So, my beloved child, this part of the tale ends, but, for those of us who are left behind to mourn you, it will never end, while we live.
I have so many happy memories of you, from the moment you drew your first breath. Of you as a baby, a child and, later, a young woman. I cherish them all but memories are not enough because they are not you. You, yourself, are no longer with me, to cheer me up by your presence when I am low. To be part of my future through your own children, to bring comfort to your dad and I as we grow older.
All my hopes and dreams have been shattered because you are no longer here to share them with me. Your own dreams and desires, and those of Mark, will never come to pass now. They all disappeared in one moment of madness. That, above all, is one of the hardest things to bear, and certainly one of the saddest.
I feel your spirit all around me, in every little thing I do. In my waking and in my sleeping, you are always with me, helping me to get through the lonely days and the sleepless nights. I see your face in every rainbow, in the robin who draws near to me in your garden, in every flower that blooms and in the very air that I breathe.
You were with me on that terrible morning when you left this world behind. I heard the choirs of angels singing at what must have been the moment of your departing, and I knew then that I had lost you.
You are with me even as I write these words and you will remain until my final day. Maybe then we shall be together again, in a better place than this cruel world of ours, a world you entered too early and left far too soon.
I am comforted by the fact that you were mine for almost 22 years but it does not take away the pain of your loss. You had so much to offer, so much to give and now there is a void in my life that can never be filled.
Thank you, Rachel, for the privilege of being your mother and for giving me the pleasure of the years I had with you. You will live in my heart forever and, without you, there will be no perfect day. I love you, Rach, and always will.
Sleep tight now and stay close by me, until we meet again. The song is ended but the melody lingers on.
Your broken-hearted Mum xxx
I’ll lend you for a little while a child of Mine, God said,
For you to love the while she lives and mourn for when she’s dead.
It may be six or seven years or twenty-two or three,
But will you ‘til I call her back take care of her for Me?
She’ll bring her charms to gladden you and, should her stay be brief,
You’ll always have her memories as a solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay since all from Earth return,
But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn.
I’ve looked the whole world over in My search for teachers true,
And from the folks that crowd life’s road I have chosen you.
Now will you give her all your love nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to take this lent child back again?
I fancied that I heard them say,‘Dear Lord Thy will be done,
For all the joys Thy child will bring this risk of grief we’ll run.
We’ll shelter her with tenderness, we’ll love her while we may,
And for the happiness we have known forever grateful stay.
But should the Angels call her much sooner than we’ve planned,
We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.’