FOUR
“Booh . . . Booh . . . !”
The water-vibrating bass tone of the horn from a ship tells Anij that it is time to say goodbye to his friend and his family. It is the first time that anyone has left the island due to the bomb tests. Everyone is sad to see them leaving. Lots of people are at the port to see them off. Anij is one of them.
“Promise me that you will come back! Okay? Did you hear me? You really must come back soon! Okay?” Anij is screaming to his friend as the ship leaves the port. Some other boys are also saying goodbye . . . without saying goodbye.
“Hey, what about the soccer game that we talked about? You are not going to play?”
“You still have my stones from the beach. When are you going to give them back to me?”
“My mom is telling me that you cannot go now.”
“’Bye . . .”
As it was announced at the meeting, they are actually leaving. Lots of thoughts are going through the minds of the islanders who are watching the departure. It must be hard to let go. It is always the case. But more and more, everyone is experiencing bad things. This might become a next wave to these islanders.
Boys are waving their hands until they cannot see their friend anymore.
The ship blows its horn a few more times.
“Booh . . . Booh . . . !”
Once, that horn sounded good — when nothing was happening to them. But today, it carries much emotion.
Everyone stands there, still looking after the ship, even though they can no longer see it. With harsh sunlight on their faces, tears carve their faces, making them look like a frown valley. One by one, they start to turn away and head back home. Reluctant legs reflect their mental states. They walk very slowly. Some kick stones on the ground with clumsy legs. Some walk zigzag. This is especially hard for the boys.
* * *
A few days later, boys are playing soccer on the beach as if they don’t care too much about one missing player.
“Hey, pass me the ball!”
“What are you doing?”
“Your legs are crooked!”
“Shut up! I will score this time!”
“Here comes the biggest loser! Let him have it!”
“Come on! You’ve got to pass it!”
“Look at me scoring!”
“Ha-ha!”
Everyone is laughing at the boy who is shooting blind, as everyone expected. One of them starts to go on about the shooter, and the shooter gets mad and talks back. The quarrel starts.
“I told you! You cannot shoot! Your leg is just shit!”
“Oh, yeah? What about you? When was the last time you scored?”
“I make fewer mistakes than you!”
“At least I try. What do you do? Ha? We are playing to win, not to defend. Okay?”
“You suck!”
“No, you suck!”
“No, you suck more than me!”
“You are the worst player!”
“You are worse than me, so you are the real worst one!”
As the two boys continue to argue, they start to push each other harder and harder.
“You push me?”
“You started it first.”
“You shoot like shit. What do you expect me to do?”
“Why didn’t you score, then?”
“Then why don’t you pass the ball to me? You will see me scoring next time in your face!”
“Really? Whenever you are in front of the goalkeeper, you always pass the ball to me. What is the problem? What are you? A chickenshit or something?”
“You asshole!”
One pushes the other one hard. The other one gets knocked over. And naturally a fight starts. All the other boys are excited to watch a live match. They all gather around and make a circle instantly. Wherever they are, boys are boys. The formula always works. Everyone is screaming loudly.
“Yeah!”
The boys are fighting and rolling on the beach. As we all know, there is nothing to watch when kids are fighting. But the boys are as excited as if their horse is about to win the race and they have their tickets in their hands. They are broadcasting the fight live to themselves, while no one really cares about who is actually winning.
“Okay! Push him harder to the left!”
“No! You are losing, now! Use your legs! Come on!”
“You can do it! Punch him in the face!”
“Head butt is the best!”
“Kick his ass!”
“You don’t want to be a sissy, right?”
“Kick his nuts! Don’t be shy!”
Just about anything goes when boys are mad about something. And they are not always very rational, especially when it is about fighting.
While this fight is unfolding itself so naturally, on the other side of the beach, a few adults have gathered and are talking about the family who just left the island few days ago. They are sitting down on a beach patio and drinking whisky. The hot sun is surely making them drunk even faster. Every sip fries their tongues; it is as if they want to accept the pain to forget everything. Perhaps they even want to forget about themselves at that moment.
“So, what do you think?”
“Think about what?”
“You know, leaving this island for good.”
“Oh that . . . that . . . hm . . . well . . .”
He hesitates to even think.
“Come on. You looked like you wanted to leave that day. What happened?”
“Really? I did not see you there . . . But were you thinking about it?”
