TWENTY-EIGHT

 

“NO . . . NO . . . NO . . . !”

It is early in the morning. Anij wakes up with such a cold shiver down his spine. His pillow and sheet are soaked with his tears and sweat. He had just had a nightmare. He often has the same kind of nightmare about his old days. In his dreams, he is with his family and friends from Bikini island.

It is unusually cold for a tropical place. He closes his eyes as if he is enjoying the coldness and harshness of the frosty atmosphere or the nightmare itself. Fumes are coming out from his nose as he smokes. As the fumes are filling up in his room, he slowly opens his eyes and gazes at his room.

A shabby, worn-out desk is sitting beside a window. The windows are half-closed, with black suede curtains. On his desk, there are lots of half-empty cigarette packs. There is no other furniture in his room. Since he doesn’t really do anything here other than sleeping, there is no need for any more stuff. Or maybe he wants to remind himself of an old house that he used to live in on Bikini island, where literally nothing was available. Faded paint is peeling off in various places on the walls and the ceiling. Some nails are sticking out. The tips of those nails are slightly bent to tell the age of the house; they probably had to take millions of kicks or stomping from many different feet. A little bathroom is seen behind the desk. The same story goes in the partially functioning bathroom. Not an attractive room.

Anij gets up from his bed. He puts the cigarette butt into a closed pack on his desk. He is looking out the window. As he does every morning, he plans his whole day. It is not really a “plan” when you are considering the same things every morning. But he likes to remind himself of what he should be doing. As far as his job is concerned, there is no time limit or hard deadline for anything, or anywhere specifically to start. Lots of times, it depends on his mood. Sometimes he just walks around the town with no apparent reason. Maybe he is a daydreamer. Or needs to go somewhere else to relax. He seeks no revenge in his work. He puts on some clothes and heads out abruptly. In the living room, Mario has been waiting for him.

“Hey, Anij. So . . . where are you going today?”

“I will be at the border of the town for some action.”

“Action? What kind?”

“You know. There are lots of juniors like I used to be once. Those guys entertain me. Which is good and bad. But I like it.”

“All right. Our Golden Hand is going out, now. Boys, make sure he stays safe at all times. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Let’s go.”

Anij and Mario’s boys are in the driveway. Anij takes the driver’s seat and starts the Cadillac. As soon as he turns the key, a rush of joy from the engine lights up Anij. Such a roar thrills the whole house as well. Then he heads for his destination. He smiles and talks to the boys.

“Okay, boys, hold on tight!”

“All right.”

“Here we go!”

“Wow! Eeeeha!”

“This is crazy!”

“You want more?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“That is what I am talking about!”

“Here we go again!”

“Oh!”

Suddenly, Anij puts full throttle, foot to the accelerator, and goes flat-out. The wind cuts through everyone’s hair. It surely feels refreshing and charming. It almost feels like the wind is cleansing their not-the-most-immaculate minds. When it comes to having fun, it is nobody’s business. He takes hard turns for all corners, like a movie hero. He ignores the traffic lights, just to elevate the mood a little higher, even though it is already insane enough. The boys in the car love it when he does this. That is one of the reasons why they follow Anij so well. He is fun to be around. They are truly having a blast.

Anij says to the boys, “All right, boys, we are here.”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“Okay. So what are we doing here, today?”

“Well, we are just going to watch people.”

“Watch people?”

“For what?”

“Well, you will see.”

“Why?”

“Come on, boys. You will know when you see it. Okay?”

“Okay . . . Whatever you say.”

Anij and his boys are sitting on a long bench placed at the corner of an intersection in a suburban area. There are lots of stores around the intersection, as well as many people walking by all the time. It is one of the busiest streets in the town. Downtown is rather boring, with the same old people trying to impress others by any means. But here, this is where you see different classes of people all mingling together to find their lives among one another. Different beats of walking are echoing throughout the intersection. Everything is so much more colourful. And of course, there is more entertainment on the streets. If anyone is looking for some sort of change, this is where it all happens. People are coming in and out of stores with shopping bags and many different kinds of bags. Lots of people are standing and waiting at the intersection for traffic lights. People are crossing the street to pursue their lives to the next level, or whatever.

The boys are unaware of why Anij has chosen this location. They are just watching the people coming in and out and passing by. There are a few very good-looking women passing by those boys. They are raising their voices intentionally to get their attention.

“Hey, check it out!”

“Wow. They are the true troublemakers. Ha?”

“Oh, yeah. Just look at those booties . . .”

“Oh. There is another one.”

“Yeah. I didn’t see that one coming.”

“Woo . . . There is a goddess.”

“Stupid. Not just one. Many, I would have to say.”

“Yeah. Sounds about right.”

