THIRTY

 

IT IS A VERY STARRY NIGHT, the sky full of sprinkles of stars and nebulae creating the prettiest painting on a cosmic scale. It feels ominously enchanting. The scenery is too perfect to even blink his eyes. The stars are pouring over the sky. Nature is the best artist ever known. It is a shame that no one cares.

Anij is sentimentally looking at the sky through the window, filling his room with cigarette fumes. Suddenly, he takes off quickly to his car. Nature makes him spontaneous every now and then. He starts the car and leaves right away. With many turns at high speed, he stops at a place on the outskirts of the city where there is not a single trace of humanity at all. He slowly gets out of the car and lies down on the hood of his car. It is time for him to take some time off from humans. He simply looks at the stars and lets Mother Nature’s masterpiece take over the time and place.

Every star has its own story. That is what they say. The stories are scouring his mind as soon as his eyes land on the stars, one by one. Some sad. Some amusing. Some happy. Some painful. And all other tales of his own. The stars start to wiggle like fireflies little by little. He is amazed by the sheer beauty of it. With a bitter smile, his tears run down on his cheek; yet again, his cigarette fumes are forming an artificial corona around the stars. Many pictures from his old days on Bikini Island are wildly bingeing in the sky. And some others are from the dreadful ship; and tiny little pieces are from the naval base. But these are only transient thoughts, coming in and out just like the moon. He doesn’t care about that. At this moment, he can’t hear or see anything. He just wants to enjoy this moment of silent privacy.

Then out of nowhere, a cop is closing in on him. Anij is not aware of this. The cop gently taps his shoulder. Anij opens his eyes abruptly and wipes out his tears.

The cop asks, “What are you doing here?”

“What the . . . Oh . . . Sorry, sir. I was just thinking about something, you know.”

“Well, you look awfully young to be thinking about anything. Anyway, this is private property. You have to leave now.”

“Really? But it is so nice out here.”

“Well, you must leave now, son.”

“Okay, sir.”

His moment of privacy and self-indulgence disappears rather too quickly. He gets in the car and slowly moves away. The cop is standing and waiting for him to leave the property. Anij exits the property and drives rather very slowly to his house. He is still in his imaginary mode. It was not much of a vacation, which was what he needed. But it was ruined by the cop completely. It failed miserably. So instead, he is doing his imagining and reminiscing in his car while not a lot of cars are on the road. He deliberately takes some time to get back to his house, only a few miles away.

He is going upstairs to his room. One of the boys calls out to him, “Hey, Anij. Samantha called.”

“What? Why?”

“How would I know?”

“What did she say?”

“She told me to make sure you call her whenever you get home.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“What is going on? Anything wrong with her?”

“No. I don’t think so. Maybe she wants some more stuff . . .”

“Okay. I am going to bed.”

Anij picks up the phone in the hallway beside the stairs. He dials the number. The bell is ringing. Samantha is not picking up. So he tries it again. This time, she picks it up. “Hey, I called you some time ago.”

“Yeah. What do you need, Samantha?”

“Wow. What is up with the business tone?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I thought you are my friend.”

“Yeah, we can be friends. Why did you call?”

“Well, I need some more of the stuff you gave me last time. It is really good. Do you have more now?”

“Yeah, I got it in my room. Do you want it now?”

“Yeah, that is why I called you. I kind of need it now.”

“What are you . . . having a party or something?”

“No. I just want to taste that once again before I go to sleep tonight.”

“Ah . . . Okay. I will be there in about thirty minutes. Okay?”

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to come now, if you don’t want . . . But are you really coming?”

“Yeah.”

Anij reluctantly goes upstairs to get the stuff. He looks at his room. It is not much different than ever before. Maybe this is his life, not ever getting any better. He quickly brushes off those thoughts and checks the pockets of his other pants. He finds some.

He is not very pleased tonight, since he can’t even get a single moment to himself for a while; and then Samantha calls him in the middle of the night for a delivery. But Anij is a man of his word. He treats his customers with utmost respect. This obligation sometimes works tediously against him.

