Ayurveda is truly holistic. It doesn’t simply tell you what kinds of foods to eat or what practices will improve your mental health. Ayurveda takes it a step further, into the realm of spiritual healing. But you don’t need to escape from everyday life to live in a cave somewhere in the Himalayas or meditate for hours on end to feel spiritual wellbeing. There are many practical ways to feel more spiritually connected daily in short pockets of time.
It all starts with a shift in how we think about love.
I struggled to understand how to get along better with my parents. I thought the way to improve our relationship was to love them more, but my teacher taught me that I needed to love myself more. How counterintuitive! The love we give others is equal to the love we give ourselves.
We have three main relationships in our lives: our relationship with objects (such as our computers, cars, and cell phones), our relationship with other people, and our relationship with our very own Self. A great force or power, called the higher Self, lives within each of us. The higher Self/spirit/consciousness in me is the same as it is in you. We’re essentially one. That’s why Indians greet each other with “Namaste”: the Self in me bows to the Self in you. When we act from oneness, we act from the higher, spiritual aspects of ourselves.
Ayurveda teaches you to love and care for your body and mind so you can ultimately attain a state of oneness with a higher aspect within, and to connect with that in others, too. Loving others begins with loving yourself.
There’s a direct connection between oiling your body and loving yourself. Oiling is one of my favorite daily self-care practices. According to the Ayurvedic text Ashtanga Hrdayam, oiling “wards off old age symptoms and exertion, bestows good vision, nourishes your body, and equips you with longevity, good sleep, and healthy skin.”
What happens to a piece of leather when it gets really dry? It falls apart, right? This also happens to your joints. When excess dryness accumulates in your joints, they start crackling, snapping, and, yes, popping. There can be pain, too. Apply oil to the same piece of leather and it becomes stronger and lasts longer. Same for your joints. That’s why Ayurveda recommends oiling your body daily, preventing wear and tear while making your skin glow. I used to look older when I was younger. Now people usually think I am younger — thanks, in large part, to my daily oiling practice.
Many of my clients and students have had similar positive experiences. One client, who had knee pain because of Baker’s cysts, shared how she was able to relieve her pain through oiling. “Though a specialist could diagnose my problem, none of the specialists I saw could help me with a specific solution to my problem. And although I haven’t had any issues with other parts of my body, I can feel a difference in this entire bag o’ bones! It relieves the pain! My knees feel so much better. It makes me feel young again (among the other Ayurvedic processes)!”
The feeling I get when I oil my body is similar to giving or receiving a hug from someone I really love. It’s very liberating to fill myself up with my own love — and feel and look better physically in the process.
Loving your body with oil is recommended throughout the year, with the exception of spring if you have excess fluid and phlegm in the form of nasal or lung congestion or cold symptoms.
In winter and spring, or any time you have pain, use warm organic sesame oil. In summer and fall, use warm coconut oil, as coconut oil has a cooling potency. If you’re unsure whether your body needs cooling or heating oil, you can use a mixture of coconut and sesame oils.
Ayurvedic texts recommend oiling three parts of your body right before you go to bed:
There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. We all experience loneliness from time to time, whether or not we’re alone. During some of the loneliest times of my life I was physically surrounded by many people, but I felt like no one understood me.
I used to spend so much time and energy making myself into what others wanted me to be, or trying to gain popularity in a particular school or social circle. Now in my alone time, I’ve had the opportunity to learn who I am. I do my best creative work when I give myself solitude, which allows me to hear my spirit’s deeper stirrings. It also gives me time and space to reflect on my actions, reactions, and overall life direction.
Solitude nurtures personal transformation. You’ll need daily time in solitude to put the new ways of living this book presents into practice. Even if it’s only 5 to 10 minutes in the morning, that small pocket of solitude will make a big difference in supporting a healthier and happier life.
At first, solitude may be uncomfortable. Hidden memories may resurface. This can feel frightening, but know that whatever becomes visible will lose power as you bring it to the light of awareness. Seeing what’s been hidden is a powerful first step toward healing.
