Big Bear was one of the most beautiful areas in California. The lush greenery of the San Bernardino National Forest rolled across the distant hills and circled the lake. It had been a couple of years since Bowie and the team were here for a four-day weekend to fish, drink, and play poker.
Alayna spoke from beside him as she took in the panoramic view of the lake below while they approached the small community. “It’s really beautiful. The girls have never seen mountains like this. I’ve never brought them up here.”
“It’s hard to drive and keep an eye on everyone at the same time.”
“Yes. That, and they were all so little, there wasn’t much they could do.”
“Don’t say that too loud,” Bowie said in a whisper. “Addison thinks there’s nothing she can’t do, and Rosa is her sidekick.”
“You’ve been with them twenty-four hours and just discovered that? I have to watch them both like a hawk.”
“I used to know a girl who was just like them.” He shot her a look. “I don’t remember you ever backing down from anything.”
She remained silent, her expression introspective. “I learned to be little more cautious. There are repercussions for everything you do in life.”
Bowie shot a quick glance at Emilia via the rearview mirror.
Surely Alayna realized her caution had rubbed off on her eldest daughter. The six-year-old spent most of her time observing everyone around her and waiting for cues from her mother or the other girls before answering or acting.
Bowie asked, “Who’s hungry?”
“Me!” For once Rosa beat Addison. Rosa and Addison had a competition going to see who got the most attention.
“What about you, Emilia? Are you hungry too?” He made a point of asking because she so rarely said anything or replied to questions.
She glanced up at the rearview mirror. “Yes.”
“Have you ever had home-cooked tacos?”
“Mama fixed us some. Rosa and Addie made a mess.”
“I bet they were younger. They’re bigger now, and they won’t make a mess. Will you, girls?”
“No.” This time Addison won the race.
“And we’ll have longhorn pancakes and sausage for breakfast in the morning. Have you ever had longhorn pancakes?”
Emilia smiled. “No.”
“It’s about time, then.”
“What’s a longhorn?”
Bowie shot Alayna a look. What the hell? You could take the girl out of Texas, but you couldn’t take Texas out of the girl. Or so he’d always believed.
Alayna laughed. “It’s a type of cow raised in Texas, honey. It has big horns. A long horn pancake is the shape of its head with big horns.”
Addison mooed, making horns with her fingers. Rosa joined in, and together they created an ear-splitting racket of moos.
“I’ll show you a picture when we get to the cabin.” After a beat of silence, he said, “You really did put Texas behind you when you left.”
“I had to. Things at home were…” She shook her head. “I finished my paralegal degree at college while I worked afternoons and weekends at a law firm, and I took some classes in California law when I moved here. Then I landed my job with Mr. Kappes. He’s been wonderful.”
“What about your mom, Alayna?”
“We haven’t spoken in ten years. Joanna called unexpectedly a couple of years ago. She told my Dad she was going to Galveston and came to visit. That was right after Rosa was born. She stayed three days, then went back. She’s only called a couple of times since then.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I keep hoping they’ll eventually realize what a lowlife piece of excrement Harry is and walk away.”
Wow. Her father, who who insisted on being called Harold, would shit if he heard the way his daughter referred to him. Her bitter, unhappy expression told the rest of the story. Whatever had happened between them, it was something major. And based on her reaction, it wasn’t over.
He couldn’t think of a single comforting thing to say to her. He didn’t have the happiest family life growing up. Just the opposite. But he and his siblings had covered each other’s backs, knowing there was safety in numbers.
As though she read his thoughts, she said, “You mentioned Moira the other day. How is she doing?”
“She’s living with a guy she met online. He’s ten years older and needs someone to take care of him. I wish him luck with that.”
“Have you talked to her?”
“Not in a couple of months. That’s about how long it takes her to run short of money and call. Now there are three of us working, she spreads the mooching out among the three of us.”
“I’m sorry. I hoped she’d changed.” There was real regret in her tone.
“Not going to happen. We just leave her to it and hope she stays where she’s at.”
Five minutes later they pulled into the driveway of the cabin. Nestled back into a framework of trees, it looked like a regular bi-level house until they opened the front door. A large stone fireplace drew the eye the moment they walked into the living room. Too bad it was early summer and already too warm to build a fire. But maybe they’d have a chilly night or two.