Since he wants to be alone after this delivery, he drives really fast to her house, holding down the gas pedal, ignoring traffic lights. After just a few moments, he gets to her house. He runs upstairs and knocks on her door. Samantha immediately answers.

“Who is it?”

“Delivery boy.”

“Come in.”

Anij looks inside as she opens the door. The house is surprisingly very clean. He backs off a little bit from the door. What a wonder! He can’t believe his eyes. He squints his eyes few more times to see if this is true or not. He exclaims, “Wow! What have you done?”

“Well, you like it?”

“Yeah, of course. It is clean just like a normal house.”

“Come on. It wasn’t that dirty, was it?”

“It was pretty goddamn dirty, you know.”

“Hahahaha. Okay. Now it is not. So it is good?”

“Hell, yeah! Good for you. Why did you decide to clean up all of a sudden?”

“Well, I just wanted to live better, you know. Like many other people . . . And something that you told me last time. Remember?”

“Hm . . . Oh, well. You took my words seriously. That’s good. Anyway, here is the stuff that you asked for.”

“Oh, thanks. This is really good. Have you tried it?”

“No. I told you. I don’t do drugs.”

“Come on. Try it. I will buy it from you and I will give it to you for free.”

“Well . . . I have a ton of those at home. You don’t have to give it to me for free. Haha.”

“No. I want you to taste it. It is really good. Come on, sit down.”

“Okay . . .”

Samantha makes a little room for him to sit down by her side on the couch. He is getting slightly uncomfortable. He doesn’t really care. It would be the first time for him to try drugs. Samantha says, “Well, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want. I just thought you would actually like it once you had it.”

“Oh, well. I don’t like to think about it too much. I have seen some people getting screwed up by that shit a lot. So . . . I am trying to stay as far away from it as I can all the time. When people ask me about this stuff, I just tell some bullshit to them. I am a salesman and a businessman. So I’ve got to talk, you know.”

“Wow, that is very good. Anyway, I am taking this now. You just watch what really happens with this stuff.”

“O . . . kay . . .”

She takes one chunk by the fingers and rolls a nice thick stash. It is very tightly sealed, as her skill shows. Then she licks and twists the end to seal it properly and lights up. It slowly burns and makes fumes gradually. He is not really curious what it will do to her, as he sees it every day at his house. As she inhales the first breath, she looks at Anij. Anij is also looking at her. Somehow, this triggers his curiosity. He has sometimes been quite curious about what really happens to people.

But now, he is about to lower his standards and try it once and for all. There is a whole world of uncertainty here: whether it will make him better or worse. He is observing every move and reaction from her as if he were shooting a documentary about drugs. His eyes are sparkling and paying attention to every detail of her action, even the slightest movement. He is so focused on her, he can almost transcribe her feeling into his body. She takes the second inhale very deeply. He is observing and studying her constantly and excessively. He never takes his eyes off of her. And of course, she is also looking at him constantly.

He is thinking about what he should do next. It is evident that he likes her. He is pretty sure that she knows it, too. But this may be the perfect timing or the worst. But as he struggles more, thinking about too many things, time is running out. It finally comes to him that he shouldn’t take advantage of this situation. Maybe it is not so great to take things for granted, especially when someone is not fully sober. But his manly instinct tells him a different story.

He knows about her boyfriend. No one wants to get caught in the act. Her boyfriend would be very capable of doing some crazy shit on him. But he can’t stop looking at her. She just looks so cute tonight. She can feel what he is thinking now, for sure. She plays a little game with him. That is how it always works with women. She gazes at him as she is exhaling the fumes to his face. The smoke covers his face, and she continues to look at him. He is not moving his face away from her. She is mildly surprised that he is not resisting this at all. She puts on a little smile and gives him a wink. He sees this and smiles back. As she inhales more and more, she slowly moves closer to him, inch by inch. Certainly, Anij doesn’t mind her being closer to him.

