue that we’re near a lake or something.”
“Oh yeah…maybe that’s a clue and you figured it out already,” I said sarcastically. Maybe because you set it all up yourself, loser. “You’re so smart, Antonio.”
“You really did hit your head, didn’t you, Callie?” He sounded amused.
“Why would you say that?”
“All of your compliments?” he said, reaching out to pull me into him. His voice was husky as he looked down into my eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I nodded, my stomach churning with a mixture of emotions. “Why do you ask?”
“Because we’ve both been kidnapped and were locked up in a strange room.”
“I know you’ll take care of me,” I said, staring at his lips. I could feel his body hot and sticky next to me. His body was hard and muscular, and I could feel his muscles were tensed as he held me to him.
“I was so worried that something was going to happen to you.” He sounded grim. “We’re going to have to figure out a way to get out of here. Whoever brought us here was not playing games. We’re not safe. I don’t want to scare you.” He brushed some hair away from my face, then pulled it back slightly so that my head was brought back as well. He looked down at me, an intense look on his face. “Whoever brought us here is not playing games with us.” He scowled. “We need to figure a way out of here.”
“I hate to say this, but my most pressing need is to use the restroom,” I whispered and looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed. I didn’t want to talk about going to the toilet in front of him, but I knew I had about thirty minutes before I peed my pants—if that.
“Oh.” He sounded flummoxed. Was this something he hadn’t anticipated? Was there no bucket or Porta Potty for me to use hidden in a corner somewhere?
“Antonio, I’m busting.” I cringed in embarrassment at my words, but I didn’t care. I had to go.
“Okay, well…” He moved around the room quickly. “Let me see if I can find a place…” His voice drifted off as I let out a low whine. This was not sounding promising at all. “Okay, so we have some bowls and the water bottle.”
“The water bottle has the water!” I shouted. “We need to drink that.”
“Then…” He sighed. “I think you have two options.”
“What are my two options?” I asked hopefully. Maybe one of the options would be him saying, “Let me use my key to let us out of here so you can use a proper toilet and wipe yourself with double-ply toilet paper and then you can have a quick shower and scrub off the dirt that’s covering your body.”
“You can pee on the floor in the corner or you can pee in the bag.”
“What bag?” I screeched, my face growing hot.
“The bag with the worms.”
“Oh my gosh…” I swallowed hard. Neither of those options sounded great. “Is there a third option? Please let there be a third option.”
“You can pee on me… golden shower style,” he said teasingly. “You can pick your body part.”
“Ew. That’s disgusting.” I shuddered at the thought. “You’re nasty, Antonio.”
“I’m just joking,” he said quickly. “You wanted a third option.”
“I didn’t think your dirty sexual perversions would be an option,” I told him.
“Thanks for reminding me that you’re basically untouched.”
“What does that mean?”
“If you think you peeing on me is a dirty and sexual perversion…” He shook his head. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I’ve had a girl poop when we were doing anal.” He said, and I cringed.
“That’s nasty.” Even though I was slightly disgusted, I felt a twinge of jealousy at his words. I didn’t want to think about him with other women.
“It happens.” His voice was husky. “And if you poop when we do anal, I’ll just clean it up.”
“You’re so gross.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me.
“What?” He growled. “And maybe one day I’ll even eat out your booty hole as well. Show you how dirty this big boy can be.”
“Antonio.” I licked my lips, surprised at how turned on I was by his words. What the hell was wrong with me?
“And to be clear, I’ve never licked a booty hole or had a woman piss on me before.” His voice was low. “You’d be my first.”
“No thanks.” I rubbed my forehead. “Hand me the plastic bag, please.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded his head as he handed it to me. “I hope no worms try and—”
“Antonio, shut it.” I grabbed the Ziploc bag from him and shuddered. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say right now. In fact, I want you to go into the corner and sing loudly.”
“What?” He sounded confused.
“I don’t want you listening to me go to the toilet.”
“What should I sing?”
“Figure it out.” I hurried to the other side of the room and pulled my pants down before squatting and holding the bag between my legs. I had no idea if this was going to work. Knowing my luck, pee was going to go everywhere. I tried to pee, but the silence in the room made me too nervous. “Antonio, please sing,” I pleaded with him.