Silence and solitude are close companions. It’s difficult to align with your spirit when you’re distracted by the noise of other people, a radio, telephone, television, or loud music. In Ayurveda, silence is intimately connected with the element of space. Like space, silence is as expansive as the sky. It’s an essential ingredient for a spiritual life.
To heal the deeper issues in your life, you must first see them. This is hard to do if you are always distracted by your cell phone or a television screen. I used to try to fill up all my time with company, work, and other distractions. I realized later how I was subconsciously avoiding going inside and feeling intense emotions. In carving out silent time to sit with whatever arises, however, I find that the emotions always pass when I mindfully accept their presence. I also realize that I can apply the mental heath–promoting tools I’ve learned (including all of the inner practices in this and the previous two chapters).
Silence can give you a new pair of eyes to receive transformational insights and clarity about things that once deluded you. Silence is the space in which your own wisdom can flower. It’s the fertile soil for the garden of a peaceful, clear, and compassionate mind to grow, from the connection you cultivate with your spiritual essence. Silence is a gift you can give yourself, in small pockets, daily. Your spirit will thank you for it.
Ayurveda believes having a strong spiritual connection with your higher Self is the key to preventing diseases and protecting your health. It starts by seeking your own approval.
Like so many of us, I was conditioned to believe that everything worth seeking was outside myself. I spent so much time, energy, and resources trying to manifest love, health, happiness, and a sense of security from socially acceptable sources: my work, relationships, achievements, or even service and giving.
I remember when my teacher asked me to organize a large photo archive at Vedika Global. It was an important project, the first of many service projects. Soon after starting, I was surprised when she asked me to dispense with the project, as she sensed I was doing it out of a desire for her approval. Four years later, I went back and completed the project without being asked. My teacher’s excitement and thank-yous were far less important to me than the great satisfaction of doing something for the right inner reasons.
Mindfully cultivating a relationship with your higher Self by seeking your own approval makes you much less hungry for others’ approval, love, and attention. Seeking your own approval ensures that your actions come from a space of service, rather than the trap of wanting others to approve of you.
Developing a “designer relationship,” as my teacher says, with your own Self is so exciting. You get to learn how to fill yourself up with what really matters, and give yourself your own stamp of approval for following through on your higher intentions.
This is very important for those of us who are givers or in service positions. I used to give a lot when I felt empty inside. I sought fulfillment from the outer world, which I quickly learned couldn’t give me the deep fulfillment that ultimately comes from cultivating a relationship with my own higher Self.
When I gave while feeling empty, I often felt even more empty and depleted afterward. When I felt empty, it was important to turn inward, to receive more by listening to what my higher knowing was willing to communicate with me if I took the time to listen. It’s best to go to a teacher when you feel empty, as that emptiness allows you to be an open vessel to receive knowledge and guidance.
I was deeply affected when my teacher advised, “Give when you feel full.” To me, this meant regularly devoting myself to activities that give me a sense of nourishment, including all the practices in this book, so that I could give from a place where I feel completely satisfied — and don’t need anything in return. Not even a thank-you. Give from fullness, and you will feel your abundance multiply and grow in beautiful ways.
The lotus is an amazing flower. It grows out of mud. It doesn’t allow water to enter it; rain droplets dance on its leaves until the sun causes the water to evaporate. Just as the lotus grows a beautiful flower out of the mud, we can be in negative situations and yet keep our minds free from repeating negative patterns with the power of awareness and intention. We can be like the lotus, able to grow from the muck of negativity.
This takes practice. We may need support from a trusted counselor, teacher, or friend. Ultimately, the goal must be to become your own best friend. When you hold on to emotions like anger, you’re the one who ends up suffering — it’s like eating poison and expecting the person you’re angry with to become sick. The lotus is the ultimate symbol of forgiveness and the power and beauty we gain from it.