Wide wooden beams crossed the ceiling. Beadboard wainscoting, painted white, covered the lower part of the walls, while the upper half was a warm gold to match the stone fireplace.
The chairs and couch were sprawling, overstuffed leather pieces guaranteed to be comfortable enough to sleep or sit on. The coffee tables and end tables, sturdy, wood-framed pieces perfect for the mountain atmosphere, looked heavy enough to withstand some wear and tear.
He’d learned from hanging with Langley and Trish Marks’s three kids, the key to keeping children happy was keeping them busy until they crashed for a nap.
Unloading the car was the perfect time for that. They all had their own backpacks with toys, books, and little girl necessities. Bowie lined them up and slipped their packs on their shoulders and sent them scooting back into the house with Alayna to organize their play space on the round breakfast nook table, which had more than enough room. He followed them into the kitchen, wheeling two coolers of food to unpack later, while the girls got settled.
He rolled Alayna’s bigger suitcase into the master suite, where she and the girls had access to a bathroom of their own, then hefted his duffel over his shoulder and climbed the stairs to the second floor. The bedroom under the eaves, where he’d slept before, had been updated a little, as had the bathroom across the hall with sandstone-colored tile and chrome fixtures. The warm desert colors went well with the deep green comforter and shams, and looked more masculine than the two bedrooms downstairs.
It would work well having the ladies’ domain downstairs while he had the upper floor. Separate but handy. If he was downstairs in close proximity, he’d be too fixated on Alayna sleeping with only a wall between them.
At least the girls’ presence kept his thoughts from wandering in that direction more than a couple of times an hour. But it didn’t keep him from being aware of Alayna, wanting to touch her, wanting more. He was eaten up with the need to know if they could recapture the lightning in a bottle they’d known before. Memories clamored in his head, breeding curiosity. Could it really have been that perfect? And if it was, why the hell did she break it off? Before this was over, he was going to—by God—find out.
He tossed his clothes into drawers, stowed his duffel in the closet, and secured his Sig Sauer P226 on a high shelf beneath the extra pillow and blanket stored there, and went back downstairs to bring in the two last bags of staples they’d gotten at the store and check how the girls were doing.
Alayna was cooking hamburger, onions, and peppers in a skillet and had unpacked the coolers.
“Need some help?”
“I’m good, unless you want to cut up some tomatoes.”
“Tacos!” Rosa yelled from her seat at the table.
“You said the magic word in the car, and nothing would do but that I get right on it.”
Bowie laughed. “It sounds like Rosa likes tacos. Do you like tacos, Rosa?”
The master of one-word answers replied, “Yummmm,” as she wiggled little people on her fingers.
Bowie chuckled. The kid was killing him. All of them were. He was already getting attached. “We can eat outside on the back patio, and I’ll hose everybody down when they’re done.”
Alayna laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”
A rainbow shone in the mist from the sprinkler Bowie had hooked up to the hose out back of the house. The girls were in their bathing suits taking turns leaping through the water. With their blond hair, dark with water and stuck to their heads and shoulders, they looked like water nymphs.
The girls’ laughter eased the anxious knot that had taken up residence in the pit of Alayna’s stomach since leaving her apartment earlier. No, it had been there since the attempted kidnapping at the bank, and had gotten worse with every additional catastrophe.
But they were out of reach and anonymous for at least a week. And no one but Detective Gray knew where they were. She could relax.
Or could she? Her attention strayed to Bowie, stretched out in the sun on the lounge, his gaze focused on the girls, his mouth crooked in a half smile.
Had she ever seen Aaron that besotted with his daughters? Perhaps Emilia when she was first born. He’d been so happy then. He had less time when Addison was born, since joining a new real estate firm and having more responsibility thrown at him. When he walked away while she was pregnant with Rosa, she’d been grateful, and glad he never even tried to bond with their youngest child.
She could have saved them all a mountain of heartache if she’d just filed for divorce before then. Her gaze rested on Rosa while she danced with excitement as she waited her turn to leap through the water. She wouldn’t have had Rosa. That alone made the hurt worth bearing.
The sun dropped behind the distant hills, and a chill tinged the air almost immediately. Five more minutes and she’d call them in to dry off and get dressed. She’d feed them a light meal, get them interested in a game, and let them watch a few minutes television before bed. They’d sleep soundly tonight.
