Bridegroom

To this day, family and marriage remain very important dimensions of the value system of those living in the Middle East. In Bible times getting married and having children was the norm. Young people considered it their obligation to participate in the system that provided economic and physical security for their clan. Thus the journey from bachelor to bridegroom was made as quickly as possible so that each young man could find his place in fulfilling this important role.

The process began in earnest during the teenage years when a variety of responsibilities related to getting married fell on the shoulders of the prospective groom.[27] Though his parents formally arranged the marriage on his behalf, the bridegroom typically was involved in the discussions that led to the selection of his mate. It was also the bridegroom’s responsibility to secure the mohar or bride-price. This fee, agreed on in advance with the bride’s family, was paid either in cash or in service (Gen. 29:15–30; 1 Sam. 18:23–27) and was designed to compensate the bride’s family for the loss of a family member who contributed to the well-being of their social unit.[28] Once the mohar was paid, the betrothal was formally under way. Then it became the duty of the bridegroom to woo his bride-to-be, building a relationship with her while forgoing any type of sexual intimacy. Toward this end, the bridegroom enlisted the aid of a trusted friend who helped him negotiate these new and challenging waters. In addition to relationship building, the bridegroom also began constructing an additional room in the family living compound in which he and his bride would raise their family (John 14:2). The responsibilities and the time needed to accomplish these social obligations were so great that a young man was excused from military service during the betrothal period (Deut. 20:7).

A wedded couple would typically move in with the groom’s family. Once the marriage was arranged, the bridegroom set about adding a new room such as this one to the family compound.

All this preparation culminated in the wedding day itself when the groom traveled to the family home of his bride to bring her in festive procession to the wedding celebration that lasted from seven to fourteen days. During this time the bride and groom were excused from any other responsibilities and dressed in ways that marked them as the special focus of the celebration. Following the first day of the celebration, they retired to a special chamber where they enjoyed the sexual union they had long anticipated (Ps. 19:5).

The formal mention of the bridegroom in the Bible nearly always occurs within a figure of speech. At times the image builds on the connotations of joy and celebration. For example, the people of Zion are likened to the ornately dressed and royally treated bridegroom (Isa. 61:10). Conversely, the Lord is represented as the bridegroom who “rejoices over his bride” (Isa. 62:5).

When the prophets formally mentioned a bridegroom, however, it was frequently in judgment speeches that foretold this joy going away. Jeremiah repeatedly called for God’s people to abandon their rebellious path. And he warned that if they failed to do so, the most fundamental elements of life would change. “I will bring an end to the sounds of joy and gladness and to the voices of bride and bridegroom in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem, for the land will become desolate” (Jer. 7:34; see also 16:9; 25:10; Rev. 18:23). The need to repent was so great that bridegroom and bride were urged to abandon their first night of romantic pleasure in their marriage chamber in order to participate in seeking God’s favor (Joel 2:16). Only many years after the exile did God remove the consequences of his judgment, and that change is marked in Jeremiah with a reversal of the metaphor, promising that the celebratory voice of the bridegroom and bride will return to the land (Jer. 33:11).

This statue from the thirteenth century BC captures the posed Egyptian family of Ptahmai. Wedded life was the norm in all cultures of the ancient Near Eastern world.

In the New Testament Jesus is pictured as the bridegroom. When the less sober demeanor of his disciples was called into question, he observed that the time of his presence on earth was a time for celebration because the bridegroom was among them. All too soon that would change, introducing a time when pensive fasting would be appropriate (Matt. 9:15; Mark 2:19–20; Luke 5:34–35). Jesus is also pictured as the bridegroom in the eschatological parable of the ten virgins (Matt. 25:1–10). Traditionally the bridegroom made his way to the bride’s home to take her to the wedding celebration, and Jesus’s second coming is likened to that journey. The parable calls for the church—the bride’s attendants—to remain ever attentive for his arrival.

The image of Jesus as bridegroom was also used by John the Baptist and Paul to help define their role in comparison to Jesus. In each case they described themselves as the faithful friend who was pledged to assist the bridegroom during the betrothal period. John said, “The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete” (John 3:29). And Paul said, “I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him” (2 Cor. 11:2).

The connotations of bridegroom as protector are ironically reversed in two instances. In Judges 15:6 Samson baited the Philistines into ever deeper aggression against himself, his intended bride, and her family. Rather than bringing benefits to this Philistine family, he brought increasing harm to them en route to the increasing harm he eventually brought to many Philistines. The most striking appearance of this ironic image, however, comes in the difficult verses of Exodus 4:24–26. After Moses accepted God’s call to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, the Lord was going to execute him on his way to fulfill the assignment. Zipporah, Moses’s wife, interceded on his behalf, ironically playing the role of his protector. She then attached a stinging title to her husband, calling Moses her “bridegroom of blood” (v. 25).