Forgiveness is a gift you can give yourself, first and foremost. We can’t change the past, but we can change how we respond to challenges instead of unconsciously reacting to them. Therein lies the key to true freedom. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning another’s actions, either. To really forgive, you have to experience all of your emotions — anger, pain, vulnerability, and grief. It takes vulnerability and courage to feel, and you have to feel to heal. Who are you holding on to anger toward? What past wounds are keeping you stuck in destructive behaviors? Honestly answering these questions is a brave first step toward forgiveness.
Forgiveness and mindfully letting go of your attachment to your own pain can be a long journey, but it’s most worthwhile. Trust me. I lived with anger, pain, and grief; it was worth feeling all of these emotions fully to free myself from the unconscious grip they held. You can free yourself, too. The morning rituals in the next chapter will be particularly beneficial to you in the process. It takes time, but you’re worth whatever time it takes to heal.
In today’s busy world, we’re accustomed to wanting it all and wanting it now. However, true transformation, which is not merely an intellectual experience, takes time. Slowing down and cultivating patience is a practice of developing that deep inner intuition that can sense when someone or something in your life “feels right.” Patience is an essential ingredient in attaining the ultimate goal of Ayurveda, yoga, and Vedanta — atma bodha, which means to know (bodha) your own higher Self (atma).
Visiting the Taj Mahal (photo at right) brought the value of patience to life for me. I saw the considerable amount of time, love, and attention that went into every single small piece of colored glass, each of which was first cut by hand, precisely chiseled to the correct size, and traced onto cement, which was then carved to fit the glass piece in just the right way. The artists then repeated this process at least 20 times to complete just one of the millions of flowers (each no bigger than the size of your palm) that cover the halls and walls of the Taj Mahal. The Taj Mahal took 16 years of dedicated, slow, intense, patient labor to create. Now it serves as a great wonder of the world and inspires countless people.
To be a patient, too, takes great patience. Contrary to the quick-fix solutions we are bombarded with in the modern world, true healing takes time. Many of the practices in this book will provide immediate relief; others will take longer to bear fruit. Take on one step or practice at a time and really stick with it. The more patient you are with your healing process, the more you’ll enjoy the health and freedom that Ayurveda reminds you is your birthright.
There’s no need to do everything at once. Try slowing down any sped-up activity you do today. Perhaps that means walking more slowly or slowing down your speech. Whatever it is, see if slowing down helps you feel more grounded, calm, and clear.
Your life is ultimately your work of art. Take your time creating, and make sure to savor each step of the beautiful process of changing your life.
The snake is an amazing animal with strong survival power; if it’s hungry and there’s no food, it simply eats its own tail — and then grows a new tail. A snake sheds its skin and moves on. In Ayurveda, a medicine made from cobra venom is said to remove all poisons.
In Cobra Pose (Bhujangasana), my teacher shares, “we evoke the spirit of the cobra: the poison that will destroy all poison. This pose will increase your ability to take in all poisons and endure. You will need the strength and survivor spirit of the cobra to experience the emotional and physical clearing that you will face on the spiritual path, to shed your old skin and move on.”
To do Cobra Pose, lie on your abdomen with your hands beneath your shoulders. Lift your head, neck, shoulders, and chest off the ground, pulling yourself up with the muscles in your spine, starting from the base of your spine. The snake is so strong because it’s essentially one long muscle. Close your eyes and imagine yourself to be as strong, powerful, and independent as a thousand-headed cobra. Reclaim your power as you rise, strong and free, like the majestic cobra.
Sun salutations (Surya Namaskar) are a series of 12 poses, the first of which is Respectful Greeting Pose (Pranamasana). This pose allows you to maintain your life force (prana), which imbues you with energy, vitality, and radiant immunity. Rather than finding yourself disappointed time and again when you don’t receive what you want from other people, you can be strong, like the sun, able to befriend and love others. When you practice Respectful Greeting Pose and understand its deeper meaning of becoming a friend to all, you fill yourself up with your own light. You become what you seek.