“Well . . . I was kind of thinking about it. But I don’t know. I can’t just leave, you know. I got family and some other shit . . . and . . . you know . . .”
“Oh yeah, I know. But I don’t think I can stay in this place for much longer. There is nothing going on in this island.”
“Me, too. This place is just so quiet and was dead to me a long time ago.”
“That is true. Since I can’t even catch any fish these days, I am not sure what to do. I have been sitting on my ass for the past few days now. It is killing me.”
“What about your wife? Nothing from her?”
“Hell, yeah. She keeps bitching at me, and it is getting worse. I can’t take her yapping and nagging all the time. I am about to be brainwashed. I might as well just go to a mental hospital.”
“Ha-ha. That bad?”
“True, man. She is driving me nuts. If she found out that I am here, she would probably want to kill me because I am not working and shit . . .”
“Wow . . . My bitch is fine so far. Maybe that will happen to me soon.”
“I bet she will become a monster and eat you alive while you sleep if she finds out anything about that girl you met a few weeks ago.”
“Ha-ha!”
“Ha-ha!”
“How did you know?”
“What? This entire atoll is smaller than your wiener. Don’t worry about it. I will keep it to myself.”
“Well . . . that is not funny . . .”
“What is the matter? Because it is true?”
“Shut up and just drink!”
“Heh, heh . . .”
These guys take a few sips while their bitter conversation is wafted away by the breeze.
The two boys are still fighting, and other boys are watching the fight. The excitement fills their brains so easily. A boy is running toward them. It looks as though he has something important to share. Just before he arrives at the scene, he screams out to everyone, “Hey, guys! Khitan is also leaving us now! He is at the port!”
“What? Really?”
The fight suddenly stops. Their faces become depressed and darker. Their fear of losing friends is starting to become a big deal. One of them asks the messenger, “Why?”
“I don’t know. Anyway, he is leaving now.”
“Not again.”
“Come on! Are you coming? Or what?”
“Okay, let’s go, guys.”
They all quickly run to the port to see Khitan for the last time.
When the messenger boy was screaming out his message, the guys who were drinking on the patio heard it as well. They put on sour faces immediately. The whisky never tasted so bitter.
“Oh, geez . . . another one is gone.”
“My bitch is going to bitch me about this shit. Shit . . .”
“I guess maybe it is better to leave here . . .”
“Maybe you are right. Tonight maybe I will talk about leaving here with her.”
“Really? Hm . . . Just maybe . . .”
“What?”
“Before you say anything to her, make sure you end what you started with that girl first, okay?”
“Shut the hell up! Man! What if someone heard that?”
“Well . . . then you should clean up your shit a little better next time before I see you. Okay?”
“Whatever . . . It is not like that. Really. It is not what you think.”
“Really? Any affair is the same . . . the way I see it.”
“Hm . . .”
After that first family left the island, leaving the island has suddenly become a second option for many people. Or can it be in fashion, now? This certainly creates some kind of pressure on many people, especially on those who can’t earn a living after the bomb tests completely screwed up their fishing. These people get mad and emotional whenever they see the lovely psychedelic colour changes on the ocean.
Many people are standing at the end of the dock to see Khitan’s family for the last time. And some other families will be standing here very soon. This must be going through everyone’s mind. Khitan’s mom is saying goodbye as the ship is moving.
“Goodbye, everyone. I will write you letters, if the new place is good. Well — that is what I hope to find.”
“Just look after yourself. Don’t worry about us. But make sure you write letters to us. Don’t forget.”
“Oh, I will not. I am sad and happy for what I am doing now.”
“See you sometime later, okay?”
“Okay. Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
Lots of people are waving their hands and are hoping to hear back from Khitan’s family after they find out about the new place. Unlike with the first family’s departure, lots of people turn up for this one. Who knows — they might want to switch their seats.
Anij is not saying goodbye, though. The others have already done enough of that. He is not one who wants to be left alone on this small island. Just thinking about saying goodbye to his friends is too miserable and unbearable for such a young boy. He just stands at the end of the dock and watches the ship till it disappears into the distance. After the ship is disappeared, he closes his eyes and hums the horn sound from the ship. Maybe he wants to leave here like his friends. “Booh . . . Booh!”
It is never quite a single stream of mind when someone feels something. It is always complex. Anij is climbing a cliff of emotions that is impossible to conquer. Failure is all he sees. It is a lonely game that he has to play by himself.