Bowie spoke close to her ear, “What are you thinking about?”
His warm breath fanned her cheek and sent chills through her. “How lucky I am to have them. No matter how bad things get, they’re all that matters.”
He shifted a chair closer to hers and sat down. “But you deserve something for yourself, too.”
Her heart drummed hard. It took her several seconds to build up enough courage to look at him.
The careful control of his features made it impossible for her to read what he was thinking, but his eyes held something else altogether. Something that scared the hell out of her. She wouldn’t survive getting involved with him, only to lose him a second time.
“I have too much baggage, Bowie.” Baggage she couldn’t hope to share with him. It would be too painful for them both when it didn’t work out. Besides, he couldn’t be interested in her in that way. He just had a thing about taking care of people.
“The shit that’s going on right now will pass.”
“But the kids won’t.”
“I don’t view your girls as an obstacle. Why should anyone else? They’re doing okay with me, aren’t they?”
They were. His steady, calm nature gave them an opportunity to enjoy him. Even Emilia seemed to trust him a little.
“I’ve been alone for nearly three years, Bowie. Actually a lot longer. Aaron had already left our marriage by then. I haven’t dated anyone since the divorce.”
“Why not?”
“I didn’t want to make any more mistakes that could affect my children. The upheaval they’ve been through has affected all of them, but Emilia more. She’s anxious so much of the time. Addison was only two when he left, and Rosa hadn’t been born yet. But Emilia was there for all the stuff that went on during the implosion of our marriage. I tried to protect her from it, but I couldn’t. Aaron has a volatile temper, and he’s loud. Sometimes words can seem worse than a blow when you’re only four.”
“Have you made Aaron aware of how things have affected Emilia?”
“I’ve told him. Luckily, he’s rarely home during the time he and Bliss have the children. Bliss never raised her voice to the girls, and they seemed to like and accept her.” Another wave of grief and regret hit her. She wished she’d taken the time to get to know the woman better.
“Mommy. Cold,” Rosa pressed her little body against Alayna, soaking her clothes. She welcomed the distraction.
“Yes, you are.” She’d meant to call them in ten minutes ago, but had gotten sidetracked by Bowie. Alayna reached for a towel from the table, dried Rosa’s hair and rubbed her little body until she was warmed, then wrapped the damp towel around her.
Bowie turned off the water and herded Emilia and Addison toward her.
She dried Emilia and Addison while Bowie took Rosa in. He was standing in the living room cuddling her, keeping her warm when the three of them came in.
“Burgers or hotdogs?” he asked.
“Hotdogs,” Addison yelled as she ran into the bedroom.
He set Rosa on her feet, and she ran into the bedroom, dragging the towel behind her, barking like a dog.
“What about you, Emilia?”
“Hotdog, please.”
He grinned at her, and a small smile peeked out at him before she walked into the bedroom at a more sedate pace than her sisters.
“She’s like a little copy of you,” he commented, and went into the kitchen.
By the time Alayna had all three dressed for bed, Bowie was taking the burgers and hotdogs out to put on the grill.
The smooth efficiency with which he seemed to do everything took so much pressure off her. Was he always like this?
After their quick meal of hotdogs, store-bought potato salad, and steamed carrots, she settled the girls in front of the television for thirty minutes of cartoons while she cleaned up.
Bowie disappeared upstairs and returned wearing running shorts and a T-shirt. His legs looked long and muscular in tight shorts, his stomach taut in the tank-style T-shirt. “I’m going for a run. I’ll be back in a little while.”
“Okay.”
He leaned down to whisper in her ear, setting every nerve alight in her body. “You still remember how to use a gun?” At her nod he continued. “There’s a Sig upstairs in the closet on the shelf under the blankets. It’s loaded and ready. Lock up behind me. I’ll case the neighborhood and make sure everything looks okay.”
A dropping sensation struck her stomach. “You don’t think…”
“No. No one knows we’re here but Gray and his partner. I’m just being thorough and getting the lay of the land.” He gave her arm a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
“Okay.” She pressed a hand to her throat where her heart still pulsed, fast and hard.
Emilia looked up from her coloring project at the kitchen table, her expression anxious. “He’ll come back, won’t he, Momma?”
“Yes. He’s just going for a run. He has to stay fit for his job.”