To do this pose, stand with your feet firmly planted on the ground, spine straight and tall, and head lifted. Mindfully bring your hands together at your heart center. When you touch your thumbs to your heart, humbly bow to the sun as being “a friend of all.” Really focus on connecting with your beautiful heart. With this sacred gesture, you’re staying in your own space, settling into yourself, and then greeting another with respect and affection. In this way, you don’t lose yourself in others. You can stay grounded in your own higher Self. Everything worth having is within you.
“When I practice Sun Salutations with the mantra and meaning, I feel I’m joining my heart, mind, and body to feel the vibration of the mantra and can connect to its meaning through my consciousness.”
— Clint
To benefit further, mentally repeat “I respectfully greet the sun as a friend of all” nine times while practicing Respectful Greeting Pose. The combination of this mantra and the pose can benefit the following conditions:
Sometimes loving yourself is as simple as taking a step outside. One of Ayurveda’s main goals is to restore your harmony with nature. The Ayurvedic sages spent their entire lifetime observing nature. Spending time outdoors is a wonderful way to absorb nature’s medicine.
There is so much to learn from nature. I remember a family vacation to Mexico, where we ended up in a jungle. It started raining, so I sat inside a gazebo gazing at a small island that was home to jaguars and black panthers. I spent the entire afternoon watching them with awe. I could see how much power, purpose, and dexterity went into each and every stride they took. Their power and purpose inspired me to contemplate how I could imbue greater dexterity into my actions. I later connected with these creatures as I practiced Cat Pose (Marjarasana), a yoga pose named after them.
An exercise you can try today is to sit by a window in your home and observe what you see outside. Write down a few observations. For those who live in more urban areas, these observations can be as minute as noticing the shadows cast by buildings. Then, sit in this same place around the same time tomorrow. Notice how things are different.
Nature teaches us a lot about change. Through the processes of digestion, aging, birth, death, career transitions, and moving homes, much changes in our lives. Just as nature yields gracefully to change, so can we. I observe how effortlessly nature adapts to change, like how birds gracefully migrate southward as it gets cold, and how the sky makes space for the sun, along with the storms and clouds, without stating any preference. I feel inspired by nature to not stay stuck in my fears and resistances. With nature as my teacher, I invite all things in my life to come and go, so that I may remain as supple as the wind, and face the circumstances in my life with courage and strength. As you go outside and observe, see if you, too, can start surrendering to all the natural changes in your life.
Did you know you can practice yoga even if you’re bedridden or in a wheelchair? The way I teach yoga, from my teacher’s lineage, is accessible to anyone and everyone, regardless of age, flexibility, or strength.
The main factor that makes yoga not only universal but healing at deeper levels is the mindful intention (sankalpa) that you bring and connect with while practicing. This mindful intention is what connects your body, mind, and spirit.
The key is connecting with each part of your body before moving it. This expedites the healing potential of each of your movements. The following exercises can be practiced anywhere, by anyone, ideally when your stomach is not full.
Neck rolls. Sit straight, with your eyes closed. Visualize your neck. How does it feel? Observe any stiffness you may be experiencing. Set an intention that “I, the all-powerful one, will now move my neck from side to side.”
While staying connected with your neck, start slowly moving your head and neck to the right side, center, and then the left side, and back to center. Repeat this a few more times, moving mindfully all the while.
Lotus fingers. Close your eyes. Take a moment to connect with your beautiful hands and fingers. Your hands do so much for you. They make it possible to write, shake hands, drive, open and close doors, cook, and turn the pages of this book. Really appreciate your hands for all they empower you to do.
Once you feel fully connected to each of your fingers and hands, offer an intention that “I will now allow my fully healthy Self to mindfully move my fingers into the form of a bud by bringing all of my fingers together.” Offer the intention to “open each of my fingers as wide as possible, allowing them to blossom like beautiful lotus flowers out of my very own hands.” Continue slowly opening and closing your fingers.
Practicing opening and closing your hands in lotus is a powerful way to align your head, heart, and hands.
