Chapter 16

When Axel opened the door, Eden studied him carefully before speaking to him. She wanted to make sure her analysis had been correct.

Around him, she saw bits of red, blue, and purple, and the longer she stared at him, the stronger the colors became, especially the red. What she needed to figure out was if it was a sign of passion and love, or anger and a warning for her to stay away? She looked at his impassive face, intrigued and frustrated that she couldn’t understand him.

“Are you angry at me?” she finally asked.

He furrowed his brow and shook his head. “Why?”

She took a deep breath, knowing full well she would be putting herself in a position for him to hurt her emotionally, and it frightened and exhilarated her all at once.

“May I come in?”

He nodded and stepped aside. They stood in the room staring at each other, about a foot of space between them.

Well, here goes nothing.

“Axel, I’m just going to lay everything out on the line here. I have been completely intrigued by you since the first time I saw you. Now, I will admit, in the beginning, when I first arrived here, it was because I couldn’t see colors around you where everyone else lit up like a neon sign. It was like a sensory overload for me, and when it became too much, I sought you out because looking at you calmed me. But I wondered why I didn’t see anything when I stared at you. Then, these past couple of weeks, something has changed inside of you. I now see colors around you, but you are so hard to read, I can’t figure out what they mean.”

He ran his hand over his face and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Based on what I’ve seen and our interactions, I have to ask this. Do you have feelings for me?”

As he stared at her a long while, her heart thudded in her chest, her stomach clenched, and warmth traveled up her neck into her cheeks. She couldn’t believe how much she wanted him to say yes.

Finally, he looked down at the ground and simply nodded.

Her heart leapt with joy, but crashed again a moment later when he said nothing.

“Axel?”

He gazed up at her, his face stony, but the red around him swirled and danced like a fire in a windstorm.

She laid her hand on his forearm. “I have feelings for you, as well.”

Looking down at her hand on his arm, he remained silent for a moment, then said, “I can’t do this, Eden.”

A lump formed in her throat. “You can’t do what?”

He laid his hand over hers, the rough pads of his fingertips squeezing hers. Waves of yearning ran through her at his touch, and she wanted nothing more than for his big arms to encircle her.

“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to love you.”

His words cut through her with precision of a surgeon’s scalpel, yet the cut healed almost immediately. He loved her.

She stepped closer to him, close enough to feel his body heat. His hands dropped to his sides, and he stared down at her.

Reaching up, she caressed the strong jaw, his beard tickling her palm. He closed his eyes as he tilted his head to the side, as if he enjoyed her touching him, reminding her of Neptune, the cat, as he presented his cheek to be scratched. Her thumb skimmed his cheek while the colors around him became more vibrant and beautiful. They warmed her heart, and as the heat of his love flooded through her, she wanted to bathe in his beautiful aura.

“I don’t think we have to do anything, Axel. I don’t think there’s an instruction book on how to love and care for someone.”

Slowly, she stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. His breath caught in his throat and his body tensed, but she didn’t let go. After a moment, he relaxed, and placed his arms around her, encasing her in his safety.

They stood like that in silence for a long while. He had so many secrets to reveal, and as she listened to his strong heart pound in his chest, she knew that being with this man wouldn’t be easy. He’d stepped out from somewhere dark, and was slowly coming into the light. That black place had made him the man who held her today, and it had done something cruel and awful to him.

“This isn’t right, Eden,” he whispered, placing his chin on top of her head. “We can’t do this.”

She furrowed her brow. “Why not?”

“Because it goes against everything your father wants for you.”

Tilting her head up, she stared up at him. “Wasn’t it you that told me to quit asking for others’ permission and to do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it?”

He sighed. “Yes, but this is different.”

“No, Axel, it’s not. I want this, and even though you can’t express your emotions very well, I can see that you do, too. Let’s concentrate on making each other happy and not worry about what the others say, okay?”

As he studied her face, she thought she detected a small grin. He placed his hand on her head and pulled her close to him again.

“This feels … being with you like this makes me feel so good.”

She smiled, but didn’t answer, perfectly content to have his arms wrapped around her.

“We need to go slow, Eden. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Having no idea what that meant, she nodded. The way he held her so gently, she knew within her soul he didn’t mean to physically harm her. Therefore, he must be concerned about injuring her emotionally.

“Yes, Axel. We’ll go slow, but I do think we are off to a wonderful start.”