After a few more puffs, she is already so close to him. He is sitting at the edge of the couch. There is no more room to move. Just by breathing this toxic air, his control changes direction and leads him somewhere else. Puff after puff, her face is closing in. At the last puff of the stash, she puts her face just an inch away from his face with such soft and moist eyes. He can’t believe this is happening to him. It is like a dream come true. He is brushing her face and arms with his fingers ever so gently.

This is the first time he is enjoying being with someone so closely and intimately. He is not too sure what he should do with her, whom he actually cares about. But certainly he trusts his guts better than any other time. The girls he had before, he didn’t like very much. Situations made him be with them. And they were all after his money. So there was nothing to think about. But this is a voluntary invitation to happiness.

After Samantha gazes at him for a while, she asks, “Why do you always come alone? I know you are always with your boys. My friends and boyfriend told me.”

“Oh, he knows me?”

As they talk, they are both teasing each other, touching each other’s faces.

She continues. “Oh, yeah. Very well. You are kind of famous, you know . . .”

“Well . . . I am not sure about that . . . But why do you think I always come alone?”

“Well . . . I asked you first.”

“Hm . . . I don’t know. I think you know why . . .”

“I don’t know. I am just asking . . .”

“Because . . . I . . . just can’t get enough of you.”

Suddenly, he takes her neck and pulls it closer to his face. He kisses her with an immense amount of passion, but maintaining the level of softness and sensitivity. She grabs his neck as well and pulls him to her chest closer than ever. They kiss as if there is no tomorrow. He turns his head to the other side and she follows. Their breaths get heavier and more violent and sensual. He doesn’t have to hide his feelings for her anymore. And that is about it. Nothing else to worry or think about now.

He has been in love with Samantha for a long time, probably ever since he saw her for the first time. So he did some background check with other boys. He found out that she has a boyfriend who is also a drug dealer. Her boyfriend is a well-established dealer, so he pays for Samantha’s place and many more. But he treats her like shit very often. He is a time bomb with uncontrollable rampage. That is why she sometimes reveals her scars and bruises accidently to Anij. Or maybe she showed them to Anij intentionally to make him feel compassionate about it, so that he would take care of her someday. And it worked on Anij. Maybe compassion grew to become love.

They taste each other’s tongues endlessly. He grabs her ass and pulls her even closer to him. She sits on his thigh. Then Anij pushes her back and lays her down on the couch. She lets herself go with him tonight. He takes off his shirt fast without any hesitation. Then he continues to kiss her. He has totally forgotten about what he wanted to have tonight — the silent privacy. But that already escaped his mind some time ago. This is surely far better.

He slowly starts to move down from her neck. He grabs her breasts softly. As he goes down on her, he bites her breasts gently. She moans softly into his ears. She bites his ears and breathes heavily into them. Heavy and gushing breaths tickle his ears. Goosebumps rise up on his skin, every inch of his body. Then he takes her clothes off, all of them. They both look at each other with so much love. Quickly he resumes himself kissing her entire body. She moans again.

It is the warmest feeling they both have had for a very long time. He has been solely busy with his work, and Samantha has been abused by her boyfriend. This moment allows them to enjoy and cherish what they can do for each other. And they are very sure of it. He raises his head and looks at her. They both have so much to say to each other, but not a word comes out. There is no reason for them to speak when their bodies are telling them the whole thing. It is never good to say too much. So they put everything on reserve till they find the perfect time.

It is morning. On the couch, Anij is holding Samantha tightly. Her body is buried in his body. They are tangled up and naked on the couch. Morning sunlight hits their faces through the crack of the curtains. He is squinting his eyes and slowly waking up. He raises his head up. He sees her sleeping in his arms. His eyes are automatically becoming tender and soft. It has never been this good in any way. He never wants to let her go, so he holds her so tight. A very big smile blooms on his face and it is hanging down from his ears. Her presence has always made him feel good. But waking up in the morning with his arms around her has to be the best. He constantly looks at her as if he has never seen a woman before. His hand is gently gliding down from her face to neck, and arms to legs. Her skin is silky soft and purely white. He wants to enjoy all that he can. Then he gently kisses her ears and arms. Soon after, she moves and slowly wakes up. She stretches her body with a big yawn and opens her eyes. She whispers, “Hey . . .”