Ankle rolls. Sit on the ground and extend your legs in front of you. Take a moment to breathe here. Really feel your feet. You can wiggle your toes to help you do that.
Set an intention that “I will now allow the infinite power of my Spirit to move my feet in circles.” Slowly rotate your right foot in a circular motion. After a while, reverse the direction of the rotation. Repeat with your left foot.
My teacher once told me a beautiful story about how her grandfather Baba taught her to do ankle rolls when she was bedridden as a teenager from a genetic health challenge (which she has successfully overcome). Back then, she didn’t feel like she could move anything due to her acute health condition, but then Baba told her she could because she is more than her body — she is the infinite Spirit. This inspired her to start to slowly move her ankles. As she moved her feet, Baba shared that she “was moving consciousness.” I love that.
Dogs love you no matter what. They don’t care if you didn’t do everything perfectly or didn’t achieve a goal you set for yourself. They love you even if you feel like the biggest loser in the world.
It is deeply healing to spend time taking care of dogs. I grew up scared of dogs, but the time I spent taking care of my teacher’s dogs, Saya and Sakhi, a black Labrador and a German shepherd, was a deeply healing experience. They were both gentle giants. Saya, in particular, was like a little saint dressed up as a dog. He was content to sit still and contemplate, it seemed. The unconditional love those dogs provided me was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.
To do Downward-Facing Dog, first come onto your hands and knees. Straighten your legs and lift your knees from the floor so you balance on your feet and hands. Lower your heels to the floor and actively press the whole surface of your hands into the ground. Really connect with the spirit of an unconditionally loving dog.
“Practicing yoga like this feels like a whole different experience that brings the physical and spiritual part of yoga together in a way that I truly cherish.”
— Kathleen
Whales can easily live more than 100 years. Do you know their longevity secret? They breathe really, really slowly. Slowing down your breathing through the practice of yogic breathing exercises (pranayama) enhances the quality of your life.
One beautifully simple breathing exercise you can practice anytime is called udgeeth, which means “song” or “singing”. I like to think of it as a whale-singing breathing exercise that makes you feel as strong and full of vibrant life force as a powerful blue whale in the ocean. I often imagine myself sitting in the mouth of such a whale as I practice it.
To do it, simply inhale through your nose, then chant OM as you exhale, holding the “O” sound for three times as long as the “M” sound. Focus on your heart as you inhale.
This is an excellent breathing exercise to practice if you suffer from low energy, depression, grief, lack of concentration, anxiety, or insomnia. Practice it before you sleep if you have trouble falling or staying asleep. Practice it in the morning to start your day on the best possible foot. Practice it anytime you find yourself absorbed in worries and sadness. It will nourish your physical and emotional heart, unlocking the power of love within you.
My present sanctuary space is made out of a simple cushion and cloth that I’ve adorned, upon which I’ve placed objects that are important to me. In the beginning it comprised a simple collection of letters from loved ones that made me feel safe and held when I first moved to New York City. As time and my spiritual journey progressed, I felt inspired to add photos of spiritual teachers, written poetic verses that uplift my spirit, beads, spiritual books, and more.
Now my personal sanctuary has three photos. One is of my teachers: Acharya Shunya, her grandfather Baba, and his father, Bade Baba. The second is of my maternal grandfather, Amarchand Khokhani, who was a renowned Ayurvedic doctor in India. Though I didn’t know him long while he was alive, and did not even know he practiced Ayurveda until I discovered it myself, I feel his spirit guides me. I can connect with it most profoundly at my sanctuary space. This space also has photos of Saya and Sakhi, my teacher’s beloved dogs, which I had the honor of caring for while they were alive. I also keep a lamp in this space that I light each morning after showering.
Do you have photos, quotations, or statues that inspire the best in you? These would be wonderful to assemble into a personal sanctuary space in a way that’s most personally meaningful to you. What you put into it matters less than the intention of connecting with your spirit while creating your space in a significant way. Your positive intentions will grow in strength each time you visit your sanctuary space.