Kiss

Today a wave, handshake, hug, and kiss can mark varying degrees of intimacy in a relationship. In the ancient Near East the meaning of a kiss could overlap with many of these. Its message was determined by a number of variables, including whether the kiss was given on the hand, mouth, or cheek or if the person kissed the ground (Song of Sol. 1:2; Sir. 29:5),[124] as well as the length of the kiss, the gestures associated with the kiss, the social relationship of the ones exchanging the kiss, and whether the setting for the kiss was public or private.

In general we can speak of four categories of kissing: (1) the greeting kiss, (2) the departure kiss, (3) the kiss of respect, and (4) the erotic kiss. Friends and family members were often described as greeting one another with a kiss (Gen. 29:11–13; Exod. 4:27). Note that this kiss might have been accompanied by a respectful bow when someone of lower social status was acknowledging his or her position before a superior (Gen. 33:3–4; Exod. 18:7). The greeting kiss delivered the connotation of acceptance, so it was mentioned particularly in contexts where relational tension had been resolved and was often connected with a heartfelt embrace (Gen. 33:4; 45:14–15; 48:10; Luke 15:20).

A subject could show deference to a king whose authority he recognized by kissing his feet.

The antithesis to the greeting kiss is the departure kiss (Gen. 31:55; 2 Sam. 19:39; 1 Kings 19:20; see also Gen. 31:28). This kiss connoted the connection that endured even when the two were separated by distance or death. This is the kiss that Joseph gave to the cooling body of Jacob as death separated father and son; the kiss that Naomi gave to her daughters-in-law as she planned to leave them, but which Ruth could not bring herself to give in return; the kiss that David and Jonathan exchanged when it became clear that the realities of life would keep them apart; and the kiss that the Ephesian Christians gave Paul, knowing that they would not see him again (Gen. 50:1; Ruth 1:9, 14; 1 Sam. 20:41; Acts 20:37).

The kiss was also a way of showing respect to someone who was socially superior. It was customary in the ancient Near East to kiss the ground before a king.[125] After anointing Saul as Israel’s king, Samuel may have delivered this kind of kiss in front of Saul (1 Sam. 10:1), and it is also the kiss the psalmist called for the kings of all nations to render to God’s Son (Ps. 2:12). And it was customary for students of a rabbi to kiss their teacher in respect.[126] In an ironic twist, it was the sign Judas used to betray his teacher, kissing him to indicate the one the mob should arrest (Matt. 26:48–49). Though this kiss was not typically delivered to the feet of the rabbi, the sinful woman mentioned by Luke repeatedly kissed Jesus’s feet as he reclined at dinner. When objections were raised, Jesus pointed out that she was the only one who had recognized him in this way. In fact, the host of the meal had not even greeted him with the traditional greeting kiss when he arrived (Luke 7:38, 45). In contrast, the kiss of respect delivered to the feet of or on the ground before an idol was a pagan worship practice from which the biblical authors recoiled (1 Kings 19:18; Job 31:26–27; Hosea 13:2).

Finally, there is the erotic kiss on the lips as foreplay to more intimate acts to follow. The adulteress used this private kiss in the open streets in an effort to lure her next paramour into bed with her (Prov. 7:13). This was the kiss that the lover longed to share privately with her beloved, but she found herself prevented from having even the most innocent kiss with him in public. “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine” (Song of Sol. 1:2; but see 8:1).

A greeting becomes a betrayal when Judas kisses Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Special mention is deserved for three other types of kisses reported in the Bible: the kiss that was deceptive in nature, the holy kiss between believers in the early church, and the figurative kiss. The first reference to the deceptive kiss was when Jacob kissed his father pretending to be his brother in a bid to steal his brother’s birthright (Gen. 27:26–27). Later, Absalom had been welcomed back into the good graces of his father with a greeting kiss (2 Sam. 14:33), but shortly afterward he used a kiss to foster a revolt against his father. “Whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him” (2 Sam. 15:5). And Amasa thought that Joab was delivering a friendly greeting kiss, but it was only meant to distract his attention from the knife in Joab’s other hand (2 Sam. 20:9–10).

The encouragement to “greet one another with a holy kiss” is mentioned frequently in the closing of New Testament letters (Rom. 16:16; 1 Cor. 16:20; 2 Cor. 13:12; 1 Thess. 5:26; and perhaps 1 Pet. 5:14). This kiss was used by the early Christian community to show their connection to one another through Christ.

This leaves the figurative kiss, which is used in three ways: (1) The ideal world is described as one in which “righteousness and peace kiss each other” (Ps. 85:10). (2) An honest answer is as desirable as an erotic kiss on the lips (Prov. 24:26). (3) The truism that criticism from friends can hurt but is more helpful than the compliments of enemies is captured in this metaphor: “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Prov. 27:6).