“Hello, my girl . . .”

As soon as they see each other, they start to kiss. It is again the uncontrollable urge, waking up all this passion. Overnight, their instinct has knocked the world upside-down and inside-out. Their passions become one. They unleash their inner feelings all at once. As their bodies are tangled and curled up, they don’t want to move an inch away from each other at all.

After a few hours, Anij gets up and gets changed. He has to go to work. She also gets up and asks, “Hey, what are you doing?”

“Hey, baby. I’ve got to go. But I will come back shortly after work. Okay?”

“When are you coming back?”

“Way before you crave it again.”

“What?”

“The thing?”

“Oh . . . Hahahaha. Did I look that hungry?”

“I wouldn’t say that you were exactly passive.”

“Shut up . . . Come back soon. Okay?”

“Okay. See you soon.”

They kiss goodbye.

At his house, he finds the boys all standing up from the beach chairs by the pool. They are all excited and putting smiles on their faces. They come to Anij.

“Hey, Anij. What happened last night? You didn’t come home.”

“Oh, yeah. I had to do something last night.”

They are all smiling as if they know something.

“Come on. Tell us what happened with Samantha. Come on . . .”

“What?”

“I know what you did. Tell us before I tell the whole town.”

“What? I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Shit, man! You didn’t do anything with Samantha? Then what the hell did you do all night long? Jerk off your wiener all night in your car?”

“Well, I just told you I had to take care of some business. And it took me some time. That is all.”

“Really? Really? Don’t bullshit me, man. I know what happened . . .”

They are still smiling and waiting for some answers. Since Anij has to keep a very low profile, he didn’t even want to say anything about this to anyone, not even his boys. He knows that these guys have quite big mouths. He presents the perfect poker face and says, “See my clothes? They kind of got dirty on the job. You know, some dirty job that I had to cover.”

“What? Nothing between you and Samantha?”

“Why? You know she has a boyfriend.”

“What the . . . She does? Did you know?”

“Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know. But she’s had one for quite a while as far as I know. And I don’t do those kinds of bitches, anyway.”

“Well . . . I believe you this time. But . . . I will find out. Come on . . . Really? Nothing?”

“Nothing happened except for the job that I did.”

“Okay. Okay . . . Shit . . . I thought you did something crazy with her . . . Never mind.”

“Oh, that is what you guys were thinking all day? Come on . . . I am a man of my word. I just don’t fool around, man. You know me.”

“Oh, yeah. But when it comes to women, the whole thing changes. You know that.”

“No. I would like to keep it my way. Nothing gets in between me and my work. Okay?”

“Okay . . . Whatever you say . . .”

“God . . . I can’t believe you guys were just talking about that the whole day.”

“Well, you know . . . We got nothing better to do anyway.”

“It could have been some news . . . Anyway . . . I am going to get some more of that shit.”

“Me, too. You don’t bring any joy to me, bitch. At least you could have done something with her, right?”

“Well. Whatever . . .”

Anij doesn’t feel any guilt for what he did with Samantha. He is going upstairs. Certainly he is thinking about her. From now on, his schedule will have to work with him, since he is planning to see her very often. Obviously, he can’t let it show. So everything has to be very smooth — just like his work. He is planning his whole week with her without anyone’s interference. No one wants to get burned by her boyfriend. Her boyfriend used to be a hit man! Some people know about that. So he’d better be very careful every single moment.

He can’t stop thinking about last night. This excruciating joy is making him so happy. His mind is fast sinking deeply into the swamp of love. The only problem is how often and when he can see her. For a tight alibi, he should mostly stay around home for a few days. Nothing should stand out.

Whenever he goes out for some business, he comes back home quickly. And he certainly doesn’t call her at all. But every day he is anxiously waiting for her to call him.