One of the boys stands up and tries to say something to those cute girls.

“Hey, girls. You need an escort?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said, ‘You need an escort?’”

“Well. I am not sure what kind of escort you are talking about. Right? Girls? Hahaha . . .”

“We don’t want to make any trouble.”

“Place your eyes somewhere else, boys.”

The other boys are laughing at him.

“Wow. You just got burned! Hahaha!”

“Come on, girls! Isn’t he the cutest thing? Then what about me? Not bad, eh?”

“Well. Hahahaha. Boys, we have seen better.”

“Wow. That is bitter. You just got burned twice in a row. Shit . . .”

“Well . . . At least by a cutie.”

“Hahahaha.”

“See you around, boys!”

Young girls sure know how to tease boys. Our boys are just no match for those girls. But never mind those teasers. The boys are just having fun. They think this is the reason why Anij is here — the girls.

Whenever Anij comes here to watch people, he doesn’t smoke at all. No matter how long he stays, he doesn’t smoke at all. He is just watching people — no one in particular. No special focal point. Just his eyes straying on people in every direction. He is thinking about his life. This spot justifies his being. Or at least that is what he wants to be hypnotized by, because he is a lonely wolf in the attic who cries every night. He is looking at his life through the people on this street, wishing that he could have been one of them. Like someone with a perfectly normal life. No ups and downs, just a steady, gradual line.

That makes him think of his good old days on Bikini Island. There is no judgment there. He is already too old for that shit. No need for that anymore. He doesn’t wonder about how he has turned out to be like this. No. It is the mixture that he wants, putting past and present together. As he is sitting on the bench, the way people move around him makes the time go back and he remembers the most amazing stories of Bikini Island. The images coming out from his brain are mingled with the people who are on the street now.

While the boys are busy getting lots of reactions from people, he doesn’t even budge. He is a petrified salt statue, and the greatest audience of his own imagination. The boys don’t bother him at all. They leave him to be himself. All they need to do is to kill some time with warm sunshine on their cheeks. Some are taking a nap. Some are still chasing after cute girls.

There is an Asian lady who is walking toward them. Nobody pays even the slightest attention to her. She is just a middle-aged lady who is carrying grocery bags. Anij notices her presence. He first takes a quick glimpse at her. Then his eyes move to other people. After a brief moment, he looks back at the lady. His eyes are squinting for a better view. He has no idea who she is for sure. But she looks awfully familiar. He just can’t recall who she looks like.

One of the boys notices that Anij is looking at someone in particular. He asks Anij, “Anij. Who is that?”

“Hey, who are you looking at like that?”

“Any hot girls around?”

“I can’t see any . . .”

“Who is it?”

“Someone in your mind? That is what this is all about?”

Finally, Anij answers, “Shut up.”

“Just tell me. Who is it? Come on . . .”

While the boys are bugging him more and more, Anij starts to concentrate on the lady. With unknown factors, the invisible power draws attention to Anij more and more. He is strangely attracted to her. There is nothing beautiful about her. But it is just strange that he keeps looking at her. Then it hits him hard. He thinks that she could be his mom! It has been so long since he saw her. His mom’s face has faded and has been buried in a dark room for a very long time. He starts to dust off her picture in his mind. But it is not easy to recover. Time is his biggest enemy. He speaks.

“Shit . . .”

“What? What is it, Anij?”

“I think that is my mom . . .”

“What?”

“Really?”

“You remember her face?”

“Not really. But I can say she could be my mom . . . Just maybe . . .”

She is approaching him. Anij is getting up slowly, with much hesitation. He keeps on gazing at her. His heart pounds as if he is running a marathon. He can even hear his heartbeats. The blackout of his senses starts again. He can’t hear anything nor see anything clearly. All his senses are deprived. His brain is processing so fast that he can’t think straight. None of what he feels makes any sense to him. He is still juggling to think that she might be or not. He repeats to himself over and over, “Might be really? Or not . . . Could be? Or not . . . Can be? Or not . . .”

This battle of uncertainty is making him faintly ill. His consciousness is fading away from his body. His legs are not obeying his wishes. Nor do his eyes. He doesn’t even blink, so he doesn’t waste any time on watching the possible mom. Everything else in the background becomes black and disappears like a black hole. And she is the only thing that he can see with so many flashbacks on different layers. It looks quite odd from the third-person perspective: He is just standing still, looking like a statue in the middle of the intersection where everyone is moving.

Finally, the lady notices that he is staring at her. She glances at him and looks away. But then again she looks back at him watching her constantly. She feels a little intimidated. She changes her direction and crosses the street to get away from him. He is watching her crossing the street. There isn’t much he can do, anyway. He is just gazing at her going away from him. He keeps looking at her till she completely disappears from his sight.