“Fine,” he said, and then he started rapping a Snoop Dogg song. If I weren’t so tense, I would have burst out laughing. That was the last thing I’d expected. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was sitting on my toilet back home. And then I felt the sweet release from my bladder. It seemed to last forever, and there was a little bit of splash, but nothing like I’d been worried about. When I finished, I pressed the bag closed again and put it on the ground. Antonio started rapping to Eminem, and this time I did allow myself a giggle.
“You can stop now,” I said as I pulled up my pants quickly, feeling much better than I’d been feeling just a few moments before.
“You done everything you need to do?” he asked, heading back over to me. He stopped right in front of me, and I could see his eyes searching my face. “Are you hungry?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I couldn’t eat anything right now.”
“Yeah, me either.” He grabbed my hand. “Come and sit down. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”
“You don’t think we’re going to get out of here tonight?” My voice raised, and I could see his eyes narrowing as he gazed around the room.
“No, I don’t think we are.” We walked to the corner of the room, sat down, and leaned our backs against the wall. It was starting to feel cold, and the musty smell was overwhelming. We sat there for a few minutes, wrapped up in our own thoughts.
“Tell me about your mom,” he asked me softly, his face twisting to look at mine.
“Why?”
“We’re connected by the loss of our mothers.” His voice sounded distant. “I thought we could share some memories. I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I loved my mom. I felt robbed of her presence in my life, but I didn’t know how to share that with Antonio. It was a wound I’d carried around all my life, but because it wasn’t visible, no one understood how much it affected me, not even Imogen, and she’d been my best friend for years.
“I can tell you about a memory that I have.” He ran his fingers through his hair and then cleared his throat. “It was when I was young. My mom took me to a store, and I was trying to get her to buy me a truck. And she was frazzled about something and kept telling me no. But I kept saying I wanted this truck. So, I grabbed the truck and ran to another aisle. After a few moments, I went back to see if she’d relented, but she was gone.” He stopped and turned to me, his eyes burning a hole into mine. “And I can still remember the panic that ran through me. ‘Mom,’ I said softly at first. And then I looked around and said it a little louder. I went running and looking all around me. ‘Mom, Mom, Mom.’” His voice was breaking slightly as he told the story. “And I remember thinking she was gone, that she’d left me because I wouldn’t take no for an answer about the truck.”
“What happened?” I asked him softly, my heart breaking for the little boy that thought his mom had lost him.
“She grabbed me from behind and hugged me and kissed me and told me she’d been looking for me and that I was to never go off by myself again,” he said, reaching for my hand. “And then she told me she would never leave me and that if I was ever lost to stay in one place and to just keeping calling, ‘Mom,’ and that she’d always appear.” He squeezed my hand tightly. “And so, when she died, when we were at the funeral, after everyone was leaving, I wouldn’t move. I just stood there by her grave. And I made Alessandro stand there with me. And I just kept calling out, ‘Mom, Mom, Mom, I’m here, Mom.’” He took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t leave. My nonna tried to pick me up, but I wouldn’t budge. My dad threatened to beat me. I didn’t move. I needed her to come back. I needed her to find me. I needed her to hug me and kiss me and tell me it was all going to be all right.” He let out a guttural sound, let go of my hand, and jumped up. “But she never came back. That was one promise she didn’t keep.”
“She would have kept it if she could have, Antonio.” I stood up slowly, my heart full of emotions for this broken man. “You know that, right?”
“I don’t know.” His voice was frenzied. “She left me. She abandoned me. I had no one to care for me. No one to love me. No one to give a shit about if I lived or died. My dad, I’m nothing to him. He despises me almost as much as I despise him.”
“You have Alessandro,” I said softly. “You have Jimmy.”
“My brothers.” He nodded. “My life.”
“And you have me.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my arms. And as fucked up as everything was, he did. I was falling for this man. Maybe I’d fallen the first time I’d seen him. I didn’t know, but we were irrevocably attached to each other. As much as I hated him. As much as I was playing a game, I understood where he was coming from. And I knew that would be my downfall. You couldn’t fall for your captor. You couldn’t fall for the man responsible for turning your world upside down. You couldn’t, and you shouldn’t, but I had. It was just another complicated notch in our already complicated story. I was falling for him, but I knew that wouldn’t stop me from doing whatever I had to do to get the whole truth from him. I didn’t know what game Antonio was playing, but I knew that I, Callie Rowney, was paying to win, no matter the cost to my heart.